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  • 14 Jun 2016
    Christian and Transsexual
    I've mentioned a few times that I come from a christian family and they are having trouble fully accepting me. In fact, from a christian POV or what my family tells me as much as I feel like I want to go FtM and get the surgery, that'd be the final nail in the coffin and would "send me to hell". In other words, if I "give in" and have sex with girls once in awhile I may be forgiven, but if I go through with the lifestyle and get the sex change, there's no way I'll be going to heaven.. So to be 100% honest I'm a bit scared to go through with this at times to say the least. Are there any christian members out there with advice? (Anyone can comment though of course). I probably should've asked this sooner, but I was nervous to be honest. I don't want to offend anyone or be seen as a coward for not living the lifestyle, but I also don't want my family to hate me. I don't believe my mom will hate or disown me, but my dad might... That's why I'm worried. 
    1282 Posted by Kris McKinley
  • By Kris McKinley
    Christian and Transsexual
    I've mentioned a few times that I come from a christian family and they are having trouble fully accepting me. In fact, from a christian POV or what my family tells me as much as I feel like I want to go FtM and get the surgery, that'd be the final nail in the coffin and would "send me to hell". In other words, if I "give in" and have sex with girls once in awhile I may be forgiven, but if I go through with the lifestyle and get the sex change, there's no way I'll be going to heaven.. So to be 100% honest I'm a bit scared to go through with this at times to say the least. Are there any christian members out there with advice? (Anyone can comment though of course). I probably should've asked this sooner, but I was nervous to be honest. I don't want to offend anyone or be seen as a coward for not living the lifestyle, but I also don't want my family to hate me. I don't believe my mom will hate or disown me, but my dad might... That's why I'm worried. 
    Jun 14, 2016 1282
  • 25 Jul 2014
    One small step...
    Well, I came out ot work today to the HR person. It was unbeleiveably hard to start the conversation. I was on the verge of hyperventilating. It was almost like an out of body experience where I was outside myself while I was talking to her. Maybe that fact the she was a woman made it a little easier but it was still one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. I know I shouldn't think that all women will be that accepting. That would be like saying that all mtf transexuals desire men. She was very accepting and supportive. I was so relieved and overhwhelmed that we both ended up crying before it was over. I can't beleive I screwed up the courage to do this. Every small step brings me closer to the person I know I want do be. I hope my writing this will help someone else find their voice.
    1098 Posted by Marissa Mallo, News Hound
  • By Marissa Mallo, News Hound
    One small step...
    Well, I came out ot work today to the HR person. It was unbeleiveably hard to start the conversation. I was on the verge of hyperventilating. It was almost like an out of body experience where I was outside myself while I was talking to her. Maybe that fact the she was a woman made it a little easier but it was still one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life. I know I shouldn't think that all women will be that accepting. That would be like saying that all mtf transexuals desire men. She was very accepting and supportive. I was so relieved and overhwhelmed that we both ended up crying before it was over. I can't beleive I screwed up the courage to do this. Every small step brings me closer to the person I know I want do be. I hope my writing this will help someone else find their voice.
    Jul 25, 2014 1098
  • 10 Apr 2013
    A Parable for our times
    As trans people, many of us will be aware of how our condition inpacts on all aspects of our lives. One aspect is our work situation. As someone who is effectively self employed, I knew that continuing in my current work would not be possible once I had transitioned. I therefore took the view that it was best to make the person I was about to be a business partner with, aware that I had a medical condition that would preclude me from being involved with the company in the long term- but that I was very willing and capable to ensure that the business was on a sound footing.   I felt that this was both the right decision from a business perspective, but also in view of the friendship I had with my business partner (or prospective partner). I clearly took this decision based upon how I would react to such news if I was on the other side. What I did not expect was that I would now be out of work and also facing having to "repay" money that was apparently only advanced to me!   There are many good and honest people in the world of business, but it seems as though the vast majority of the unscrupulous types are male! Although there is some irony in the fact that I received this "news" the day after the passing of the Matriarch of the "no such thing as society" philosophy. It proves that you are never too old to be surprised at the levels to which some people will stoop, and how greed and avarice are often placed before friendship and moral rectitude.
    1546 Posted by Emma Gee
  • By Emma Gee
    A Parable for our times
    As trans people, many of us will be aware of how our condition inpacts on all aspects of our lives. One aspect is our work situation. As someone who is effectively self employed, I knew that continuing in my current work would not be possible once I had transitioned. I therefore took the view that it was best to make the person I was about to be a business partner with, aware that I had a medical condition that would preclude me from being involved with the company in the long term- but that I was very willing and capable to ensure that the business was on a sound footing.   I felt that this was both the right decision from a business perspective, but also in view of the friendship I had with my business partner (or prospective partner). I clearly took this decision based upon how I would react to such news if I was on the other side. What I did not expect was that I would now be out of work and also facing having to "repay" money that was apparently only advanced to me!   There are many good and honest people in the world of business, but it seems as though the vast majority of the unscrupulous types are male! Although there is some irony in the fact that I received this "news" the day after the passing of the Matriarch of the "no such thing as society" philosophy. It proves that you are never too old to be surprised at the levels to which some people will stoop, and how greed and avarice are often placed before friendship and moral rectitude.
    Apr 10, 2013 1546
  • 30 Jan 2013
    Dating Yourself
    Maybe I should say-would you date your old male self? I saw this question on a YouTube video and was fascinated. I have asked here in Cyrsti's Condo would you be the kind of daughter Mom would like or even would you be the kind of girl she would like to see her son bring home? Back to the question, would I date me?   For no particular egotistical reason I would say yes. As with so many other young men in my circles, sports and cars dominated my existence so as a young woman I would have had to expect it and adjust. I worked and had an income so as a young woman I could go with me and have interesting dates. (Or at least get out of the house!) I suppose I was reasonable looking and smart enough to be headed to college so there were worse guys to be seen with.   Drawbacks? As any male, past and present-old and young-I had an ego. In fact as a transgender woman I deal with it now with any men I meet. To think genetic women don't learn to deal with the game all their lives is crazy. Some just do it better than others and one way or another I would have had been socialized to the experience.   I was never a dating "superstar" and I certainly didn't fall into the "bad boy" category which genetic women supposedly are drawn to. Ironically the reason I wouldn't date me is because of my gender alignments. The ripping and tearing of my male and female sides made life miserable for me and all around me at times.  As I got older, I also turned to self medication in the form of alcohol for the most part and considered myself rather "non civilized" following seven consecutive years in college and the Army.  Perhaps the women who did date and marry me felt the basic female need to nurture and change me? The only thing I do know is my wife of 25 years said several times she saw the basic good in me under the turmoil thank God!   At any rate, it's a fun and interesting question for all of us to ponder-trans women or trans men. The next time you pull out the mirror to admire or dislike your image, try looking past the mirror and take a better look at yourself. The process may just make you a better woman or man.
    1189 Posted by Jessie Hart
  • By Jessie Hart
    Dating Yourself
    Maybe I should say-would you date your old male self? I saw this question on a YouTube video and was fascinated. I have asked here in Cyrsti's Condo would you be the kind of daughter Mom would like or even would you be the kind of girl she would like to see her son bring home? Back to the question, would I date me?   For no particular egotistical reason I would say yes. As with so many other young men in my circles, sports and cars dominated my existence so as a young woman I would have had to expect it and adjust. I worked and had an income so as a young woman I could go with me and have interesting dates. (Or at least get out of the house!) I suppose I was reasonable looking and smart enough to be headed to college so there were worse guys to be seen with.   Drawbacks? As any male, past and present-old and young-I had an ego. In fact as a transgender woman I deal with it now with any men I meet. To think genetic women don't learn to deal with the game all their lives is crazy. Some just do it better than others and one way or another I would have had been socialized to the experience.   I was never a dating "superstar" and I certainly didn't fall into the "bad boy" category which genetic women supposedly are drawn to. Ironically the reason I wouldn't date me is because of my gender alignments. The ripping and tearing of my male and female sides made life miserable for me and all around me at times.  As I got older, I also turned to self medication in the form of alcohol for the most part and considered myself rather "non civilized" following seven consecutive years in college and the Army.  Perhaps the women who did date and marry me felt the basic female need to nurture and change me? The only thing I do know is my wife of 25 years said several times she saw the basic good in me under the turmoil thank God!   At any rate, it's a fun and interesting question for all of us to ponder-trans women or trans men. The next time you pull out the mirror to admire or dislike your image, try looking past the mirror and take a better look at yourself. The process may just make you a better woman or man.
    Jan 30, 2013 1189
  • 27 Feb 2012
    First Time out - part One!
    Its monday morning, im off work today, im cleaning the house and doing laundry.when i pick up an item out of the hamper, my eyes fill up. this isnt the gypsy skirt that has lain in the wardrobe out of sight for so long..its the skirt i wore walking in london surrounded by my friends, with me feeling on top of the world. this Dress was the one i wore buying eyelashes in the pharmacy in a large shopping precinct. and this dress was the one i wore when we went out clubbing. no longer do these clothes feel "secret" or "wrong" but now they remind me of the most beautiful enjoyable time ive ever had as Debbie.   It all started when i joined the GS site, like so many others i had come looking for support, answers,and the rest. my head was a mess, my wife was frantic and i felt like i was staring into the abyss. i joined the chatroom and lay in the shadows for a few sessions, reading, listening and gradually being drawn into conversations. Carol Steel was the first to metaphorically hold my hand and we had many talks about my issues. as the weeks passed, my conversations with my wife grew less "weird" as we both tried to come to terms with the whole situation. She wanted to know everything i felt, why i did it, how i wanted to go forward..even at this early stage i had told her that i wanted to go out (but not local) and meet other girls like me. Im glad to say that she didnt dismiss the notion.   i met Faye in the chatroom and right away, we hit it off. we had the same sense of humour, we had similar problems, and i knew i had found a real friend. being in the chatroom everynight was such a laugh and a real help to me. the idea of a night out was mooted and after a while we decided to set a date for Feb 24th. Faye set up a forum topic to invite any GS members who fancied it. swoon afterwards met Jaquie and Monique,two other chatroom regulars who soon became great friends, and was delighted when they said they would be coming with us.! as the date approched Vikki K who is a sheer delight with a fantastic sense of humour made up the last part of the group, the famous five (or as Vikki said..the worst spice girls tribute act ever lol ).   I noticed a competition to win a makeover and photoshoot on the GS site and had the great fortune to win! after speaking to pops at stylemequirky,http://stylemequirky.com/transgender-dressing-service/ he kindly agreed to do me on the friday i was arriving. (more about stylemequirky later and in a new blog!)   the venue we decided on was a trans friendly club in Milton keynes called pink Punters http://www.pinkpunters.com/ and the Campanile hotel which is literally across the road from pink punters. both were what i'd call "safe environments" and perfect for any girls first time out.   as the time grew nearer, i grew more nervous i was physically sick on the morning of departure, thoughts of what could go wrong bouncing around my head. my wife dropped me off at the airport and told me to have fun, and not drink too much that i wouldnt remember anything (which is what happened the firat time i showed her debbie lol). i checked my bag in and headed to the departure lounge, skidding to a halt as i passed the jewelery store, and immediately buying a pair of crystal stud earrings (i recently had my ears pierced). i was incredibly nervous still and kinda drifted towards the bar..where i had a little vodka for breakfast (!) and proceeded to get in tow with a group of girls heading south for a hen night. we had a good laugh and were very merry by the time we got on the plane. i had a seat to myself (yay) and it was only a short flight 55 minutes so everything was great. i thought id put on my earrings on the plane (first time without a mirror handy) and kinda made blood appear on my left ear (stewardesss can i have a napkin?), but eventually got them in.   Touchdown in Luton, and i am met by faye who gets the first of many Hugs! we chat and drive to Milton Keynes catching up on all the gossip and arrive in the carpark of the hotel where the delicious Monique is waiting. She gets the big hug i promised her and we all checkn in to the hotel. Monique has booked a makeover/shoot at Stylemequirky also and kindly drives us down to london to meet the team.   im not going to describe the makeover session here, in fact it needs a whole blog of its own!(and im going to write one) but suffice to say, the StylemeQuirky team are simply amazing professional, kind, funny, beautiful. i walked in with my head down feeling very self conscious..and i walked out with my head held high, full of confidence (remember this was my first time out of the house!) feeling like a beautiful woman. my experience at Stylemequirky set me up for the whole weekend and i cannot sing their praises enough (thank you!!!!!xxx)   we got back to the hotel en femme (wow!) and even though it was around 2:30 in the morning, i was persuaded to get changed and go to the club ...ok ok..it was MY idea to do that because i didnt want to miss a single minute of bein a girl. and i knew it was the right decision when i saw Faye and Monique all glammed up! the feeling of stepping out in the sexy dress id bought was breathtaking..all the things you hear about, the click of the heels on the pavement, the waft of perfume, the breeze on your legs and the way your dress moves..the walk to the club was tooo short! lol. i moved with confidence thanks to my makeover and faye told me later she had to keep reminding herself that this was my first time out because i was so feminine (thank you hunni x). we arrived at the club and were met by the doormen..;"good evening ladies!"  WOW! my heart raced and i had the biggest smile on my face!!     to be continued!!    
    1752 Posted by Debbie Davies
  • By Debbie Davies
    First Time out - part One!
    Its monday morning, im off work today, im cleaning the house and doing laundry.when i pick up an item out of the hamper, my eyes fill up. this isnt the gypsy skirt that has lain in the wardrobe out of sight for so long..its the skirt i wore walking in london surrounded by my friends, with me feeling on top of the world. this Dress was the one i wore buying eyelashes in the pharmacy in a large shopping precinct. and this dress was the one i wore when we went out clubbing. no longer do these clothes feel "secret" or "wrong" but now they remind me of the most beautiful enjoyable time ive ever had as Debbie.   It all started when i joined the GS site, like so many others i had come looking for support, answers,and the rest. my head was a mess, my wife was frantic and i felt like i was staring into the abyss. i joined the chatroom and lay in the shadows for a few sessions, reading, listening and gradually being drawn into conversations. Carol Steel was the first to metaphorically hold my hand and we had many talks about my issues. as the weeks passed, my conversations with my wife grew less "weird" as we both tried to come to terms with the whole situation. She wanted to know everything i felt, why i did it, how i wanted to go forward..even at this early stage i had told her that i wanted to go out (but not local) and meet other girls like me. Im glad to say that she didnt dismiss the notion.   i met Faye in the chatroom and right away, we hit it off. we had the same sense of humour, we had similar problems, and i knew i had found a real friend. being in the chatroom everynight was such a laugh and a real help to me. the idea of a night out was mooted and after a while we decided to set a date for Feb 24th. Faye set up a forum topic to invite any GS members who fancied it. swoon afterwards met Jaquie and Monique,two other chatroom regulars who soon became great friends, and was delighted when they said they would be coming with us.! as the date approched Vikki K who is a sheer delight with a fantastic sense of humour made up the last part of the group, the famous five (or as Vikki said..the worst spice girls tribute act ever lol ).   I noticed a competition to win a makeover and photoshoot on the GS site and had the great fortune to win! after speaking to pops at stylemequirky,http://stylemequirky.com/transgender-dressing-service/ he kindly agreed to do me on the friday i was arriving. (more about stylemequirky later and in a new blog!)   the venue we decided on was a trans friendly club in Milton keynes called pink Punters http://www.pinkpunters.com/ and the Campanile hotel which is literally across the road from pink punters. both were what i'd call "safe environments" and perfect for any girls first time out.   as the time grew nearer, i grew more nervous i was physically sick on the morning of departure, thoughts of what could go wrong bouncing around my head. my wife dropped me off at the airport and told me to have fun, and not drink too much that i wouldnt remember anything (which is what happened the firat time i showed her debbie lol). i checked my bag in and headed to the departure lounge, skidding to a halt as i passed the jewelery store, and immediately buying a pair of crystal stud earrings (i recently had my ears pierced). i was incredibly nervous still and kinda drifted towards the bar..where i had a little vodka for breakfast (!) and proceeded to get in tow with a group of girls heading south for a hen night. we had a good laugh and were very merry by the time we got on the plane. i had a seat to myself (yay) and it was only a short flight 55 minutes so everything was great. i thought id put on my earrings on the plane (first time without a mirror handy) and kinda made blood appear on my left ear (stewardesss can i have a napkin?), but eventually got them in.   Touchdown in Luton, and i am met by faye who gets the first of many Hugs! we chat and drive to Milton Keynes catching up on all the gossip and arrive in the carpark of the hotel where the delicious Monique is waiting. She gets the big hug i promised her and we all checkn in to the hotel. Monique has booked a makeover/shoot at Stylemequirky also and kindly drives us down to london to meet the team.   im not going to describe the makeover session here, in fact it needs a whole blog of its own!(and im going to write one) but suffice to say, the StylemeQuirky team are simply amazing professional, kind, funny, beautiful. i walked in with my head down feeling very self conscious..and i walked out with my head held high, full of confidence (remember this was my first time out of the house!) feeling like a beautiful woman. my experience at Stylemequirky set me up for the whole weekend and i cannot sing their praises enough (thank you!!!!!xxx)   we got back to the hotel en femme (wow!) and even though it was around 2:30 in the morning, i was persuaded to get changed and go to the club ...ok ok..it was MY idea to do that because i didnt want to miss a single minute of bein a girl. and i knew it was the right decision when i saw Faye and Monique all glammed up! the feeling of stepping out in the sexy dress id bought was breathtaking..all the things you hear about, the click of the heels on the pavement, the waft of perfume, the breeze on your legs and the way your dress moves..the walk to the club was tooo short! lol. i moved with confidence thanks to my makeover and faye told me later she had to keep reminding herself that this was my first time out because i was so feminine (thank you hunni x). we arrived at the club and were met by the doormen..;"good evening ladies!"  WOW! my heart raced and i had the biggest smile on my face!!     to be continued!!    
    Feb 27, 2012 1752
  • 02 Aug 2011
    Whirlwind
    I don't know what's happened these last few weeks. It's quite possibly been the best month of my life. When is it all going to come crashing down upon me? It surely can't keep up like this... My bezzie mate Gillian has been off work for 3 weeks, so we've spent a lot of time together as my band have also been off due to various members' holidays. But it all seemed to start while watching Glastonbury on the telly... I've been to Glastonbury two years in row, over 20 years ago, but I know what it's like; I understand the atmosphere, the vibe, man. It really is wonderful. So although it's no big deal watching it on the telly these days, it brings back how special it is, it touches a place in my heart, lets me feel the magic again. It's so huge now, in fact this was true even when I was there, that no-one can see everything that goes on, and the TV coverage doesn't even come close to the experience of actually being there. Even still, to see the big acts playing probably the best gig of their lives is really exciting for me, somehow I know, to a tiny extent, how special it is for them; I empathise, and I love it. I haven't seen a whole set from U2 since Live Aid, and that of course was only a short set. Bono apparently was a little reluctant to do Glastonbury, he shouldn't have worried, they might not all be U2 fans but the Glastonbury audience love the headliners, and U2 are actually quite famous. Their set was great. I've heard some people were critical; what the hell did they want? What did they expect? This was a lesson in rock and roll, this is how it's done. This was one of the biggest bands in the world playing to almost certainly the best audience in the world, and they did what they do with aplomb. The Edge has the best job in rock music, if I was a guitarist I'd like to be him. I'm not a massive U2 fan mind, I just think if you want to play rock and appeal to the masses then that's how to do it, and they do have some mega, smash hit, brilliant songs. So that was good. But the next night Coldplay were to headline... Now I do love Coldplay. Their song-writing is sublime. I was gigging this night though, so disappointed to be missing the set which was to be shown live on the BBC. We were doing a wedding in Kendal, practically round the corner from my house. I packed away quickly after the gig hoping to catch a few snippets of the day at Glastonbury as I took off my make-up, waiting for my ears to stop ringing. I couldn't believe my luck when I turned the telly on about 3 seconds into the repeat of the Coldplay set, the whole lot! Fireworks, lasers, oh so many lasers, and a new, unreleased song to open with, which grabbed me by the ears in a way that unknown songs rarely do. "Hurts like Heaven" - fast, energetic, melodic. These guys can really write a good song, what an opener. So of course I had stay up and watch the whole set, perched on the edge of my bed, smiling my head off, one of my favourite bands, about the third time they've done Glastonbury, but this time they pulled out all the stops. This time, this tour, they have really got it sussed. How to win an audience over. U2 were great, Coldplay were awesome. The Coldplay set was on telly again the next day. I watched it again. Then I found it on BBC i-player, linked up my computer to my stereo downstairs, turned it up bloody loud and watched it again, and again, and again in the background while I was cooking my dinner that evening. And several times over the next few days... Wonderful. Best gig ever. With Coldplay still ringing in my ears, Gillian picked up me and Laura a few days later and we headed off to Manchester to see Roger Waters doing The Wall live in Manchester. Now you've all read about that haven't you, so no need to go into that. I said on the way down that I hoped this gig would get all those Coldplay songs out of my head. It did, and I found myself now singing Pink Floyd songs in my head for the next week. Best gig ever... Although it's not exactly been wall to wall sunshine throughout July we have had several nice hot days up here, so Gilly and I made the most of them. Picnics and barbecues, a few meals out, some gentle walking around The Lake District, skinny dipping underneath waterfalls; all good for the soul. A week after The Wall though, we flew to Switzerland to see one gig at the Montreux festival. Never been to Switzerland before so that was a treat, it's lovely. The gig was my musical hero - Andreas Vollenweider's 30 anniversary concert, his first major gig having also been at Montreux, the gig that really got his career going. I saw him a couple of years ago in Germany, my first time, it was magical, but I've loved his music for around 27 years. This gig was quite different, a much bigger band with several special guests, and once again absolutely awesome. He is the most beautiful player, a truly skilled musician who can play just about every instrument ever invented like a virtuoso, but he is most famous for playing the harp. His music is unique and wonderful, I love him, and to see him again at this special concert was truly a privilege, a blessing. The weather in Switzerland was scorching, and the view around Montreux is spectacular. We swam in Lake Geneva, just so we could say we had, so there I said it! It was a flying visit, but just super fun. The day after the gig we flew back to Manchester, but didn't head up the M6 back to Kendal, oh no, for it was Friday, the first day of the Sparkle weekend... So having flown in from Geneva for Sparkle, what jet-setters we are, we booked into our hotel, quickly tidied ourselves up, ate out at our favourite Thai restaurant, and tottered off towards the Village. We stayed out later than intended, of course, and eventually fell into our beds completely exhausted. Long day. The next day I spoke to Anna-Marie at the park, and met Jane (Janey Woo) and her better half that evening. Thought there might be more GS girls around but I guessed we missed them. A week and a bit after Sparkle was the now legendary Staveley Beer Festival, it's only been going 3 years but is attracting huge numbers already. Staveley is a tiny place, but this event is becoming some sort of "Village Glastonbury". We played it last year with another top local band, but the manager decided just to have one band on per evening this year and asked us to headline the gig on the Saturday, which was quite flattering as the other band last year, good friends and ex-colleagues of mine, have been going a lot longer than us, at least since I joined the band that is. We are also attracting a big following now, and interest has snowballed since the Staveley gig this year. I've posted a couple of videos of the gig, they are better than usual quality, most of our vid's having been taken by fans on their phones, but you still don't get the real feel of one of our gigs, the sound, the audience atmosphere. We had well over a thousand people jumping up and down together in the last set, going bonkers. It's an awesome sight from where we stand. I looked out and thought, these people are having a great time, and I'm one fifth of what's doing it for them. Great feeling, best gig ever... The day after the Beer festival was the Windermere air show. I didn't go, I needed to rest after such a gig (free beer too!) Gillian, who had been our taxi service for the night (Mum and Laura came too) had stayed over, the weather was once again glorious, so we decided just to chill out in my garden. Both of us being sun-worshipers, there we were sitting naked in the garden, sipping a rather special Champagne (Orpale Grand Cru 1998) and eating salad and nibbles, so relaxed, so happy... As Gillian was back at work the next day I remarked what a super end this was to such a great month, it really had been fantastic. She agreed, we chinked our glasses, and right on cue the Red Arrows swooped in right above my house, turning towards Windermere in perfect formation - a sideways W with a V at the front. I couldn't believe it! I screamed with delight, "Whooo!" Our own private fly-by. "Thank you!" I shouted, waving madly. We fell about. Who had arranged this for us? How did they time it so well!? Thank you to whoever, the Goddess, destiny, just plain luck... Remarkable. Best fly-by ever. The following week the band were back at the big music pub in town, another stonker, packed out, more numbers added to our growing fan club. And the day after that a wedding in the most stunning setting, big posh house, cracking view, lovely summer evening in an open-sided marquee on their giant veranda. We don't half do some amazing gigs, so lucky to live in this part of the world and be asked to do events like this. I feel blessed. I feel lucky, and so happy. My heart goes out to all those I see here who are obviously being torn apart with frustration, as I once was. But life is what you make it. You have to stop telling yourself that it's family, your job, your friends, or what people will think of you that prevent you from coming out of the closet, getting on with your own life and finding true contentment. I know that won't go down well with some, and I can already hear people leaping to their own defence. But that's just it, it's a defence. My life has been quite ordinary since I've been post-op (you can read about it in this month's Frock), but this month I have grabbed life by the scuff of the neck and taken control, done what I want to do, and loved every minute. OK, maybe the Red Arrows fly-by was just plain luck, and the truth is I don't believe in any superior being, but you know, it really felt that someone somewhere was trying to tell me something. To paraphrase a scene from Fawlty Towers: (Cue Red Arrows) Whooosh! What was that? That was your life mate. That was quick, do I get another one? Who knows, maybe next month..? xx Montreux Festival Lake Geneva Sea Bass with a saffron white wine reduction My secret place Wedding of the year Water Nymph                                
    5125 Posted by Lucy Diamond
  • By Lucy Diamond
    Whirlwind
    I don't know what's happened these last few weeks. It's quite possibly been the best month of my life. When is it all going to come crashing down upon me? It surely can't keep up like this... My bezzie mate Gillian has been off work for 3 weeks, so we've spent a lot of time together as my band have also been off due to various members' holidays. But it all seemed to start while watching Glastonbury on the telly... I've been to Glastonbury two years in row, over 20 years ago, but I know what it's like; I understand the atmosphere, the vibe, man. It really is wonderful. So although it's no big deal watching it on the telly these days, it brings back how special it is, it touches a place in my heart, lets me feel the magic again. It's so huge now, in fact this was true even when I was there, that no-one can see everything that goes on, and the TV coverage doesn't even come close to the experience of actually being there. Even still, to see the big acts playing probably the best gig of their lives is really exciting for me, somehow I know, to a tiny extent, how special it is for them; I empathise, and I love it. I haven't seen a whole set from U2 since Live Aid, and that of course was only a short set. Bono apparently was a little reluctant to do Glastonbury, he shouldn't have worried, they might not all be U2 fans but the Glastonbury audience love the headliners, and U2 are actually quite famous. Their set was great. I've heard some people were critical; what the hell did they want? What did they expect? This was a lesson in rock and roll, this is how it's done. This was one of the biggest bands in the world playing to almost certainly the best audience in the world, and they did what they do with aplomb. The Edge has the best job in rock music, if I was a guitarist I'd like to be him. I'm not a massive U2 fan mind, I just think if you want to play rock and appeal to the masses then that's how to do it, and they do have some mega, smash hit, brilliant songs. So that was good. But the next night Coldplay were to headline... Now I do love Coldplay. Their song-writing is sublime. I was gigging this night though, so disappointed to be missing the set which was to be shown live on the BBC. We were doing a wedding in Kendal, practically round the corner from my house. I packed away quickly after the gig hoping to catch a few snippets of the day at Glastonbury as I took off my make-up, waiting for my ears to stop ringing. I couldn't believe my luck when I turned the telly on about 3 seconds into the repeat of the Coldplay set, the whole lot! Fireworks, lasers, oh so many lasers, and a new, unreleased song to open with, which grabbed me by the ears in a way that unknown songs rarely do. "Hurts like Heaven" - fast, energetic, melodic. These guys can really write a good song, what an opener. So of course I had stay up and watch the whole set, perched on the edge of my bed, smiling my head off, one of my favourite bands, about the third time they've done Glastonbury, but this time they pulled out all the stops. This time, this tour, they have really got it sussed. How to win an audience over. U2 were great, Coldplay were awesome. The Coldplay set was on telly again the next day. I watched it again. Then I found it on BBC i-player, linked up my computer to my stereo downstairs, turned it up bloody loud and watched it again, and again, and again in the background while I was cooking my dinner that evening. And several times over the next few days... Wonderful. Best gig ever. With Coldplay still ringing in my ears, Gillian picked up me and Laura a few days later and we headed off to Manchester to see Roger Waters doing The Wall live in Manchester. Now you've all read about that haven't you, so no need to go into that. I said on the way down that I hoped this gig would get all those Coldplay songs out of my head. It did, and I found myself now singing Pink Floyd songs in my head for the next week. Best gig ever... Although it's not exactly been wall to wall sunshine throughout July we have had several nice hot days up here, so Gilly and I made the most of them. Picnics and barbecues, a few meals out, some gentle walking around The Lake District, skinny dipping underneath waterfalls; all good for the soul. A week after The Wall though, we flew to Switzerland to see one gig at the Montreux festival. Never been to Switzerland before so that was a treat, it's lovely. The gig was my musical hero - Andreas Vollenweider's 30 anniversary concert, his first major gig having also been at Montreux, the gig that really got his career going. I saw him a couple of years ago in Germany, my first time, it was magical, but I've loved his music for around 27 years. This gig was quite different, a much bigger band with several special guests, and once again absolutely awesome. He is the most beautiful player, a truly skilled musician who can play just about every instrument ever invented like a virtuoso, but he is most famous for playing the harp. His music is unique and wonderful, I love him, and to see him again at this special concert was truly a privilege, a blessing. The weather in Switzerland was scorching, and the view around Montreux is spectacular. We swam in Lake Geneva, just so we could say we had, so there I said it! It was a flying visit, but just super fun. The day after the gig we flew back to Manchester, but didn't head up the M6 back to Kendal, oh no, for it was Friday, the first day of the Sparkle weekend... So having flown in from Geneva for Sparkle, what jet-setters we are, we booked into our hotel, quickly tidied ourselves up, ate out at our favourite Thai restaurant, and tottered off towards the Village. We stayed out later than intended, of course, and eventually fell into our beds completely exhausted. Long day. The next day I spoke to Anna-Marie at the park, and met Jane (Janey Woo) and her better half that evening. Thought there might be more GS girls around but I guessed we missed them. A week and a bit after Sparkle was the now legendary Staveley Beer Festival, it's only been going 3 years but is attracting huge numbers already. Staveley is a tiny place, but this event is becoming some sort of "Village Glastonbury". We played it last year with another top local band, but the manager decided just to have one band on per evening this year and asked us to headline the gig on the Saturday, which was quite flattering as the other band last year, good friends and ex-colleagues of mine, have been going a lot longer than us, at least since I joined the band that is. We are also attracting a big following now, and interest has snowballed since the Staveley gig this year. I've posted a couple of videos of the gig, they are better than usual quality, most of our vid's having been taken by fans on their phones, but you still don't get the real feel of one of our gigs, the sound, the audience atmosphere. We had well over a thousand people jumping up and down together in the last set, going bonkers. It's an awesome sight from where we stand. I looked out and thought, these people are having a great time, and I'm one fifth of what's doing it for them. Great feeling, best gig ever... The day after the Beer festival was the Windermere air show. I didn't go, I needed to rest after such a gig (free beer too!) Gillian, who had been our taxi service for the night (Mum and Laura came too) had stayed over, the weather was once again glorious, so we decided just to chill out in my garden. Both of us being sun-worshipers, there we were sitting naked in the garden, sipping a rather special Champagne (Orpale Grand Cru 1998) and eating salad and nibbles, so relaxed, so happy... As Gillian was back at work the next day I remarked what a super end this was to such a great month, it really had been fantastic. She agreed, we chinked our glasses, and right on cue the Red Arrows swooped in right above my house, turning towards Windermere in perfect formation - a sideways W with a V at the front. I couldn't believe it! I screamed with delight, "Whooo!" Our own private fly-by. "Thank you!" I shouted, waving madly. We fell about. Who had arranged this for us? How did they time it so well!? Thank you to whoever, the Goddess, destiny, just plain luck... Remarkable. Best fly-by ever. The following week the band were back at the big music pub in town, another stonker, packed out, more numbers added to our growing fan club. And the day after that a wedding in the most stunning setting, big posh house, cracking view, lovely summer evening in an open-sided marquee on their giant veranda. We don't half do some amazing gigs, so lucky to live in this part of the world and be asked to do events like this. I feel blessed. I feel lucky, and so happy. My heart goes out to all those I see here who are obviously being torn apart with frustration, as I once was. But life is what you make it. You have to stop telling yourself that it's family, your job, your friends, or what people will think of you that prevent you from coming out of the closet, getting on with your own life and finding true contentment. I know that won't go down well with some, and I can already hear people leaping to their own defence. But that's just it, it's a defence. My life has been quite ordinary since I've been post-op (you can read about it in this month's Frock), but this month I have grabbed life by the scuff of the neck and taken control, done what I want to do, and loved every minute. OK, maybe the Red Arrows fly-by was just plain luck, and the truth is I don't believe in any superior being, but you know, it really felt that someone somewhere was trying to tell me something. To paraphrase a scene from Fawlty Towers: (Cue Red Arrows) Whooosh! What was that? That was your life mate. That was quick, do I get another one? Who knows, maybe next month..? xx Montreux Festival Lake Geneva Sea Bass with a saffron white wine reduction My secret place Wedding of the year Water Nymph                                
    Aug 02, 2011 5125
  • 30 Jul 2016
    In (Social) Media Res(pect)
    This week, one of our members, Kristelle Watkins, launched her new Youtube channel. I strongly urge you to take a look - the first of her videos can be found here:   When I first joined the Gender Society (or Trannyweb as it was then), one of our members, Marsha, strongly expressed her opinion that everyone in our community had a responsibility to be out and visible, because that was the only way that transphobia in the general population could be overcome. I didn't fully agree with this then, arguing that education and social policy were the key drivers to acceptance. We had some spirited debate on the subject, before agreeing to disagree.   I miss Marsha.   Anyway, in the years since then I've come to agree that visibility has a greater effect on how trans people are accepted, and this was reinforced by a study published earlier this year. The researchers found that transphobic prejudice could be significantly reduced by interviews in which cisgender people were invited to find experiences which they had in common with transgender people. The reduction in prejudice was long-lasting, and was even more effective when the person carrying out the interview was trans. You can read more about the study here:   In the light of this realization, I try to interact with people wherever I can to bring them into contact with a real, live transperson, and these interactions have been overwhelmingly positive. I'm out at work, and the hundred or so people in my office have all been supportive and accepting. I've delivered presentations to senior managers throughout my organisation, and once again the feedback has been nothing but positive. However, in all I may have spoken with three or four hundred people. Add in the general population of my home town, and I may have had the opportunity to represent an authentic, transgender life to a thousand or so people.   Which brings me back to Kristelle's channel. Social media have found their way into every aspect of modern life, to the point where many people no longer differentiate between people they 'know' from Facebook and the people they know from work. There's a transwoman named Danni Munro who posts videos to Youtube which are viewed by five thousand or more people. Another trans channel, hosted by a transwoman named Maya, has viewing numbers close to three million. That's three million people who have chosen to hear what an openly transgender person has to say about her life and experiences.   I'm now firmly of the opinion that social media will be where trans acceptance finally makes the progress that we've seen in the arena of sexual orientation. We all have our part to play in letting the people around us see that we all have much more in common than we have differences, but it'll be the media-savvy young people with their fearless and authentic communications that will deliver the cultural paradigm shift that's so long overdue.   So to Kristelle I say"You go, girl, and my sincere thanks for what you're doing for our community". To everyone else, "Watch, subscribe and like. The future starts here".   Hugs to all,   Judith xx  
    827 Posted by Judith Harmon
  • By Judith Harmon
    In (Social) Media Res(pect)
    This week, one of our members, Kristelle Watkins, launched her new Youtube channel. I strongly urge you to take a look - the first of her videos can be found here:   When I first joined the Gender Society (or Trannyweb as it was then), one of our members, Marsha, strongly expressed her opinion that everyone in our community had a responsibility to be out and visible, because that was the only way that transphobia in the general population could be overcome. I didn't fully agree with this then, arguing that education and social policy were the key drivers to acceptance. We had some spirited debate on the subject, before agreeing to disagree.   I miss Marsha.   Anyway, in the years since then I've come to agree that visibility has a greater effect on how trans people are accepted, and this was reinforced by a study published earlier this year. The researchers found that transphobic prejudice could be significantly reduced by interviews in which cisgender people were invited to find experiences which they had in common with transgender people. The reduction in prejudice was long-lasting, and was even more effective when the person carrying out the interview was trans. You can read more about the study here:   In the light of this realization, I try to interact with people wherever I can to bring them into contact with a real, live transperson, and these interactions have been overwhelmingly positive. I'm out at work, and the hundred or so people in my office have all been supportive and accepting. I've delivered presentations to senior managers throughout my organisation, and once again the feedback has been nothing but positive. However, in all I may have spoken with three or four hundred people. Add in the general population of my home town, and I may have had the opportunity to represent an authentic, transgender life to a thousand or so people.   Which brings me back to Kristelle's channel. Social media have found their way into every aspect of modern life, to the point where many people no longer differentiate between people they 'know' from Facebook and the people they know from work. There's a transwoman named Danni Munro who posts videos to Youtube which are viewed by five thousand or more people. Another trans channel, hosted by a transwoman named Maya, has viewing numbers close to three million. That's three million people who have chosen to hear what an openly transgender person has to say about her life and experiences.   I'm now firmly of the opinion that social media will be where trans acceptance finally makes the progress that we've seen in the arena of sexual orientation. We all have our part to play in letting the people around us see that we all have much more in common than we have differences, but it'll be the media-savvy young people with their fearless and authentic communications that will deliver the cultural paradigm shift that's so long overdue.   So to Kristelle I say"You go, girl, and my sincere thanks for what you're doing for our community". To everyone else, "Watch, subscribe and like. The future starts here".   Hugs to all,   Judith xx  
    Jul 30, 2016 827
  • 05 Apr 2014
    From the "Have you ever Observed" Dept.???
    Ever been in traffic that crawls around a Mall or shopping center parking lot, or any cross walk for that matter?  I'm out daily doing grocery shopping or running errands and pretty much always am presenting female...funny things I have noticed while stuck in the usual mass of cars and people coming and going and maybe you've noticed the same things????OK...when presenting andro or male, when guys cross the street or from their cars to the store front, they usually just walk their guy walk and dilly dally in their efforts.BUT, when femme, I notice guys noticing me and they generally take two "forms" while crossing.The first is "The Sprinter"!!!!  This is the guy who pulls up his jeans and moves into track man mode and pumps his arms and darts across the road as if to say to me, "yeah, I'm a physical specimen worth your time"...it's usually a guy past 40 or so who probably only has moved like that in the past decade or two to hit the bathroom quickly when his bloated belly tells him "it's time" and he's like 400 yards from the nearest toilet!  LOL  I always smile and acknowledge them for they are trying soooo hard!  I just love his hustle!!!! (smile)The second is "The Hulk"!!!!!  This is the guy who has alligator arms, a tummy bearing triplets, and usually has his shirt sleeves rolled up or cut off at the shoulder muscles.  He will usually look over, puff out his chest, pull those 'gator arms back, and strut like a wet rooster across the front of your car in a pace often described as "slow".  He is preening for you and wants you to know he "still has it and maybe you ought to find out"!  I usually give them a sarcastic smirk that can best be described as a condescending, beee-atch stare that can ice a pot of boiling water!  Oh, the hurt and disappointment they exhibit when they see my lack of lust!  (grin)  I would rather pluck my nose hairs out with a fish hook that ever be in the same air space as them!  (smile)How about any of you????  Ever run across these guys?  If not, put on some lipstick, brush your hair, and drive to the nearest Wal-mart...I swear the store stocks these two types of men!  (smile)  Traci xoxo
    1183 Posted by Traci Lee O'Gara
  • By Traci Lee O'Gara
    From the "Have you ever Observed" Dept.???
    Ever been in traffic that crawls around a Mall or shopping center parking lot, or any cross walk for that matter?  I'm out daily doing grocery shopping or running errands and pretty much always am presenting female...funny things I have noticed while stuck in the usual mass of cars and people coming and going and maybe you've noticed the same things????OK...when presenting andro or male, when guys cross the street or from their cars to the store front, they usually just walk their guy walk and dilly dally in their efforts.BUT, when femme, I notice guys noticing me and they generally take two "forms" while crossing.The first is "The Sprinter"!!!!  This is the guy who pulls up his jeans and moves into track man mode and pumps his arms and darts across the road as if to say to me, "yeah, I'm a physical specimen worth your time"...it's usually a guy past 40 or so who probably only has moved like that in the past decade or two to hit the bathroom quickly when his bloated belly tells him "it's time" and he's like 400 yards from the nearest toilet!  LOL  I always smile and acknowledge them for they are trying soooo hard!  I just love his hustle!!!! (smile)The second is "The Hulk"!!!!!  This is the guy who has alligator arms, a tummy bearing triplets, and usually has his shirt sleeves rolled up or cut off at the shoulder muscles.  He will usually look over, puff out his chest, pull those 'gator arms back, and strut like a wet rooster across the front of your car in a pace often described as "slow".  He is preening for you and wants you to know he "still has it and maybe you ought to find out"!  I usually give them a sarcastic smirk that can best be described as a condescending, beee-atch stare that can ice a pot of boiling water!  Oh, the hurt and disappointment they exhibit when they see my lack of lust!  (grin)  I would rather pluck my nose hairs out with a fish hook that ever be in the same air space as them!  (smile)How about any of you????  Ever run across these guys?  If not, put on some lipstick, brush your hair, and drive to the nearest Wal-mart...I swear the store stocks these two types of men!  (smile)  Traci xoxo
    Apr 05, 2014 1183
  • 11 Apr 2012
    Coming out!
    Hi all,   As some of you may have noticed the past few days, maybe even weeks my mental state has been shaky and my emotions have been a rollercoaster ride from hell. I have been trying to work out exactly what has me affected so severely, with deciding to leave my work place by taking voluntary redundancy at the top of my list i thought it may hve been that but it didn't seem to satisfy me as being the culprit of my mental state, not being able to cope i resorted to drink last thursday.... half a bottle of jack daniels later i was happy (for a while). The next day i had the house to myself and most of the weekend, this ment some Tia time (yaaaaaaaaaaay) however i had been dared to push my boundaries and take my first steps out into the world in a dress or skirt that night, which to me was a huge deal so i spent the entire day worrying about that and i must admit i almost decided against going through with it, but some of you girls persuaded me to go :) and so i did and what a buzz i got from it, i was on cloud 9 for the rest of the night and the following two days. Monday came and i had calmed down somewhat but was fine until i decided to put a slideshow of my pics together for the only person outside of GS that knows about me, i chose to play a background song with the slideshow i had created, the song i chose was Cyndi Lauper's "True Colors" when i played the slideshow back with this song something just hit me like a truck! i couldn't hold back the tears and my happiness had just hit an all time low, the next day at work people kept asking me what was wrong but obviously i couldn't answer them even if i knew myself, and the more i was asked the worse it got so i had to distance myself just to get through the day. Finally i remembered that i had watched a youtube video quite a long time ago of a girl's (m2f) transition over the years and she had chose the same song, from her video you could see how she went from strength to strength culminating in so many happy pictures of herself and she was absolutely stunning, the pictures and song choice just emphasised each other perfectly, i remembered how happy i was for her and at the same time how jealous i was, also i have seen many of you making giant leaps forward and passing me by..... again i am so happy for you girls yet so jealous which leads me to today and my decision headlining this blog.   Today i have decided to fully come out to my parents, i am going to write a letter detailing everything about me and my situation as i find this will be the easiest way for both me and my parents. I made this choice purely on the fact that i cannot possibly continue the way i am, i have all of you on here for support and my friend in America but with no dissrespect to any of you or my friend! that alone is not enough for me anymore. I need to be me, i need to be Tia and i can't cope anymore being confined to my bedroom, alone..... i can no longer cope with hiding from society and myself, but i need the support of my family for my own sake.   Tia xxx
    1466 Posted by Tracey Millington
  • By Tracey Millington
    Coming out!
    Hi all,   As some of you may have noticed the past few days, maybe even weeks my mental state has been shaky and my emotions have been a rollercoaster ride from hell. I have been trying to work out exactly what has me affected so severely, with deciding to leave my work place by taking voluntary redundancy at the top of my list i thought it may hve been that but it didn't seem to satisfy me as being the culprit of my mental state, not being able to cope i resorted to drink last thursday.... half a bottle of jack daniels later i was happy (for a while). The next day i had the house to myself and most of the weekend, this ment some Tia time (yaaaaaaaaaaay) however i had been dared to push my boundaries and take my first steps out into the world in a dress or skirt that night, which to me was a huge deal so i spent the entire day worrying about that and i must admit i almost decided against going through with it, but some of you girls persuaded me to go :) and so i did and what a buzz i got from it, i was on cloud 9 for the rest of the night and the following two days. Monday came and i had calmed down somewhat but was fine until i decided to put a slideshow of my pics together for the only person outside of GS that knows about me, i chose to play a background song with the slideshow i had created, the song i chose was Cyndi Lauper's "True Colors" when i played the slideshow back with this song something just hit me like a truck! i couldn't hold back the tears and my happiness had just hit an all time low, the next day at work people kept asking me what was wrong but obviously i couldn't answer them even if i knew myself, and the more i was asked the worse it got so i had to distance myself just to get through the day. Finally i remembered that i had watched a youtube video quite a long time ago of a girl's (m2f) transition over the years and she had chose the same song, from her video you could see how she went from strength to strength culminating in so many happy pictures of herself and she was absolutely stunning, the pictures and song choice just emphasised each other perfectly, i remembered how happy i was for her and at the same time how jealous i was, also i have seen many of you making giant leaps forward and passing me by..... again i am so happy for you girls yet so jealous which leads me to today and my decision headlining this blog.   Today i have decided to fully come out to my parents, i am going to write a letter detailing everything about me and my situation as i find this will be the easiest way for both me and my parents. I made this choice purely on the fact that i cannot possibly continue the way i am, i have all of you on here for support and my friend in America but with no dissrespect to any of you or my friend! that alone is not enough for me anymore. I need to be me, i need to be Tia and i can't cope anymore being confined to my bedroom, alone..... i can no longer cope with hiding from society and myself, but i need the support of my family for my own sake.   Tia xxx
    Apr 11, 2012 1466
  • 16 Mar 2012
    I May Disappear
    The reality is that I may soon be making a move that will leave me without Internet access for months or even years.  If it occurs I will be living in a remote area of the US.  Most of my socialization is on the Internet and has been for years.  Most of my friends are here.  If I can afford it, I will have limited Internet access by satellite dish.  No more online games, HULU or SKYPE.  In addition this limited bandwidth would be expensive and would take some months to be able to afford.  Any work would be 1-2 hrs away, each way, if I could get it.  climatic conditions would be brutal, at times, for commuting.  Think Iraq, Saudi Arabia.   I WILL come back.  I am hoping in a couple months.   I may have to move quickly and so I want you to know I am ok if I disappear.   This is a good move for me in all other ways.  I will be able to be myself, actively encouraged, living with Sundance once again.  I will not be having to surpress my true self with a front.  It will help me dig deeper into who I am without constraints from society keeping Wendy partially buried most of the time.  I love the outdoors and this will be a peaceful setting.  No neighbors for miles.  Unfortunately, lol, no stores for miles, no mail delivery, perhaps no phone service or utilities connections.  It should be a lot of fun.  Perhaps I can hit an internet connection when I "go to town".   Worry not, some of my dreams are coming true.  Unfortunately I must pay a price for the good.  I will miss you all if/while I am gone.   -Hugs, Wendy.
    1109 Posted by wendy larsen
  • By wendy larsen
    I May Disappear
    The reality is that I may soon be making a move that will leave me without Internet access for months or even years.  If it occurs I will be living in a remote area of the US.  Most of my socialization is on the Internet and has been for years.  Most of my friends are here.  If I can afford it, I will have limited Internet access by satellite dish.  No more online games, HULU or SKYPE.  In addition this limited bandwidth would be expensive and would take some months to be able to afford.  Any work would be 1-2 hrs away, each way, if I could get it.  climatic conditions would be brutal, at times, for commuting.  Think Iraq, Saudi Arabia.   I WILL come back.  I am hoping in a couple months.   I may have to move quickly and so I want you to know I am ok if I disappear.   This is a good move for me in all other ways.  I will be able to be myself, actively encouraged, living with Sundance once again.  I will not be having to surpress my true self with a front.  It will help me dig deeper into who I am without constraints from society keeping Wendy partially buried most of the time.  I love the outdoors and this will be a peaceful setting.  No neighbors for miles.  Unfortunately, lol, no stores for miles, no mail delivery, perhaps no phone service or utilities connections.  It should be a lot of fun.  Perhaps I can hit an internet connection when I "go to town".   Worry not, some of my dreams are coming true.  Unfortunately I must pay a price for the good.  I will miss you all if/while I am gone.   -Hugs, Wendy.
    Mar 16, 2012 1109