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  • 08 Aug 2023
    Nearly three months since I last posted. What happened? Living a life in the shadows became too much for Ariane to bear, and for a range of internal and psychological reasons she disappeared off to the realm of the imagination. Unfortunately her wardrobe disappeared also. That turned out to be an expensive mistake. Life was quieter for a while and also less interesting.Then I realised (again) that I can’t run away from who I am. I was moving in new circles and came across some rainbow ambassadors (or allies as I think they call themselves now). Inevitably I came out to them and introduced them to Ariane. This was the excuse, if I needed an excuse, to indulge in some retail therapy. Ariane has been shopping for England. The theme is black once more, with heels and pearls. I hope there will be some pictures soon.Unfortunately I then fell out with the rainbow types, for reasons unrelated to Ariane. I was quite down for a couple of days. Then I thought, I’ve never been good at doing my own make-up, now is the time to get better at it. So last week I went into my local MAC store (I chose MAC because of their trans-friendly reputation) and I said, I’m identifying as trans, I need some products, I need to know how to apply them, can you help me? They were very kind and booked me in for a lesson, which took place yesterday. This was on the shop-floor rather than a private room, which made me nervous, but I went ahead anyway. A lovely lady took me through it step-by-step until I was fully made up. She made me look natural and feminine. I think I understand the process better now. So I bought all the products she used (there goes my bank balance) and she gave me a MAC make-up bag to put them in for free.I keep wondering what the future holds for Ariane. I’m hoping to find some supportive environments where Ariane can be more open with people who will understand – although I can never be fully open because of my family circumstances.I also need to be careful about the company I keep. I like to think I have a loving heart but I am also quite fragile and I break easily. I don’t have many close friends. I’m always looking for meaning in relationships. I value emotional engagement, loyalty, kindness, integrity, mutual support, commitment. Is this a girl thing? Lots of people either aren’t ready for it or don’t want it. Anyway – Ariane is a life to be continued, and that’s more than I could say a couple of weeks ago.
    167 Posted by Ariane Durand
  • Nearly three months since I last posted. What happened? Living a life in the shadows became too much for Ariane to bear, and for a range of internal and psychological reasons she disappeared off to the realm of the imagination. Unfortunately her wardrobe disappeared also. That turned out to be an expensive mistake. Life was quieter for a while and also less interesting.Then I realised (again) that I can’t run away from who I am. I was moving in new circles and came across some rainbow ambassadors (or allies as I think they call themselves now). Inevitably I came out to them and introduced them to Ariane. This was the excuse, if I needed an excuse, to indulge in some retail therapy. Ariane has been shopping for England. The theme is black once more, with heels and pearls. I hope there will be some pictures soon.Unfortunately I then fell out with the rainbow types, for reasons unrelated to Ariane. I was quite down for a couple of days. Then I thought, I’ve never been good at doing my own make-up, now is the time to get better at it. So last week I went into my local MAC store (I chose MAC because of their trans-friendly reputation) and I said, I’m identifying as trans, I need some products, I need to know how to apply them, can you help me? They were very kind and booked me in for a lesson, which took place yesterday. This was on the shop-floor rather than a private room, which made me nervous, but I went ahead anyway. A lovely lady took me through it step-by-step until I was fully made up. She made me look natural and feminine. I think I understand the process better now. So I bought all the products she used (there goes my bank balance) and she gave me a MAC make-up bag to put them in for free.I keep wondering what the future holds for Ariane. I’m hoping to find some supportive environments where Ariane can be more open with people who will understand – although I can never be fully open because of my family circumstances.I also need to be careful about the company I keep. I like to think I have a loving heart but I am also quite fragile and I break easily. I don’t have many close friends. I’m always looking for meaning in relationships. I value emotional engagement, loyalty, kindness, integrity, mutual support, commitment. Is this a girl thing? Lots of people either aren’t ready for it or don’t want it. Anyway – Ariane is a life to be continued, and that’s more than I could say a couple of weeks ago.
    Aug 08, 2023 167
  • 24 May 2023
    I don't feel so keen to go out dressed locally on these bright spring days. Instead I've had a couple of quiet Ariane days at home, trying out various outfits. I'm starting to simplify my style and make some compromises – for example an hourglass waist is not worth it if you feel very uncomfortable and you spend ages trying to tie the corset strings neatly.   Next week I'm heading to the Peak District for some walking or cycling, and Ariane time, including a trip further north to Manchester for some socialising. I'm really looking forward to that.
    217 Posted by Ariane Durand
  • I don't feel so keen to go out dressed locally on these bright spring days. Instead I've had a couple of quiet Ariane days at home, trying out various outfits. I'm starting to simplify my style and make some compromises – for example an hourglass waist is not worth it if you feel very uncomfortable and you spend ages trying to tie the corset strings neatly.   Next week I'm heading to the Peak District for some walking or cycling, and Ariane time, including a trip further north to Manchester for some socialising. I'm really looking forward to that.
    May 24, 2023 217
  • 17 May 2023
    I haven’t had any proper Ariane time since coming back from Manchester. So I was pleased to arrange afternoon tea with Penny and Paul today. I knew they would be on their own at their home. The main issue was whether I should travel in boy mode and change into Ariane at theirs, or get ready at home and drive across town as Ariane. This was a scary thing to do, but I knew it was what I wanted. I have to get used to being Ariane in public places.I warned Penny that I might be a little over-dressed for afternoon tea. Then I applied the makeup (not brilliantly – still a work in progress). Today Ariane is wearing a black cocktail dress with heels and pearls, and the Jaeger soft leather jacket. All in black. I have an hourglass shape as well, though this is quite uncomfortable. A touch of Chanel, well more than a touch, completes the look. And the new DKNY cross-body bag. Which turns out to be smaller than I really need. Oh well.I felt a little nervous leaving home and getting into the car and driving off. What if the neighbours saw me? But they didn’t. Driving through town was OK – once you’re behind a wheel, nobody really looks at you. I had to take care, though, driving in 5” heels. Not the most practical. But I won’t wear flats on principle. I drove into the small car park near their house. There were a few people around but no one I knew, and they didn’t take any notice. I wasn’t exactly blending in, dressed for a night at the opera on a sunny suburban afternoon. But I made it into the safety of their house. It was lovely to see them and I knew that the effort of dressing to impress was worthwhile. We had a good long talk about politics, and the local church, and being Ariane, and all sorts of things. With Earl Grey tea. The teenage son of their Ukrainian refugee lodger saw me at the house, but I think he knew about me anyway.Eventually it was time to go. I felt more nervous driving home and getting in safely than I had earlier.  But I guess I was lucky in not seeing anyone I knew. Not close up anyway. So that little adventure will keep me going for a few days until I work out what to do next – and what other risks I’m prepared to take as Ariane.
    194 Posted by Ariane Durand
  • I haven’t had any proper Ariane time since coming back from Manchester. So I was pleased to arrange afternoon tea with Penny and Paul today. I knew they would be on their own at their home. The main issue was whether I should travel in boy mode and change into Ariane at theirs, or get ready at home and drive across town as Ariane. This was a scary thing to do, but I knew it was what I wanted. I have to get used to being Ariane in public places.I warned Penny that I might be a little over-dressed for afternoon tea. Then I applied the makeup (not brilliantly – still a work in progress). Today Ariane is wearing a black cocktail dress with heels and pearls, and the Jaeger soft leather jacket. All in black. I have an hourglass shape as well, though this is quite uncomfortable. A touch of Chanel, well more than a touch, completes the look. And the new DKNY cross-body bag. Which turns out to be smaller than I really need. Oh well.I felt a little nervous leaving home and getting into the car and driving off. What if the neighbours saw me? But they didn’t. Driving through town was OK – once you’re behind a wheel, nobody really looks at you. I had to take care, though, driving in 5” heels. Not the most practical. But I won’t wear flats on principle. I drove into the small car park near their house. There were a few people around but no one I knew, and they didn’t take any notice. I wasn’t exactly blending in, dressed for a night at the opera on a sunny suburban afternoon. But I made it into the safety of their house. It was lovely to see them and I knew that the effort of dressing to impress was worthwhile. We had a good long talk about politics, and the local church, and being Ariane, and all sorts of things. With Earl Grey tea. The teenage son of their Ukrainian refugee lodger saw me at the house, but I think he knew about me anyway.Eventually it was time to go. I felt more nervous driving home and getting in safely than I had earlier.  But I guess I was lucky in not seeing anyone I knew. Not close up anyway. So that little adventure will keep me going for a few days until I work out what to do next – and what other risks I’m prepared to take as Ariane.
    May 17, 2023 194
  • 08 May 2023
    The highlight of my stay in Manchester was Saturday night. I met up with two female friends, Edith and Rachelle. They knew about Ariane but this was the first time we had met in person. For this occasion I was wearing a new black cocktail dress and heels – I had told them I would look posh because I don’t know any other way.   We started off with a party in my hotel room with some champagne and music and we made a plan. We left the hotel room and walked out of the hotel and into the street. It felt very natural for me to be dressed as Ariane. It’s also becoming easier to walk in heels. No one took any notice as we headed towards Canal Street.    First stop was somewhere to eat. We walked along Canal Street and ended up in Kampus at the eastern end where we chose a selection of small plates and some drinks. This was like a pitstop for various groups who came and went quite quickly, on their way to the pubs and clubs that line the street.    With so many places to choose from, we settled on the small downstairs bar at Oscars. They had a singer-pianist playing a selection of favourites and everyone sang along. Edith and Rachelle shared a bottle of Prosecco (this is their session drink) and I went on to the gin. It was a friendly crowd, mostly men, and we got talking to some of them. It wasn’t a night for Tgirls to be out though – I only met one (a northern lass called Marie) and we chatted for a while.   Eventually the evening came to an end. Edith and Rachelle took a cab back to their accommodation and I walked back to the hotel. I did think of stopping off at another bar en route but it was very late so I decided against.   It was very good for me to be out as Ariane in public in a safe environment where everyone was either polite and friendly or just left me alone. I wish everywhere was like this. Part of me was glad that I was able to blend in and be accepted. But another part of me wanted to be noticed as the beautiful girl I was. So much more human. Edith and Rachelle had asked what my plans were long-term. I don’t have any firm plans at the moment. I’m not in a space where I can transition, much as I would like to do that, but just being able to live part of my life as Ariane is a wonderful feeling.
    190 Posted by Ariane Durand
  • The highlight of my stay in Manchester was Saturday night. I met up with two female friends, Edith and Rachelle. They knew about Ariane but this was the first time we had met in person. For this occasion I was wearing a new black cocktail dress and heels – I had told them I would look posh because I don’t know any other way.   We started off with a party in my hotel room with some champagne and music and we made a plan. We left the hotel room and walked out of the hotel and into the street. It felt very natural for me to be dressed as Ariane. It’s also becoming easier to walk in heels. No one took any notice as we headed towards Canal Street.    First stop was somewhere to eat. We walked along Canal Street and ended up in Kampus at the eastern end where we chose a selection of small plates and some drinks. This was like a pitstop for various groups who came and went quite quickly, on their way to the pubs and clubs that line the street.    With so many places to choose from, we settled on the small downstairs bar at Oscars. They had a singer-pianist playing a selection of favourites and everyone sang along. Edith and Rachelle shared a bottle of Prosecco (this is their session drink) and I went on to the gin. It was a friendly crowd, mostly men, and we got talking to some of them. It wasn’t a night for Tgirls to be out though – I only met one (a northern lass called Marie) and we chatted for a while.   Eventually the evening came to an end. Edith and Rachelle took a cab back to their accommodation and I walked back to the hotel. I did think of stopping off at another bar en route but it was very late so I decided against.   It was very good for me to be out as Ariane in public in a safe environment where everyone was either polite and friendly or just left me alone. I wish everywhere was like this. Part of me was glad that I was able to blend in and be accepted. But another part of me wanted to be noticed as the beautiful girl I was. So much more human. Edith and Rachelle had asked what my plans were long-term. I don’t have any firm plans at the moment. I’m not in a space where I can transition, much as I would like to do that, but just being able to live part of my life as Ariane is a wonderful feeling.
    May 08, 2023 190
  • 06 May 2023
    After a few days in the Lake District, I am now in Manchester for the final part of my anti-coronation northern tour. Last night I was on my own in my hotel room with a wardrobe full of Ariane clothing. I thought if I was ever going to socialise on my own, Manchester was the best place to do it, so I got dressed and made up, and ventured out. Just a short walk to the Village and Canal Street. It was so nice to go out in public as Ariane without anyone staring or calling me names.   I walked up and down Canal Street a few times. So many pubs and clubs, so many people out enjoying themselves. I saw some drag queens in the street. But hardly anyone that I'd describe as a Tgirl like myself. Mostly men and women, mostly in groups. I understand from my contacts that Wednesday is the night for local Tgirls when a regular group meets for an evening out. I'm hoping to join them at the end of May.   Eventually I went into The Brewers, a pub towards the eastern end of the street, ordered a gin and tonic, and sat down. There was a singer on the stage – don't know her name – who entertained the audience with some songs that I didn't know. After she'd finished, I walked back along the street. The night was just getting going and people were on the dance floor moving to very loud music in some venues.   This was the first time in a long time that I'd gone out en femme for some social interaction and been treated as entirely normal. So nice. 
    194 Posted by Ariane Durand
  • After a few days in the Lake District, I am now in Manchester for the final part of my anti-coronation northern tour. Last night I was on my own in my hotel room with a wardrobe full of Ariane clothing. I thought if I was ever going to socialise on my own, Manchester was the best place to do it, so I got dressed and made up, and ventured out. Just a short walk to the Village and Canal Street. It was so nice to go out in public as Ariane without anyone staring or calling me names.   I walked up and down Canal Street a few times. So many pubs and clubs, so many people out enjoying themselves. I saw some drag queens in the street. But hardly anyone that I'd describe as a Tgirl like myself. Mostly men and women, mostly in groups. I understand from my contacts that Wednesday is the night for local Tgirls when a regular group meets for an evening out. I'm hoping to join them at the end of May.   Eventually I went into The Brewers, a pub towards the eastern end of the street, ordered a gin and tonic, and sat down. There was a singer on the stage – don't know her name – who entertained the audience with some songs that I didn't know. After she'd finished, I walked back along the street. The night was just getting going and people were on the dance floor moving to very loud music in some venues.   This was the first time in a long time that I'd gone out en femme for some social interaction and been treated as entirely normal. So nice. 
    May 06, 2023 194
  • 02 May 2023
    Another day, another dressing service… Today I went to see Ms Lola (not her real name) who provides a range of makeover and related services to the trans community from her studio in north London. Originally I had asked for a makeover and photoshoot, but this time I decided that I should actually learn something rather than just look pretty and pose for the camera.   So, once I had changed into Ariane mode, the first part of the session was a makeup lesson. Ms Lola made up one side of my face, explaining everything as she went along, then it was my turn to make up the other side and try to achieve similar results. I didn’t do quite as well as the pro artiste, obviously, but some of it was quite good and she corrected my mistakes as we went along. Her aim was to demonstrate a natural look that I could reproduce at home. So, nothing too elaborate, but a sensible and logical routine. I found applying eye liner quite difficult (my eyes kept watering) but overall I was pleased with the result and I think I understand the process better.   After a short break, we moved on to the second service I had requested, which was a lesson in deportment. Essentially how to walk and behave like a woman, adopting female rather that male ways of doing things. So I found myself walking up and down the room in heels. Remembering to take short steps, keep one foot in front of the other, maintain my balance, look ahead rather than down in front in me, above all not to rush anything. Also how to go up and down the stairs, which was not difficult. (Does anyone remember when the daleks learned how to move upstairs? I think it was in the time of the 7th Doctor, Sylvester McCoy, and it made them more of a threat than ever.) And how to move into a room, and sit down on a chair, and generally arrange oneself. All this was useful and I felt more confident by the end about my ability to project as a woman.   So now it’s time to apply the lessons and time for Ariane to take on the world. Tomorrow I head north for a few days’ walking in the Lakes and being Ariane as much as possible. Looking ahead to "Saturday night is party night" in Manchester with my obliging female friends as company. I’ve been so busy that I haven’t really had time to think about the trip, but it’s going to be great.
    182 Posted by Ariane Durand
  • Another day, another dressing service… Today I went to see Ms Lola (not her real name) who provides a range of makeover and related services to the trans community from her studio in north London. Originally I had asked for a makeover and photoshoot, but this time I decided that I should actually learn something rather than just look pretty and pose for the camera.   So, once I had changed into Ariane mode, the first part of the session was a makeup lesson. Ms Lola made up one side of my face, explaining everything as she went along, then it was my turn to make up the other side and try to achieve similar results. I didn’t do quite as well as the pro artiste, obviously, but some of it was quite good and she corrected my mistakes as we went along. Her aim was to demonstrate a natural look that I could reproduce at home. So, nothing too elaborate, but a sensible and logical routine. I found applying eye liner quite difficult (my eyes kept watering) but overall I was pleased with the result and I think I understand the process better.   After a short break, we moved on to the second service I had requested, which was a lesson in deportment. Essentially how to walk and behave like a woman, adopting female rather that male ways of doing things. So I found myself walking up and down the room in heels. Remembering to take short steps, keep one foot in front of the other, maintain my balance, look ahead rather than down in front in me, above all not to rush anything. Also how to go up and down the stairs, which was not difficult. (Does anyone remember when the daleks learned how to move upstairs? I think it was in the time of the 7th Doctor, Sylvester McCoy, and it made them more of a threat than ever.) And how to move into a room, and sit down on a chair, and generally arrange oneself. All this was useful and I felt more confident by the end about my ability to project as a woman.   So now it’s time to apply the lessons and time for Ariane to take on the world. Tomorrow I head north for a few days’ walking in the Lakes and being Ariane as much as possible. Looking ahead to "Saturday night is party night" in Manchester with my obliging female friends as company. I’ve been so busy that I haven’t really had time to think about the trip, but it’s going to be great.
    May 02, 2023 182
  • 02 May 2023
    Last night I went to a Christian discussion group in my local town with other members of my local church. There were eight of us in total including my friends the hosts. This monthly group offers fellowship, spiritual support, and cake, but the main focus is the discussion of a topical subject. This time the subject was same-sex marriage in the Church of England. This was the theme of “Living in Love and Faith”, which the church’s governing body debated and voted upon earlier this year. As a result, the official position of the church, which remains in place for the next five years, is this: • the church acknowledges the hurt felt by same-sex Christians down the ages • nevertheless it remains of the view that the Christian model is marriage between a man and a woman • same-sex marriages may not be celebrated in the Church of England • the individual members of a same-sex union may receive a blessing in church, but their union will not be blessed.   It soon became clear that all of us in the group were on the same, progressive, side of the argument. Some of the group had personal experience of interacting with (and loving) gay members of their family. We were all agreed that the central message of the Christian faith is one of love: God’s love for humanity, and the love we are called to show to each other. This is the highest kind of love, which sacrifices itself for others, places the needs of others first, and values everyone as special because loved by God.   Set against that the traditional view that the Bible condemns homosexual practice as sinful; that God is a holy God who cannot abide sin; and that Christians are called upon to “hate the sin but love the sinner”, as the phrase goes. Now this raises a number of issues. First, the Bible was clearly a product of its time and reflects the world-understanding of its authors. So much has changed since then. Our understanding of how and why people identify as gay has been revolutionised: it’s not a perverted lifestyle choice, but simply the way some people are. Also, slavery is universally condemned, although the Bible condones it (the apostle Paul urges masters to treat their slaves kindly). So the Bible must be continually reinterpreted in the light of our ever-growing understanding of the human condition.   Second, it is actually very hard to distinguish between the sin and the sinner. The terrible truth is that hating the sin sends you down the road of hating the sinner. In many parts of the world, particularly Africa, homosexual promotion or practice can result in death. Here in England, the authorities don’t execute gay people, but the church continues to treat them as second-class and to discriminate against them. Officially the church acknowledges that its position goes too far for some and not far enough for others. It’s hard to avoid the impression that the debate is less about determining the spiritual truth and more about preventing the church from splitting in two over the issues.   Third, the traditional position does not reflect the reality or the depth of the love that same-sex couples can have for each other. Loyalty, commitment, self-giving, sharing one’s own being with another: these are not confined to man-woman relationships but are also evident in so many same-sex relationships that we personally know.   And finally, the traditional view is simply not compatible with the Christian message of unconditional love for all people, regarding them as special regardless of their sexual orientation.    So we in the group concluded that love is the answer to the problems of the world and that the message of love will endure to the end of time.   The discussion came to an end, and most people went home. I stayed behind, as did a woman named D, a lifelong friend of the hosts. I said to my friends the hosts that if the discussion had continued, I was going to share my situation with the group. And then I told their friend D all about Ariane. She reacted as I was sure she would, in a positive and affirming way. So that’s another coming-out accomplished. Maybe I will share this with the whole group next month.  
    217 Posted by Ariane Durand
  • Last night I went to a Christian discussion group in my local town with other members of my local church. There were eight of us in total including my friends the hosts. This monthly group offers fellowship, spiritual support, and cake, but the main focus is the discussion of a topical subject. This time the subject was same-sex marriage in the Church of England. This was the theme of “Living in Love and Faith”, which the church’s governing body debated and voted upon earlier this year. As a result, the official position of the church, which remains in place for the next five years, is this: • the church acknowledges the hurt felt by same-sex Christians down the ages • nevertheless it remains of the view that the Christian model is marriage between a man and a woman • same-sex marriages may not be celebrated in the Church of England • the individual members of a same-sex union may receive a blessing in church, but their union will not be blessed.   It soon became clear that all of us in the group were on the same, progressive, side of the argument. Some of the group had personal experience of interacting with (and loving) gay members of their family. We were all agreed that the central message of the Christian faith is one of love: God’s love for humanity, and the love we are called to show to each other. This is the highest kind of love, which sacrifices itself for others, places the needs of others first, and values everyone as special because loved by God.   Set against that the traditional view that the Bible condemns homosexual practice as sinful; that God is a holy God who cannot abide sin; and that Christians are called upon to “hate the sin but love the sinner”, as the phrase goes. Now this raises a number of issues. First, the Bible was clearly a product of its time and reflects the world-understanding of its authors. So much has changed since then. Our understanding of how and why people identify as gay has been revolutionised: it’s not a perverted lifestyle choice, but simply the way some people are. Also, slavery is universally condemned, although the Bible condones it (the apostle Paul urges masters to treat their slaves kindly). So the Bible must be continually reinterpreted in the light of our ever-growing understanding of the human condition.   Second, it is actually very hard to distinguish between the sin and the sinner. The terrible truth is that hating the sin sends you down the road of hating the sinner. In many parts of the world, particularly Africa, homosexual promotion or practice can result in death. Here in England, the authorities don’t execute gay people, but the church continues to treat them as second-class and to discriminate against them. Officially the church acknowledges that its position goes too far for some and not far enough for others. It’s hard to avoid the impression that the debate is less about determining the spiritual truth and more about preventing the church from splitting in two over the issues.   Third, the traditional position does not reflect the reality or the depth of the love that same-sex couples can have for each other. Loyalty, commitment, self-giving, sharing one’s own being with another: these are not confined to man-woman relationships but are also evident in so many same-sex relationships that we personally know.   And finally, the traditional view is simply not compatible with the Christian message of unconditional love for all people, regarding them as special regardless of their sexual orientation.    So we in the group concluded that love is the answer to the problems of the world and that the message of love will endure to the end of time.   The discussion came to an end, and most people went home. I stayed behind, as did a woman named D, a lifelong friend of the hosts. I said to my friends the hosts that if the discussion had continued, I was going to share my situation with the group. And then I told their friend D all about Ariane. She reacted as I was sure she would, in a positive and affirming way. So that’s another coming-out accomplished. Maybe I will share this with the whole group next month.  
    May 02, 2023 217
  • 27 Apr 2023
    Yesterday I went for a makeover and photoshoot at Boys Will Be Girls. This is a dressing service in London near London Bridge run by Cindy and her colleague Victoria. They offer a range of services also including makeup lessons, clothes storage, makeup and go (if you want to look your best for a night out), and escorted daytime or evening trips for shopping, dinner, drinks, clubbing and the like.   This was my first visit to BWBG. I opted for the 3-hour makeover including makeup, wardrobe choices, and a pro-level photoshoot. Cindy had asked me to fill out a questionnaire in the days leading up to the session so she already had an idea of the look and outfits I was going for. She has been working in this line of business for about 10 years and she certainly knows what she’s doing.   When I arrived, she sorted out some undergarments for me and a robe, then got to work. The process of applying makeup took about an hour. At my request, she talked me through each step so that I had an idea of what to do myself. It was quite an involved process with many stages. Some of these are probably too elaborate for me to try at home. But it was worth it as she achieved a much more convincing look than I could have managed on my own.   Then she helped me choose a wig. I tried on several in different styles until we found one that was just right. Short, black, with a fringe and a slight wave. Not a bob style, but quite similar. She was very patient as we went through the selection.   After that it was time to get dressed. Cindy took me into a separate room with a large selection of outfits and shoes in my size and she left me to it. Eventually I found a couple of black dresses that I liked and a pair of black stiletto court shoes. To complete the look, I added a pearl necklace, bracelet and earrings from her collection. Cindy categorised the result as 1920s – flapper style. I guess this is what it is, and it reflects how I want Ariane to look, although I didn’t start out my femme life consciously aiming for that. So my heroine is the actress Louise Brooks.   For the photoshoot, Cindy produced some stage lights and an impressive-looking camera. She took a lot of photos of Ariane in various poses, first in one outfit and then the other. She’s going to edit these and send them on. I should have them by early next week and will post some of them on the site. These will be interesting.    I spent more time than I should, admiring Ariane in a very large mirror. Then reluctantly I accepted that the fun had to stop. I undressed from these lovely outfits and Cindy took me through the process of removing my makeup and returning to boy mode.   It was interesting that some of the techniques she used at either end were different from those used by Christiane Dowling in my earlier makeup lesson. It just shows there is no one perfect way to do your makeup. That’s quite a helpful thing to know.    We had a bit of time at the end so I chatted with Cindy and Victoria for a while. I like the sound of an escorted trip for an evening out in London. This is Victoria’s part of the deal – she’s the escort. In her company it would be so much easier for me to go to a restaurant or pub or wine bar or even a club without feeling afraid and without getting unwanted attention from male admirers. So that’s my next adventure. They were both friendly and helpful throughout. I felt safe with them.
    177 Posted by Ariane Durand
  • Yesterday I went for a makeover and photoshoot at Boys Will Be Girls. This is a dressing service in London near London Bridge run by Cindy and her colleague Victoria. They offer a range of services also including makeup lessons, clothes storage, makeup and go (if you want to look your best for a night out), and escorted daytime or evening trips for shopping, dinner, drinks, clubbing and the like.   This was my first visit to BWBG. I opted for the 3-hour makeover including makeup, wardrobe choices, and a pro-level photoshoot. Cindy had asked me to fill out a questionnaire in the days leading up to the session so she already had an idea of the look and outfits I was going for. She has been working in this line of business for about 10 years and she certainly knows what she’s doing.   When I arrived, she sorted out some undergarments for me and a robe, then got to work. The process of applying makeup took about an hour. At my request, she talked me through each step so that I had an idea of what to do myself. It was quite an involved process with many stages. Some of these are probably too elaborate for me to try at home. But it was worth it as she achieved a much more convincing look than I could have managed on my own.   Then she helped me choose a wig. I tried on several in different styles until we found one that was just right. Short, black, with a fringe and a slight wave. Not a bob style, but quite similar. She was very patient as we went through the selection.   After that it was time to get dressed. Cindy took me into a separate room with a large selection of outfits and shoes in my size and she left me to it. Eventually I found a couple of black dresses that I liked and a pair of black stiletto court shoes. To complete the look, I added a pearl necklace, bracelet and earrings from her collection. Cindy categorised the result as 1920s – flapper style. I guess this is what it is, and it reflects how I want Ariane to look, although I didn’t start out my femme life consciously aiming for that. So my heroine is the actress Louise Brooks.   For the photoshoot, Cindy produced some stage lights and an impressive-looking camera. She took a lot of photos of Ariane in various poses, first in one outfit and then the other. She’s going to edit these and send them on. I should have them by early next week and will post some of them on the site. These will be interesting.    I spent more time than I should, admiring Ariane in a very large mirror. Then reluctantly I accepted that the fun had to stop. I undressed from these lovely outfits and Cindy took me through the process of removing my makeup and returning to boy mode.   It was interesting that some of the techniques she used at either end were different from those used by Christiane Dowling in my earlier makeup lesson. It just shows there is no one perfect way to do your makeup. That’s quite a helpful thing to know.    We had a bit of time at the end so I chatted with Cindy and Victoria for a while. I like the sound of an escorted trip for an evening out in London. This is Victoria’s part of the deal – she’s the escort. In her company it would be so much easier for me to go to a restaurant or pub or wine bar or even a club without feeling afraid and without getting unwanted attention from male admirers. So that’s my next adventure. They were both friendly and helpful throughout. I felt safe with them.
    Apr 27, 2023 177
  • 21 Apr 2023
    I'm now trying to put events in my diary with at least one overnight stay so that I can be Ariane as much as possible when I'm away. This weekend I'm in Somerset – I have an event all day tomorrow. But tonight and tomorrow night is Ariane time.   So I'm staying in a cottage just outside Shepton Mallet in North Somerset. I had a shower, put on some makeup, and got into the long black dress and ankle boots. The dressing is the part I like the most. Then I drove into town. I parked at the Tesco superstore and bought some food. Then I walked round the town centre for a bit. It felt very natural and most people didn't take any notice. In fact it was lovely.   I thought about going into a pub for a drink but don't feel confident enough on my own yet. Tomorrow night I think I might head off to the city (Bath or Bristol) and find a trans-friendly venue where I can blend in and just take in the scene.
    172 Posted by Ariane Durand
  • I'm now trying to put events in my diary with at least one overnight stay so that I can be Ariane as much as possible when I'm away. This weekend I'm in Somerset – I have an event all day tomorrow. But tonight and tomorrow night is Ariane time.   So I'm staying in a cottage just outside Shepton Mallet in North Somerset. I had a shower, put on some makeup, and got into the long black dress and ankle boots. The dressing is the part I like the most. Then I drove into town. I parked at the Tesco superstore and bought some food. Then I walked round the town centre for a bit. It felt very natural and most people didn't take any notice. In fact it was lovely.   I thought about going into a pub for a drink but don't feel confident enough on my own yet. Tomorrow night I think I might head off to the city (Bath or Bristol) and find a trans-friendly venue where I can blend in and just take in the scene.
    Apr 21, 2023 172
  • 18 Apr 2023
    It's been a difficult week. However, Ariane came out to play this afternoon. I went to see P & P by prior arrangement and went straight into the changing room. When I came out half an hour later, there were P & P, together with their Ukrainian refugee lodger whom I will call Ini. I wasn't expecting her but she already knew about Ariane. This was the first time we met in person. Many hugs later and off she went to change into a long black dress, leather jacket and pearls – same as Ariane – so that we could have a twin photoshoot. It was just an everyday look for her today but I have seen her photos and she can look very glamorous.   So that's another new friend, someone else Ariane has come out to. It was easier this time. Being with supportive friends makes everything a lot easier.
    183 Posted by Ariane Durand
  • It's been a difficult week. However, Ariane came out to play this afternoon. I went to see P & P by prior arrangement and went straight into the changing room. When I came out half an hour later, there were P & P, together with their Ukrainian refugee lodger whom I will call Ini. I wasn't expecting her but she already knew about Ariane. This was the first time we met in person. Many hugs later and off she went to change into a long black dress, leather jacket and pearls – same as Ariane – so that we could have a twin photoshoot. It was just an everyday look for her today but I have seen her photos and she can look very glamorous.   So that's another new friend, someone else Ariane has come out to. It was easier this time. Being with supportive friends makes everything a lot easier.
    Apr 18, 2023 183