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  • 18 Feb 2004
    had a rather steamy sessionwith alex and jenny yesterday.it was amazing!!
    446 Posted by Anna-Marie Trindall
  • had a rather steamy sessionwith alex and jenny yesterday.it was amazing!!
    Feb 18, 2004 446
  • 17 Feb 2004
    I am so close to being divorced for the second time.  I have been unemployed for 8 months now after having been laid off from my tech job.  That really affected me more than I thought it would and I started going in to a therapist to deal with the huge amount of anger that I was feeling.  I also have been taking meds for depression for years and they didn't seem to be helping.  Therapy tends to open lots of doors within your mind, heart and soul that usually have been kept shut for many reasons.  Well, I have opened up so many doors now and I can't close any of them.  The result has flooded me with so many emotions, bring out all the worst feelings I have had about myself and sent me into a tailspin of self destructive behavior.  I have always done my dressing up partly because that is one of the few times when I am gentle to myself.  I don't hate myself or feel self destructive when I step into my female mode.  During this time that I have been laid off and having lots of time to myself at home wanting to be dressed up has almost become addictive.   Any way my SO caught me dressed up and drunk.  Although I shared with her my crossdressing desires when we first got together and she didn't have a problem with it then she sure has a problem now.  It has caused a complete environment of mistrust and doubt and I seem to spend all my time being in the defensive mode.  Still dressing up whenever I can, I came home from a therpy session one day feeling totally destroyed and I got completely dressed up with makeup, wig  painted toes, the whole works.  Well of course K (my SO) came home for some reason and caught me again.  Things have gone from bad to worse since then.  We are having to sell our beautiful home that we both thought we would live in for the rest of our lives and move into a smaller place.  One that she can feel comfortable in and cover the overhead by herself in case we don't make it through this conflict. We both are having to give up a lot and I have become so depressed and shut down that I just don't care about anything.  I still try to move through life and keep up with my responsibilities but emotionally I am just not there like I need to be.  I just don't understand how two people who love each other as much as we do can end up in this kind of toxic situation.  I am devistated by the hurt and pain I have caused her and when she cries I just want to crawl into a hole and die.  During all of this my desires to dress up have overwhelmed me and even with sharing these feelings with my therypst I can't find out what my reasons are, My real reasons.  I enjoy being a male and have been very good at it.  I have been told that I am very handsom and have had dozens of interluds in my life time.  I was a drummer in a few bands when I was younger and I have been trying to get into the girls pants since I was 10 years old.  My SO feels threatened and has the opinion that when I dress up I might as well be having an affair. I have to wonder if maybe there is a feeling within me that I really want to be female and leave the other behind.  I am so confussed and disillusioned, where is my heart taking me, where is Spirit taking me.  How can I hurt the one I love more than life itself. So much for a depressing blog, I must apoligize for whinning but I just had to write these feelings down and put them out there.  Coming to the TrannyWeb pages and chating does make me feel better and I love all of you for the sharing that you do. Wondering, Tressa        
    458 Posted by Tressa Rion Gilreath
  • I am so close to being divorced for the second time.  I have been unemployed for 8 months now after having been laid off from my tech job.  That really affected me more than I thought it would and I started going in to a therapist to deal with the huge amount of anger that I was feeling.  I also have been taking meds for depression for years and they didn't seem to be helping.  Therapy tends to open lots of doors within your mind, heart and soul that usually have been kept shut for many reasons.  Well, I have opened up so many doors now and I can't close any of them.  The result has flooded me with so many emotions, bring out all the worst feelings I have had about myself and sent me into a tailspin of self destructive behavior.  I have always done my dressing up partly because that is one of the few times when I am gentle to myself.  I don't hate myself or feel self destructive when I step into my female mode.  During this time that I have been laid off and having lots of time to myself at home wanting to be dressed up has almost become addictive.   Any way my SO caught me dressed up and drunk.  Although I shared with her my crossdressing desires when we first got together and she didn't have a problem with it then she sure has a problem now.  It has caused a complete environment of mistrust and doubt and I seem to spend all my time being in the defensive mode.  Still dressing up whenever I can, I came home from a therpy session one day feeling totally destroyed and I got completely dressed up with makeup, wig  painted toes, the whole works.  Well of course K (my SO) came home for some reason and caught me again.  Things have gone from bad to worse since then.  We are having to sell our beautiful home that we both thought we would live in for the rest of our lives and move into a smaller place.  One that she can feel comfortable in and cover the overhead by herself in case we don't make it through this conflict. We both are having to give up a lot and I have become so depressed and shut down that I just don't care about anything.  I still try to move through life and keep up with my responsibilities but emotionally I am just not there like I need to be.  I just don't understand how two people who love each other as much as we do can end up in this kind of toxic situation.  I am devistated by the hurt and pain I have caused her and when she cries I just want to crawl into a hole and die.  During all of this my desires to dress up have overwhelmed me and even with sharing these feelings with my therypst I can't find out what my reasons are, My real reasons.  I enjoy being a male and have been very good at it.  I have been told that I am very handsom and have had dozens of interluds in my life time.  I was a drummer in a few bands when I was younger and I have been trying to get into the girls pants since I was 10 years old.  My SO feels threatened and has the opinion that when I dress up I might as well be having an affair. I have to wonder if maybe there is a feeling within me that I really want to be female and leave the other behind.  I am so confussed and disillusioned, where is my heart taking me, where is Spirit taking me.  How can I hurt the one I love more than life itself. So much for a depressing blog, I must apoligize for whinning but I just had to write these feelings down and put them out there.  Coming to the TrannyWeb pages and chating does make me feel better and I love all of you for the sharing that you do. Wondering, Tressa        
    Feb 17, 2004 458
  • 15 Feb 2004
    I'm not moaning - honest!  Although there is a lot of red tape and mundane stuff to do, I actually love running Trannyweb for my girls.  I do wish that we could have a bug free society though, so we could concentrate on the business of being girly. Some things to do this week - we must write some help pages for the blogger - even I'm not sure exactly how it works.  I also need to do something about voting for pictures in the galleries. Gotta get going on our next Tranny Tribune and need to get Eric to install our recurring memberships add-on which should hopefully eliminate the bugs we've been experiencing in our billing module.  If the past is anything to go by, it will fix the old problems and introduce some new ones. I'm waiting on the two messenger companies to get back to me with their final prices and will then pick one.  Then we'll need to get Eric to integrate the winner into the community.  Could take a while.  I'm also expecting this little exercise to be very costly. The messenger could be the most expensive piece of software we've ever bought (more that all of the other software put together). However, I think it will be money well spent because it will make Trannyweb membership absolutely irresistible. This is no ordinary messenger we're talking about here!  All will be revealed soon! Hugs,  Katie  :)
    717 Posted by Katie Glover
  • I'm not moaning - honest!  Although there is a lot of red tape and mundane stuff to do, I actually love running Trannyweb for my girls.  I do wish that we could have a bug free society though, so we could concentrate on the business of being girly. Some things to do this week - we must write some help pages for the blogger - even I'm not sure exactly how it works.  I also need to do something about voting for pictures in the galleries. Gotta get going on our next Tranny Tribune and need to get Eric to install our recurring memberships add-on which should hopefully eliminate the bugs we've been experiencing in our billing module.  If the past is anything to go by, it will fix the old problems and introduce some new ones. I'm waiting on the two messenger companies to get back to me with their final prices and will then pick one.  Then we'll need to get Eric to integrate the winner into the community.  Could take a while.  I'm also expecting this little exercise to be very costly. The messenger could be the most expensive piece of software we've ever bought (more that all of the other software put together). However, I think it will be money well spent because it will make Trannyweb membership absolutely irresistible. This is no ordinary messenger we're talking about here!  All will be revealed soon! Hugs,  Katie  :)
    Feb 15, 2004 717
  • 14 Feb 2004
    got some rather sad news about a close friend of mine(kim). i knew she was off on holiday to Rio but what i did'nt know was that she was'nt coming back!!. and i'm gutted!!
    507 Posted by Anna-Marie Trindall
  • got some rather sad news about a close friend of mine(kim). i knew she was off on holiday to Rio but what i did'nt know was that she was'nt coming back!!. and i'm gutted!!
    Feb 14, 2004 507