View By Date

Please Visit Our Sponsor



Tags

Statistics

  • 5420
    Blogs
  • 361
    Active Bloggers
5359 blogs
  • 17 Oct 2005
    Yes, I've used that tag line before...... I had to get out for a day.  On Saturday I went to my folks' house and stayed for the night.  The thing is, I felt like I had to get permission from my friend to do it, especially since he and my wife think my living there is a bad idea.  My folks didn't like their thinking that, especially my dad.  He made it clear to me to stand up to them and make my own decisions.  He said it was obvious that I was being beaten down.  I mentioned this before - a few weeks back my folks needed me to stay there alone to watch the house while they were away.  My friend and wife were dead against it, and my wife even threatened divorce if I did it. They felt I would relapse (thanks for the trust!).  My folks essentially told me what I've already been thinking, and saying, and that is they can make all the threats they like, but I am my own person.  I agree, and I have been very assertive.  I still get tired of lectures, especially about my problems in finding a job.  I told my friend I'd like to see him get something right now, and that my wife has been trying to get a new job for years and has been unsuccessful.  I am getting tired of it all.  If something doesn't change soon I will have to make some major decisions. Consequences are going to have to happen.  I need to decide my own.  I am definitely feeling my old strength coming back. My folks were watching this little white yapping dog from next door.  The thing barked at me constantly.  My mom said she really doesn't like men, to which I replied "I could change that."  She laughed. I didn't get to see my daughter Saturday because she had a birthday party to go to, and that was fine with me.  I don't want to interfere with her social life.  I wound up leaving the dungeon for my folks' anyway.  It was nice to be away and have some peace and quiet. So I'm out pounding the pavement again today.  I'm deliberately staying out later than usual because I do not want to meet with those Mormon dudes again (no offense to any Mormons out there). They're nice, but I don't want to be a Mormon.  I'm screwed up enough as it is to have to join a made-up religion.  Although, as I've said before, I got a certain pleasure out of telling them I thought I might be TS! On the plus side I've been getting more calls for interviews, I should have the Jazz Era book contract this week, and I start seeing a new shrink on Friday, which means eventual dialog with my wife.  Yet there is one thing missing from my life, and you all know what that is. I have no freedom to fully be Meredith. Keep your fingers crossed for me.  Let's hope this is a good week. Mere
    3029 Posted by Meredith Newton
  • Yes, I've used that tag line before...... I had to get out for a day.  On Saturday I went to my folks' house and stayed for the night.  The thing is, I felt like I had to get permission from my friend to do it, especially since he and my wife think my living there is a bad idea.  My folks didn't like their thinking that, especially my dad.  He made it clear to me to stand up to them and make my own decisions.  He said it was obvious that I was being beaten down.  I mentioned this before - a few weeks back my folks needed me to stay there alone to watch the house while they were away.  My friend and wife were dead against it, and my wife even threatened divorce if I did it. They felt I would relapse (thanks for the trust!).  My folks essentially told me what I've already been thinking, and saying, and that is they can make all the threats they like, but I am my own person.  I agree, and I have been very assertive.  I still get tired of lectures, especially about my problems in finding a job.  I told my friend I'd like to see him get something right now, and that my wife has been trying to get a new job for years and has been unsuccessful.  I am getting tired of it all.  If something doesn't change soon I will have to make some major decisions. Consequences are going to have to happen.  I need to decide my own.  I am definitely feeling my old strength coming back. My folks were watching this little white yapping dog from next door.  The thing barked at me constantly.  My mom said she really doesn't like men, to which I replied "I could change that."  She laughed. I didn't get to see my daughter Saturday because she had a birthday party to go to, and that was fine with me.  I don't want to interfere with her social life.  I wound up leaving the dungeon for my folks' anyway.  It was nice to be away and have some peace and quiet. So I'm out pounding the pavement again today.  I'm deliberately staying out later than usual because I do not want to meet with those Mormon dudes again (no offense to any Mormons out there). They're nice, but I don't want to be a Mormon.  I'm screwed up enough as it is to have to join a made-up religion.  Although, as I've said before, I got a certain pleasure out of telling them I thought I might be TS! On the plus side I've been getting more calls for interviews, I should have the Jazz Era book contract this week, and I start seeing a new shrink on Friday, which means eventual dialog with my wife.  Yet there is one thing missing from my life, and you all know what that is. I have no freedom to fully be Meredith. Keep your fingers crossed for me.  Let's hope this is a good week. Mere
    Oct 17, 2005 3029
  • 22 Sep 2008
    well its under a week till the opening nite of papillonam i shitting bricks naham i nerves nah not reallyam i knackerd yeah i bloody am from running round sorting stuff for opening nite , things have arrived here that should of been deliverd else were so ill have to carry them into london on satFor those who are woundering wot papillon is its a tg nite based in central london being run by me and 2 frineds you can find out more by visiting are website at www.lesfillesdepapillon.co.uk
    3004 Posted by christina dearlove
  • well its under a week till the opening nite of papillonam i shitting bricks naham i nerves nah not reallyam i knackerd yeah i bloody am from running round sorting stuff for opening nite , things have arrived here that should of been deliverd else were so ill have to carry them into london on satFor those who are woundering wot papillon is its a tg nite based in central london being run by me and 2 frineds you can find out more by visiting are website at www.lesfillesdepapillon.co.uk
    Sep 22, 2008 3004
  • 28 Aug 2013
    Someone sent this to Lee today, I thought it was cute.........and oh so accurate LOL YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM ARIZONA WHEN. . . 1. You can say Hohokam and no one thinks you're making it up. 2.You no longer associate rivers or bridges with water. 3.You know that a "swamp cooler" is not a happy hour drink. 4.You can contemplate a high temperature of 120 degrees as "not all that bad, after all it's a dry heat." 5.You know that you can make sun tea outside faster than instant tea in your microwave. 6.You have to run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so that you can use your fireplace. 7.The water coming from the "cold" tap is hotter than that from the hot" tap. 8.You can correctly pronounce the following words: "Saguaro", "Tempe", "Gila Bend", "San Xavier del Bac", "Canyon de Chelly", "Mogollon Rim", "Cholla", and "Tlaquepacque", "Ajo". 9.It's noon on a weekday in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one single person is moving on the streets. 10.Hot air balloons can't fly because the air outside is hotter than the air inside. 11.You buy salsa by the gallon. 12.Your Christmas decorations include a half a yard of sand and 100 paper bags. 13.You think someone driving while wearing oven mitts is clever. 14.Most of the restaurants in your town have the first name "El" or "Los." 15.You think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful yard. 16.You can say 115 degrees without fainting. 17.Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer. 18.People break out coats when the temperature drops below 70. 19.You discover, in July, it only takes two fingers to drive your car. 20.The pool can be warmer than you are. 21.You realize Valley Fever isn't a disco dance. 22.People with black cars or have black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out-of-state or nuts. 23.You know better than to get into a car/truck with leather seats if you're wearing shorts. 24.Announcements for Fourth of July events always end with "in case of monsoon..." 25.You have to explain to out-of-staters why there is no daylight savings time 26.You can say "haboob" without giggling.
    2972 Posted by Briana Lynn Rekowski
  • Someone sent this to Lee today, I thought it was cute.........and oh so accurate LOL YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM ARIZONA WHEN. . . 1. You can say Hohokam and no one thinks you're making it up. 2.You no longer associate rivers or bridges with water. 3.You know that a "swamp cooler" is not a happy hour drink. 4.You can contemplate a high temperature of 120 degrees as "not all that bad, after all it's a dry heat." 5.You know that you can make sun tea outside faster than instant tea in your microwave. 6.You have to run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so that you can use your fireplace. 7.The water coming from the "cold" tap is hotter than that from the hot" tap. 8.You can correctly pronounce the following words: "Saguaro", "Tempe", "Gila Bend", "San Xavier del Bac", "Canyon de Chelly", "Mogollon Rim", "Cholla", and "Tlaquepacque", "Ajo". 9.It's noon on a weekday in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one single person is moving on the streets. 10.Hot air balloons can't fly because the air outside is hotter than the air inside. 11.You buy salsa by the gallon. 12.Your Christmas decorations include a half a yard of sand and 100 paper bags. 13.You think someone driving while wearing oven mitts is clever. 14.Most of the restaurants in your town have the first name "El" or "Los." 15.You think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful yard. 16.You can say 115 degrees without fainting. 17.Vehicles with open windows have the right-of-way in the summer. 18.People break out coats when the temperature drops below 70. 19.You discover, in July, it only takes two fingers to drive your car. 20.The pool can be warmer than you are. 21.You realize Valley Fever isn't a disco dance. 22.People with black cars or have black upholstery in their car are automatically assumed to be from out-of-state or nuts. 23.You know better than to get into a car/truck with leather seats if you're wearing shorts. 24.Announcements for Fourth of July events always end with "in case of monsoon..." 25.You have to explain to out-of-staters why there is no daylight savings time 26.You can say "haboob" without giggling.
    Aug 28, 2013 2972
  • 23 Jun 2011
    I have found, what with the forced solitude of living in a community that feared me or hated me, that my company is not so bad. I have learned to enjoy the stillness of my quiet periods, the raucousness of my manic times and the humor I enjoy on a daily basis without having to tell anyone else. My own private joke.I am a woman, I need no one else to complete me, I come as a complete package from my creator, she saw fit to make me the way I am and give me the tools to make it work. Although I am a creature well-versed in social skills, I am able to operate independently of others, and yet, fit right in with a group as if I had been there all my life.My gender (female) was not set by my genitals, nor by my chest size, not even by the length of my hair. My gender was set by my heart, mind and soul. My body is a fragile thing capable of great change whenever and wherever it so pleases me.I am woman, I am all there needs to be, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
    2966 Posted by Kynthia Alice
  • I have found, what with the forced solitude of living in a community that feared me or hated me, that my company is not so bad. I have learned to enjoy the stillness of my quiet periods, the raucousness of my manic times and the humor I enjoy on a daily basis without having to tell anyone else. My own private joke.I am a woman, I need no one else to complete me, I come as a complete package from my creator, she saw fit to make me the way I am and give me the tools to make it work. Although I am a creature well-versed in social skills, I am able to operate independently of others, and yet, fit right in with a group as if I had been there all my life.My gender (female) was not set by my genitals, nor by my chest size, not even by the length of my hair. My gender was set by my heart, mind and soul. My body is a fragile thing capable of great change whenever and wherever it so pleases me.I am woman, I am all there needs to be, and for that, I am eternally grateful.
    Jun 23, 2011 2966
  • 26 Jan 2011
    Let me know if this 17 part series has been posted before ENJOY!A transgender journey: part oneJuliet Jacques was born a boy, but always knew that something wasn't quite right. In the first of a series of columns charting her gender reassignment process, she describes how she gradually came to terms with her true identityI decided my name should be Juliet when I was 10. It took a further 17 years to let it rise from the back of my mind, where I had swiftly buried it, and become my identity. Don't ask my "real" name [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjqsB1huDxg&feature=PlayList&p=7A5B7276FFBE1153&playnext_from=PL&playnext=1&index=28">Don't ask my "real]: it's not polite.Changing my name was easy - a deed poll costs about ?30. Changing my body is far harder. In Britain, there are two gender reassignment routes: expensive (private) or slow (NHS [http://www.pfc.org.uk/files/BHCPCT.pdf]). Having declined the terms by which I could raise ?30,000 for private treatment, I've chosen slow - which some people feel shouldn't exist. Without it, though, I'd face a lifetime in a body I loathe, being asked to meet social expectations which feel alien to me, creating mental health problems that would require (state-funded) treatment for years, even decades.Beginning the gender reassignment process is the next, admittedly huge, stage in managing my lifelong gender dysphoria [http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/gender-dysphoria/Pages/Introduction.aspx]. Fulfilling the classical transsexual narrative - the one that gender clinics like to hear - I knew I was "different" as a child. My first indication of how came at primary school, when a friend said: "We've got to make you more masculine."Why? I didn't consider myself predominantly masculine or feminine: I liked violent toys (particularly Transformers [http://www.comicartcommunity.com/gallery/data/media/393/ARCEE.jpg] - the irony had not yet become apparent) AND fluffy kittens. I hadn't realised the fundamental role gender plays in most children's development: how it provides both a group to belong to and something to define themselves against, and a base for all future personal development. And all this before most are old enough to question why girls should do X and boys should do Y (or, more often, in both cases, not do).Unlike most of my contemporaries, I had reason to question gender stereotypes. Aged 10, I saw two men cross-dressing on television (I'd love to say it was these two [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvcfIXotmXA&feature=related], but it wasn't [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmcnxCK18rE]), and I felt an irresistible urge to copy them.Putting on a dress, I was floored by a surge of energy. Momentarily, I felt completely at ease: then total confusion. Why was I turned on? Was I a "transvestite"? Did I want a "sex change"? Then fear: what if my family caught me? What if my classmates found out? Nobody must ever know, I told myself, cross-dressing behind closed curtains, panicking when my parents' car pulled up the drive before I'd covered my tracks.Publicly, I struggled to present a convincing masculine persona. First, I became misogynistic, resenting the girls at school who I imagined had an easy, fun relationship between their gender identities and their bodies (little did I realise, aged 13, how utterly absurd that was). Soon, I learned to respect women: I turned my rage on myself, and my inability to feel comfortable in my body, let alone fit in with my peers.I never joined my classmates when they waxed fantastical about who was "fit". I didn't dare admit, even to myself, that I enjoyed cross-dressing and found transgender people attractive (not that I knew the word "transgender" then). I channelled my frustration into football (which became my main concession to masculinity) and fronting a punk band.Isolated, I scoured the mainstream media for like-minded individuals, but it seemed the closest people to me in the public eye were objects of ridicule: Lily Savage or Pauline Calf. I knew I wasn't a drag queen, or a transvestite, but I didn't know what I was. I refused to admit how drawn I was whenever I saw the word "transsexual" - usually in my parents' Daily Mail. Their coverage tended towards stories about greedy transsexuals milking the state or their employers, usually accompanied by cartoons of burly men in floral dresses with stubbly legs (little has changed [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-470183/Transsexual-trucker-hounded-wearing-make-up.html] - note the pronouns).Then I discovered Eddie Izzard [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6npfjWoBCRM], who hilariously normalised cross-dressing, and The Smiths [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46xc3YdOvYA], with their sublime glorification of the outsider. I felt less alone - but I still knew nobody like me in suburban Surrey. The internet was a godsend: at last, I found men who dressed as, or had become, women. Finally, I accepted myself. Moving to college, I was ready to come out - but as what?I declared myself gay and a cross-dresser: "gay" because although I felt attracted to males who were somehow female, I still considered them men; and "cross-dresser" because it seemed the most innocuous term. I picked a male image off the post-punk peg - spiky hair, raincoat, DM boots and Joy Division T-shirts - and started cross-dressing with female friends, periodically scandalising the people of Horsham (it wasn't difficult) by wearing makeup and women's clothes around town. Mostly, though, I kept my femaleness private: I didn't want my gender to become sensational (at least, not all the time), and presenting as male seemed the easiest option.After two idyllic years, I went to university in Manchester. Now, the city has a vivid transgender scene - including Sparkle [http://www.sparkle.org.uk/], Britain's only national transgender celebration - but I arrived too early. In turn-of-the-millennium Manchester, as elsewhere, trans culture was struggling to achieve visibility within, let alone a distinct identity from, the gay scene made famous by Queer As Folk. I soon realised that men-only clubs weren't for me, gravitating towards Manhattan's, with its cross-dressing barmaids and bizarre opening times, and the Hollywood Showbar. Both featured drag acts, but I rarely saw transgender people there: when I did, they were a small number, often huddled in a corner, nearly always at least 20 years older than me. I created my own spaces, cross-dressing at club nights I organised: I felt accepted by my friends, but lonely, still knowing no trans people.In Brighton one summer, I went out as Juliet for the first time, aged 20. A friend took me to Harlequins, where trans people were made especially welcome (its toilets were designated 'Gents' and 'Ladies/TV/TS'). Its music and decor resembled the campest gay clubs - there were drag acts followed by a hyper-cheese disco. Although I hated the playlist (OK, apart from the numerous guilty pleasures [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XH0SoZNdozs]), I loved the atmosphere, and the liberation it provided: I'd never felt so myself.After graduating, I took a postgraduate course at the University of Sussex. Feeling more comfortable, I became more open about my 'cross-dressing', but I was only just discovering the deliberately vague, all-encompassing transgender identity theorised in the 90s by Leslie Feinberg [http://www.transgenderwarrior.org/about.html], Kate Bornstein [http://www.katebornstein.com/KatePages/kate_bornstein.htm] and others - all cornerstones of Sussex's Gender Studies MA programme (which I neglected in favour of Literature and Visual Culture).Feeling more at home in Brighton, I finally acted on my belief that I was a gay man. I had two brief relationships with men, both of which foundered on their sexual disinclination towards my irrepressible femininity. I realised that the reason I didn't fit into the gay scene was because I was not a gay man. Instead, I finally admitted to myself that I must fit somewhere on the daunting, ill-defined CD/TV/TS spectrum. But where?
    2890 Posted by Tracy Leanne Edwards
  • Let me know if this 17 part series has been posted before ENJOY!A transgender journey: part oneJuliet Jacques was born a boy, but always knew that something wasn't quite right. In the first of a series of columns charting her gender reassignment process, she describes how she gradually came to terms with her true identityI decided my name should be Juliet when I was 10. It took a further 17 years to let it rise from the back of my mind, where I had swiftly buried it, and become my identity. Don't ask my "real" name [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjqsB1huDxg&feature=PlayList&p=7A5B7276FFBE1153&playnext_from=PL&playnext=1&index=28">Don't ask my "real]: it's not polite.Changing my name was easy - a deed poll costs about ?30. Changing my body is far harder. In Britain, there are two gender reassignment routes: expensive (private) or slow (NHS [http://www.pfc.org.uk/files/BHCPCT.pdf]). Having declined the terms by which I could raise ?30,000 for private treatment, I've chosen slow - which some people feel shouldn't exist. Without it, though, I'd face a lifetime in a body I loathe, being asked to meet social expectations which feel alien to me, creating mental health problems that would require (state-funded) treatment for years, even decades.Beginning the gender reassignment process is the next, admittedly huge, stage in managing my lifelong gender dysphoria [http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/gender-dysphoria/Pages/Introduction.aspx]. Fulfilling the classical transsexual narrative - the one that gender clinics like to hear - I knew I was "different" as a child. My first indication of how came at primary school, when a friend said: "We've got to make you more masculine."Why? I didn't consider myself predominantly masculine or feminine: I liked violent toys (particularly Transformers [http://www.comicartcommunity.com/gallery/data/media/393/ARCEE.jpg] - the irony had not yet become apparent) AND fluffy kittens. I hadn't realised the fundamental role gender plays in most children's development: how it provides both a group to belong to and something to define themselves against, and a base for all future personal development. And all this before most are old enough to question why girls should do X and boys should do Y (or, more often, in both cases, not do).Unlike most of my contemporaries, I had reason to question gender stereotypes. Aged 10, I saw two men cross-dressing on television (I'd love to say it was these two [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvcfIXotmXA&feature=related], but it wasn't [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmcnxCK18rE]), and I felt an irresistible urge to copy them.Putting on a dress, I was floored by a surge of energy. Momentarily, I felt completely at ease: then total confusion. Why was I turned on? Was I a "transvestite"? Did I want a "sex change"? Then fear: what if my family caught me? What if my classmates found out? Nobody must ever know, I told myself, cross-dressing behind closed curtains, panicking when my parents' car pulled up the drive before I'd covered my tracks.Publicly, I struggled to present a convincing masculine persona. First, I became misogynistic, resenting the girls at school who I imagined had an easy, fun relationship between their gender identities and their bodies (little did I realise, aged 13, how utterly absurd that was). Soon, I learned to respect women: I turned my rage on myself, and my inability to feel comfortable in my body, let alone fit in with my peers.I never joined my classmates when they waxed fantastical about who was "fit". I didn't dare admit, even to myself, that I enjoyed cross-dressing and found transgender people attractive (not that I knew the word "transgender" then). I channelled my frustration into football (which became my main concession to masculinity) and fronting a punk band.Isolated, I scoured the mainstream media for like-minded individuals, but it seemed the closest people to me in the public eye were objects of ridicule: Lily Savage or Pauline Calf. I knew I wasn't a drag queen, or a transvestite, but I didn't know what I was. I refused to admit how drawn I was whenever I saw the word "transsexual" - usually in my parents' Daily Mail. Their coverage tended towards stories about greedy transsexuals milking the state or their employers, usually accompanied by cartoons of burly men in floral dresses with stubbly legs (little has changed [http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-470183/Transsexual-trucker-hounded-wearing-make-up.html] - note the pronouns).Then I discovered Eddie Izzard [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6npfjWoBCRM], who hilariously normalised cross-dressing, and The Smiths [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46xc3YdOvYA], with their sublime glorification of the outsider. I felt less alone - but I still knew nobody like me in suburban Surrey. The internet was a godsend: at last, I found men who dressed as, or had become, women. Finally, I accepted myself. Moving to college, I was ready to come out - but as what?I declared myself gay and a cross-dresser: "gay" because although I felt attracted to males who were somehow female, I still considered them men; and "cross-dresser" because it seemed the most innocuous term. I picked a male image off the post-punk peg - spiky hair, raincoat, DM boots and Joy Division T-shirts - and started cross-dressing with female friends, periodically scandalising the people of Horsham (it wasn't difficult) by wearing makeup and women's clothes around town. Mostly, though, I kept my femaleness private: I didn't want my gender to become sensational (at least, not all the time), and presenting as male seemed the easiest option.After two idyllic years, I went to university in Manchester. Now, the city has a vivid transgender scene - including Sparkle [http://www.sparkle.org.uk/], Britain's only national transgender celebration - but I arrived too early. In turn-of-the-millennium Manchester, as elsewhere, trans culture was struggling to achieve visibility within, let alone a distinct identity from, the gay scene made famous by Queer As Folk. I soon realised that men-only clubs weren't for me, gravitating towards Manhattan's, with its cross-dressing barmaids and bizarre opening times, and the Hollywood Showbar. Both featured drag acts, but I rarely saw transgender people there: when I did, they were a small number, often huddled in a corner, nearly always at least 20 years older than me. I created my own spaces, cross-dressing at club nights I organised: I felt accepted by my friends, but lonely, still knowing no trans people.In Brighton one summer, I went out as Juliet for the first time, aged 20. A friend took me to Harlequins, where trans people were made especially welcome (its toilets were designated 'Gents' and 'Ladies/TV/TS'). Its music and decor resembled the campest gay clubs - there were drag acts followed by a hyper-cheese disco. Although I hated the playlist (OK, apart from the numerous guilty pleasures [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XH0SoZNdozs]), I loved the atmosphere, and the liberation it provided: I'd never felt so myself.After graduating, I took a postgraduate course at the University of Sussex. Feeling more comfortable, I became more open about my 'cross-dressing', but I was only just discovering the deliberately vague, all-encompassing transgender identity theorised in the 90s by Leslie Feinberg [http://www.transgenderwarrior.org/about.html], Kate Bornstein [http://www.katebornstein.com/KatePages/kate_bornstein.htm] and others - all cornerstones of Sussex's Gender Studies MA programme (which I neglected in favour of Literature and Visual Culture).Feeling more at home in Brighton, I finally acted on my belief that I was a gay man. I had two brief relationships with men, both of which foundered on their sexual disinclination towards my irrepressible femininity. I realised that the reason I didn't fit into the gay scene was because I was not a gay man. Instead, I finally admitted to myself that I must fit somewhere on the daunting, ill-defined CD/TV/TS spectrum. But where?
    Jan 26, 2011 2890
  • 01 Oct 2008
    Well ..............You'll probably know that, sometimes, things for me are relatively quiet, but at other times, things just get so hectic, I hardly have time to think !!So, after a fairly relaxed time after my little break a few weeks ago, suddenly, things have gone a bit "mental" !!As I told you in my last blog enry, I'm now refurbishing a house I have on the rental market ............ going up there tomorrow for a few days ............ and that will go on for about the next month, or so, then I've got to get it re-let. On top of that, we're pretty busy at the moment at work. There's a lot going on at present, that is taking up a lot of my time, and also some of my "off" time, but, if I get it done now, then at least things should be back to normality in a few weeks!But, what I hadn't planned for, is that there are certain "family matters" going on at present (nothing to do with any TG problems, by the way!), and they are taking up a lot of time and effort on my part, to get them sorted! Unfortunately, I'm the only one who can do this, for legal reasons, so I just feel at times that I'm "chasing my own tail"! Every time I think that I've managed to clear one hurdle, the phone goes, and another problem raises it's ugly head!Between me, my solicitor and my accountant, we're really getting frustrated with the inaction or inability of other people to do there jobs right !!So, at times, I really think that I need what could be called, a few "leap-days" !!  (If you can have a year, now and again, that's a day longer, why not a day that's longer ......... a leap-day ?)!  At least then I might be able to fit in everything that needs to be done in each day !!!!  But, unfortunately, there are only 24 hours in 1 day, so I'll just have to work my (not so) little butt off even harder !! If only, when you phone someone, they were, at least in their office, and not "away for the day on a course" or "taking a half day off" !!  Or any other reason that you get delayed for yet another day, when you need the information now, so you can pass it on to the next person down the line !! It's so frustrating !!!You're trying to get things done, yet, through no fault of your own, you get held up at every stage !!!Ohhhhhh ................. I do get mad sometimes !!!Hugs,Angela.  xxx.
    2865 Posted by Angela Louise
  • Well ..............You'll probably know that, sometimes, things for me are relatively quiet, but at other times, things just get so hectic, I hardly have time to think !!So, after a fairly relaxed time after my little break a few weeks ago, suddenly, things have gone a bit "mental" !!As I told you in my last blog enry, I'm now refurbishing a house I have on the rental market ............ going up there tomorrow for a few days ............ and that will go on for about the next month, or so, then I've got to get it re-let. On top of that, we're pretty busy at the moment at work. There's a lot going on at present, that is taking up a lot of my time, and also some of my "off" time, but, if I get it done now, then at least things should be back to normality in a few weeks!But, what I hadn't planned for, is that there are certain "family matters" going on at present (nothing to do with any TG problems, by the way!), and they are taking up a lot of time and effort on my part, to get them sorted! Unfortunately, I'm the only one who can do this, for legal reasons, so I just feel at times that I'm "chasing my own tail"! Every time I think that I've managed to clear one hurdle, the phone goes, and another problem raises it's ugly head!Between me, my solicitor and my accountant, we're really getting frustrated with the inaction or inability of other people to do there jobs right !!So, at times, I really think that I need what could be called, a few "leap-days" !!  (If you can have a year, now and again, that's a day longer, why not a day that's longer ......... a leap-day ?)!  At least then I might be able to fit in everything that needs to be done in each day !!!!  But, unfortunately, there are only 24 hours in 1 day, so I'll just have to work my (not so) little butt off even harder !! If only, when you phone someone, they were, at least in their office, and not "away for the day on a course" or "taking a half day off" !!  Or any other reason that you get delayed for yet another day, when you need the information now, so you can pass it on to the next person down the line !! It's so frustrating !!!You're trying to get things done, yet, through no fault of your own, you get held up at every stage !!!Ohhhhhh ................. I do get mad sometimes !!!Hugs,Angela.  xxx.
    Oct 01, 2008 2865
  • 18 Mar 2012
    Hey all, I'm afraid I've got some bad news, actually bad doesn't even begin to describe it, its down right awful. As many of you may know I am at the begining steps of my transition and so far things have moved along fairly well, until now. My parents do not like the idea at all and as I am still dependent on them their opinion of me means everything at this point. My parents have decided that I should no longer have anything to do with the trans community because they think it has influenced my decision making and has clouded my judgement of who and what I am. This means no going out, dressing in private, support groups, and what I consider probably the most painful no more GS. While it breaks my heart and I am crying while writing this I have decided to accept their challenge if only to prove to them that this is who I really am even without all of the clothes and friends I am still and always will be a girl if only on the inside at this point. As such many of you may not hear from me again for a few months, I just wanted all of you to know that I was ok and that I will be back, hopefully this will be sooner rather than later, I love you all and you have been an instrumental part of my life that helped and supported me through some very dark times but I have to do this if not just too prove that this is real to my family and maybe even to myself. You are all wonderful people and this is a wonderful site and I am counting down the days until I can come back to it, feel free to email me at masibranch@yahoo.com if there is anything important you need to tell me but otherwise I will not be accessing any other ways of communication for a while. So with that I must say goodbye for now, hopefully when I come back I'll be a better person and a better woman because of it. Forever and always, Masi xxxxxxxxxxx
    2850 Posted by Maci Branch
  • Hey all, I'm afraid I've got some bad news, actually bad doesn't even begin to describe it, its down right awful. As many of you may know I am at the begining steps of my transition and so far things have moved along fairly well, until now. My parents do not like the idea at all and as I am still dependent on them their opinion of me means everything at this point. My parents have decided that I should no longer have anything to do with the trans community because they think it has influenced my decision making and has clouded my judgement of who and what I am. This means no going out, dressing in private, support groups, and what I consider probably the most painful no more GS. While it breaks my heart and I am crying while writing this I have decided to accept their challenge if only to prove to them that this is who I really am even without all of the clothes and friends I am still and always will be a girl if only on the inside at this point. As such many of you may not hear from me again for a few months, I just wanted all of you to know that I was ok and that I will be back, hopefully this will be sooner rather than later, I love you all and you have been an instrumental part of my life that helped and supported me through some very dark times but I have to do this if not just too prove that this is real to my family and maybe even to myself. You are all wonderful people and this is a wonderful site and I am counting down the days until I can come back to it, feel free to email me at masibranch@yahoo.com if there is anything important you need to tell me but otherwise I will not be accessing any other ways of communication for a while. So with that I must say goodbye for now, hopefully when I come back I'll be a better person and a better woman because of it. Forever and always, Masi xxxxxxxxxxx
    Mar 18, 2012 2850
  • 20 Oct 2015
    I am sitting here in panties, yoga pants, and a cute little blue t-shirt top with cropped arms and sailboats emblazoned across the front. Not the sexiest outfit in the world, but I’m not looking for sex. Just doing laundry and cooking some dinner. Like any other woman in the world. Whether we admit it or not, how we dress can be an important component to our identities as transwomen. And, how transwomen dress is the subject of so many stereotypes and cliches that folks are often disturbed to find out that most of us dress like plain ol’ regular everyday women. Sure, those stereotypes and cliches do exist, and that is okay. There is room enough for all of us in this gargantuan tent known as gender identity. However, there is a point for many of us at which the clothing choices cease to have any bearing on our gender identity. (I’ve changed clothes, by the way. Unflattering pajama pants and a sports team t-shirt. Dinner is done, the dishes are washed. Laundry is still going.) When I was five-years-old, I slipped on a pair of my mom’s flats and walked into the living where where she and my dad sat watching television with my little brother. I looked up at my mom, and said, “I want to be a girl.” Her response was to ask me why. I told her, “Because they get to wear all the good clothes.” At five-years-old, clothes represented everything I knew about girls. Everything. I had no idea about their genitalia, and it being sooooo many years prior to the Internet, I had no way of find out. Girls wore pretty clothes. They jumped rope. They told secrets to each other. Girls were pretty. I really wanted to be a pretty girl. Fast forward about forty years or so. I am working in Saudi Arabia, where transgenderism can get you thrown in prison and awarded a multitude of lashes to be meted out in public. I had no girl clothes. Life hadn’t gone the way I planned, and I never became the woman I wanted to be. I fell in love and was working to ensure life went well for others. But, my female identity didn’t disappear. In fact, if anything, it strengthened because I realized that being female was who I was. As a person. Clothes didn’t matter. Breasts didn’t matter. Genitalia didn’t matter. I was - I am - a woman. Clothes are, and always will be, an important part of the transgender community. We all love to get gussied up and go out. For some, the clothes are the thing. For others, the facade is the thing. For still others, they’re simply clothes.
    2830 Posted by Jessi Grace
  • I am sitting here in panties, yoga pants, and a cute little blue t-shirt top with cropped arms and sailboats emblazoned across the front. Not the sexiest outfit in the world, but I’m not looking for sex. Just doing laundry and cooking some dinner. Like any other woman in the world. Whether we admit it or not, how we dress can be an important component to our identities as transwomen. And, how transwomen dress is the subject of so many stereotypes and cliches that folks are often disturbed to find out that most of us dress like plain ol’ regular everyday women. Sure, those stereotypes and cliches do exist, and that is okay. There is room enough for all of us in this gargantuan tent known as gender identity. However, there is a point for many of us at which the clothing choices cease to have any bearing on our gender identity. (I’ve changed clothes, by the way. Unflattering pajama pants and a sports team t-shirt. Dinner is done, the dishes are washed. Laundry is still going.) When I was five-years-old, I slipped on a pair of my mom’s flats and walked into the living where where she and my dad sat watching television with my little brother. I looked up at my mom, and said, “I want to be a girl.” Her response was to ask me why. I told her, “Because they get to wear all the good clothes.” At five-years-old, clothes represented everything I knew about girls. Everything. I had no idea about their genitalia, and it being sooooo many years prior to the Internet, I had no way of find out. Girls wore pretty clothes. They jumped rope. They told secrets to each other. Girls were pretty. I really wanted to be a pretty girl. Fast forward about forty years or so. I am working in Saudi Arabia, where transgenderism can get you thrown in prison and awarded a multitude of lashes to be meted out in public. I had no girl clothes. Life hadn’t gone the way I planned, and I never became the woman I wanted to be. I fell in love and was working to ensure life went well for others. But, my female identity didn’t disappear. In fact, if anything, it strengthened because I realized that being female was who I was. As a person. Clothes didn’t matter. Breasts didn’t matter. Genitalia didn’t matter. I was - I am - a woman. Clothes are, and always will be, an important part of the transgender community. We all love to get gussied up and go out. For some, the clothes are the thing. For others, the facade is the thing. For still others, they’re simply clothes.
    Oct 20, 2015 2830
  • 10 Apr 2011
    And so dear reader, the "Soft Launch" continues.  We had hoped that we could have a big new site launch party in a blaze of publicity this weekend but alas, it was not to be. The trouble is down to the membership subscription system which appears to be suffering from various teething problems and refuses to allow some members to upgrade or it will upgrade them and then lock them out of the site.  Even the administrator (ie me) can't re-enable their accounts. So, we have to wait for the developers to come back into work tomorrow in the hope that they can fix it. I am at least pleased that we have managed to move on quite a lot in the last week and that the site is now live after months of work.  The initial problems on launch were fixed within about 24 hours and the page load times have improved greatly with an average load time currently of just under 5 seconds.  I think that's pretty good.  Even Facebook would be happy about that kind of speed. Once we get this last big hurdle out of the way (the membership probs) we should be good to go. And thanks for your support during this difficult but exciting time. Hugs, Katie   x
    2829 Posted by Katie Glover
  • And so dear reader, the "Soft Launch" continues.  We had hoped that we could have a big new site launch party in a blaze of publicity this weekend but alas, it was not to be. The trouble is down to the membership subscription system which appears to be suffering from various teething problems and refuses to allow some members to upgrade or it will upgrade them and then lock them out of the site.  Even the administrator (ie me) can't re-enable their accounts. So, we have to wait for the developers to come back into work tomorrow in the hope that they can fix it. I am at least pleased that we have managed to move on quite a lot in the last week and that the site is now live after months of work.  The initial problems on launch were fixed within about 24 hours and the page load times have improved greatly with an average load time currently of just under 5 seconds.  I think that's pretty good.  Even Facebook would be happy about that kind of speed. Once we get this last big hurdle out of the way (the membership probs) we should be good to go. And thanks for your support during this difficult but exciting time. Hugs, Katie   x
    Apr 10, 2011 2829
  • 30 May 2011
    Filed By Kelley Winters, PhD  http://www.bilerico.com/contributors/kelley_winters/May 28, 2011 10:00 AM | 28 comments  http://www.bilerico.com/2011/05/transvestic_disorder_the_overlooked_anti-trans_dia_1.php#commentsOn May 5, the American Psychiatric Association released a second round of proposed diagnostic criteria for the 5th Edition of The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). These include two categories that impact the trans community: Gender Dysphoria (formerly Gender Identity Disorder) and Transvestic Disorder (formerly Transvestic Fetishism).While GID has received a great deal of attention in the press and from GLBTQ advocates, the second transvestic category is too often overlooked. This is unfortunate, because a diagnosis of Transvestic Disorder is designed to punish social and sexual gender nonconformity and to enforce binary stereotypes of assigned birth sex. It plays no role in enabling access to medical transition care for those who need it, and it is frequently cited when care is denied.http://www.gidreform.org/blog2010Oct15.htmlI urge all trans community members, friends, care providers, and allies to call for the removal of this punitive and scientifically unfounded diagnosis from the DSM-5. The current period for public comment to the APA ends June 15.The entry in the current DSM on Transvestic Disorder, like the former entry on Transvestic Fetishism, is authored by Dr. Ray Blanchard of the Toronto Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (formerly known as the Clarke Institute). Blanchard has drawn outrage from the transcommunity for his defamatory theory of autogynephilia, http://www.gidreform.org/blog2008Nov10.htmlasserting that all transsexual women who are not exclusively attracted to males are motivated to transition by self-obsessed sexual fetishism. He is canonizing this harmful stereotype of transsexual women in the DSM-5 by adding an autogynephilia specifier to the Transvestic Disorder diagnosis.http://www.dsm5.org/ProposedRevision/Pages/proposedrevision.aspx?rid=189#Worse yet, Blanchard has broadly expanded the diagnosis to implicate gender-nonconforming people of all sexes and all sexual orientations, even inventing an autoandrophilia specifier to smear transsexual men. Most recently, he has added an "In Remission" specifier to preclude the possibility of exit from diagnosis. Like a roach motel, there may be no way out of the Transvestic Disorder diagnosis once ensnared.What You Can Do Now1. Go to the http://www.dsm5.org/ProposedRevision/Pages/proposedrevision.aspx?rid=189#APA DSM-5 website, click on "Register Now," create a user account, and enter your statement in the box. The deadline for this second period of public comment is June 15.[NOTE: Safari may not load that web page.  Use Firefox or another Browser instead]2. Sign the Petition to Remove Transvestic Disorder from the DSM-5, sponsored by the International Foundation for Gender Education.http://dsm.ifge.org/petition/3. Demand that your local, national, and international GLBTQ nonprofit organizations issue public statements calling for the removal of this defamatory Transvestic Disorder category from the DSM-5. So far, very few have.4. Spread the word to your networks, friends, and allies.http://www.gidreform.org/blog2010Oct15.html for More InformationCross-posted with additional comments at the http://gidreform.wordpress.com/2011/05/26/transvestic-disorder-the-overlooked-anti-trans-diagnosis-in-the-dsm-5/GID Reform Advocates Blog.
    2816 Posted by Traci Lee O'Gara
  • Filed By Kelley Winters, PhD  http://www.bilerico.com/contributors/kelley_winters/May 28, 2011 10:00 AM | 28 comments  http://www.bilerico.com/2011/05/transvestic_disorder_the_overlooked_anti-trans_dia_1.php#commentsOn May 5, the American Psychiatric Association released a second round of proposed diagnostic criteria for the 5th Edition of The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). These include two categories that impact the trans community: Gender Dysphoria (formerly Gender Identity Disorder) and Transvestic Disorder (formerly Transvestic Fetishism).While GID has received a great deal of attention in the press and from GLBTQ advocates, the second transvestic category is too often overlooked. This is unfortunate, because a diagnosis of Transvestic Disorder is designed to punish social and sexual gender nonconformity and to enforce binary stereotypes of assigned birth sex. It plays no role in enabling access to medical transition care for those who need it, and it is frequently cited when care is denied.http://www.gidreform.org/blog2010Oct15.htmlI urge all trans community members, friends, care providers, and allies to call for the removal of this punitive and scientifically unfounded diagnosis from the DSM-5. The current period for public comment to the APA ends June 15.The entry in the current DSM on Transvestic Disorder, like the former entry on Transvestic Fetishism, is authored by Dr. Ray Blanchard of the Toronto Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (formerly known as the Clarke Institute). Blanchard has drawn outrage from the transcommunity for his defamatory theory of autogynephilia, http://www.gidreform.org/blog2008Nov10.htmlasserting that all transsexual women who are not exclusively attracted to males are motivated to transition by self-obsessed sexual fetishism. He is canonizing this harmful stereotype of transsexual women in the DSM-5 by adding an autogynephilia specifier to the Transvestic Disorder diagnosis.http://www.dsm5.org/ProposedRevision/Pages/proposedrevision.aspx?rid=189#Worse yet, Blanchard has broadly expanded the diagnosis to implicate gender-nonconforming people of all sexes and all sexual orientations, even inventing an autoandrophilia specifier to smear transsexual men. Most recently, he has added an "In Remission" specifier to preclude the possibility of exit from diagnosis. Like a roach motel, there may be no way out of the Transvestic Disorder diagnosis once ensnared.What You Can Do Now1. Go to the http://www.dsm5.org/ProposedRevision/Pages/proposedrevision.aspx?rid=189#APA DSM-5 website, click on "Register Now," create a user account, and enter your statement in the box. The deadline for this second period of public comment is June 15.[NOTE: Safari may not load that web page.  Use Firefox or another Browser instead]2. Sign the Petition to Remove Transvestic Disorder from the DSM-5, sponsored by the International Foundation for Gender Education.http://dsm.ifge.org/petition/3. Demand that your local, national, and international GLBTQ nonprofit organizations issue public statements calling for the removal of this defamatory Transvestic Disorder category from the DSM-5. So far, very few have.4. Spread the word to your networks, friends, and allies.http://www.gidreform.org/blog2010Oct15.html for More InformationCross-posted with additional comments at the http://gidreform.wordpress.com/2011/05/26/transvestic-disorder-the-overlooked-anti-trans-diagnosis-in-the-dsm-5/GID Reform Advocates Blog.
    May 30, 2011 2816