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  • 16 Oct 2009
    Here's some brief updates -Been in my new place for a month.  It's been working out fine, even though I have to get used to having a roommate again.  It's nice to be able to park right in front of where I live rather than blocks away.I go to Detroit next week to chair a panel at THE premier labor history conference.  My school is paying for it through their Faculty Development Fund.  Plus, I'll get to hang out with Karen Brad, something we haven't done in almost four years.I finally received copies of my book.  Look for an announcement about that soon.Me and Josie are doing just fine.  She really helped me out when I needed it.Getting new book proposals out there.  I hope to sign some contracts soon.I still don't have internet at my new place, so I get here when I can.The ex-wfe is being a bitch again.Mere
    1855 Posted by Meredith Newton
  • Here's some brief updates -Been in my new place for a month.  It's been working out fine, even though I have to get used to having a roommate again.  It's nice to be able to park right in front of where I live rather than blocks away.I go to Detroit next week to chair a panel at THE premier labor history conference.  My school is paying for it through their Faculty Development Fund.  Plus, I'll get to hang out with Karen Brad, something we haven't done in almost four years.I finally received copies of my book.  Look for an announcement about that soon.Me and Josie are doing just fine.  She really helped me out when I needed it.Getting new book proposals out there.  I hope to sign some contracts soon.I still don't have internet at my new place, so I get here when I can.The ex-wfe is being a bitch again.Mere
    Oct 16, 2009 1855
  • 10 Jan 2009
    well as some of you no im supouse to be in manc by now and im not , as some of you no im part of the team who run papillon do we contiue with it ...? do i continue with me .....? is all the heart ache and crap ive been through in the last 4 and a bit years realry worth it for the plus`s
    1832 Posted by christina dearlove
  • well as some of you no im supouse to be in manc by now and im not , as some of you no im part of the team who run papillon do we contiue with it ...? do i continue with me .....? is all the heart ache and crap ive been through in the last 4 and a bit years realry worth it for the plus`s
    Jan 10, 2009 1832
  • 25 Apr 2009
    I'm getting really fed up with charing cross's attitude towards me. At the beginning of April i should have gone to see Dr Lorimer but culdnt make it, so i wrote to him & explained my financial situation to him, that i was having probs getting down to see him. since then i have heard NOTHING at all from him & its really peed me off big-time as i thought he was better than all this.....obvoiusly i was wrong.Its a damn good job i go to a GIC thats closer to me( Norwich) & i see a counsellor there that understands my situation. I honestly dont know how i'd manage without her.
    1820 Posted by Anna-Marie Trindall
  • I'm getting really fed up with charing cross's attitude towards me. At the beginning of April i should have gone to see Dr Lorimer but culdnt make it, so i wrote to him & explained my financial situation to him, that i was having probs getting down to see him. since then i have heard NOTHING at all from him & its really peed me off big-time as i thought he was better than all this.....obvoiusly i was wrong.Its a damn good job i go to a GIC thats closer to me( Norwich) & i see a counsellor there that understands my situation. I honestly dont know how i'd manage without her.
    Apr 25, 2009 1820
  • 29 Oct 2008
    I was coffee, muffin, soft drink and purse in hand as I walked up the sidewalk to my car. It had snowed this morning -- a couple of inches -- and I was going slowly. I was expecting to drop something. A construction worker brushed past me, walking briskly up ahead. He stopped, he paused, he turned."Do you still work at Lee Valley?" he asked. I was amazed. How is that totally across town, someone can identify me?"Yes, I do." I smiled a big smile. He smiled and walked away. I think he was nervous. Ow!! So close to a date. Just kidding.In the grocery store, striding from the milk display toward the bread aready, I approached a very young woman pushing a grocery cart with a young boy in the cart seat - his back to me. The girl glanced at me. I smiled as I walked by."Mommy, look at the BIG GIRL!" came a stong young voice. I had to laugh, it was too cute. I didn't look bad however.I was stopped at the mall by a really pretty young woman. Would I like to join a women's gym? I took the coupon with a smile. Yeah, right!I kept the coupon in my purse and glanced at it once or twice. Mel -- my best friend -- and we went out for coffee. Seizing the opportunity, I asked her to accompany me to the club. I was going to join. As Mel said to my fretting on the trip there, "What can they say? Its discrimination not to accept you." I'm really not the type to lean on points of law. Oh, well.After a brief questionaire about one's aspirations for fitness, the 'tour' came. I thought I might get to see the machines but was totally surprised to be taken through the change room. No, on one was there. Well, one lady was, but she wasn't much to look at. Wow! So does this mean I can join? Yup, it did. So I did. I haven't gone there yet... I'm still working up to that.A friend has a young (4) daughter. Somedays she likes me. Somedays not. Last evening was a liking day. We played Unicorn which involved my 'chasing' her at a glacial pace around her playroom in the basement. She began to laugh. It was the heartiest laugh of a child totally enjoying themselves. I started to cry, realizing in that moment that this was the cost I was paying with my family. Denied access to my neices and nephews, I didn't until that moment realize how massive that lose was.I was invited to dinner by a sister-in-law. She had her two teenage girls join us for dinner. I was surprised. They are shy of course but I was so taken by her willingness to bring me back into the family - or a part of it. I was very, very touched. It was pork with potatoes and green beans.I wonder if I'll ever get a real job, again. Most days I feel very good. There are odd days still where I feel like I have a sign on my back that says, "Was a Guy!". Funny how that happens. Then the next day, I float through feeling perfectly contented.There is a marvellous irony to my life now. Here I am in public -- Ann - boldly going where I please, as I please. Sometimes, I'm looked at and I can feel them thinking, "That's a guy wearing women's clothes." and I don't care. Contrast this with more than 40 years where I did everything possible to prevent even a hint of who I was showing to the public. Wow, what wasted effort.It feels a bit of a celebration to update my blog. I haven't had the chances of before to keep it current or to descend deeply into my thoughts. Don't worry, though, I will.
    1819 Posted by Ann Teve
  • I was coffee, muffin, soft drink and purse in hand as I walked up the sidewalk to my car. It had snowed this morning -- a couple of inches -- and I was going slowly. I was expecting to drop something. A construction worker brushed past me, walking briskly up ahead. He stopped, he paused, he turned."Do you still work at Lee Valley?" he asked. I was amazed. How is that totally across town, someone can identify me?"Yes, I do." I smiled a big smile. He smiled and walked away. I think he was nervous. Ow!! So close to a date. Just kidding.In the grocery store, striding from the milk display toward the bread aready, I approached a very young woman pushing a grocery cart with a young boy in the cart seat - his back to me. The girl glanced at me. I smiled as I walked by."Mommy, look at the BIG GIRL!" came a stong young voice. I had to laugh, it was too cute. I didn't look bad however.I was stopped at the mall by a really pretty young woman. Would I like to join a women's gym? I took the coupon with a smile. Yeah, right!I kept the coupon in my purse and glanced at it once or twice. Mel -- my best friend -- and we went out for coffee. Seizing the opportunity, I asked her to accompany me to the club. I was going to join. As Mel said to my fretting on the trip there, "What can they say? Its discrimination not to accept you." I'm really not the type to lean on points of law. Oh, well.After a brief questionaire about one's aspirations for fitness, the 'tour' came. I thought I might get to see the machines but was totally surprised to be taken through the change room. No, on one was there. Well, one lady was, but she wasn't much to look at. Wow! So does this mean I can join? Yup, it did. So I did. I haven't gone there yet... I'm still working up to that.A friend has a young (4) daughter. Somedays she likes me. Somedays not. Last evening was a liking day. We played Unicorn which involved my 'chasing' her at a glacial pace around her playroom in the basement. She began to laugh. It was the heartiest laugh of a child totally enjoying themselves. I started to cry, realizing in that moment that this was the cost I was paying with my family. Denied access to my neices and nephews, I didn't until that moment realize how massive that lose was.I was invited to dinner by a sister-in-law. She had her two teenage girls join us for dinner. I was surprised. They are shy of course but I was so taken by her willingness to bring me back into the family - or a part of it. I was very, very touched. It was pork with potatoes and green beans.I wonder if I'll ever get a real job, again. Most days I feel very good. There are odd days still where I feel like I have a sign on my back that says, "Was a Guy!". Funny how that happens. Then the next day, I float through feeling perfectly contented.There is a marvellous irony to my life now. Here I am in public -- Ann - boldly going where I please, as I please. Sometimes, I'm looked at and I can feel them thinking, "That's a guy wearing women's clothes." and I don't care. Contrast this with more than 40 years where I did everything possible to prevent even a hint of who I was showing to the public. Wow, what wasted effort.It feels a bit of a celebration to update my blog. I haven't had the chances of before to keep it current or to descend deeply into my thoughts. Don't worry, though, I will.
    Oct 29, 2008 1819
  • 23 Feb 2010
    I still don't have my internet access at home sorted out yet!  Anyhow, here are some quickies (so to speak):I am pretty much fully out at work.  In academia I am almost there.  I am waiting on some word concerning a possible full-time teaching job, so until that happens, and I might need to get a new doctor due to insurance reasons, HRT is once again put on hold.  Still, I am out and free.Me and Josie had a great time in New Mexico.AND - a major academic publisher in New York wants to offer me a 2-book contract!  The first will be published later this year.Okay, gotta run to class now.  More later.
    1809 Posted by Meredith Newton
  • I still don't have my internet access at home sorted out yet!  Anyhow, here are some quickies (so to speak):I am pretty much fully out at work.  In academia I am almost there.  I am waiting on some word concerning a possible full-time teaching job, so until that happens, and I might need to get a new doctor due to insurance reasons, HRT is once again put on hold.  Still, I am out and free.Me and Josie had a great time in New Mexico.AND - a major academic publisher in New York wants to offer me a 2-book contract!  The first will be published later this year.Okay, gotta run to class now.  More later.
    Feb 23, 2010 1809
  • 10 Apr 2010
    About time too! Laser affects people differently, it hurts me, unlike electrolysis, which I find relaxing. Now though, I have reached the point where the laser can hardly be felt anymore, with the exception of my upper lip which still needs a good bit of treatment. There isn't so much there anymore but for girls like us, it is the most stubborn area to treat. Nearly there though, and hopefully will be totally hair free by the end of the year. At least what little there is now is easily hidden.I resist thinking about how much I have spent on these treatments, but it's an awful lot. However, without it, I could never have set foot outside, let alone be the girl I am today so that makes it worth every penny. Nikki
    1804 Posted by Nikki Hollm
  • About time too! Laser affects people differently, it hurts me, unlike electrolysis, which I find relaxing. Now though, I have reached the point where the laser can hardly be felt anymore, with the exception of my upper lip which still needs a good bit of treatment. There isn't so much there anymore but for girls like us, it is the most stubborn area to treat. Nearly there though, and hopefully will be totally hair free by the end of the year. At least what little there is now is easily hidden.I resist thinking about how much I have spent on these treatments, but it's an awful lot. However, without it, I could never have set foot outside, let alone be the girl I am today so that makes it worth every penny. Nikki
    Apr 10, 2010 1804
  • 10 Aug 2008
    HOW TO PROPERLY PLACE NEW EMPLOYEES1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room.2. Put your new hires in the room and close the door.3. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours.4. Then analyze the situation:a. If they are counting the bricks, put them in the Accounting Department.b. If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.c. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put themin Engineering.d. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put themin Planning. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.f. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.g. If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them inInformation Technology.h. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.i. If they say they have tried different combinations, they are>>looking for more,yet not a brick has been moved, put them inSales.j. If they have already left for the day, put them in Management.k. If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic lanning.l. If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick hasbeen moved, congratulate them and put them in Top Management.m. Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in sucha way that they can neither be seen nor heard from, put themin Parliament.
    1794 Posted by christina dearlove
  • HOW TO PROPERLY PLACE NEW EMPLOYEES1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room.2. Put your new hires in the room and close the door.3. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours.4. Then analyze the situation:a. If they are counting the bricks, put them in the Accounting Department.b. If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.c. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put themin Engineering.d. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put themin Planning. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.f. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.g. If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them inInformation Technology.h. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.i. If they say they have tried different combinations, they are>>looking for more,yet not a brick has been moved, put them inSales.j. If they have already left for the day, put them in Management.k. If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic lanning.l. If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick hasbeen moved, congratulate them and put them in Top Management.m. Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in sucha way that they can neither be seen nor heard from, put themin Parliament.
    Aug 10, 2008 1794
  • 01 Feb 2009
    Well i had 5 fabby nites in london the other week which is rearly woken me up to who i am , to the point of im now waiting for councilling and on prozac .Also back in work aswell which is ok job nothing to shout about but has bought more medical issues with me to light so also on pills for them lol so all in all yeah im happy , but im depressed and also happy
    1788 Posted by christina dearlove
  • Well i had 5 fabby nites in london the other week which is rearly woken me up to who i am , to the point of im now waiting for councilling and on prozac .Also back in work aswell which is ok job nothing to shout about but has bought more medical issues with me to light so also on pills for them lol so all in all yeah im happy , but im depressed and also happy
    Feb 01, 2009 1788
  • 07 Jul 2008
    Well sparkle was just over a week ago adn was a wicked weekend with 3 real fab friends , wicked weekend was had by all and was good to meet some of you T web peeps whist there . Why blues well back to normal crap life , i no i can have more than this , and i want more than wot ive got , i need a fresh start a new life . No im not leaving and going back in the closet far from it , im looking into moving north with a friend and ive enroled in a beauty deplomaFRIENDS FOR EVER ( thankies Traci for taking this piccie you should of been in it with us )
    1785 Posted by christina dearlove
  • Well sparkle was just over a week ago adn was a wicked weekend with 3 real fab friends , wicked weekend was had by all and was good to meet some of you T web peeps whist there . Why blues well back to normal crap life , i no i can have more than this , and i want more than wot ive got , i need a fresh start a new life . No im not leaving and going back in the closet far from it , im looking into moving north with a friend and ive enroled in a beauty deplomaFRIENDS FOR EVER ( thankies Traci for taking this piccie you should of been in it with us )
    Jul 07, 2008 1785
  • 03 Dec 2015
    This blog takes into consideration a) that all textbooks and similar publications on any scientific or medical matter are generally 'out-of'date' at the point of printing b) that I am a Registered Medical Practitioner c) my Pychiatric training was at an under-graduate level d) that bias is introduced to this blog, as a result of self-interest. I am a Transsexual ( Gender Dysohoria, historically described as 'Gender Identity Disorder 0, and have been professionally fully assessed and given the WHO ICD code of F64.0.I will dwell on this group no further. Transgender: This group, and the above sub-division, embrace individuals who assign themselves to the cross-dressing group. I do not propose to dwell on either, but would be plesased to elaborate on my personal views in the future.  In our Trans Groups are a whole spectrum of members, often confused as to which 'box' assigned by a 'well-meaning' Society to jump in to. This 'need' is irrelevant, as we are all 'cast adrift', by the same 'caring Society' in a rowing boat with just a sextant for help. As a senior member of the two groups, I am asked to help, on occasions. My working module is fluid, adaptable in light of new evidence, personal to me: and, open to consructive critisism.For those interested, here it is, naked as the day it was born with all defects, scars and blemishes visible and open to scrutiny: DRAG Individuals: Mainly males having 'a bit of fun' Exaggerated female features make-up and dress a) Queens/Kings b)Pantomine (Travesti) Dames (single sex entertainment groups) c) Faux Queens, females imitating drag queens. CROSS-DRESSER: Not a psychological problem unless it interferes with relationships/work etc. The term implies no specific cause for this behaviour. Accoutrements/clothes are generally associated with the opposite sex in any given society. A) Comfort b) Self expression/actualisation c) Disguise:1/ entertainment plot device 2/ Women wanting employment in men-only occupations 3/ Males escaping military service, Police etc. 4/ Protest (Political or Social) in support of a majority group from the opposite sex (eg. Rebecca Riots). Genderfuck: Males in female attire with noticeable male features, such as a Father Xmas beard. TRANSVESTITISM or TRANSVESTISM (also see cross-dressing, above): Participants may be Hetero-sexual, Gay, Lesbian, Bi-gender or Asexual. this term is often associated, by the professionals who originally ( unwisely in my opinion ) defined it, with sexual arousal on donning the relevant garments. This loose and ill-defined term is considered highly derogatory by any person whose self (or professional) appraisal is that they have Transgender status. BIGENDER/DUAL GENDER: A high incidence of Bipolar-disorder (9 of 32 in one study) and Ambidextrous nature have been stated. Individuals find the switch is involuntary, in the main; and, occurs frequently when they conciously prefer to be in the other gender/ behaviour pattern.Some identify 2 or more distinct male and female personas, or 2 genders simultaneously.Studies indicate that this is rare in the Gender community (less than 3% males and 8% females: 1999 study from the Health Dept., San Francisco)). GENDER FLUIDITY:Individuals appear generally not to have the 'switch mechanism' of the Bigender group: experiencing an entire range or spectrum of gender identity without jumping in and out of fixed gender identities; and this takes place over an extended period. TRANSVESTIC FETISHISM ( A DIAGNOSTIC "PARAPHILIA"): this is the only Gender Variant presently defined by the APA as a Psychiatric Disorder; and, with this current label, you don't want or need this diagnosis. DSM-IV defined this condition as ocurring only in hetero-sexual males: DSM-V defines it as ocurring in both males and females of any sexual persuasion. Individuals have no problem with their assigned gender. They suffer a) Homovestism ( sexual arousal on donning a sex-typical garment), and b) significant and demonstrable impairment/distress of personal, social and/or occupational interaction, merely as a result of compulsive cross-dressing. if these two criteria are met, a diagnosis is confirmed. Behavioural characteristics ( not exclusive to this group, thankfully, and from personal experience )can include: a) the accumulation of sex-typical garments ( shoes and boots, panty-hose, stockings, lingerie ( including brassieres and slips), night attire, bridal gowns and 'baby-doll' attire. b) dressing in individual items, c) the use of dressing-agencies to source/provide the above items, and appropriate/relevant photography. d) The accumulation of a 'portfolio' of appropriate images for personal gratification ( acting out fantasies ) and subsequent internet distribution. Well that's me neatly summed up in a single paragraph: however, please promise not to tell Charing X GIC! KEY words: APA Americann Psychiatric Association: WHO World Health Organisation ICD International Statistical Classification of Disease and associated Disorders. Harriet: MD ChB (VU) LRCP MRCS FCOphth MRCP(UK) FRCS (Eng) FRCOphth FRCSEd Emeritus Professor of Oculo-plastic, Facial-feminisation and Orbital Surgery SUMMARY: I hope that this, my personal voyage around a constantly changing sea, is of some little help to other members, to enlighten and stimulate further comment, study and research. My life-boat has finally beached off a lovely south facing beach of an idyllic 'tropical island' amongst a lovely Transgender community. Where the Cannibals allegedly live over the far side of the unclimbable mountains on the north coast, and are apparantly incapable of building boats (I hope).   
  • This blog takes into consideration a) that all textbooks and similar publications on any scientific or medical matter are generally 'out-of'date' at the point of printing b) that I am a Registered Medical Practitioner c) my Pychiatric training was at an under-graduate level d) that bias is introduced to this blog, as a result of self-interest. I am a Transsexual ( Gender Dysohoria, historically described as 'Gender Identity Disorder 0, and have been professionally fully assessed and given the WHO ICD code of F64.0.I will dwell on this group no further. Transgender: This group, and the above sub-division, embrace individuals who assign themselves to the cross-dressing group. I do not propose to dwell on either, but would be plesased to elaborate on my personal views in the future.  In our Trans Groups are a whole spectrum of members, often confused as to which 'box' assigned by a 'well-meaning' Society to jump in to. This 'need' is irrelevant, as we are all 'cast adrift', by the same 'caring Society' in a rowing boat with just a sextant for help. As a senior member of the two groups, I am asked to help, on occasions. My working module is fluid, adaptable in light of new evidence, personal to me: and, open to consructive critisism.For those interested, here it is, naked as the day it was born with all defects, scars and blemishes visible and open to scrutiny: DRAG Individuals: Mainly males having 'a bit of fun' Exaggerated female features make-up and dress a) Queens/Kings b)Pantomine (Travesti) Dames (single sex entertainment groups) c) Faux Queens, females imitating drag queens. CROSS-DRESSER: Not a psychological problem unless it interferes with relationships/work etc. The term implies no specific cause for this behaviour. Accoutrements/clothes are generally associated with the opposite sex in any given society. A) Comfort b) Self expression/actualisation c) Disguise:1/ entertainment plot device 2/ Women wanting employment in men-only occupations 3/ Males escaping military service, Police etc. 4/ Protest (Political or Social) in support of a majority group from the opposite sex (eg. Rebecca Riots). Genderfuck: Males in female attire with noticeable male features, such as a Father Xmas beard. TRANSVESTITISM or TRANSVESTISM (also see cross-dressing, above): Participants may be Hetero-sexual, Gay, Lesbian, Bi-gender or Asexual. this term is often associated, by the professionals who originally ( unwisely in my opinion ) defined it, with sexual arousal on donning the relevant garments. This loose and ill-defined term is considered highly derogatory by any person whose self (or professional) appraisal is that they have Transgender status. BIGENDER/DUAL GENDER: A high incidence of Bipolar-disorder (9 of 32 in one study) and Ambidextrous nature have been stated. Individuals find the switch is involuntary, in the main; and, occurs frequently when they conciously prefer to be in the other gender/ behaviour pattern.Some identify 2 or more distinct male and female personas, or 2 genders simultaneously.Studies indicate that this is rare in the Gender community (less than 3% males and 8% females: 1999 study from the Health Dept., San Francisco)). GENDER FLUIDITY:Individuals appear generally not to have the 'switch mechanism' of the Bigender group: experiencing an entire range or spectrum of gender identity without jumping in and out of fixed gender identities; and this takes place over an extended period. TRANSVESTIC FETISHISM ( A DIAGNOSTIC "PARAPHILIA"): this is the only Gender Variant presently defined by the APA as a Psychiatric Disorder; and, with this current label, you don't want or need this diagnosis. DSM-IV defined this condition as ocurring only in hetero-sexual males: DSM-V defines it as ocurring in both males and females of any sexual persuasion. Individuals have no problem with their assigned gender. They suffer a) Homovestism ( sexual arousal on donning a sex-typical garment), and b) significant and demonstrable impairment/distress of personal, social and/or occupational interaction, merely as a result of compulsive cross-dressing. if these two criteria are met, a diagnosis is confirmed. Behavioural characteristics ( not exclusive to this group, thankfully, and from personal experience )can include: a) the accumulation of sex-typical garments ( shoes and boots, panty-hose, stockings, lingerie ( including brassieres and slips), night attire, bridal gowns and 'baby-doll' attire. b) dressing in individual items, c) the use of dressing-agencies to source/provide the above items, and appropriate/relevant photography. d) The accumulation of a 'portfolio' of appropriate images for personal gratification ( acting out fantasies ) and subsequent internet distribution. Well that's me neatly summed up in a single paragraph: however, please promise not to tell Charing X GIC! KEY words: APA Americann Psychiatric Association: WHO World Health Organisation ICD International Statistical Classification of Disease and associated Disorders. Harriet: MD ChB (VU) LRCP MRCS FCOphth MRCP(UK) FRCS (Eng) FRCOphth FRCSEd Emeritus Professor of Oculo-plastic, Facial-feminisation and Orbital Surgery SUMMARY: I hope that this, my personal voyage around a constantly changing sea, is of some little help to other members, to enlighten and stimulate further comment, study and research. My life-boat has finally beached off a lovely south facing beach of an idyllic 'tropical island' amongst a lovely Transgender community. Where the Cannibals allegedly live over the far side of the unclimbable mountains on the north coast, and are apparantly incapable of building boats (I hope).   
    Dec 03, 2015 1785