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    • July 18, 2018 9:52 PM BST
    • If you've taken the time to tuck,shave all over,use makeup and if you have a good female hairstyle or wig and clothes with prosthetics,plus other touches like pierced ears,and there are tutorials on female gait,speech and gestures,you might find that people aren't that inquisitive or curious. If you're duded up as a woman they'll assume you are! There might be 1 or 2 people who read you,but those people usually have enough sense not to say anything because it could cause a big fracas and nobody wants that. Maybe this sounds strange but guys in drag or shall we say "TVs" may possibly be the next coming big thing. Entertaining at Suburban Parties and special ocaisions!

    • June 2, 2018 7:10 PM BST
    • And on the flip side, a vast amount of women can't cross their legs just as many men can't.

      None of the women on either my mums or dads side of the family were ever able to from what I was told, so its another one of those stereotypical perceptions many try to buy into to feel more lady like.

    • May 28, 2018 4:24 PM BST
    • Excellent example from Taylor, the girls I know who have had SRS myself included, do not have a problem crossing their legs, men are able to cross their legs.   

    • May 27, 2018 10:19 PM BST
    • Hi Kathi,

      Don't know if this helps any but found this link on possible reasons why it not done.

    • May 27, 2018 4:33 PM BST
    • How many of you ladies have the problem of being unable to cross your legs, or even keep your legs together in a lady like fashion because you have a male pelvis. My legs splay out like a new-born calf. Is there such a thing as pelvic feminization surgery, where an orthopedic surgeon realigns your legs to a feminine angle?

    • December 18, 2017 2:08 PM GMT
    • In this case, two wrongs made a right!  LOL


    • December 17, 2017 10:38 PM GMT
    • I loved the knock the drink and plate off!!  Brillant.

      Holiday Blessings,


    • December 15, 2017 5:57 PM GMT
    • True AJ!

      If I ever get "sir". I just giggle and roll my eyes upward and move on...although not too long ago at a restaurant, when the server "sir'd" me, I proceeded to knock my plate onto the floor and spill my drink!  Quite a lovely mess at that!  LOL  Then I just apologized and got up and left w/o paying!  (smile)  nobody followed me or said anything.

      But it is best not to make a scene...why draw unwanted attention to yourself for most people never notice a thing!

      Traci xoxo

    • December 15, 2017 4:58 PM GMT
    • For me, the less you say, the more powerful you become!

      HEY, if it works, who cares,

      Happy Holidays,


    • December 12, 2017 3:14 AM GMT
    • I don't get sir'd in person, but on occasion I will on the phone. I don't say anything sarcastic. Instead I will make a simple correction telling them "It's ma'am." Most will apologize and say ma'am afterwards. If she feels she must say something, suggest she says, "It's ma'am, and you are welcome." And don't forget to smile. :)

    • December 10, 2017 4:30 PM GMT
    • I am Older and my hair has turned natrually gray----a beautiful gray--yea

      I do have an androgynous haircut, but not feminine.

      I get mam a lot even when they are looking at my credit card with a male name.

      I just treat it as normal, thank them and keep doing my thing.

      I think  LOT of it depends it you are feeling Masculine or Feminine====Feel it and see what happens


    • January 3, 2017 11:38 PM GMT
    • Cristine, Shye BL said:

      Robin one must have a sarcastic sense of humour......, I met a boy I had been to school whith, straight out he asked me if I could now take 12 inches, crooking my little finger and wagging it in his face, I said ''The thought of having sex with you three times would be ultimately dissapointing''    As people gain more confidence, living the life, they will learn to give no credence to inane and ill thought out retorts and comments.

      Hahah! That's awesome Crissie!

    • December 10, 2016 9:33 PM GMT
    • I prefer to be called by the pronoun "Plaintiff."

    • November 21, 2016 2:34 PM GMT
    • Robin one must have a sarcastic sense of humour, years ago after I had just gone public, a neighbour stopped my guardian in the street and told her she ought to get me sorted, take me to see someone that could sort me out,, perhaps a father figure, My guardian with her Jewish sarcasm told her basically our house was the most valuable in the street, because we did'nt have weird trannies living next door to us, lowering the value of our property. perhaps in some way her stoicism and repartee have brushed of on to me.   I was asked once if wearing girls clothes realy made me feel like a woman, ''If it did'nt, I would be walking round with holes in my trouser pockets, playing with my balls and feeling a dick head.  all day''   There will always be instances in peoples lives when on reflection they think, whish I have said this or that .    After I had my surgery, I met a boy I had been to school whith, straight out he asked me if I could now take 12 inches, crooking my little finger and wagging it in his face, I said ''The thought of having sex with you three times would be ultimately dissapointing''    As people gain more confidence, living the life, they will learn to give no credence to inane and ill thought out retorts and comments.

    • November 20, 2016 11:10 PM GMT
    • Yes, I guess there really is nothing one can say to someone like that. A good stare is prob best. Thanks Crissie! ❤️❤️❤️

    • November 25, 2017 6:09 PM GMT
    • Katy Batty!  I has such a nice ring to it, no? (smile)

      Well, we're all just Bozos on this bus room? *giggles*

      Traci xoxo

    • November 25, 2017 5:23 PM GMT
    • Ah ah ah! Dear Traci, I don't have a middle name, but if I had one it would be *Batty*. I'm a natural :)

    • November 24, 2017 10:36 PM GMT
    • Katy...that is a special talent!!!  Serious question here...OK, not that serious...errmmm...ahhh...OK, a silly one!

      Do you talk to bats regularly??

      If so my dear, just how long have you been doing this?

      And most importantly, do they talk back to you? (grin)

      Traci xoxo

    • November 24, 2017 12:57 PM GMT
    • Lol, Traci, "Just don't ask me to shout for I never know where my pitch is going there!  LOL", same here, except my voice tends to shoot in a range only bats can hear :)

    • November 24, 2017 1:09 AM GMT
    • Lynn...I tend speak "softer" which does indeed help to overcome some of the bass built in genetically...but what comes out sounds somewhat raspy (naturally) ala Debra winger or Demi pretty well for me!  Just don't ask me to shout for I never know where my pitch is going there!  LOL

      Traci xoxo

    • November 23, 2017 9:40 AM GMT
    • According to a study from the University of Leipzig, womens voices have actually deepened over the years by almost an octave - from 220 Herz to ca. 150 Hz. They put this down to emancipation - a somewhat deeper voice apparently carries more weight at the workplace etc.


      As an aside, after a two year break I went back to an 'open mike' evening I used to frequent but this time as Lynn. I sang a couple of songs and people reckoned my voice had got higher! However, since I was singing in the same keys as before, I put this down to not singing at full volume which seems to take out some of the bass component in my voice.



    • November 22, 2017 5:29 PM GMT
    • Not sure why that posted twice, but, oh well.

    • November 22, 2017 5:22 PM GMT
    • Absolutely! Ultimately women (and men) come in all shapes and sizes and with all sorts of voices.

      And girls with deep voices are just... well... wow... (a slave to Diana Krall's voice here, lol). :)

    • November 22, 2017 5:22 PM GMT
    • Absolutely! Ultimately women (and men) come in all shapes and sizes and with all sorts of voices.

      And girls with deep voices are just... well... wow... (a slave to Diana Krall's voice here, lol). :)

    • November 22, 2017 5:14 PM GMT
    • My voice lies somewhere between the two of them...not nearly as harsh as Juliana's but not as pretty as Arthur's!  It is kind of like a soft, huskier pitch like a Demi Moore...(smile)  

      But it is truly difficult to fathom a woman being able to hit those lows!!!  gives hope for us in the trans community to find a comfy, natural voice and just don't worry about it...

      Traci xoxo

    • November 22, 2017 10:40 AM GMT
    • Isn't it amazing? I had to google them both up (Juliana Strangelove and Arthur Vasiliev) to be sure it was not some kind of spoofery! :)

    • November 22, 2017 12:35 AM GMT
    • Wow!!  When they harmonized in the intro, I was completely fooled by each voice.  Even when watching them sing solo it is difficult to believe what you're hearing and seeing!!  (smile)

      Traci xoxo
























    • November 21, 2017 12:41 PM GMT
    • Recently came across this great video and it made me think of this thread, and the related concerns! :)

      As a girl (born a girl, grrrr), with a voice like a squeaky rubber toy, I'd trade voice with this chick any day. :)

    • January 4, 2017 11:47 PM GMT
    • Love your posts on this subject! Thank you!

    • September 4, 2017 7:17 PM BST
    • I also shrug it off as being pregnant.I usally buy materity clothes and they fit very well

    • August 9, 2017 5:19 PM BST
    • Warm up: I discovered that I pass very well, including my rather large tummy, looking almost pregnent.


      Funny part: I was walking the other day and gentleman comes up to me and asks me if I'm having a boy or a girl? Commented back that I don't know yet, with a huge blushing smile


    • August 20, 2017 12:27 AM BST
    • One other thing ladies. Have you noticed we T-gurls often dress much more feminine than GGs? Have you noticed this?

    • April 18, 2017 2:39 PM BST
    • I know this addresses an old post, but the Photofeeler attracted my interest. I posted my avatar picture and waited a couple of weeks. I got 165 people rating me. Only 10% rated me as attractive. WoW what a blow to my confidence. Be advised, this hurts. Now having said that, this is a very young group. I may be the oldest contestant. They did rate be high in trustworthy however, so I guess thats something.

    • January 26, 2017 6:29 PM GMT
    • I don't think I could stand being rated. My outside does not come close to matching my inside. That really bothers me.

    • May 7, 2017 3:42 PM BST
    • *looking around the room*  Who, me?  (smile)  Thnx Robin....jus' playin' it forward!!!

      Miss you!


    • May 7, 2017 12:44 PM BST
    • Traci is a great source of advice, trust me! ❤️

    • May 4, 2017 11:50 PM BST
    • Glad to help! (smile)


    • May 4, 2017 11:32 PM BST
    • That is quite a recommendation.  Thank you. xoxo

    • May 4, 2017 11:28 PM BST
    • While I have not used it, I know a couple of girls who swear by it (Kathy Perez)...I also recently spoke via phone to one of them and she totally blew me away with her voice!  So natural...BTW, she is an airline pilot here in the US and has to use her voice all the time! (smile)


    • May 4, 2017 6:08 PM BST
    • Hi everyone.  I am working to find my true female voice.  I have seen a number of courses on the internet.  The one that has gotten my attention  was advertised on GS.  It is the 30 Day Crash course by Kathe Perez.  I am curious if anyone has used this course, and how it has worked for you?  Also, if you have not used this course, have you used another, and were you satisfied with the results. 


      I appreciate your feedback.



    • January 18, 2017 7:51 PM GMT
    • My meter is stuck on "I don't give a f*ck"!  Must be broken!  LOL


    • January 12, 2017 7:25 PM GMT
    • Great idea! XD "Captain, IDGAF is at full charge!"

    • January 12, 2017 5:32 PM GMT
    • As far as other less discerning people, get yourself one of these, :)

    • January 9, 2017 2:41 PM GMT
    • All of this: Confidence, Beliving in yourself.


      I had a really bad life before. Once I came out, sure there are some haters, some stares, some harassment - but: I meet many friendly people, a few guys hitting on me, elderly men holding a door and winking, and women asking me for fashion tips or literally asking me to help them pick out a clothing gift for their family member.


      My voice is still my worst tell, I'm still trying to learn the inflections. But - confidence: my new friends rely on me, my female friends look to me for strength, think of me as "Thank goodness Anna is here with those rough-looking people", etcetera. I'm a big girl, and I just do what I want - bold makeup, heels or wedgies, anime-style hair, a lip piercing. Some people are scared of me, some nasty people stare, but I was never liked or respected in my old life either, and now I like and respect *myself*. :)



    • January 5, 2017 6:52 PM GMT
    • Robin & Traci, you are both amazing people, I have been here on GS a while and seen you both evolve, what you both have achieved is astounding, each doing it your own way.   I need nothing from this site personally, apart from the desire to help where I can, from my own experiences, some things I have done, the seedy side of my life in the past, but I have achieved so much, after a pretty rotten childhood.   Some people don't like me or trust me, think I'm a fake because I don't mix with some of the more outlandish types, been there and done that, but what the FK do I care, some envy me because I look not half bad.  but I'm the one with the law degree now, contentment and confidence through perserverence, even if my voice sounds like a bag of spanners. ust plod on enjoy the real you.

    • January 4, 2017 5:19 PM GMT
    • OMG, you have soooooooo nailed it!  (smile)  Truly you must act like you belong on this planet as much as anyone else without wavering or doubting yourself!

      Yes, voice is a huge challenge, but not a big as we all fear worst, like yourself, just learn to string your words in a sing song manner.  For me, without coaching, I have learned to speak "softer" with inflection.  It seems to work.

      The last and perhaps the biggest thing you can do to pass is invest in permanent facial hair removal.  It is called electrolysis.  It is expensive, time consuming, and at times, painful.  That said, to not have to apply makeup to cover shadow or worry about hair nubs after a full day of living, is liberating.  I am not finished but can go 48 hours without any trace...I'll shave whatever is emerging on the third day and I'm good for two more days...where it gets challenging is when I have scheduled a session and have to let it grow for 5 or 6 days, hence I cannot live full time year round...but it is something that I say is a MUST!

      Robin, you're awesome and give me too much credit for your accomplishments.  It was all you GF, I just was there for you...I always will be!


      Traci xoxo


    • January 4, 2017 12:23 AM GMT
    • Early on in my transition, my biggest mentors, Traci O'Gara and Christine Shye, said the biggest factor in passing is confidence. And how true this turns out to be. As it says in the headline to this forum, so many other factors come into play. Even when you have mastered makeup, hair, style, and subtle gestures that people instinctively make their split-second decision on, you are left with your voice. This is probably one of the biggest stumbling blocks to successful passing. But, fear not! Even though I've worked on my voice, without a voice coach, I can't afford everything(!), I find that even though I am always called "sir" on the phone, in public that is not the case. People have usually already made up their mind, during that split-second unconscious decision, whether you are male or female. So when I speak, using a sing-song string of words, using a lot of inflection, especially at the end of my sentence, my deeper voice is dismissed as just that, a deeper voice. Never has a cisgender female said anything about my voice....and working in retail, I talk to A LOT of women! My secret? Confidence. I don't question my gender. Ok I may not be as swank and have such a delicious body as many women I see (so green with envy) but I am who I am. I'll admit the beach and yoga, where there is not much to hide my wonderful physique, confidence and being in the "role" makes a difference. I never thought I'd be here, but as you feel comfortable and confident with each phase of your transition, one day you will realize that all of your changes have taken over without any thought, it's natural and not "forced." You are really living as yourself now, Believe in yourself and so will others.

    • January 3, 2017 11:45 PM GMT
    • Huh, wha? I don't understand...?

    • December 10, 2016 9:41 PM GMT
    • Passing?

      1. Trying not to be arrested.
      2. Trying not to be trespassed/banned from various public places.
      3. Trying not to be civilly committed to a mental hospital.
      4. Trying to get customer service which other people take for granted.
      5. Doing without medical care.
      6. Doing without legal assistance.
      7. Doing without any form of lawful self-defense.
      8. Doing without any effective protection of the law.

      Who's passing here?  Certainly not the KKK / Neo-Nazi / Dixie Democrat / Arch-conservative Republican crowd.

    • December 4, 2016 9:15 PM GMT
    • At first the name I chose was Jennifer Allison. I always loved both names. But later I found out that if I had been born female, I would have been named Rachael Ann. To me Rachael is a beautiful name, and I like Ann alot. But I didn't want Ann to be a middle name so I combined them to a first name. RachaelAnn. As for a middle name I haven't chosen one. I thought about going Jennifer RachaelAnn. Which is still up in the air. I guess if I go to legally change my name I'll go for the whole thing. As it sits right now, I just go by my male name.