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    • February 20, 2016 5:55 PM GMT
    • Hi Chris.

      I am just picking random posts of members that have vanished. When you came here you seemed pleased to be here.

      Would you mind if you have a few minutes saying why you have not returned and what changed your mind? .


      Take care x

    • February 1, 2015 11:52 AM GMT
    • I hope we becmoe good friends Hannah. Thanks for the comment. Looking forward to knowing you better :)

    • February 1, 2015 6:44 AM GMT
    • I hope that we Trans people can become friends, support and be of use to you, and give you some idea of why we are driven to take this path.


      Ours is a lonely life; but, we associate in the UK with the understanding and ( generally ) kind Lesbian, Gay and cross-dressing community for sympathy, support and company. It is not enjoyable sitting in a bar, club or restaurant alone.


      I suppose that as a person who has no interest in men whatsoever, and enjoys the company of women, that National Statistics classify me as a Lesbian - well they have to 'label' you as something; and, they can call me whatever they like, just as long as they don't call me "early", and as long as it does not increase my Tax-liability !


      I have some really lovely, kind and loyal Transvestite friends; but, they have no comprehension of the Transsexual's obligatory path ( when the internal programme inevitably clicks in, if we live long enough ).


      Well, that's enough for now. I am off to make a cup of tea.


      Kind Regards,



    • February 1, 2015 5:10 AM GMT
    • So this happens to be the first forum that i am posting in. I was referred to here by my wife's friends and I think this will be a great place to know more people from the community around the world. Being married to the most wonderful woman who happens to be trans, I have always wanted to meet more people and contribute in any way I can. So bring on the greetings!

    • October 29, 2015 3:03 PM GMT
    • I am happy for you Toni.  It sounds like your wife is a really good person.  I think you are very fortunate and blessed to have someone like that by your side.  If you are not already doing this, tell her so daily.  Let her know that you appreciate the struggle she is having with all of this and that you are trying to be considerate of her whenever possible.  It makes it go a lot farther when they know you are appreciating their efforts and trying to help them whenever you can.  It will make her work harder and be more accepting as time goes on.  I am facing similar isues with my wife and it really does make a difference.  I am sorry that the catilyst that started this all was so painful and debilitating.  However, it sounds like your recovery is going quite well.  Keep up the good work and hang in there.  I hope all continues to go well through your transition, marriage, and life.

    • October 29, 2015 11:09 AM GMT
    • Hi all as to the Cause of the infection It just started as a chest infection type thing then spread into lymph system and eventually to my testicals .at the time I was in great pain and confined to bed for weeks .eventually the pain receded and I thought nothing more about it the first sign that something was physically going on was about 9 months later when my wife noticed that I was growing breasts and sent me to the doctors .As to our relationship things are getting better she is a lot better now . I am now full time living as a woman and she is fine with me dressing femininly as long as I do not wear Dresses or skirts . We had a wonderful Cruise together that We really enjoyed .She is realy trying to accept things and We have vowed to do all We can to stay together .I am extremely lucky in the fact that I am able to pass fully as a woman when out at first this bothered my wife and she made a point of introducing Me to people as her Husband (It used to really bug me I can tell You) .but after coming back from our holiday she has been a lot better .We went out saterday shopping all Day and not once did she OUT Me or even cringe when I was called madam so We are making progress .I have a big 20 Year award presentation to go to soon a formal do and I am expected to go  as Toni .I think her Daughter has been pressurising her to ley Me wear a Gown but when We where out looking for an outfit for Me to Wear she Did bless her heart look at some gowns but I saw the look of distaste on her face and the shudder that went through her and told her I am fine wearing trousers and We picked out a realy girly outfit that We both liked so a compromise was reached (But I would have liked a Frock LOL)

    • October 27, 2015 3:14 PM GMT
    • Now hold on about blambing God and not putting Him first.  Bad things happen all the time and it is not God who engineers them.  It is evil and the ripples that evil deeds create.  What God does it try to turn the bad that happens into a good somewhere for someone.  If a bad event happens, that isn't God.  If any good comes out of it, that is God.  

      With that said, I do believe that God does allow certian struggles in our lives to take place as either a test or a learning experience for us to grow.  It seems to me that what has happened here is a learning experience and a test.  God should always come first, both to you and to your wife.  I agree that Catholics are the least accepting religious group.  I feel they have missed the point of Jesus.  Jesus dies so that we may be saved through grace and not works.  However, the Catholics ritualistic worship shows they are stuck on works and have not embraced the grace.  They fear a God that rains wrath of hardship and struggle upon his people if they don't follow the rituals.  However, the fact is that God is actually love. It says it right in the bible plain and clear.  For that reason, what you should fear about God is not how miserable he will make your life if you disobey him, but rather disapointing him by disrespecting his gift in Jesus.

      Now, in the case of TS and TG, I think it is a test for most to test that love of Jesus and a test of judgment.  We are here on this earth to help one another and not pass on any judgments or punishments for things that depend on matters of the heart.  Whatever is in your heart about your gender identity is not up to others to judge or punish.  Their judgment is limited to their own understanding and not the infinate understanding of God.  (Another place Catholics fall short in my opinion)  If your wife loves you then she is supposed to love you for who you are and not who she wants you to become or not become.  Everyone has a risk of having something bad happen to them.  That doesn't mean that they are no longer the same person.  Your wife married you for better or for worse.  The two have become one and what effects you effects her.  If she isn't entirely happy with change, then it is her problem to deal with, but it should not mean that she doesn't love you any more.  You may be alright with your change, but it is something that happened to your marriage and not just you.  She has to accept that and her adjustments as your spouse.  To break the covenant of marriage she made with God, would make God sad and that is what she should fear.  That is where the sin would come in.  We do not get to choose who we are and have limited control sometimes as to who we become.  However, how we deal with life and its trials is what will define us in God's sight.  So, for her is is a test to see if she can follow the commandments of the covenant of marriage she agreed to or if she will let vanity and selfishness win out and sin against God by breaking that covenant for those reasons.  Either she loves all of you for who you are or she never has.  That is what it all comes down to.  It is up to you to pray for her to make the right decision and trust in the Lord to help her do it.  But it is her test and not yours.  

      I am curious as to what the infection was that started this transition.  Was it like the flesh eating strep or was it just like an ingrown hair that got out of control?  How did you contract it and when did you realize that it wiped out your testicles?  Did it damage anything else?  Were you hospitalized over it?  And what did they do to stop it?

      Curious Courtney

    • February 21, 2015 10:13 AM GMT
    • Hi Anita.

      You do not have to thank me for opening your eyesSmile. Self awareness is very important and you have now discovered the reasons why. Others have become aware of your changes most likely before you did.

      I think , and this is only my opinion that if your wife cannot accept you for who you are then your marriage will end. I only say that because your wife being Catholic is not a good sign.


      I was born into a Catholic family and they are the least accepting members of society I know of. Their religion and faith in that religion over rides the most important things in life and that includes relationships. Your wifes unwillingness to attend counselling with you is a good sign that she wants to close her eyes to what is going on and stand by your side through this. She may change over time and come around to accepting what is going on but she may just close her eyes and ignore the whole thing. It is not something that can be or should be ignored though! It will not go away.


      I do not know if you have heard of Leelah Alcorn? . She was just 17 years old and walked in front of the path of an oncoming truck to end her life. She done that because her Christian parents would not accept who she was. They sent her to a Christian therapist to cure her. There is no cure for Gender Dysphoria apart from accepting it. It cannot be made to go away be any therapist. The only true cure is to just be yourself.

      Leelah's parents did in actual fact end their own childs life through pure ignorance and thinking God is the cure. I always tell anyone who brings God into a conversation that involves me that if your God created me then blame him/she/it. I do that as my line of defence because I was brought up being forced to read the Bible and it says God created me . Well if God did create me then he/she/it screwed up not me. Maybe you could tell that to your wife? It may just bring her down to earth (no disrespect intended). If God is more important than your relationship then something is wrong.


      Take care x.

    • February 21, 2015 12:36 AM GMT
    • Hi Julia thinking about what you said I must admit that I have always had a very strong feminine side  to my personality and this happening to me to be totally honest suits me down to the ground.the reason I say it's involuntary is I did nothing to cause it .I just got an infection that attacked my testicles and they stopped working so I am now suffering erectile dysfunction breast growth facial feminization my feminine side of my personality is taking over my the way the illness was over a year ago.I have been to the endocrinologist tried testosterone gel and reacted badly to it so much so the wife pleaded with me to stop using it.the endocrinologist said that injections would be worse so I would just have to live with the feminization.being a lifetime crossdresser I personally embrace the idea of transitioning but my wife having been brought up an Irish Catholic finds the whole idea of me dressed as a female wrong. But according to some friends at work I am rapidly reaching male fail and I will have to do something soon .I would be quite willing to only socially transition in other words stay preoperative if that will preserve my marriage but personally I think I would prefer to fully marriage is. Very important to me we have been together over to counciling I am starting next the moment the wife is unwilling to attend with me.luckily I have the support of my daughter in law and the wife's granddaughter.they are working on her to bring her round .the daughter in law told me that they had seen the changes in me and actually prefer the more feminine me .I have found that I am doing things that as a man I would never have contemplated like getting my ears pierced wearing a necklace my taste in clothing has done a complete turn around going from dull hide in the corner colours to pinks reds bright yellows and such like .in fact a complete turn around in wonder people Noticed things where know writing this is the first time that I personally have became aware of these things for myself.this is a bit of a self revelation making me look at myself properly for the first time.I hope this answers all of your questions hugs anita ps thanks for the eyes opening lol

    • February 20, 2015 7:46 PM GMT
    • Anita - you say that you had an accident that"stopped your testicles working".  Would you care to enlarge on that and tell us exactly what you mean.  I think you have been vary courageous to have been so open thus far, but if you could add a bit more detail. 


      Are you talking hormonal deficiency here, erectile dysfunction, or what? So she married a man and she is not gay etc. If the boot was on the other foot, and you had married a woman who eventually, shall we say, developed chronic vaginismus to the point where penetrative sex was no longer an option,  what would you feel, and how do you think she might expect you to acommodate to the new physical realities of your relationship?

      Hoping to help,


    • February 20, 2015 5:31 PM GMT
    • Anita, I have reached a set of compromises with my wife that seems to be working out OK.  We too want our marriage to endure and she has zero desire to live a lesbian lfe style.  But we really have a strong love between us.  So since I've begun hormones over 5 years ago, the "desire" to dress has diminished alomst entirely.  And to make things OK at home, I agreed not to wear female clothing nor makeup, which is perfectly fine for me.  I look female enough without all the extras.  In return, she gives me a good 6-8 hours daily to go out and do whatever which is when I'll apply a little makeup and wear feminine clothing.  I have promised not to embarras her and just move in my own circle when out.  The body changes are non-negotiable as there is no turning back...anyhow, try compromising with her on little things and go from there. 

      Best wishes always!

      Traci xoxo

    • February 20, 2015 4:58 PM GMT
    • Hi Anita.

      You must have always been Transexual then. The damage to you testes would not make you transexual , well if it did it is news to me (I am not an expert) just never heard of it.


      Being Transexual is something you are born with , it is genetic . Losing your testes would not make you feel in your mind that you wish to be female or change gender or not the correct gender,  it must have been there all of the time.


      As a child did you feel you were in the wrong body?. You would have struggled with your gender identity before your illness if you are Transexual. As far involulantary transexualism goes it is something forced upon you by involantary use of female hormones on a male. It forces the male to grow breasts and other feminising features but it is against their will and would not make them wish to change gender "It is forced" It is not a choice , the person would not enjoy life and most end their lives over it. If you wish to change then you are not an involantary Transexual.


      Hope that makes sense. I think you should talk to your doctor about the way you feel. Your doctor will refer you to a specialist to figure things out.


      Take care x

    • February 20, 2015 4:25 PM GMT
    • Hi Julia I had an illness that damaged my testicles and stopped them working.

      And as to transitioning I am getting to the stage that I can not hide how feminine I am getting

      Strangely enough I have gained an ally to helping my wife come to terms with things in my daughter in law and my granddaughter they want to help my wife get used to seeing me dressed by having a girly night in with me included and dressed and made up.hopefully she will get to see that I am still the same person only dressed differently 

    • February 20, 2015 12:36 PM GMT
    • Hi Anita.

      You could allow your wife to look at this website to see that she and you are not alone. Do you want to transition?. If you do then your marriage can go two ways. It either continues or ends. If it continues then your wife will have to accept you for who you are and if she cannot then it will end.


      Love can be very strong and it can also destroy lives! It can hold you together or tear you apart. There is no crystal ball and you cannot see into the future and we cannot either.


      It is good to see your employer is looking out for you! I have not heard of registering as a transexual though , that could be the way you worded it. I guess you mean that they are aware that you are transexual and , will protect your rights to be who you are within your work place.


      If you do intend to transition and your marriage survives then you would be Gay! You would be two females (Lesbian).

      You do not have to answer this but were your testicles destroyed as a medical act for the reason of you being you?. I mean was it your decision?.


      Anyway I have work to do but I hope you find your answers .


      Take care xx


      Edit: Spell error

    • February 20, 2015 11:47 AM GMT
    • Hi there has anybody got any words of wisdom I can pass on to my wife .I have had my testicles destroyed and cannot tolerate testosterone so my body is feminising quite extensively and I have been told that I have no option but to live with it.My wife understandebly is finding this hard to come to terms with .Niether of us want our relationship to fall apart bot as she said once I married a Man not a woman and I am not Gay .she is horrified at the thought of me dressing feminine but my breast development is now at the stage I cannot hide my boobs so much so it was noticed at work and as my firm has an extensive LGBT policy HR thought I should register as transexual for my protection and arranged for councelling so I had to tell her .She was not Happy .Any tips or advice will be verry gratefully recieved


      Hugs Anita

    • October 11, 2015 2:15 AM BST
    • Thank you, Christy!


    • October 10, 2015 11:23 PM BST
    • this is  one I bought initially hoping my wife might read it but hasn't so far but I enjoyed reading it and it was enlightening

    • September 24, 2015 8:29 PM BST
    • I am wondering if someone can recommend a book I can get for my wife, dealing with transition.  She is pretty open and accepting.  I would like to get her some factual information from the perspective of a wife whose partner has transitioned.





    • January 19, 2015 9:03 PM GMT
    • many of my female friends know but only a couple of male friends and as far as I am aware no one at work knows.  she said as you did she loves the male me and not Sarah so that is why she wants me to stop.  I think she is worried about how people will percieve her and of course she is worried about me as well.  i am taking it at her pace but it is hard to not dress unless I am alone and she is not visiting. 


      I am TV so it is just now and again and aS I do like her alot I will give her that time



      Sarah x

    • January 19, 2015 5:20 PM GMT
    • Sarah, this is very common I'm afraid. The bottom line is, she is attracted to you as a man and that's how she wants you and there is very little you can do to change this. In time, she may come to accept that side of you but to give it any chance at all you will have to move at her pace, not yours, if you want it to work. Obviously that can be very frustrating for you. You don't say whether you are TV or TS, (I'm assuming the former), so that also makes a huge difference as getting dressed up now and then is one thing but to live full time is another! If she really likes you, your dressing may be an issue that she wants resolved in order to see if the two of you have a future together. 


      Being TG, we make very tough choices along the way and you are the only one who can make any decisions affecting your relationship. We can offer advise but what worked for one couple does not make it universal, sadly. 


      Have you asked her why she wants you to stop? How open are you about your dressing with friends and colleagues? Is she concerned how you are perceived by others? Or how she is percieved? Is she under pressure from friends and family? 


      I would suggest a calm chat to clarify her feelings and at least you know where you both stand. You can then move on from there, either together or apart, but in the long term that's better than living a lie and allowing resentment to build up. 


      Good luck!




    • December 16, 2014 7:00 PM GMT
    • my wife first accepted and was supportive
      went to new therapist with her a week ago
      he thought Denese was silly
      now she does too
      im very sad
      i won't go back
      shes going to him tomorrow

    • December 16, 2014 1:22 PM GMT
    • So last year I started dating a lovely lady, introduced via a friend.  She was told prior to us meeting that I liked to dress as a woman.  At first she accepted this even buying me panties at christms.  I went shopping with her one day and was looking at shoes and commenting - she did not like this.  I would paint my nails during the weekend and she was ok with this.  If we were out I was not allowed to comment as she didnt want anyone hearing me say thats a nice dress or nice shoes etc. 


      Anyway about 3 months ago she said she didnt want me to be Sarah as she did not like it.  What do I do I really like this lady but well Sarah is part of me she doesnt understand that the reason I am like I am is due to my Sarah time and how I feel about this. 


      Has anyone else had this issue and did you get through this with the same lady or did it end the relationship?

    • October 30, 2014 9:37 PM GMT
    • We have taken a perfectly reasonable idea (people caring about and helping one another) and taken it to hell in a handcart. Does the Golden Rule not apply here? Are we not alienated already?  There is more than enough room for all of us and our opinions in this place. The whole idea behind GS is to help people like us who may not have the information they need and that we may possess. To help them learn from our experiences. This site reflects the philosphy that "in here" we should treat each other fairly and respectfully  because we are much more alike than we are different. A famous quote said " I may not agree with what you have to say but I will defend to the death your right to say it".

      This thread is now closed.

    • October 30, 2014 9:12 PM GMT
    • Jacqueline Vivaldi said:

      Hi Julia- Mine was just friendly banter, although you may be a genius. Seriously, I could from the beginning see the situation represted as a strange one. However, I have seen the same before. In this case I am willing to believe the proposed story, until I see evidence to the contrary. Sorry, I could not see the hard evidence.




      I have deleted derogatory comments and other associated rhetoric.    EVERYONE is entitled to offer advice and have an opinion, but when posts reflect badly on this site and its fundemental aims to help and assist people in need and brings it into disrepute,   They will be deleted.   The integrity of GS WILL be maintained above everything.


      regardless of individuals personal intuition/suspicions.


      This thread is now closed.

    • October 30, 2014 7:58 PM GMT
    • Is it not time, ladies, to put aside our own personal prejudices about what might or might not be factual about Miranda's situation.  All that is happening now is that Miranda seems to have lost all faith in this site as being a helpful and empathetic place to be.  Julia, who is known to be forthright, seems to think that some how, this forum is being slighted and demeaned.


      For me, both of you would benefit from a few deep breaths and a moment of self contemplation..  Yes, both of you. Julia, you know I care for you, but in truth, I am too stupid to see where you are coming from.   Miranda, I tried to help you too.  You came here in good faith and asked for help, which, I think, you received. 


      Please, for the sake of all of us who do care, can we drop the personal attacks?  Who benefits?  Not the staff of GS nor the members.  Not Miranda, Not Julia. We all have the right to be wrong.  Can we settle for that - please


    • October 27, 2014 4:30 PM GMT
    • Julia Ford said:

      Never seen this happen before.........

    • October 27, 2014 3:52 PM GMT
    • Hi Julia- Mine was just friendly banter, although you may be a genius. Seriously, I could from the beginning see the situation represted as a strange one. However, I have seen the same before. In this case I am willing to believe the proposed story, until I see evidence to the contrary. Sorry, I could not see the hard evidence.



    • October 27, 2014 1:27 AM GMT
    • OK Genius. What did you figure out and How?

    • October 9, 2014 5:47 PM BST
    • Right now and since I found out, he's been at a friends so I can pack. Today I'm moving all my stuff to my moms and then we will be there. I'll have to look that M E Thomas up. Although I don't think its him because those aren't his first two initials nor his female persona initials. I almost can't read anything about sociopaths anymore. It makes my stomach turn. There's anforum for them and the way they talk like they're superior and smarter and the better way to live is like reading a confession from a killer. But he did pick the right victim since I'm an empath. It helps reading this stuff because now I'm being very objective and very guarded

    • October 9, 2014 1:17 PM BST
    • I hope this is a coincidence. American female author M E Thomas  Author of the book Confessions of a Sociopath , available fom Amazon and interviews of her on the internet , Huffington post ect.

    • October 9, 2014 9:46 AM BST
    • Hi Miranda.

      This is a classic case of misdiagnosis and from what you have said above it is clear it is not a permanant gender identity problem. The therapist needs a good kick up the arse , your husband needs more than a good kick up the arse , and the person who prescribed the hormones needs a good kick up the arse too. This would not happen in the UK or if it did people would lose their jobs.

      I did point out in a post that has vanished that a diagnosis should not be made untill all other possible disorders are ruled out. Bi-polar is the most common one mainly because of the convincing personality change. Not in the mood? That is no help to you after everything he has put you through , yes he does have a problem but just look at the fallout and how this has affected you and your family life.

      I know you are strong you have shown that , you also have compassion. I hope you do follow up on the divorce because you are not safe living like this , your children are not either. If I were in your situation I would remove him from your family life ASAP at least untill he gets a diagnosis on what his real problem is. Some men can and do dress as females as a form of escapism , he may deep down want to escape from you and even your children. The main problem you have is you can no longer trust him or believe anything he tells you. He has a proven track record of cheating and is a liar , it maybe down to illness but he admited he did know what he was doing.


      As he is so unpredictable be prepared to call 911 if you ever feel you and your children are at risk. Untill you know what is actually wrong with him you do not know what will come next. The best thing anyone can do in your situation is make him leave , just pack his bags for him if you need to , it must be like living with the devil , sounds harsh but you need to move on , you do not deserve this and your children need a more stable life too.


      Take care , Julia xx

    • October 9, 2014 12:32 AM BST
    • Definitely something else going on there. Sociopath, bi-polar... or just bonkers. He needs help for his destructive behaviour.
      We really feel for you Miranda.

    • October 9, 2014 12:25 AM BST
    • Yeah, he fits every single description to a T of a sociopath. And stopped taking hormones and said he's "not in the mood" to dress or transition anymore.

    • October 9, 2014 12:22 AM BST
    • It's not something I've ever heard of happening, but who knows how sociopathy may manifest itself. I would have thought it would be unlikley such a person would stay on a course of hormones for long.
      Do you suspect this to be the case with your husband, Miranda?

    • October 9, 2014 12:10 AM BST
    • Okay. I guess like could a sociopath claim to have GD and obviously be manipulative because it's fun or new or exciting but then once that wears off, suddenly they never had it? Idk how to word it right lol

    • October 9, 2014 12:05 AM BST
    • Not necessarily congruent, but having GD doesn't exclude any personality disorder.
      I've met one or two borderline sociopaths with GD, but one disorder does not cause the other, in my opinion.

    • October 8, 2014 11:49 PM BST
    • Thank you all very much for the kind words of support. I'm sorry I haven't been back, it's been hectic. I was curious if you know if GD, real or "fake", can be congruent with a different disorder. Such as a sociopath?

    • October 8, 2014 1:37 PM BST
    • Hi Miranda;


      I'm so sorry that you have had to endure all this. There are no words that can describe this type of betrayal and overwheliming loss after everything you have tried to do. Please try to remember that these were NOT your decisions. You are entitled to a better life for you and your children. All this is not your fault.




    • October 7, 2014 6:10 AM BST
    • I am thinking that looking through this whole thread that you Miranda have been truly selfless. Your husband has been selfish from the start. Did he stop and think of you? Selfish people only think of themselves most of the time , you must feel so used. All we can do is guess and even you must do after the lies . The stuff about the therapist was most likely lies too , he must have seen that person more than once and fooled them aswell get that prescription. Where is his  love for you in all of this? . I did say transgender people can be good parents , your children have had a lucky escape so that is the only good thing I can find in this now.

      You are the perfect mother you have shown that with your strengths through out this. He would never make a good mother with the track record posted here. Lie after lie and then cheating on you. As Crissie says "You are worth more than this" . 

      Julia xx

    • October 6, 2014 9:29 PM BST
    • Miranda, What I think  some of us picked up on was  his post about keeping his penis, to keep you happy and fulfill his manly duties, nothing about how you, and your feelings,   Not realy indicative of how most transexual feel about, wanting to continue doing manly things.
      All the research he apparently did, nothing about how hormone treatment would affect this, and his ability to perform. wonder if he explained that to the gender councellor who would have had strong reservations for putting him forward straight away for HRT.
      Your sincerity and devotion were never in doubt.   hang on in there, your worth more than this.

    • October 6, 2014 5:36 PM BST
    • I  100% agree with Lucy and Crissie Miranda. If what I typed above does not make much sense it was typed in a hurry as I had a meeting to get to but I had to respond but the thought was there for you.


      You from the start of this have given nothing but support for your husband for it all to be thrown back in your face. You are far to special a woman to have that happen to you. There are not many genetic females in this world that would do what you have done for their husband.


      When your life is turned upside down like yours has please beware of any more lies from your husband. He will come running back at some point full of apologies and more lies , please be carefull for your own sake and the sake of your children.

      We are all thinking of you so take care of yourself and your children , Julia xx.


      PS: Yes you did read right , I do agree with Lucy 100% , our opinions clash most times but this is about you now . xx

    • October 6, 2014 4:15 PM BST
    • I am so sorry, it's so much to take on board, for you Miranda, taking on your husbands gender identity problems, standing by him, giving support and care,   this betrayal is beyond comprehension.   


      Lucy has it spot on,  ''You're an itelligent, articulate and caring person and I think you've found a few admirers here. I certainly admire your dignity and grace throughout all of this.


      I wonder if this new woman will be so understanding, personally I hope she finds it repulsive and makes him feel like the loser he is.    My thoughts are with you.


    • October 6, 2014 2:08 PM BST
    • Really sorry to hear this Miranda. Many of us know how it feels.
      You're an itelligent, articulate and caring person and I think you've found a few admirers here. I certainly admire your dignity and grace throughout all of this.
      We're always here if you ever need someone to talk to.

    • October 6, 2014 8:31 AM BST
    • That is so sad to hear Miranda. It is an all to often ending though and I guess you are are feeling even more cheated on now.

      You still are a truly amazing woman and do not deserve any of this. You now know all of the signs and the feeling of being lied to and cheated on. At some point in your future you will meet someone special who you can trust and spend more happy times with that does have a happy ending.

      I hope you and your two beautiful children can move on as soon as possible and although the father of your children will always be that , you now know what kind of person you married. Liars and cheats are plentifull in this world but there are good people out there too , you deserve to find one of them.


      Can you please stay with GS? You have a lot to offer this website. Your experiences can help others that come here and I do realise that it may be painfull to share them. If you look at it from the point that you have had that awefull experience and suffered the pain you may feel you can get something back knowing that you have helped others or had the chance to maybe prevent it happening to another like you. If you can help prevent this happening to just one other family or couple then you may feel everything you have gone through has had some worth however bad it has been.

      Time is only a healer that has no set limit in that healing process , there is no speed limit for each individual but it will heal.You have amazed us with your strengths and now you need them more for you and your children , this is now about you and your children.


      I guess I am not your favourite person here but I have always told it like it is. Again please stay but also take all the time you need to sort your life out first. You could have a lot to offer others here in the future by staying . You may decide you have no wish to even talk about it and we would all respect you for that and never think anything bad of you. You have gained a lot of respect here and you will have support if you ever need it.


      Sending you one big huge hug from myself here in the UK. You touched me in a very big way.


      Take care of yourself and your children because that is what matters now .


      Sending you my love , Julia xx

    • October 6, 2014 4:44 AM BST
    • Well none of this matters now. We are getting divorced. She's been seeing someone else and went so far as to go on a date last night with her telling me she was playing pool with a different guy friend.

    • October 3, 2014 4:57 AM BST
    • Okay lets clear something up here shall I if you all do not mind. I have been a member of this website on and off for about 9 years. In all of that time I cannot recall a couple who have been offered so much support here by other members. There has been a lot of support and concerns for this couple/family . There has been no hatred in this thread just concern. My concerns(and others) conflicted with another member who insists it is normal to be diagnosed with gender dysphoria in one appointment followed by a hormone and blocker prescription to be issued. I stand my ground and still say it is not normal practice  but , it has happened so now it is time to concertrate on the couple not what has past .


      It would be nice if everything could be cured with love fluffyness and pink ribbons but this is reality not candyfloss land.

      The love and care is here on this website to help others , Crissie has gone out of her way to post links on laws that can help this couple. Others have gone out of their way to support the couple. This thread is full of care and concern. Some look at things and stay out of it , some look at things and just don't care , some just put their best into it. Not everyones opinion here is going to be the same.


      Anything I have posted here has been out of care and concern and that conflicted with another members ideals. My posts on this website are based on life experience and real life situations I have been a part of in my work over the years. I have come accross situations like this one on more than one occasion sitting in the same room as the family's. I have witnessed the tears and the heart ache.

      These situations can go two ways , love can keep them together or love will rip their hearts out. I have said I want to see this couple and their children have a happy end to this. Will they have a happy end? In most cases the answer is no, but that does not mean without support it can't be a happy ending because it can. It will take one hell of a lot of love to make this work though.

      As for talk about leaving here by any member you really need to try to be me here , the venom that was spat at me from another member here whilst I was away is keeping me from logging in here but I am not leaving I shall just try to stay out of things.


      I said I was going to stay out of this and if anyone involved wants me to just say so and I will respect your wishes but, do not ask another question of me because then I would have to ignore you and that is not in my nature.


      So Miranda if you wish me to stay out of it I will or anyone else here but , I will answer a question that was asked. Miranda asked am I saying that transgenders cannot be parents too? . Yes is the answer you can be parents , very good parents but you do need to prepare yourselves and you may need to protect your children more than other parents. Can you do it? I say you can but there is always a but! You may just not. As I said it can work two ways.


      It is getting close to 5am here so I am going to grab a couple of hours sleep before the sun rises.


      I do truly wish you all in this family the best of luck and all of the good wishes I can from such a distance.


      Take care , Julia xx

    • October 2, 2014 11:34 PM BST
    • Stephie Hughes said:

      i wasnt going to reply to this thread again, but i am assuming your post is aimed at me.


      i care alot about people, and i personally found some posts in this thread very angrily written and bordering quite confrontational.


      its one thing to have an opinion, and it is good to share those with others, how else can we develop our own ideas, or realise that there are other posibilities. BUT it is not in my opinion, ok to force those opinions. some people on here have a very poor way of portraying them selves. maybe i am too soft, but i also know that miranda and anthony found some of the replys very ...unhelpful shall we say.


      quote -" I reject the implications that things were said with malice or hate, people come here looking for answers, help and understanding.    Why do people threaten to leave, because somone has a different opinion."


      i have to stop now, because this has really annoyed me. this all because i care how some people treat others who come here looking for support and helpful advice, and not to be the target of what they have.


      **** it, ive had enough



      Malice or hate, no I don't believe so. Those are pretty strong words. But I don't think anyone ever suggested that and I do agree with the point that Stephie is making. There is too often a lack of sensitivity and respect for other members. I don't believe anyone threatens to leave over a difference of opinion, but rather differences in the way those opinions are expressed and/or respected.


      We're all on the "same team" here, right?


      It's not like it's all bad. This is still a very special place that's full of people who care and I hate to see anyone leave. I think we're all tired of threats to leave. When it comes to people being able to respect one another and get along, I'm an eternal optimist.