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    • March 23, 2016 5:30 PM GMT
    • Hello Julia, I just read your post and checked out the link, plus the "what's new" in their profile. I see what you mean. That's definitely not me, as you now know very well! I DO wish all the shy, quiet members would post more so that there's more activity/dialogue/discussion and it doesn't look like a GG is taking over!!! That's why I also felt self-conscious when I first read that PM.

      I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart when you said that my input was valued here. I do want to learn more, but also express myself, have a little fun, post questions, spread a little knowledge that I know from personal experience, and grow as a person.

      Thank you so much, Julia.

      Love, Lisa

    • March 23, 2016 5:02 PM GMT
    • Yes, I felt icky when I read it right before bed, so I was tossing and turning and got crappy sleep...but after reading it again two days later, I have a different perspective and don't feel anything when reading it. I thought this person represented all the hundreds of quiet, silent members, that this person was saying what everyone else might feel. But from the outpouring of mature, sweet members, my outlook has changed for the better.

      Everyone is at different stages in life regarding their thoughts and feelings about themselves and others. I STILL feel uncomfortable when I see a bunch of gregarious, outgoing women chatting in a group. I'm more reserved and introverted. When I went back to university to study child development, I would see that popular group chatting and feel weird and inadequate...and yes, jealous! They're so confident and girlie, which is just not me. I feel more comfortable and confident just chatting with the quiet person next to me. Thank you, Cristine, for your insight...you are not only beautiful, but wise, logical and intelligent...hugs!

    • March 23, 2016 4:53 PM GMT
    • Hi Lisa.

      No problems about the unofficial award , it was an idea I came up with years ago here to give recognition to members for different things. You are very kind so you deserve it.

       

      It is easy for people to take me the wrong way as I even admit I can be blunt on occasions on the internet. Some of my posts may sound harsh but they are true. But I am human so If I ever do make a mistake I will openly apologise.

      The one thing I dislike in people is selfishness , there is no need for it as we are all capable of giving something. Selfishness is a choice. It does not have to be money but just offering others a helping hand is enough, that is why I said your input is valued here.

       

      In the link at the end of this post is a classic example of a selfish individual. Someone comes to this website with a problem and gets very good advice "Free advice". The individual gives "Nothing back" The individual has not joined in with any other topic or offered to help others , it is all about them self.

      I observe things and I have been accussed of being to observant far to often. I can spot who comes here for self gain and who comes here to help others , your posts are useful and interesting (my observation).

       

      This link is pure selfishness on the original posters part , there is no other word for it. It shows selfisness towards this website and the posters wife and son http://gendersociety.com/forums/topic/10112/divorcing-and-the-unreasonable-transexual

       

      Take care , Julia xx

    • March 23, 2016 4:43 PM GMT
    • God makes no mistakes? are you kidding! He ****** all of us up pretty bad, but despite your rant here, you will never know what we go thru hon. I don't see where you have any reason to complain. I do not see a male face with big forehead. How fortunate for you to be born correctly and have a pretty face. What kind of sympathy you looking for here? Your only 99% sure? Well, I got news for ya hon, I am 100% sure, even with natural tits since birth and a dick. Everyone has adversity, huh? Try it from our side. Don't know what your deal is sis, but you have no right to preach whatever it is your selling here, because this is our site, our home..for the the TG community. Don't feel good bout yourself? Try dear abby. Your thinking I'm the bitch of the south, huh? Well your right, I am and proud of it. Bet your pretty pissed or disgusted with me right about now, huh? Good, ya should be. I'm not a mental case..been certified. Tired of listening to bored cis chicks tell me how tough it is. I all ready know this. Go post on FB or join a TG support group. But stay off our site and stop rubbing our noses in this.

       

      I am now in reciept of the message above..

       

      I have to think hard and be fair,    firstly I would not exactly class it as hate mail, misguided, unwaranted yes,   We need all the understanding and support we can get, from all people regardless of gender or their percieved gender, Lisa on one hand is recounting her personal experiences as an ovarian woman, fair enough, the sender of the IM is being overly sensative.  The first thing none trans people using this site supporting us need is a down to earth insight into the pressures, we go through.    No trans person can honestly say they would not have preffered a 'normal' life, but there again, if we were not trans we would not know the difference.   Me I was born a boy, I had the genitalia of a boy, why did I look like a girl, later on why did I have a penchant for dressing in my sisters clothes, I wanted to be normal.  People should not be afraid of walking on eggshells, when posting, yes a bit of thought might help, but honesty with most people will out we should not be overly sensative to others profiles or postings.   Normal people have issues, experiences, it is a good thing they bother to come to GS to learn and understand.

      I honestly think comments like rubbing our noses in it was uncalled for, there was no intention to demean or trivialise being what we are, actually the person who wrote the IM to Lisa is a very attractive, passable trans person, but that should not be the issue, I have had my fair share of hate male, most of it from other trans people.    People can read too much into what is said on the internet, to quick to respond to what they see as direct critism. they take it personally when it was'nt intended.    I'm sure the person who wrote the IM is not a hateful person, frsutrated, overly sensative probably, I'm the first one to stick my oar in if people are insulted or belittled on here. and what gender, or how they look is of no imporatance to me.   During my time, I have met some of the most lovely looking trans women, a lot of them are so ugly inside.

    • March 23, 2016 4:11 PM GMT
    • Hello Julia, thank you for the unofficial GS kindness award!!! How could anyone hate you? You carry yourself with grace and dignity, responding to posts very respectfully. Of course you have your opinions like everyone else, and are fully entitled to express them. I'm glad you're not leaving, and even though your presence will be less, it's a comfort to know you're still around...

    • March 23, 2016 7:40 AM GMT
    • Hi Lisa.

      I know how it feels to be hated here and I am used to it now. As for you? I cannot see anything that you have posted to cause anyone to send you hate mail.

      As I posted above my guess is it is jealousy , some are even jealous of me which turns to hate. I was asked to stay and welcomed back so I am not going , I will just not be as active as before.

      Your input here is valued so please remember that one ignorant persons opinion of you is just that , one persons ignorance.

      Some people only care about themselves and selfishness is not a nice quality in any person.

       

      You take care , Julia xx

    • March 23, 2016 3:13 AM GMT
    • Thank you Ms Maggie Pet, very well said! Your post touched me, you're too kind! I hope we do have a chat someday!

      Julia, I wish you wouldn't go! But I understand and hope you either come around sometimes, or come back 100% in the future... I did write to Cristine, thanks.

      Traci, yes, I like what you said about the gender binary, and about the self loathing, I totally get it and don't feel mad or hate the person, I hope they get a sense of self love and self acceptance. Thank you Traci!

    • March 23, 2016 1:26 AM GMT
    • Terrific post Lisa!  

      Thnx for taking the time to do so and especially become a member of this site.  All of us in here fall somewhere between the gender binary with few exceptions.  It is the magnet that drew us here in the first place.  For some, there is a huge amount of self loathing and on occasion, they will manifest their insecurities in an anonymous forum in order to carve a place or space for themselves in any community.  It is the only way they can feel good about themselves.  So please do not let the actions of one spoil it for you although I'd certainly understand if you felt differently.  

      Anyhow, I justed wanted say thnx and wish you could continue to visit us...

      Best wishes always!

      Traci xoxo

    • March 23, 2016 12:04 AM GMT
    • Hi Lisa.

      I have not posted anything on here for about a week but I watch the site from outside. I only really returned here to say goodbye to my friends as someone took it upon themselves to delete my old account. Now my posts are being censored by a moderator whom obviously has a problem with me.

       

      Cristine has posted on the home page a message for you to report the member. I can tell you now from my heart you can trust her and she will be fair so do please contact her.

       

      As for your membership here. You have made more posts than some do in a year and you are very welcome here so do not think of going please.

      Jealousy is the most likely cause of the PM you received , there is a lot of that going on the internet and this place is not imune to it.

       

      I will not be posting much on this site just to have it deleted so you take care and look after yourself .

       

      Julia xx

       

    • March 22, 2016 11:16 PM GMT
    • Don't let one person sour you on this site.  I have found most of the people here to be very accepting.  It sounds more to me like the person is possible jealous of you and that could be the real problem.  You have every right to be here and I think you will be able to share some different spins and different view points.   That is what makes a site interesting.  And who knows, sometimes we may disagree but that is okay too.  You seem to be very accepting and are not afraid to type :)  These are all great assets.

      So I do hope you stay and I look forward to seeing your posts, or possibly chatting some time

       

    • March 22, 2016 10:56 PM GMT
    • Thank you so much Briana, you don't know how much your tender, smart and insightful words mean to me! You are beautiful inside and out. I'm glad you're my friend! :) If you don't leave here...maybe I won't leave either...Love, Lisa

      P.S. I forgot to add major acne and oily skin since 12-13 years old...still have acne even now at 41! (Re: slightly higher than normal testosterone levels)

    • March 22, 2016 10:26 PM GMT
    • I will state that I am glad you are here and hope you will stay. - The world is too difficult and life too short to only find ourselves losing touh with someone I wish to know as a friend through time and see you as such at the present.
      Thank you for your insight to others with their opinions - which is the key term here - that is merely how that person feels. As to understanding, or the claim that you cannot - hell, I grant I have some small amount of understanding of transgender issues but primarily those that relate to me - and the same small level of grasp is true of most other things in the universe from the subatomic to the extragalactic in scale. The one thing is I am is a student both of the things in the universe and especially of myself - hence always learning. 
      Please do not let this person be the representative of any group - that person is only opinionated. When I encounter abrasive people with their opinions, I often state - 'If I want your opinion, I will give it to you.' ( But note I am a good listener ).
      BTW very noted minds in history had the same if not similar thoughts on 'god' - namely Newton and Einstein to some degree. Not bad company.
      Thank you too for the depth of your insight into yourself and sharing it with us here. Include in that your reflections on thoughts of ideas. As your work has illustrated - communication is about finding what we all share in common - not a drive to isolate ourselves with what we have different - if anything these differences should be embraced - and you show the value in both all of our common thoughts and those we may have different. 
      Thanks for taking time to communicate and read this.
      All the best, take care, hugs, Briana : )

    • March 22, 2016 10:05 PM GMT
    • There's definitely a nurture component to not wanting to birth children, but did you know there's a nature component too? Slightly higher levels of testosterone in cis women. Makes sense, I was super flat chested, deeper voice, high sex drive (I didn't act out on it in any promiscuous way!)

      https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Miriam_Law_Smith/publication/7409255_Maternal_personality_and_reproductive_ambition_in_women_is_associated_with_salivary_testosterone_levels/links/0046351a64e2937b03000000.pdf?inViewer=0&pdfJsDownload=0&origin=publication_detail

    • March 22, 2016 9:13 PM GMT
    • Well I got my first hate message yesterday. Felt really icky and wanted to just leave this site because of it. I wouldn't be surprised if others in the past left this site because of bullying.

      This person twisted everything I wrote in my profile. I wrote God makes no mistakes and this person went on to basically say THEY were a mistake! What?!?! The reason Lady Gaga and others say that is because it is a retaliating statement to mainstream society and warped religious interpretation which says that transgender people are freaks or mistakes or that God never intended that to happen. I've never been religious and I AM open to religious people IF they are non-judgmental and non-hypocritical, so let's get that out of the way. (I also believe atheists have a right to their views, as who can dispute science? Plus who knows what happens after we die? I guess we'll find out!)

      Yet, I do believe in a higher power (a generic god who doesn't interfere!) that created the universe and all the elements that make up the planets, suns, life, evolution, and the billions of variations that make humans unique. There are no mistakes in nature. As a SOCIETY, humans have come up with labels, diagnoses, disorders, conditions, what constitutes a mistake and what doesn't. Twins and triplets are genetic mutations, do we go around calling them mistakes? If anything, people call them a good mistake, because fertility and children are revered in all cultures. Unfortunately, representing two genders in both mind and physical form is not revered.

      But what if being transgender WERE revered in society...hmmm...let's see...because you experience what it is to be two in this lifetime (while mere cis people only one), and everyone knows two is better than one. Oh yes, AND you can adjust your body or outward appearance any way you so desire, you'll still be revered. There would be no shame, no secrecy, no discrimination, no suicides, no murdering of transgender people. BUT instead, the harsh reality is you are stigmatized and marginalized and dehumanized and people make ignorant comments like you're a mistake! I beg to differ! Being gay, lesbian, asexual, bisexual, pansexual, transgender, intersex (the multitudes of variations), gender fluid, gender queer, cross dresser, butch, girlie girl, androgynous, more female personality in a male, more male personality in a female, androgynous personality in a female (hey, that's me!), women born without a uterus, women born with two vaginas, men born with one or no testicles, the list can go on and on--whew! Are these MILLIONS of human beings a mistake??? NO ONE in this world is a mistake--except maybe Donald Trump! ;)

      Next, this person said I was seeking sympathy and rubbing in the fact that I'm a genetic girl. What?! If I didn't feel so icky from their comments, I would laugh! In my profile, I'm merely trying to state that all of us have more things in common than not, of course some to a milder extent while others to a severe extent. But if all sides can see similarities in each other...then isn't that how wars between countries can be disarmed?

      Also, by all means am I not dangling my ovaries in people's faces--which by the way are unused and dying, so I don't think they're much to envy! I have NEVER had the desire to get pregnant or be a mother, and many people--mostly women, perhaps even some of you who have grown up in society and are not immune to its influence--think that I'm LESS of a woman because I haven't experienced motherhood. Yes, I get judged too, which is maybe one of the reasons I was drawn here (besides the fact that I want to learn, also educate, and create a dialogue...and meet like-minded individuals).

      Some feminists (which I think is just bonkers) think you're not a woman because of biology. Some mothers think I'm less of one because I'm not using my biology. You've heard of the starving children in Africa? Eat your food because there are millions of children starving in Africa. Well, how about..."You know, there are thousands of infertile women who would LOVE to have children but can't, and you have a perfectly good set of equipment and are CHOOSING not to put it to good use? What's wrong with you? You're selfish!" I'm just glad I live in the present time and not the 50's. Remember Julianne Moore in The Hours? Feeling as though she's drowning and wants to end her life? Heavy stuff about thinking you have to follow societal norms (get married, have kids). I told my (now) husband after two weeks of meeting him in 2003 that I had no desire to have kids. I love kids and have a bachelors degree in child development. My husband was fine with it and said he hated other kids even when HE was a kid! Being gross and picking their noses, getting people in trouble just to be malicious! So he didn't want kids either. If you've seen Curb Your Enthusiasm, you can see that Larry David feels the same way too, about kids! Thirteen years later and I haven't "changed my mind" as everyone keeps telling me. I'm lucky I have role models like Oprah, Marissa Tomei ("I don't know why women need to have children to be seen as complete human beings."), Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Anniston, Sandra Bullock (good for her for adopting a child in need). http://m.mic.com/articles/112910/12-women-who-had-the-best-response-to-society-s-biggest-expectation#.spvUmfDv9

      So I'm not sure whether I should leave and "stay out" as this person wants. Although out of all the TGs and CDs here, 99% of you have been so nice, friendly, warm and open--in fact, at least two of you have said you hope I stick around. But now I've been made painfully aware that I am indeed an outsider who can never understand.

      However...when signing up, it does say you can sign up as an admirer, granted I'm not the conventional sexual male admirer, but still, I think there are a lot of non-sexual female admirers out there like me (and sexual, why not?!) It's just that maybe I have the proverbial balls to come here and start chatting!


      An interesting article: http://fortune.com/2015/06/29/gender-fluid-binary-companies/

    • February 11, 2016 8:37 PM GMT
    • *giggles* 

      xoxo

    • February 11, 2016 8:31 PM GMT
    • Thank you Traci I have missed you and a lot of others here too. I am fine! I passed away peacefully in my sleep 2 weeks ago and my funeral is last Friday if you want to come :)

      I do not want flowers just cash donations (No coins please just notes , or what you call bills over there) . So why have you not kept up my pointless thread? . I know it was pointless but fun at the time.

      Take care .

      Julia xxx

    • February 11, 2016 7:55 PM GMT
    • Miss ya girl!  Hope all is well...

      xoxo

    • February 11, 2016 6:17 PM GMT
    • I know this is the welcome forum but I never had the chance to say Goodbye to my friends here. A certian member here calling them self Bad Girl on the day caused my account to be deleted.

      I had some good friends here and many others whom I admired over the years. Some have not logged in here for a long time but to the ones who know me I need to say goodbye and I am sorry I never had the chance to say that on the day my account was deleted , it was out of my control.

      I look in here and watch people come and go but what really breaks my heart is the lack of posts in these forums. The home page has taken over what used to be a hive of activity. I watch forum posts from members being ignored and then they leave or do not return. I watch forum posts being ignored by long term members and I can see why some feel like giving up making further posts.

      What you have here is a unique place on the internet. You have good people who give their time up to help others , I do not want to see this place lose those people.

      My guess is this account will be deleted shortly so unless this post is deleted too I wish to say a big Thank you to my friends I found here over the years.

      You all take care.

      Julia x

    • February 11, 2016 4:25 AM GMT
    • Welcome Jalen

      Glad you could join us.  Hope to see you in the chat room sometime.

    • February 10, 2016 3:04 PM GMT
    • Hi, just wanted to introduce myself, just joined!

    • January 19, 2016 9:32 AM GMT
    • Felicia,

      It may take a little time but you will find yourself.   The Gender Society is a good place to start.  I started later in life and it took me longer.  The person I was when I joined is hardly recognizable, but nothing important was lost in the process.   Only one thing really matters.  Accepting yourself.  Learning to love yourself.

      Here you will find a vast repository of thoughts, facts, feelings and support.  There are excellent SRS surgeons in the world and "botched" surgery from these doctors is essentially unheard of.  Today's post-op transwoman can hardly be detected by a gynecologist.  We have many happy owners, of first-rate girl-parts, as members.  The first stem-cell clone parts have been successfully implanted.  A functional penis in South Africa.  Similar work is being done for a functional uterus.  There are limitless possibilites for future medicine.   Money will be an issue but not insurmountable.  Get an education and a good job.  Do not mess with hormones on your own.

      It is all here.  Knowledge is power.   Years past, when I joined this site's older sister, I felt recurring sadness for many of the people who came here...but the future grows brighter every day.   Be of good cheer.   It is now The Age of Hope for TG men and women.  Confusion is normal.  Self-acceptance is the goal.  With that, everything will start to fall into place.  The brain is plastic.  Shape yours in your future image.  Welcome, Sister.   Hugs.

    • December 30, 2015 2:08 PM GMT
    • Be true to yourself..

    • December 28, 2015 2:25 PM GMT
    • Welcome Felicia

      Finding out who you are is a very hard thing to do.   No one can tell you.  Some will try.   If they find you are a t-girl, society will tell you that you are a fringe member at best or a monster at worse.  You are neither.  Here on the forum you will be told you have to be true to yourself and transition.  That may or may not be true.  I once felt I had to transition.  There were no doubts in my mind and had I not been told to explore myself first and really look at my life I would have made a mistake.  

      Looking back I think it was because I was denying my female side so much that when I finally let my true feelings come out, I felt so good that I naturally felt I needed to go farther.   I wanted to tell everyone but at the same time was scared spitless to do so.  I wanted to feel like a real person as Maggie. Validate myself.  I wanted to go out dressed and have fun.  I wanted to find a man to make me feel as much like a woman as I could be.   

      There is a very real chance you will need to transition.  Many of us do.  There are a few of us who can be very happy just being t-girls.  I have discovered that this is what I am.  This has its ups and downs.  I found I really feel the need to become a true woman after buying clothes.  Or putting something sensual on.  So I monitored my feelings and found I could control how I felt to a degree.  I do not deny what I am and I think I am being as true to myself as I can be.  There are things that are very important to me that I would have to loose if I choose to go down the transition path.  If I denyed the importance of these things, then I would not be true to myself

      You will hear it lots.  Be true to yourself... Find a balance...  These are not as easy as they sound but they are attainable.

      Best to you and again welcome to the forum.

       

    • December 28, 2015 8:35 AM GMT
    • Hello! Um... being asked to introduce myself is kind of a chore for me, but I will do it anyway since I feel like it's pretty much needed. So, my name is Felix (and maybe one day Felicia), I'm 19 and I'm from (the french speaking part, AKA Quebec) Canada. To describle myself, I would say that I am a really sheepish person. I'm very shy, often doubt about my abilities and lack of social skills. Yet, even though I'm like that, I can hear people say that I'm charming or adorable from times to times. I'm actually in a relationship with two other men, which I both love and hold dearly. <3 As for my hobbies, the ones that I mostly enjoy are drawings and videogames. I do also enjoy doing crossdressing and cosplaying as female characters from times to timse. :)

      The reason I wanted to join this site is because I need some help. I need some help to find myself, as in, who I am. Because since a somewhat young age (About 13-14 years old) I've been having doubt about my gender identity and such and between age of 16 and 18, I started to deny those issues, trying to tell myself I would be just fine as a male. But all this changed this summer, shortly after I turned 19. I started having doubts again as the idea of me living as a man started feel "false" to me. All the issues that I've had before with my gender identity came back, but harder, if that's a way of describing it. I also got mistaken for a woman at least once a day for the whole summer at work. I don't think that really did something about me having issues again, but I've definitely enjoyed it.

      Yet I am not sure of what I should do. I think I would really feel better if I could live my life as a woman, though, I am scared of the outcome. Such as a failed procedure and the thoughts of my surroundings (family, friends, etc.) scares me the most. And that's why I've decided to come share this on the forum, hoping a few people will help, well, somehow.

      Looking forward into meeting you,

      -Felicia 

    • December 16, 2015 11:38 PM GMT
    • just thought id say hi to everyone im new and looking to chat come say hi x

    • December 8, 2015 11:30 AM GMT
    • Welcome Michelle,

      I recently stumbled upon this website one night (well, technically early morning). --And, no I don't think any of what you said would at all be considered "corny". Welcome, I'm glad to be a part of an online community with so many different people I can relate with.

      Hi, from Oregon,

       

      Carrie

    • October 26, 2015 10:06 PM GMT
    • Nearly a week old this thread! I am just catching up, No! you did'nt put me to sleep, a warm welcome,  A lot to deal with being transgendered, if you identify as female I would not consider it as misleading. calling yourself transgender, just go with the flow and just be what you are comfortable with, no pressure.

    • October 20, 2015 12:52 AM BST
    • Hello everyone.  My name is Michelle.  Just thought I would drop by and introduce myself.  But what to say about myself, that is the big question?  After all I don't want to put people asleep with my introduction.  After all that wouldn't be a good first impression.  Except for maybe the people with insomina :P

      So yes I do have a sense of humor and use it a lot.  A good way to lighten a serious moment like this one right now.  Well maybe not serious but nervous for me.

      Anyway a little about myself.  I am male to female transgender.  Although that might be a little misleading depending on your definition.  The reason why I say that is that I am not transitioning or intend to come out except for a few close friends about being transgender. I indentify as female personality wise (if that is the right way to say it) and I have found that I just want ot be myself.  Only problem is that I really don't who I am as I have been someone else most of my life.

      Anyway I think I should stop there.  After all I can spend hours talking about myself and do put anybody asleep reading it.  Look forward to getting to know people here and being part of the membership here.  Ok tell me the truth did I sound too corny there in that last sentence :P

    • October 12, 2015 6:27 PM BST
    • Thank you for publicly welcome,between their home,feel great

    • June 30, 2015 4:01 PM BST
    • Thanks for your welcome and I m from india. I need solutions, help and suggestion to change myself and hope to get replies from you beautiful people (friends to be)

    • October 11, 2015 4:26 PM BST
    • I'm Straight and I love to dress up. I'm Married and my wife is very supportive of me and my alter ego Nicole. However I feel I need to speak to people who feel like I do. I know no one.

    • August 25, 2015 9:28 PM BST
    • Julia Ford - Former Member

      Hi Crissie.
      From my experiences of meeting famales to males they are a minority within a minority. The main problem I witnessed was that the trans women did not interact with the females to males.
      In a local group that I left there were 2 females to male and when I left they both left to. The reason they gave for leaving was because I had left. I gave them my time and attention and I showed them empathy but the other trans women there seemed to not want to even recognonise their presence. The females just wanted to talk about really serious things like shoes and skirts and of course that is the most important thing in transition.

      The reason I think most female to males leave GS is because the females show no interest. You have done but it would be nice to see others join in and offer some support and friendship. The ones I met opened up to me because I made the effort to talk to them and show them some empathy. The transgender world seems to revolve around females and they do isolate the females to males. Some interaction from other members would hopefully make them feel more welcome.

      Anyway I know you will offer your advice as long as the member hangs around. It is perfectly natural for males and females to interact but when you think about it , it is hard to notice on the internet and I think it is the same in the real world too. Isolation causes depression and depression leads to suicide. You and I done a page about suicide and it was just you and myself. No one seems to care until it is them or to late. I know you will do all you can because you care.

      I better go , have a good day.
      Lots of love .

       

      Yes I think to some extent the Male to females are to wrapped up in themselves,  but we should try harder to understand, we are in the majority and should cater more for the opposites and learn more from them.  make them welcome and interact and establish a rapor.

    • August 25, 2015 8:47 PM BST
    • It is not pedantics, ranting, it is a feeling of confusion, helplessness.    if someone falls over has severe pains in the leg, people will think automatically you have a broken leg, logical thinking, but it is not the same with gender identity confusion, a very misunderstood condition, based on social conditioning, resulting in a no way attitude of the uneducated, social pressures and the so called word of god.

       

      Take time out to read  http://gendersociety.com/forums/topic/7805/heteronormativity how society infuences thinking and dictates how we live our lives in the two gender only society.

      Then go on to read, not in all circumstances, or as yet not proven, cases and examples of why we might be, what we are

      http://gendersociety.com/forums/topic/7790/synopsis-of-the-etiology-of-gender

       

      further, http://gendersociety.com/forums/topic/9870/cns-brain-male-feminisation, and yes the same reversal can be apllied to female to male transgendered, so much still to be discovered, bot nobody should dismiss these conditions out of hand.

    • August 25, 2015 6:38 AM BST
    • Thanks for the warm welcome first of all. It is nice that there are places like here where we're not judged.. I was unaware that FtM are a minority in the trans community to be honest, but now that you mention it and thinking about it, I do see more MtF it seems.. I think you are probably right that a lot of us suffer in silence.. I mean, my mom didn't have a clue until recently.. I had to explain to her all I did and felt in middle school and high school and even then she had her doubts.. I can't speak for everyone, but I know I kept hearing it's just a phase... I've had quite a few of those and they're never here for this long. Sorry to go on and on, don't mean to rant, but I appreciate the help and the welcome so thanks again. :)

       

       

    • August 24, 2015 8:41 PM BST
    • Kris, firstly welcome,  I see you listed yourself as a female to male cross dresser, that's very unusual in that females generally tend to be transgendered.    the most important thing about this site you will not be judged,

      FtoM, tend to be a minority in the trans community, why I do not know, perhaps so many in your position just tend, to suffer in silence, get on with it.    We have a forum dedicated to FtoM, a few spasmodic postings, there does seem to be more information, reasons, and research carried out on MtoF.   However, whilst not suggesting you have an inherited condition, the same reasons and research that applies to MtoF can also apply to people like you.   If you need to chat we have Amanda Bruce our very own resident councellor, or you can IM me for various links that might give you some insight and clinical basis for how your feeling.

      As far as God goes if your a believer, he made you, me and countless other what we are.  sometimes with a helping hand from others of the human race.

    • August 24, 2015 3:16 PM BST
    • It is extremely frusterating indeed.. I can't speak for everyone of course, but I have been told by my mother that the reason being trans is such an issue is I'm basically "telling God he's wrong for making me a girl when God never makes mistakes and I don't know more than he does." I agree though that people of faith shouldn't judge.. I once dated an athiest and we never once fought over our opposing beliefs simply because we both thought judging others was wrong.  I meant to put up female to male on my profile, but I don't crossdress exacltly, at least not yet. I'm at the point of cutting my hair short now. I'm slow moving with this process since I'm so hesitent y'know? My mom says one thing then acts the opposite by saying if I decide to do this she'll support me, then she refuses to call me her son when I ask. I understand that it's hard on her too... I am seeing that there are others out there like me though and that is very comforting to know. 

       

      Thanks so much for the encouraging words though! I think I will talk on the blogs a bit. :) 

    • August 24, 2015 2:38 PM BST
    • I do understand how you are feeling Kris (well mostly).  Gender Identity issues can be very frustrating and that's nearly always because of other people with outdated attitudes and a resistance to seeing the real world.  Religion is also a major cause of problems for trans people, although I'm told that nowhere in the bible are trans people even mentioned so just why christians should be so hateful towards us in anybody's guess. 

      Yes, I know that the bible says being gay is bad but hang on... being gay is an entirely different thing and it has nothing at all to do with being transgender.  Being gay is about sexual preference.  Being transgender is about your gender identity and nothing to do with who you decide to sleep with.  So any religious people who smite you be being trans have not read their bible properly and are just showing their lack of education and ignorance.

      There are plenty of people here who will understand you Kris and who will not only understand what you are going through but will in fact have been there already themselves.

      My guess though, is that if you really do feel male for 99.99% of the time, you are most likely transsexual and will not be able to live easily as a female.  You probably know this already.  I note that you have described yourself as a crossdresser in your membership profile though.  Does that imply that your need to be male does change from time to time or was that a mistake?

      I am not a trained counsellor so I shy away from giving too much advice except to say that you should talk to as many of our members as possible about this and get a consensus of their thought and ideas.  It's like 'Ask the audience' (LOL)!  Then, armed with this new knowledge, talk to your counsellor and move forward from there.

      Never think for a moment that there is no hope though, because there is always a way forward.  It can be tricky but there's always a way.

      And do tell us more about yourself.  Maybe start a blog in our blogs area.

      Hugs, Katie   :)

       

       

       

    • August 24, 2015 1:47 AM BST
    • Hey guys, what's up? I have been so hesitent to getting myself involved here for various reasons, but I just have to figure out more about myself... I know I have gender identity and 99.99% of the time I feel like a man and become enraged when my family refuses to call me a male/their son and calls me "way too beautiful to be a guy". That other .1% I am just okay as I am and living as gender neutral I guess I'd say? I'm just having a hard time saying I'm transgender for sure since I can deal with being a girl sometimes.. Also, I hope I don't get attacked for this, but the reason I've been hesitent on involving myself with the community is b/c I come from a religious family.... So as you can imagine that really gets in my way a lot.. I'm just so tired of having no one who understands me though or to talk to besides my counselor.. D=

    • August 12, 2015 10:49 AM BST
    • Hi Jason, it's good to see another F2m here. There are others on this site although in the minority, several guys have looked in recently and not stayed because of that, so stick around and as Gandhi said, "Be the change you wish to see in the world".

      Hope you enjoy the place.

      xx

    • August 11, 2015 3:29 PM BST
    • Hi Jason, you are most welcome.  We do have a number of FtM members here but as in the wider world, they are less prevalent than MtF trans people are. 

      We also have an FtM forum which you will be welcome to contribute to and/or maybe start a blog and tell us about your life and your transgender journey.

      Whatever, we're glad to have you here and I hope you will be a regular face around the site for a long time to come.

      Best, Katie   :)

    • August 11, 2015 2:44 PM BST
    • I'm jason ....I haven't felt sure about doing anything with this forum as it seems fairly trans-lady--centric and I'm a trans guy...but hi. I'm a college student and have been on my new name and pronouns on campus for several months but am not planning on hormones or surgery for now.

    • July 21, 2015 8:48 AM BST
    • Hey Lynne 

       

      Thankyou for the warm welcome. I think when you get to our age the setting free bit is almost desperation. It never fails to amaze me how resiliant the huiman spirit is, We manage to get through all these years in denial of ourselves and in the end do we really havce a choice? I am sure during your years in "exile" you have often thought about escape and what that would mean. I am only just for the 2nd time considering transition seriously. I have a long long road ahead but plenty of time to do it

       

      Regards

       

      Sarah T

    • July 19, 2015 5:46 AM BST
    • Hello and welcome Sarah!

      I too am a late bloomer (we are the same age) but I was set free at age 48. Yes, this is how I look at it - freedom. Freedom to be me, freedom to discover happiness and serenity for the first time in my life. I'd like to share with you and everyone reading this a quote that got me through the hard times (it is well memorized, lol.)

       

      "The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul." - Audrey Hepburn


      Warmest Regards ~ Lynne

    • July 13, 2015 5:25 AM BST
    • Sarah...you can find really good inexpensive makeup but you just have to know what you're looking for.  

      Yes, nothing looks worse than a girl who is painted heavily...so easy to spot and frankly looks awful!  Makeup should really be used to create "illusions" such as contouring or to enhance such as lipstick or eye makeup...the older you are, the less pronounced it should be.  When you are young, you can go "bold and dashing".

      Anyhow, good luck with the consult and take good notes!

      Traci xoxo

    • July 12, 2015 11:14 AM BST
    • Hi Traci,

       

      Thanks for the advice and I hear what your saying, its easy to achieve the hooker look without trying too hard. Hopefully once I have my makeover in a couple of weeks I may have a better idea about how to bring out my best with the least amount possible. I have used heavy makeup before and it just looked false, painted not a great look. I am not a huge fan of heavy makeup although I do like a little Lipstick, mascara and eyeliner. However reality tells me if I want to try and appear in public then I better get it right or have a thick skin or maybe it is better to have both. I bought a starter pack of thin lizzy mineral makeup and have yet to get another couple of pieces to complete my makeup bag. I am somewhat reluctant to spend too much until I havce a clearer idea of what colours and tones work for me, here in OZ (as I am sure it is everywhere)good quality cosemetics are quite pricey. There are cheaper brands but its the old saying, you get what you pay for.

       

      Sarah T

    • July 12, 2015 1:56 AM BST
    • Sarah, do remember in applying makeup that "less is more", especially on women like us!  I get by just fine with a little mascara, a touch of blush on the cheeks, and lip gloss...I only use a moisturizer on my face as a base!

      Traci xoxo

    • July 11, 2015 2:06 AM BST
    • Emilia Harp said:
      Hi Sarah I hope you are still working towards your goal. I am female and I have recently had a friend of mine open up to me about his want to become a woman and make up was so important to him. I've spent time with him showing him how to apply, testing colours to see what colours he suits and making sure he builds up his own make up kit correctly. I'd love to help anyone else to do the same. I am based in Glasgow but am happy to Offer support to anyone who needs it. even if you are far do not hesitate to send me a message! Please don't hesiatate to try thing and see what works. You will only get better at application and choosing correct shades with practise! Xx

      Hi Emilia

       

      Thankyou for your kind words of support. Practice makes perfect...hmmin my case cae it is practice practice...but hey thats all part of the learning.

    • July 10, 2015 11:23 PM BST
    • Hi Sarah I hope you are still working towards your goal. I am female and I have recently had a friend of mine open up to me about his want to become a woman and make up was so important to him. I've spent time with him showing him how to apply, testing colours to see what colours he suits and making sure he builds up his own make up kit correctly. I'd love to help anyone else to do the same. I am based in Glasgow but am happy to Offer support to anyone who needs it. even if you are far do not hesitate to send me a message! Please don't hesiatate to try thing and see what works. You will only get better at application and choosing correct shades with practise! Xx

    • July 4, 2015 12:54 AM BST
    • You are definitely transexual. Having been on HRT for the last three years I'd say I'm better off within myself. However,  if you do continue to have calamities,  I can tell you it's then that people will be most transphobic.

       

      it's tough.  Only evil people associate with me and I'm constantly predatorized. My psychiatrist says I'm better off on a personal level though and he's conservative as ****.

    • June 28, 2015 7:17 AM BST
    • Thankyou once again for your encouragement, It has taken a number of years to finally deal with this in a serious way as I need an outcome that will not olny satisfy my need but also my partners.