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    • September 28, 2013 1:48 PM BST
    • Since childhood I have been enthralled with womanhood. So much so, that when I was about 10 years old my parents demanded I stopped wearing my mothers clothing after school.

      By then I was wearing women's undergarments. I was playing with perfume and jewelry. And yes I was confused by it. I knew the other boys were not warmed by knowing their panties were satin or lace.

      My mother knew full well that I had gender dysphoria (self diagnose). She never said a thing though. There was no support or opposition. I knew full well, and do to this day, my father would be horrified.

      I wanted so much more at that age, but had no way to achieve it. I expressed it more by wearing "club like" clothes in late high school. I never hid my femininity in my relationships, but was torn with being told I should be outwardly masculine.

      I moved away from home to attend college. I was able to explore a lot more of who I was without the constraints of who I was in the past. I began shaving my body, painting my nails, and exploring sexuality. In college I enjoyed having men and women attracted to me and confusing the rest!

      Back then I had no problem being sneered at by haters either. I am not sure why that changed with age, but it did. I had no problem wearing leather pants and a cami to class with painted nails and eye makeup! Some of my favorite shoes were knee high boots. I enjoyed my woman friends far more than the men.

      I ended up in a steady relationship with a GG who loved dressing me up. I loved being dressed up by her. We would shop for clothes and make up together. It was so much fun.

      We went out a lot. If I was not en-femme I was certainly very pretty. I usually wore a mix of mens and women's clothing on a daily basis.

      We went out clubbing and on dinner dates quite a number of times as girlfriends. Heck, we even went to San Francisco for a week. I didn't spend the whole week en-femme, but most of it "in-between" while we openly shopped for super cute stuff!

      I was so easy and relaxed about dressing as a woman or "in-between" in those years. I didn't care about others judgements. At that time passing wasn't an issue, since I wasn't concerned with it. I was just being me.

      I look back on those years with happiness and regret. I am happy that I was able to be so open, but that I did not seek something further like transition. That would have been the time!

      Years later I am still obsessed with womanhood. I've learned about about myself. I guess I would now identify myself as a TV.

      I haven't hid any desire for femininity in any relationship I've had with women in my life. In fact, they have all enjoyed it, but that may be why we were together.

      There were missed opportunities with men, but I haven't given up on that! I look back on a number of missed opportunities with some hot guys.

      I've realized something about my sexuality, I can't say I am a gay male, a straight MTF, a gay MTF, or any other label. I like the people I like, man or woman, I am attracted to the person.

      A couple of years following college I was with the same GG. Not to brag, but I passed as a woman and was hit on from time to time! As relationships move, we separated.

      There were some dark days following. I boxed up all my women's attire and tried acting like a man. I wanted to learn to hunt (fail), watch football (sort of fail), etc... I was convinced that I could repress who I was and be a man. However, I couldn't bring myself to get rid of my wigs and clothes!

      I eventually met a woman (now my wife) who loved me. First, she went through my underwear drawer and discovered I only had mens thongs and string bikinis. She loved it!

      On one of our fist sleep overs at my apartment, she asked to use some antiperspirant. She found that all I had was women's! Later, she was snooping in my apartment and found my trunk full of heels, clothes, and wigs. She didn't run for the hills.

      We were very sexual and open with each other. However, we really didn't discuss my desires as I repressed them. We talked about a lot of other fun endeavors, some of which we have done and others we still hope to do.

      After our marriage I had to start satisfying my internal desire for womanhood again. I began to dress en-femme again. It started piece by piece and it was clear she was not sure what to make of it. It was not easy and the source of many arguments. We hit some really low points. She felt betrayed.

      Eventually, we grew together and my wife became to love me as a woman more than a man. She couldn't wait for the weekend and see Lesley. Fortunately, I had a work schedule that allowed for more time as a woman than a man!

      For a number of years, my wife and I enjoyed me living as a woman on the weekends. For at least three days a week from the time we got out of bed till we went to sleep I was a woman.

      We went grocery shopping, watched movies, lunch, etc... as girlfriends. I passed as a woman. Dressing rooms, lunch, dinner, walks in the city, etc... Passing became a need and obsession. I must admit, that I passed. The yearning, obsession, and need to pass became extremely strong. I wanted and had to be a woman. We had many long talks... I began researching hormones and surgery.

      The transition from the weekend to the work week where I was a man, boo, was not easy for either of us. I often heard that I was nicer as a woman. The abrupt changes were not easy on either of us.

      We took several trips to Vegas as girlfriends. Week long vacations, just us girls. Those are some of my favorite memories. We went clubbing, shopping, dining, roller-coaster riding, etc...

      She went with me to my first laser hair removal appointment even. For about a year and a half I was doing laser treatments on my face. She supported me through all of it.

      There was a time when we discussed breast implants and more. I was so used to being en-femme that my body movements, voice, and persona just became feminine and passable.

      Suddenly, a change came to our family. A child whom I love dearly.

      I was spiraled into repression again for a year or so. Of course, the woman in me keeps fighting her way back to the surface.

      Now, basically if I am not at work, I am wearing makeup, women's clothes, perfume, have my bits taped down... I spend three days a week wishing for the four I get to be me.

      I am questioning my ties to my male life. Should I let it go for good? I am so glad I found the GS and have a place to talk and learn from some very strong people.

      * I will get a photo on my profile soon!

    • September 25, 2013 12:13 AM BST
    • I am so glad to have found the GS. I can't wait to meet everyone and learn so much!

    • September 24, 2013 10:01 PM BST
    • Thank you Rosie;

       

      It feels great to be a new member here in this group. I am so looking forward to learning new things, sharing what I know and making new friends, and perhaps even finding a lover (did I say that)?

       

      Oh well, Thank you for the warm Rosey welcome

    • August 28, 2013 8:55 PM BST
    • Hello,I am Alexis and I am a 34 year old Tgirl,been living and dressing as a woman fulltime since I was 18.I love my life living and dressing as woman,felt I was more feminine all my life.

    • August 28, 2013 5:31 AM BST
    • Thanks so much for the warm welcome x

    • August 25, 2013 8:45 AM BST
    • HI Trina, I hope things work out well for you, you will get plenty of support here , hope to see you making progress and you will be welcome in the chat room .

      Rosie

    • August 25, 2013 1:10 AM BST
    • Thanks for the welcome, I glad I have found this group as I am just beginning on the process of transitioning although I did go on hormones at 16 and begin the process but was talked out f it by friends :-( and it has taken me till now at 52 to finally become the woman I am meant to be. I just hope I havnt left it too late. It's terrifying but kind of exciting too. I will add a profile photo soon. xx

    • August 14, 2013 4:24 PM BST
    • Rosie, this is my second time that I have closed my account and reopened it.  Is there any way that I can merge this account with the old one or just go back to my old one?  

    • July 30, 2013 1:14 AM BST
    • Thank you so much (: 

    • July 23, 2013 7:12 PM BST
    • Hi Rosie -

       

      Thank you for the welcome!  I am looking forward to participating in discussion :).

       

      Peace and have a lovely day,

      Ms Lix

    • July 20, 2013 9:23 PM BST
    • Glad to be here!

    • July 15, 2013 7:36 PM BST
    • Thank you for the warm welcome ! Looking forward to chat to you all.

    • July 6, 2013 2:02 PM BST
    • Thank you so much Rosie :}

      I really appreciate it!

    • June 30, 2013 7:03 PM BST
    • Thank you Rosie.  I know we met in chat, but I wanted to say hello to everyone and nice to meet you all.  My name is David.

    • June 22, 2013 10:50 AM BST
    • Thank You for the warm welcome!!

    • June 22, 2013 5:24 AM BST
    • Thank you Rosie.

    • June 14, 2013 11:53 PM BST
    • Thanks Rosie for your kind words.

       

      I am looking forward to meeting some new folk and making new friends

       

      Michayla

    • June 11, 2013 1:08 PM BST
    • Thanks for the warm welcome. Vx

    • June 7, 2013 2:40 PM BST
    • Thank you for welcoming people.

      It will be nice to have somewhere to speak without fear of condemnation for exploring who I am and may be.

    • June 1, 2013 7:27 PM BST
    • Thanks. Seems a nice place to be...

    • May 28, 2013 10:31 AM BST
    • Hey girls, Thank you for the welcome, its great to not feel alienated. x

    • May 5, 2013 12:20 AM BST
    • Thanks Everyone for the fine "welcome"  :)

    • April 30, 2013 11:13 AM BST
    • Hello all!

      Thanks for the warm welcome :)

      I doubt I'll be using the chat room - I tend to shy away from those things on all sites, anyway ^_^

    • April 25, 2013 8:53 AM BST
    • good early morning/morning/evening and thank you very much for the welcome

    • April 7, 2013 9:01 AM BST
    • Sounds interesting catie (but hope you'r not lol) love your doodles and assume little pink camper sports some frills as well lol enjoy your trip xx
      Rosie

    • April 6, 2013 10:34 PM BST
    • Hi Rosie

      Thank you for the warm welcome.
      The Gender Society site looks fantastic....great to re find you and the girls !
      I am one of the 'old girls' from the Trannyweb days...used to be Sarah Jane Valentine before coming out as Catie Maye 4 years ago. Now definitely very out and 'frilly' proud in Milton Keynes, just down the road.
      I am currently travelling around the world...yes lingerie and dresses fill most of my rucksack !
      I am currently working on a book 'Men Can Wear Dresses' and producing more of the doodles with a TG message....
      Don't have any decent pics...so profile pic...one of the early doodles.
      Will upgrade when I can find decent Internet here in our little pink camper van in NZ
      Love to all
      Catie Maye xx



    • April 5, 2013 9:11 PM BST
    • rosie Bush (moderator and news editor) said:
      well you never know -- it might just break the ice for you ---- remember -- no try -no win lol

      Guess what? Reaction, bad, not the one I needed. Final conclusion? Most of the members here are outside of the United States, and are far out of my reach so...this was a wasted venture, as most of my life has been one wate after the next. But at least I know how to accept my self for who I am, and anyone else who actually cares enough to follow-no bullsh-it just be real and physically helpful, can join the caravan otherwise known as the Crazy train. If not, then I'm leaving you in my 350 MPH dust.

    • April 5, 2013 8:23 PM BST
    • Thank you for your welcoming statement and policy guides, Dorothy

    • April 2, 2013 6:50 PM BST
    • Thank you! And Hi :)

    • March 30, 2013 9:35 PM GMT
    • well you never know -- it might just break the ice for you ---- remember -- no try -no win lol

    • March 30, 2013 9:32 PM GMT
    • rosie Bush (moderator and news editor) said:
      Hi Amy, well now that you have told us you dont have a camera we can understand --- I suggest that you post about that on the front page - just say you would like to update but have no camera, that way a lot more members will see it and you never know you might get some reaction Rosie ps -- not in big angry letters mind lol

      ha ha, and probably not the kind of reaction that will do me any good.

    • March 30, 2013 9:27 PM GMT
    • Hi Amy, well now that you have told us you dont have a camera we can understand --- I suggest that you post about that on the front page - just say you would like to update but have no camera, that way a lot more members will see it and you never know you might get some reaction
      Rosie
      ps -- not in big angry letters mind lol

    • March 30, 2013 7:52 PM GMT
    • rosie Bush (moderator and news editor) said:
      Hi Amy, I'm sorry you feel that way, but we dont seem to see much of you -- try joining in a bit more -- and perhaps a new photo might help, I like to think all are welcome ( except for spammers etc lol) Rosie

       

      Anyone got a spare frickin' digital camera? If anyone does, send it my way, or else quit asking about new photos because until I can take photos of myself, I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO POST NEW PHOTOS DAMN IT ALL! NO CAMERA MEANS NO PHOTOS NOW UNLESS ANYONE PLANS TO HELP ME OUT WITH THIS QUIT ASKING ME FOR PHOTOS!!!!

    • March 30, 2013 10:49 AM GMT
    • Amy Carter said:I will say it, I don't feel very welcomed here. I feel incredibly and wrongfully ignored.
       
      Amy, have you posted anyting on the Home page or in any of the forums?  Have you sent Friends Reque4sts?  If not, then that's a start.  
       
      Af frew people have posted non-transgender stufrf on the Home page or anywhere else like I do and I am not around that much, also with posts and pics you see, esepcially on the Home page
       
       you can "like" the posts and when somebody replies you get an email about that new comment or like.
       
      Don't despair, a lot of people who are part of groups on the internet join and then become lurkers and don't parcipate at all.

    • June 23, 2013 7:19 PM BST
    • Hi Alice.

       

      Thanks for taking the time to read and reply.

       

      Have to admit that im prone to put myself down. Bit of a defence mechanism I suppose. I realise that whatever I might think, I am on some kind of journey, just dont seem to have the map, and someone has removed all the signposts!

       

      I have dipped my toe into chat a few times and have already talked to some lovely people on here, who have made me feel most welcome. Hopefully the start of some good frienships, who knows, but at least they listened to my somewhat vague ramblings, so couldnt ask for more.

       

      Maybe see you in there at some stage.

       

      Tina

    • June 22, 2013 8:22 PM BST
    • Hi Tina

      I think its time to stop belittleing yourself and recognising that we are all on a journey. We just dont really know where it is going most of the time. You are likely to find many friendly people here to chat to and share advice and other interesting stuff. Get into the chatrooms and make yourself at home. There are many shoulders to cry on, but also plenty of things to smile about too. Enjoy.

       

      Alice  

    • June 17, 2013 8:43 AM BST
    • Hi all.

       

      Joined a couple of weeks ago, so thought I would finally get round to saying a proper hello.

       

      Big thank you first off to those who took the time to welcome me, much appreciated and to those who made me feel at ease in my first foray into the chat room.

       

      My profile probably need work, but I guess most people feel like that, so will say its a work in progress, but think it gives an idea of who I am.

       

      Just returning to being Tina again after a long absence. Older if not wiser now. Not always easy dealing with the mental and physical conflicts, but again I know thats not unique. Last time around, very nearly decided to go down the whole hormone/surgery route, but kind of realise now that although I wish and feel I had been born a girl, it was just not meant to be. If I have to co-habit with the him side, so be it. After all he has to work to pay for the clothes, make-up etc, so he has his uses, lol, just his body and bits are a tad annoying!

       

      Currently starting out from scratch with the wardrobe, one of the major downsides of the dreaded "purge", so again its a work in progress. Have thought about pitching the idea on Dragons Den about a storage/ dressing place for those who like me attempt to burn their bridges, but end up returning once again. Would certainly have saved me a fortune!!

       

      Well prattling on I suppose so will just say a few bits before letting you get back to the far more interesting past time of watching paint dry. 

       

      Why am I here? Well, really hope to make some friends, as God its a lonely existence. Advice, support and maybe just the odd shoulder to cry on would be nice. Im realistic about what I am and how I look, so although I have my dreams and hope that there mabe that special person out there, just being part of something will do.

       

      As I have now gotten another year older, bet you feel like that if your still reading!! have set myself some goals for my new year on planet earth. Drop a dress size (or 2 or 3), go out dressed (never managed that in any incarnation), improve my look and maybe get a make-over, and get some pics.

       

      Well, thanky you for reading this if you managed to get this far.

       

      Hope I will get the chance to say hi to some of you, in the future.

       

      Hugs and kisses.

       

      Tina xx

    • May 28, 2013 11:48 AM BST
    • Lovely stuff, its so good to get to be the real you isn't it? X

    • May 28, 2013 11:26 AM BST
    • Good Morning all, and what a beautiful day it is too. Sun is out, sky is blue, and i dont have to go in to work, yippee!

       

      I work in a very male dominated field (construction merchants), so cant really be myself. But as soon as i am home, shower, shave, and relax into being me, Ayla. i always look forward to my days off, cause i can be me all day, from finishing work the day before, all the next day, right up til the following morning, when i have to pretend again lol.

       

      this post is really my way of finally being abale to say I'm HAPPY!!! yey, soooo good.

       

      lots of love to you all,

       

      Ayla xxxxxxxx

       

      Kiss

    • May 14, 2013 1:01 AM BST
    • Embarassed  I kind of bounce around and sometimes all over ah hell most of the time. i just got here a few days ago and i have a meet a wonderfull person already, yes billie you a rough daimond. So good, kind, nice, sweet, ect i could go on and on. ( and i don't mean any offence) Anyhow i have found the door a few times but not gotten in open yet. I don't really know what to say so i will leave it here and say huggs. So i have alot of questions and of course looking for guidence in my path to find meet and be the best and happyest me i can be.

       

      I have not found any where in the search for how to start and or what is a good first step.

       

       i mean i got some gaff's but i really don't like to wear them. they feel like thats a night out kind of underwear( there are so small) and i have some undiess that i can tie up them with ( smiles) for everyday wearing. But that's not really changing anything for me. the (boys) for lack of anything else to say, kind of hide back there anyhow. But do i go for the night clothes and make up, mirror , get my ears pierced ( found some great earing ) little dolphins and a claps. or do i go out and get my beard lazored off??  sorry maybe i sould blog all of this instead.  

    • May 10, 2013 11:32 PM BST
    • Thank you Joanne Lee. I am looking forward to getting to know them, and also learnign more from people in here xx

    • May 10, 2013 11:10 PM BST
    • Welcome Louisa. Enjoy your stay as there are plenty of nice people here

    • May 10, 2013 3:09 PM BST
    • Hello all you lovely people. I have just joined and want to get to know you. I am a friendly girl (m2f trans), and live full time as a girl. 

      Still so much for me to learn

       

      Kiss kiss

      Louisa

      x

    • April 29, 2013 4:27 PM BST
    • Hi Catie, wow, that's quite an itinerary, it sounds so fun and exciting, I'm envious. Drop me a line when you're here in the States and if you make it as far north as Seattle (a great city for girls like us) just drop me a line a few days ahead of time and we can see about meeting up. Have fun on your travels, best of luck and take care. Hugs...Joni Mari

    • April 28, 2013 5:52 PM BST
    • Hi Joni

      What a lovely thought...thank you
      We are due to arrive In LA mid July and we have 9 weeks in America....was thinking West Coast few weeks... South, maybe Miami...and East Coast into Canada... any suggestions appreciated.
      We have been travelling 6 months....Asia, Australia...currently in NZ.
      I love travelling but getting glammed up in a camper van...well !
      I miss my Karen Millen dresses, heels and having more than one colour of nail varnish...oh well
      Thank you again for your kind offer...you never know
      Hugs
      Catie xx

    • April 28, 2013 4:56 PM BST
    • Hi Catie, best of luck in your travels and other endeavors. If you're ever in the Seattle area during your journey, please drop me a line, I'd be glad to meet up for a bite to eat or something. Take care and good wishes. Hugs...Joni Mari

    • April 6, 2013 10:42 PM BST
    • Hi Girls

      I am one of the 'old girls' from the Trannyweb days...used to be Sarah Jane Valentine before coming out as Catie Maye 4 years ago. Now definitely very out and 'frilly' proud in Milton Keynes, just down the road.
      I am currently travelling around the world...yes lingerie and dresses fill most of my rucksack !
      I am currently working on a book 'Men Can Wear Dresses' and producing more of the doodles with a TG message....
      Don't have any decent pics...so profile pic...one of the early doodles.
      Will upgrade when I can find decent Internet here in our little pink camper van in NZ
      Love to all
      Catie Maye xx

    • April 17, 2013 10:27 PM BST
    • Hello All,

      My name is Janet and I'm new here.

      Well that's not strictly speaking true as I was here some time ago as Lucy James.

      I'm a very shy, very infrequent dresser hoping to meet some new friends and start to build the confidence to come out.

      Speak soon

      Luv

      Janet

    • April 4, 2013 11:30 PM BST
    • Hi to everyone on the site. I'm a crossdresser turned transgender woman for the past 3 years. Finally gave in to my inner most desires and gender. Been on hormones past 2 years and under went electrolysis/ Am waiting to undergo cosmetic surgery this summer if there a no more delays (anxious is an understatement). Started transition in January with GT pkay. Older than most, so much time lost. Drat.  Hugs to all, Dorothy 

    • April 4, 2013 11:30 PM BST
    • Hi to everyone on the site. I'm a crossdresser turned transgender woman for the past 3 years. Finally gave in to my inner most desires and gender. Been on hormones past 2 years and under went electrolysis/ Am waiting to undergo cosmetic surgery this summer if there a no more delays (anxious is an understatement). Started transition in January with GT pkay. Older than most, so much time lost. Drat.  Hugs to all, Dorothy