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    • May 13, 2018 1:52 PM BST
    • I was the tom-boy supreme (still am) and I wanted to be a boy. I adjusted to being a female (not a very normal one, and certainly certainly not a lady). But it's till weird at times.

      Where (and when) I grew up there was no concept at all of "transgender". I thought I was just very odd. And at times it was appallingly lonely.

      I think 7 is too young, for her to decide anything, or for any decision to be necessary, but by 10 give her a chance to learn about this stuff, if you think there is any possible doubt about her identity. Don't make it about her. Just find ways to introduce that sort of information in her cultural environment. If she feels it's significnt she will pick up on it, and if not, probably not.

    • May 4, 2018 10:09 PM BST
    • Thanks girls.  Yeah, I know this stuff.  The thing that I am afraid of is getting it wrong.  I don't want to start putting ideas in her head, but on the other side I don't want to mess up if she is my son.  Perhaps I am projecting my own childhood issues onto her.  Perhaps I am too close to be objective.  Arghhhh.

       

      So yeah, I will sit and wait and be supportive.  I will try and talk and listen and just be there for her or him.  Not easy being a parent.  If she is a tomboy.  Fair enough.  If she is trans.  Then fair enough.  My job, as a parent, is to ensure that my children are safe, happy and have a future.  If that future is male, the fair enough as well.

       

      Anyway, thank god (not bad for an atheist) that this site is here and I can ask these sorts of questions without all of the usual judgmental junk I usually get.

       

      Love

       

      Alice

    • May 3, 2018 5:21 PM BST
    • Great advice from Katie, urgency for quick diagnosis is not so important when genetic female children are involved,    Social demands for instance, lots of young female models,look more like young boys.    Also one must be very careful broaching this subject with very young children, that they don't take up on a suggestion. interpret a question of gender that might affect how they feel as they get older.Up until infant school I had fairly long wavy curly hair,  The day before I started school my father took me to have my head shaved, my sister demanded she had hers done in the same style.

    • May 3, 2018 4:54 PM BST
    • I agree with Cristine.  However, you could always ask your daughter.  Talk to her.  If she says she feels like a boy then maybe put that thought on the back burner, so to speak.  You could then ask her again in a few months and see if she gives the same answer.

      In my experience, children know from a pretty early age if they are unhappy in their skin.  If it's just a one-off then, as Cristine says, she will grow into a 'normal' young lady.  However, if she is Transgender she will not change.  She will be adamant that she should be a boy, every time you ask. 

      If her answer is the same, again and again over time, then perhaps you should consider a consultation with your GP, who will be able to refer her to a Gender specialist.

      If it turns out that she is Transgender, then it will be important for her to start treatment before she hits puberty and irreversible changes take place, although puberty can be delayed medically.

      It's early days though and you should not think about that until you know for sure that your daughter is Trans.  For now, assume she is just going through a phase, like kids often do.

      Hope that's helpful.

      Best regards,

      Katie   :)

    • May 3, 2018 4:16 PM BST
    • Hiya Alice, my sister was a tom boy, always in jeans and shorts, liked to climb trees, play football, she developed into a ''normal'' young lady. your right not to push, just let her grow up. 

    • May 2, 2018 9:38 PM BST
    • One of my daughters is 7.  She likes football and riding bikes.  However, she also has male body language and posture.  Just recently she asked for her hair to be cut short, so we went for a pageboy, but was originally pointing to male styles.  All of her friends are boys and she recently asked if she has to grow up with a female body.  

       

      We are playing the wait and see game, although puberty is hopefully a few years off. 

       

      OK She may be a son and not a daughter.  So should we continue to wait and see or is there something we should be doing now?  I don't want to push her into something.  Arghhh.  

       

      Don't know on this one.

       

      All advice welcome

       

      Advice?

    • December 10, 2017 1:47 AM GMT
    • Yes - I was "outed" over ten years ago by my last girlfriend (i was still trying to be straight). It was such a turn on-- she found pics etc. on my computer and that was the end of that. She told everyone including my family.

      So i'm totally out today and it feels great to be a gay sissy faggot!

    • November 22, 2016 3:25 PM GMT
    • Hi All,

      I am a Fashion student in the Uk looking for participants in my coursework. I am rebranding suit designer Brioni to be accesible for Trans-men, and need models for my campaign. This person would need to be quite confident in themselves, and as I can appreciate the struggle of transitioning I feel that I may be shooting in the dark here, but I would really like to be able to realise the idea I have to represent Trans-men in this industry. 

      If you could please contact me if you are interested on - fashionstudent@mail.com

      Kind regards,

      Annabel Morris

    • September 19, 2016 9:26 PM BST
    • I think you will find it is illegal to offer body parts for sale, even your own, and or to invite, anyone to conduct surgery upon you which even by invitation would be viewed as a criminal offence, eg, GBH, a similie would be in an arguement you tell someone to ''go on then punch me in the face'' which even without the recipiant making a complaint could be considered ABH and a subsequet conviction of the person  delivering the punch.

      Under section 32 of the HT Act, it is an offence to engage in commercial dealings in 'controlled material'. Controlled material means material which consists of or includes human cells (excluding gametes and embryos), which is – or is intended to be – removed from a human body for the purpose of transplantation.

      A person guilty of an offence under section 32 is liable to imprisonment and/or a fine. The HT Act is, however, silent on the sale of bodies, body parts or tissue for other purposes and such sales are therefore outside the remit of the HTA.

       

      I think your being overly simplistic,   Consider what would be involved, an anesthetic, a skilled surgeon, surgery to ensure that the urinary tract remains functional, that's not counting getting tissue matches and transplant procedures,

      Consider the exteme scenario if you died as a result of an illicit procedure, the person performing such surgery would at the very least be convicted of manslaughter.

      Phallophobia? I realy think you need to seek proffesional help, not so much from a surgeon but a therapist.

       

    • September 18, 2016 11:26 PM BST
    • Sean Razel said:

      Hi there. Is it possible for a man to donate his penis to a woman looking to become a man? I don't want to have a penis, I want to keep my testicles, but I strongly want to one day have my penis cut off as I do not want it on my body. Are there any females wanting genital surgery that would be interested in the idea of having my oenis transplanted to them? I would want the person who is receiving it to amputate it ideally. Any females want to consider the idea of chopping my unwanted willy off?


    • September 18, 2016 6:04 PM BST
    • Sorry about that Lucy Have been thinking about my unusual feeling for a few years now and just wanted to put it out there and see what was said.
      I did not mean to cause any offence. I presume the comment notifications o received were people telling u to remove my penis photos. I won't put any explicit photos on again. Thank you for understanding and not kicking me completely.

    • September 18, 2016 9:09 AM BST
    • I've had to remove your explicit photos, Sean, as we don't allow those on this site, sorry.

      Good luck in your rather unusual quest, though I'd highly recommend you seek the assistance of a qualified (and understanding) surgeon to achieve it.

    • September 18, 2016 8:01 AM BST
    • Hi there. Is it possible for a man to donate his penis to a woman looking to become a man? I don't want to have a penis, I want to keep my testicles, but I strongly want to one day have my penis cut off as I do not want it on my body. Are there any females wanting genital surgery that would be interested in the idea of having my oenis transplanted to them? I would want the person who is receiving it to amputate it ideally. Any females want to consider the idea of chopping my unwanted willy off?

    • May 22, 2016 7:01 PM BST
    • I've been in this position except it was with a homosexual man... He would only date "real" men and we were "just friends". I know how much it hurts to be turned down and feeling "not good enough". I wish I could say this person will come around and accept you, but that's just not guranteed. Something you may want to ask yourself is can you stay just a friend to them or will jealousy get in the way? I always ended up getting jealous of the men my friend dated and in the end it ruined our friendship. Honestly, it wasn't worth it and I'd hate to see the same thing happen to you or anyone else. I don't know how long you've known this person and been friends, but just thought I'd share my experience. I hope whatever happens works out for the best and I wish you well.

    • April 21, 2016 5:36 AM BST
    • As you are not responding and maybe to busy I will just say "**** happens then" so get over it..........

    • April 18, 2016 5:31 PM BST
    • I have only seen the edited version of this but for what it is worth here is my opinion. If she loves you and loves you enough then she will stick by you. You have to realise that love can work both ways , it can draw you closer or tear you both apart. Allow her to be your friend if that is what she wants.

      If things change in the future then they change but you have to realise it is her decision how far she wants to take a relationship. A relationship is a 2 way street and a one way one will fail.

      Be gratefull for her friendship and wait and see.

       

      Take care , Julia x

    • April 18, 2016 11:17 AM BST
    • Hi. I’m a transgender and I’m in love with someone. She is not ready to accept me only because I’m a transgender. I love her so much and I’m ready to do anything for her. I’m even considering FTM top surgery in Mississauga, but I’m not sure whether she will accept me if I go under the knife. I’m totally broken. She says she can only accept me as her friend and  not as her partner. I know she loves me but she is denying it only because I’m a transgender. I felt like ending up my life but I don’t have the courage to do that either. I cannot live without her. Please advise.

       

    • May 22, 2016 6:47 PM BST
    • I'm really new to all this and was thinking about binding, but with all the risks there are I'm not too sure now. I'm a bit of a hypochondriac to be honest lol. Are there any other options besides binding and top surgery? 

    • May 21, 2016 6:45 AM BST
    • So I have an anonymous friend that is starting to take T. His voice is already fairly deep, but I know he want it to drop more. About how long will this take? Just estimates

    • April 27, 2016 4:56 PM BST
    • Nikki,

      Thank you for that bit of information about the Olympic committee, I didn't know, and I'm glad they are fair.

      You are very understanding (about not contesting it). If you have the same hormone levels as any other female, then you've won fair and square. It's your height, level of training, determination and willpower that got you there.

      If I trained hard and competed next to you, I'd give you a run for your money, but perhaps your height would be an advantage (I'm only five feet tall). In the army I definitely learned to widen my stride and keep up with the guys...like I mentioned, even passing many of them (older men, and men with a bit of a pot belly showing). It would be rare but still possible for me to pass up a short or medium statured twenty something male.

      As of now...I'm totally out of shape and let my muscles completely atrophy over the years. I just started strength training again, doing push ups and light weights. Let me see if I can post a recent picture of me flexing... I do consider myself lucky, I've barely worked out so far and am showing some definition. My childhood friend would pine after my muscle tone, we were both skinny, stick thin teenagers, but she noticed definition in my calves, biceps, etc. I've totally embraced having slightly higher than normal T levels, and if I did a test, it might be even higher than yours! (I've embraced it because I have no ill effects besides a lifetime of acne...I'm not the bearded lady...I know other genetic women suffer with illnesses that cause high T levels which is a detriment to their health, and I feel bad for them...)

    • April 24, 2016 6:12 PM BST
    • As far as the Olympic commitee are concerned, a transsexual woman can enter any event as long as she has been on hormone therapy for a minimum of two years and is post op. I don't know what the stance is for transsexual men though. 

      I regularly compete in triathlons and I choose to make my past known to the organisors. The only issue I have had to date is to be denied a top three medal. That could be contested but I can understand their point of view and I am content to go along with that. If I was a lot younger and competing semi-professionally, then I would contest it but as an amateur athlete, I can live with it. 

    • April 14, 2016 7:01 PM BST
    • Nikki, going off your point of unfair advantage for transsexual women, can you believe there was a controversy brewing regarding naturally high testosterone women in sports? Should they be banned? "Should ‘High T’ determine eligibility for women’s sports?"
      http://reuters.com/article/idUSKBN0L22IN20150129

      Lucy's article about the swimmer touched me, I can relate to him being closer to the end of the other males now, because when I was in the Army, I told myself that I was going to be able to keep up with the weakest male, so no one would be able to say that I was holding them back. In my very first topic post here on GS I mentioned that my basic training was the first co ed basic training ever in the US, and I had overheard one of the males saying that the females were holding him back, and another male agreed. They weren't saying it to be mean, they were all great, friendly guys. But that stuck with me, and on every PT test in my 6 years in the army, instead of doing the 18 required push ups for females, I did 52 or 54, the passing number for males! I also ran my 2 miles in record time, every time I passed up a male, I internally yelled YES! So I passed the male standards on all aspects of the PT test.

      Is it because of mind over matter and determination or because I'm a high T woman? Maaaybe a little bit of both. But how can it be an unfair advantage? People are all born differently...how can you help how you are born? And sometimes just pure mind over matter and determination beats nature/other advantageous athletes any day.

    • April 12, 2016 7:30 PM BST
    • I hope so, as the US is going backwards in it's human rights/LGBT issues. 

      I'm curious to see if he attracts the same negativity as a transsexual woman does; ie.e accused of having an unfair advantage. 

    • April 12, 2016 9:14 AM BST
    • Harvard swimmer switches to male team.

      I really want to see this guy doing well and getting noticed:

      http://www.boston.com/news/sports-news/2016/04/11/harvard-swimmer?s_campaign=bcom

      With positive role models like this maybe places like North Carolina will start to have second thoughts about their silly bathroom/changing room laws.

    • March 12, 2016 10:41 AM GMT
    • I was just reading some old posts Crissie and this is just one that caught my eye , I remebered it from when it was posted. Maybe I should have let it be but after Leelah Alcorn's suicide and many others before and after it just hit me right where it hurts.

       

      Julia xx

       

       

    • March 12, 2016 12:07 AM GMT
    • It is very important that we take all claims from members that  they are under age are genuine, searching for help, yes we might get the odd idiot, troll whatever, but better to waste a few minutes on the stupid than risk upsetting and destroying a young person's life, dismissing them out of hand and making them feel like total rejects.

       

      Moderators who edit and close profiles, have links to specialist youth sites, every person who appears under age should be sent the links  to help them in a kind, sympathetic way. if they are trolls or idiots they get their profiles closed down anyway. hopefully the genuine ones will find the advice and links given to them  helpful.

    • May 6, 2015 9:32 AM BST
    • I think there should be a seperate forum for underage young people who can ask about their questions and problems. 

    • December 2, 2014 11:33 PM GMT
    • It would be good Crissie if there could be a seperate part of GS where young trans people can go to with a Moderator that has been CRV checked. This website is one of , if not the safest place to avoid sexual content. When anyone puts transgender into a search engine they just get hit with dating sites. I can only imagine what must be going though their minds if they enter them , some make me sick at my age. Just maybe one day it could be done and not allow older members to enter that part without permission.

    • December 2, 2014 10:09 PM GMT
    • I find it heartbreaking that we have to turn young people away, but we are not qualified to deal with young people, we have had people here as young as 14 obviously in distress, genuine. and it worries me that they could end up on other rather obnoxious sites. but we have to do what we do to protect this site, even though we do get the odd idiot on here, and the odd troll, the fear of young people becoming enamoured with some who offer advice whilst not intending to, advice that could be inappropriate, perhaps even being groomed,

    • December 2, 2014 9:55 PM GMT
    • Thanks for that Crissie.

      It is hard to figure out sometimes if it is someone just playing games or are genuine. I am pleased Mia would have been sent links to help her out.

       

      Julia xxx

    • December 2, 2014 9:33 PM GMT
    • This member was asked to leave because they were under age, its very often those in most need of help are under the minimum age for this site.    They would have been sent a message/email outlining the conditions and given links to what is legally considered more appropriate sites, for those young people in need.

      But many thanks for the concern and help that was given.

    • December 1, 2014 8:44 PM GMT
    • The member has gone Jasper! That is why I posted was it something I said? . It would have made no difference who responded the same would have happened. The last one that done this I kept out of just to watch the member vanish. Some of these cases are genuine! It is hard to figure out who is and who isn't. I am going to take each case as genuine untill I am given cause not to.

       

      Take care , Julia

    • March 11, 2016 6:24 AM GMT
    • Sorry for the late reply. I have recently joined this site and came across your comment. I’ve undergone female to male sex reassignment surgery. When I was 16 years old, I felt more masculine on the inside, even though I had a feminine appearance. I started becoming dominant in many cases and that was the time I realised I’m not a female inside. I was really stressed as I was scared to share this with anyone. Surprisingly my parents understood me and they supported me. I was really happy as they were with me but I told them I need to change completely to be myself both inside and outside. Money was a problem for us too and I waited till I have the money I needed for the procedure. I went along with my parents to McLean Clinic in Mississauga and I was counselled by my surgeon Dr. McLean before scheduling for the surgery. Now I’m happy because I have become a complete man inside out outside.

      I think if you have a support from your parents you won’t be feeling depressed. And about the gay thing, you should talk to the guy whom you are interested about your feelings. Maybe someone will understand your feelings. It’s better to save your money and get a sex reassignment surgery ASAP, only then you can enjoy yourselves. Don’t worry everything will be alright.

    • November 5, 2015 9:12 PM GMT
    • Not sure you'll see this reply if you don't come to the site now but I felt your mail desreved a reply even if its just one of sympathy...  Must be hard for

    • July 9, 2015 8:55 AM BST
    • I understood recently that I am not feeling myself in my body. I am perfecty sure that I am a man. But I have a female body.

      The thing is I can't even change my appearance now because I don't have money for that. And that really supresses me very much. 

      I am 19 old. And in my country - that is Russia - it's very hard to earn money and even find comfortable job.
      I'd wish I was a man. And have a man's body, but I think that it's a bad idea to make a surgery, because I think that it does great harm to an organism. And I'll have to take hormone pills my whole life then, so my health can really suffer from this, but I wanna live very long. Don't want to get my life shorter.

      So, I wanted to say that I need some help. I need to find at least people to talk to, who understand me. I feel really hard now. In a great depression.

      And moreover, I am mostly gay. But gays will never look at me because I have a body of a girl.

      What should I do? 

    • March 10, 2016 8:38 PM GMT
    • Yes, but nobody needs a ***** that big! 

    • September 16, 2015 10:33 PM BST
    • they say that most folks that enter politics are one (penis0   ,so thats my suggestion

    • August 24, 2015 6:21 AM BST
    • Hello gentlemen, in my research of any and everything trans I've come upon these interesting videos about creating a penis for a person born biologically female.

      The first video is the process. It's quite graphic. It's a video of the surgical procedure.

      The second video is the finished product. It's an episode of a short lived show I like called My Transexual Summer. It's one of those put-strangers-in-a-house-together-and-see-what- happens shows but with all transgendered people. Anyway, this episode focuses more on F2M and has a post-op man show his new tool to the pre-op guys and explain how it works and everything. 

      I hope you find this helpful, or at the very least educational. 

       

      Process:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAXBYIm_tpQ

       

      Finished product:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDYoz_SKX2w

    • March 10, 2016 8:35 PM GMT
    • Jasper posted a lot of very good information in the FTM forum, and we used to chat quite regularly. He certainly knows his stuff so bear with it Sian. I train a lot myself and would be happy to help out with some advise if you can't find anything. For what it's worth I was a qualified instructor with BAWLA (years before transition). 

      In a nutshell though......

      Be realistic about your goals. 

      Always use good form and do not sacrifice form for heavier weights.  

      Use 'basic' exercises to begin with in order to build up strength. (Bench proess, squats, pull-ups, wide grip chins etc). 

      Don't neglect any muscles. Too many guys concentrate on their upper bodies only and end up looking like Johnny Bravo!! 

    • March 10, 2016 9:40 AM GMT
    • I am pleased to hear that Sian and pleased you have found your way around to pages that may help you/your partner. It saddens me that there are not more FtM's who do not hang around here. FtM's have my greatest respect for all of what they go through in their lives. Some MtF's think FtM's are mad needing to become who they are , some never stop to think they are doing the same thing but in the opposite gender , it is not all about us MtF's as you well know.

       

      PS: They are not my pages lol , they are for everyone to learn from. Take care and welcome (to you both).

       

      Julia x

       

      Post edited.

    • March 10, 2016 9:07 AM GMT
    • I've no probes being patient because it'll take me ages to go through all your pages lol. X

    • March 10, 2016 7:27 AM GMT
    • Hi Sian.

      No problem. Can I please just ask you to be patient?. FtM's come here but most vanish because it may seem like you have a lack of support. You are outnumbered by MtF's  but please do not feel isolated by that , you are not. There are people here who care.

      I personally would like to see more in your situation hang around here. This website is not sex driven like most trans sites are so it is unique in that way.

      You have already found the FtM forum here and there is a mine of information in it. You may also have noticed it is not used much , I personally want to see that change because it makes you look and maybe feel like a minority within a minority.

      Jasper is in a different time zone but he does log in , I want you to give him something to do , lol .

       

      Take care and look after each other , Julia x

       

    • March 10, 2016 12:15 AM GMT
    • Thanks so much for your help Julia x

    • March 10, 2016 12:05 AM GMT
    • Hi Sian. The website is no longer active , I did also get a security warning searching for it so please be very careful.

       

      They do have a Youtube account which I will put a link to at the end of this. Please be very careful of anyone asking you to donate or pay for information.

      I am sure Jasper will help you when he logs in.

       

      https://youtube.com/user/FTMFitnessWorld

       

      Take care , Julia x

    • March 9, 2016 10:11 PM GMT
    • It doesn't do anything now are you able to update the link plz?

    • October 5, 2015 8:20 AM BST
    • Hi! One of my friends is considering ftm surgery. She is bit afraid of the argument that changing sex is morally wrong, but I’m trying my best to support her. I would like to know the experience of those who had this surgery. She is considering to consult Dr. McLean in Mississauga for her ftm surgery( http://www.ftmtopsurgery.ca/ftm-procedures/double-incision-mastectomy/ ). I read a few blogs explaining tips to speedy recovery for a transgender cosmetic surgery. Do you have any good tips to share?

    • March 15, 2015 9:56 AM GMT
    • www.HelpFundMyTransition.com

      I spent $1.17 for a link and redirected it to my online fundraiser. Feel free to do the same (godaddy.com) or feel free to post/share my link to chats, forums, and social media. I believe in Karma, and by sharing what I've done/learned, I feel will being good karma. At least I hope!! :-)

    • February 28, 2015 5:22 PM GMT
    • For testosterone they say you shouldn't smoke because it increases your risk of a heart attack. Thats the reason some doctors won't perscribe T if your a smoker. Surgury I'm not fully sure as Julia said you should check with your doctor. Really though with the additional risks smoking creates when mixed with hormone therapy it may be a good idea to quit smoking. Also thinking about it from an adiction stand point after three days if I'm recalling correctly the nicotine is compleatly out of your system leaving only a mental adiction not a physical addiction. Just a thought.

    • January 1, 2015 1:59 AM GMT
    • Well Dane how long is a piece of string?. Here in the UK they say a smoker has to quit for 3 months before any hormones can be prescribed. So there has to be a logical reason for that time to be set. Unless you have any health problems that any doctor says would put you at risk then it is up to you and the doctors to decide between yourselves.

       

      I wish you good luck and best wishes .

       

      Julia x

    • January 1, 2015 1:31 AM GMT
    • I recently quit smoking cigarettes.. My question is how long should I wait before setting a date for my top surgery?