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    • August 27, 2017 8:18 PM BST
    • Hey everyone,just a note to say that in October (probably), I'd like to host several books/authors of transgender romance (sweet to erotic) on my blog... if you have favourite stories, feel free to point them out! Selfpublished is fine as long as the book is presentable (decent editing, passable cover).

      Romance, not essays or dramatic biographies. ;)

    • August 2, 2017 4:20 PM BST
    • Congratulations and much success with the book!

    • August 2, 2017 5:41 AM BST
    • Thank you... I am very attached to this story,not only because it comes after the longest writer block I ever remember (awful!), but because there is so much of me in it, and quite simply, it's the most beautiful love story i ever wrote :)

    • August 2, 2017 3:15 AM BST
    • Incredibly awesome!!!

      Congrats and best wishes going forward...(smile)

      Traci xoxo

    • August 1, 2017 4:39 PM BST
    • Very happy that my new romance story has been accepted for publishing. Now that the contract is signed I can even glow a little (I am a bit superstitious, comes with being Italian) .

      There are two slightly-to-very gender-fickle ;) characters in the story, one of which was easy to write (very autobiographical lol), for the other, I needed some input...

      I owe many thanks to many people who wrote things on these boards, and some who exchanged messages with me with infinite generosity and a good deal of humour. You know who you are, out there :)

      Hugs, and again thanks!!

       

       

       

    • June 15, 2017 12:04 PM BST
    • LOL, don't worry, whatever you come up with will be lightyears better than what I could as far as music goes. XD I don't know rhythm at all lol. There's no rush. All great art takes time. =)

    • June 14, 2017 10:17 PM BST
    • Yes and no to outlines...yes in setting aside catchy riffs to plug into appropriate places in the melody...no, in that I'm not that good!  LOL

      This might take forever or I might complete it in one sitting tonight or whenever! (smile)

      Traci xoxo

    • June 14, 2017 5:30 AM BST
    • Traci, Oh yeah, that happens to me quite a bit lol. I find that in writing, an outline can help, but not sure that would do any good with music lol.

    • June 13, 2017 5:20 PM BST
    • Just a case of "writer's block", only in musical format!  LOL

      xoxo

    • June 13, 2017 7:36 AM BST
    • Katia, I do believe Wattpad and Writer's Digest are pretty good places where I can get tips for publishing. (I've gotten a few, but it's sometimes hard to tell who is legit and who isn't lol). Writer's Digest was actually recommended to me by my professor and when I joined it, they sorta, well, they didn't snub me, but they didn't seem too impressed that I was sharing my work on wattpad and told me it was a very unprofessional site. I still like to share my work there to get people's opinions on my work, but when I need real critiques, I go to Writer's Digest. I do have a practice chapter one of Obsession on wattpad right now, but after I read a bit more, I plan on editing it again. I will be sure to be careful as far as contracts go and will get to writing again right away! =) 

      PS: If you want to check out what I have of Obsession, I believe my wattpad account is on my profile.

       

       

      Traci, Mostly speaking Greek to me, but I think I have a general idea of what you mean lol. Sorry to hear you are having a bit of trouble. I know how that is as far as art goes. I'm always having to re-write things and scrap ideas. I'm just glad to hear you are having a good time working on my poem. Still looking forward to whatever you come up with. =)

    • June 13, 2017 12:15 AM BST
    • Hi Kris...just a quick update on working with melodies for your poem...I'm struggling with "meter" and fitting in phrases and words to make it "tight".  Think of "meter" as the "beats per measure" as in l 1-2-3-4 l or l 1-2 and 1-2 l or l 1 and 1-2-3 l where a "measure" is a consistent, defined "time" in music structure.  I get started with something, then find myself bogged down and move on to other things musically not really related to your poem.  The good news is I developed a pretty cool sounding melody with my guitar tuned down to DADGAD, which for any guitarists out there, means some pretty deep bottom sounds in a powerful key.  Led Zepplin's "Kashmir" is played in this tuning...I made your "chorus" piece ring with my tune but just keep stumbling with the verses...

      At worst, this is a wonderful mental exercise for me as it is a challenge.  That said, I might be trying too hard to fit your words into a complex melody when something simple and clean might be a better fit.  But I've never taken the "normal" path in life (smile) so I'll keep lugging away at it while keeping options open to something simple!  

      Thnx for letting me do this...

      Traci xoxo

    • June 12, 2017 1:12 PM BST
    • Ah ah, no, everything I told you is no more than anyone can pick up doing a bit of research on the topic. Since I've been there before you I really don't mind giving you some general idea of how things are, but believe me, for a published author I am still fantastically clueless about the whole business. That is why I would feel much better if you signed up to some dedicated forums. You can find lots of poeple more savvy than I am, especially in different genres, and also more up to date. I haven't published anything sice 2013 (2014? Now I can't remember, jeez, old age, what can I say) and things change fast.

      As for the contract, yes, I would make sure that there is a clause reverting book rights immediately to you if the publisher cease payments. Sometimes there isn't. Although nothing like that ever happened to me, I have read perfect horror stories of colleagues trying for YEARS to wrestle their books back from bankrupted publishers. This seems to me the main risk going with new, small publishers, so make sure to keep your a*s well covered in that sense!!

       

      Now go and get some writing done, will ya (I'll try and do the same)?? :)

       

      Ciao, K

       

    • June 12, 2017 8:34 AM BST
    • Thanks again so much for all the information. It's very helpful and you definitely seem to know your stuff haha.

      The only thing I'm still not sure I understand is that last part about the contract. Do you mean if the publisher goes belly up, the contract will or should say that all rights will go to me? 

      Very grateful for all your help and yes, I'll be sure to write the book exactly the length it's meant to be. =)

    • June 11, 2017 8:26 AM BST
    • Scams....

      If you start prowling into writing circles, chances are that you can directly talk to authors who signed up with publishers that interest you. Best thing to do, if you have a chance.

      Many publishers have a Facebook page where sometimes readers can interact with their authors etc. Another good way to check out things and get in touch with people (do it politely and keep it short, most writers hate to waste time online when they could be writing, or at least lounging on the sofa with a cold beer).

      In any case any half decent indie publisher must have some books (and e-books) out there. You should be able to find a list of their titles on their website and check them out on Amazon, Smashwords, Barnes and Nobles, all the usual places. Download some free samples while you are at it, to get an idea of how good their editors are.

      It never hurts to google "publisher-name beware". If there are alarm bells ringing already, chances are some pissed off author will have mentioned it somewhere.

      Never sign a contract where they ask you money. That is either a fraud or vanity publishing (if you want to selfpublish you can do it for free). As a newbie author you won't get much wiggle space in your contracts, but you should certainly never have to PAY your publisher!!

      Speaking of contracts, they are usual pretty standard, but one thing I advise making a point of, is that there is a clause specifying that, should the publisher go belly up (something that small houses do with alarming frequency), the book's rights will directly revert to you. Or you risk finding yourself in a limbo where they have ceised payments but you can't get your hands on your book for republishing it somewhere else.

       

      Well, anyway. This is all way, way down the line. The reason I started babbling about the publishing world, is that I wanted you to know that there is space for all sort of books, long and short etc. So write your story the way the story needs it. Don't stretch it into a novel unless it needs to be a novel. Focus on writing it, and then one way ot the other, you will get it out there, ok?? :)

       

       

    • June 11, 2017 12:14 AM BST
    • Thanks so much for such a detailed and insightful answer! I feel much more informed now lol. 

      I can't imagine changing my book's subject of unrequited love only because it's almost like a memoir and a lot of the story is true so... Maybe it could go under Non-fiction instead? I do wish I could give the story a happier ending. Right now, it's more or less a bittersweet "I learned from this experience and don't regret meeting this person one bit." ending lol. Can't say I'm surprised that those sort of endings don't sell like the happy ones, though. This is actually another reason I like writing on wattpad despite wanting to be published. I'd like to know if people prefer the ending I have planned or if they'd rather me make up a happier ending. Of course, the story would only be half-true though. Funny enough, I wanted to make this into a Fantasy story, but people kept telling me it would mean so much more as a memoir/nonfiction and to tell it exactly as it happened. Such a difficult decision, really lol.

      I did figure looking on Google was a good idea, but my biggest fear is running into scams. I guess small publishers are better than not being published at all, though! I mean, I doubt I'd make it with anyone "big" since I'm still such a beginner writer lol.

      Thanks again for your help. I appreciate it so much!

    • June 10, 2017 7:46 AM BST
    • Hello there, no, not all e-books are self published. A vast number are published by actual publishers, alongside print editions, or by themselves. Lot's of smaller independent publishers only publish digitally nowadays, and even the "big" traditional publishers add digital editions to their print editions. Sometimes a paper edition may be added to a digital edition if the sales are good enough. It varies from publisher to publisher really, as do royalties and contracts etc... Royalties for digital editions are often higher than for print editions (because the overhead costs are lower).

      Many publishers are squeamish about taking on books that are already self-published (there are exceptions). That is why I recommend leaving self-publishing as the last option (although I have absolutely nothing against selfpublishing, I selfpublished a couple of things myself, after my publisher was not interested in them :-)  )

      Romance is a tremendously formulaic genre (I should know, shigh), and both publishers and readers and very specific about getting the HEA (Happy Ever After) orat least a HFN (Happy For Now) ending. It is almost impossible to get even an open ending accepted. If the book is very good it might be accepted with an open ending, but most likely they will ask you to change it during editing (the first experience of working with a professional editor can be a bit of a shock... but a good editor is worth his/her weight in gold, so it's worth listening to what they say before storming out, lol).

      If this is ok with you, you might as well save yourself lots of trouble and change the story before submitting. If you want to leave it as unrequitted love I don't recomend pitching it as Romance, but rather as Sci/fi, Fantasy, or whatever other genre is pertinent to the story and world-building.

      As for LGBT Romance, most Romance publishers handle that too nowadays (it would be rude non to, lol) but again, it's ALWAYS good to check on their submission guidelines before sending a query.

      Finally, many publishers (all the big traditional publishers for sure) only accept agented submissions. I have seen writers growing old in the quest for an agent. I'd say don't bother. Try the route of small indie publishers first, many take unagented submissions.

      Finding publishers.... Google is always a good start to find anything, other than that I recommend signing up to a writing forum and see what people who write in the same genre as you have to say. There are many lists of publishers (sorted by genre and more or less up to date) floating around on the internet, and word of mouth still works, even in these grim modern days. ;-). I really recommend the writers' forums because you can pick up lots of up-to-date information quite organically, so to say, and also (if you are lucky) find beta-readers for your work etc (which also helps), get feed back on snippets of your writing etc.

      If all else fails you can STLL selfpublish. Many review sites will not touch self-published books (for good reasons, sadly), so it is an uphill struggle to get the book sold. But to be honest book sales are pretty low anyway unless you are very good, very productive or just very lucky, so the whole economical aspect is probably moot anyway. Selfpublishing is lots of work and also lots of fun. Digital selfpublishing will probably not cost you a fortune (the publishing as such, on Kindle or Smashwords, is free, but you might want to spend something on editing and cover etc... or not, it's up to you). Print will certainly be expensive, except for print on demand books.

       

      Ok, these are all the wise thoughts that come to me right now. Maybe more wisdom will rise to my brain after coffee and a pooch walk :)

       

    • June 10, 2017 1:26 AM BST
    • Actually, that sounds even better lol. More likely do get that done, anyway and stick to it.

      I know pretty much nothing about e-books. I actually thought that was another self-publishing route? My biggest problem is finding publishers I'd say just because I know so little about them and don't have any experience yet. I do have a wattpad and I get information on there and another site called Writer's Digest. It's a little frustrating because I keep wanting to share my work on wattpad, but I'm told stories (mainly short stories) won't be published if they are up on wattpad already. This makes sense, I mean, who would pay for a book they can read for free, but still, I like to post on there to get tips on how to improve. On Writer's Digest, I've heard Writer's Market is a good place to find publishers. If you know of them, do you know if that would include e-books? I would love it if I could actually find someone who'd take my story despite it being a Novella, but I will self-publish if I have to in the end. Y'know, I keep calling my Novella a Romance, but does it still fall under that genre if it's about unrequited love? I wasn't 100% sure. It's also LGBT, but not sure if that's a genre or sub-genre.

    • June 9, 2017 11:30 AM BST
    • Keep it small. 300, 500 words per day. Does not matter. Just stick to it :)

       

      PS Generally speaking it is true that it's almost only novels that get printed, but digital publishing has opened the doors to a lot of shorter works. Novellas are frequently published as e-books, and even short stories. Short stories are also commonly published in anthologies, magazine, e-zines etc. It depends on the genre of course. Before embarking into a whole novel, do some specific research for publishers in your chosen genre. Check on their submission guidelines and see what they are looking for. It might well be that they accept shorter stories too. Are you part of any dedicated writers' forums? They can be full of unbearably pretentious arse**les, but it is a useful experience. I used to be on a forum called Litopia years ago (I don't really recommend it, but there plenty more groups out there). I eventually left in disgust, but I did learn a lot about the publishing business (actually it's also where I found my publisher). Give it a go. :)

    • June 9, 2017 5:56 AM BST
    • Katia, honestly, I have been thinking about doing something like that for a while but never got around to it (oops lol). Thing is though, I'm hearing that my stories that are turning out to be Novellas are going to probably have to be self-published just because they are Novellas and so hard to get  traditionally published! I always get stuck writing these and don't quite make it to Novel length so I'm thinking if I do that exercise of writing a certain amount a day, I can get better at writing more words and longer books. Definitely going to aim for about 1k because I doubt I'd be able to do much more each day, but maybe on a good day lol. I was also told at first that starting with Poetry and Short Stories was a good idea, but now I'm hearing if my goal is to write Novels, just stick to Novels because of how different the publication process is for Short Stories and Poems vs a Novel. Overall, just sounds like I'm going to need to write more so you have a great plan, there. Thanks for the tip! 

    • June 8, 2017 8:50 PM BST
    • There are as many school of thought in writing as there are writers. Not all of us are meant to write in haikus. For some of us the muse speaks in pindaric odes. Oh well. It's all fashion in the end. Pindaric odes will come back again. Probably after I'm dead, lol.

      :)

      Peace.

    • June 8, 2017 6:24 PM BST
    • The idea of Intensive writing is to cram the most meaning into the fewest words without waffle or procrastinating.   My Junior School, was where it was first introduced in the 60's bit before my time, but there is a plaque in the school remembering the teacher who first thought up the idea, think it was either Mary Langdon or Margaret Langdon and she had several books published.

    • June 8, 2017 5:56 PM BST
    • Kris, regarding procrastination, just in writing, not in other fields of life, do you set yourself a certain word-count goal daily? I find that a small daily goal helps me a lot. I don't think it should be very high (I have "colleagues" who boast to be able to write 7 or 8k words in an afternoon day in day out... but truth be told, unless you are VERY good, cranking words out regardless means you tend to say the same things over and over again). Personally, even when a story is coming along nicely, I never aim to write more than 1k words per day (although sometimes I do.. and sometimes I write less, I am rather slow, but I usually don't need to do a lot of rewriting after the first draft is done), but having that tiny deadline set for myself helps me to **focus** and **actually sit down and write**, which otherwise I might never get round to.

      Just a thought.

      I occasionally try to apply the same principle to ther aspects of life, but usually I am not not very successful, lol.

    • June 8, 2017 5:01 PM BST
    • The challenge will be trying to make it rythmically flow!  Fingers crossed...gonna sit on it for a few days and let "inspiration" sink in, or at lease let it play in my head in various tempos...it's tough when  they are not your own words. At least we seem to be on the same page as to where the words come from...(smile)

      Traci xoxo

    • June 7, 2017 2:20 AM BST
    • Haha, if there are tips on getting rid of procrastination, I'm all for checking it out! I find I work my best when I have a deadline because if I don't have one, nothing will get done lol. 

      I'm not overly surprised happiness and joyful sounds/music doesn't go with the song considering the characters and situation although it would have been interesting to hear a happy version while knowing what I wrote it about lol. Bluesy definitely sounds like it'd fit nicely and I can't wait to hear what you come up with. =)

    • June 6, 2017 11:12 PM BST
    • LOL on procrastination...actually, I think Crissie started a thread on procrastination in this site years back...hopefully she can find the link!!! (smile)

      I'm pretty much with you on going "dark"...no matter how many times I read the poem and then try to come up with a Vance Joy "riptide" type of song, it just doesn't "connect" with me.  I tried it a few times and ...nothing!  Then out of a whim, I went "dark", almost bluesey in an E minor key and it opened up doors...I'm now playing with "capo'ing" on different frets to try to get into my pitch and range vocally...but as of right now, I have something to work with! (smile)  

      Traci xoxo

    • June 6, 2017 8:31 PM BST
    • Traci, I'd say it should be a bit on the darker side just because of how everything has turned out and what/who it's based on. I say this because maybe once I finally share my Short Story, Obsession, I can point people in the direction of this and a few other poems that are about the two main characters. I also wish there were more hours in the day... I can be such a procrastinator and I need to kick that habit! Lol. 

    • June 6, 2017 5:16 PM BST
    • Katia...you're white!  That kinda explains the dancing thingie!  LOL

      Crissie...I agree with you...thankfully I outgrew the "slut" part!  LOL  But the lust for life has only gotten better running on estrogen for almost 8 years now...everything is so much "clearer" and all of the prior angst, anxiety, aggression, etc. has evaporated replaced by a renewed vitality and vigor.  I wish each day were 28 hours long just so I could do everything! (smile)

      Traci xoxo

       

    • June 6, 2017 4:36 PM BST
    • I think its a positive lust for life, not to be confused with the anagram slut....at least not for ones entire life, lol

    • June 6, 2017 4:16 PM BST
    • I fear my dancing career will have to wait until I can go to Antarctica and migrate with the penguins... then I will definitley blend in :)

      I am absolutely convinced that most (all?) people out there have a pinch of the opposite gender embedded in their soul, but artists are far more likely to let it out... we have the irresisitble urge to express all that is inside us, while most "ordinary" people just get on with their day... :)

    • June 6, 2017 2:07 PM BST
    • LOL Katia...do not ever underestimate the ability to dance with two left feet!  (grin)  And you do understand how difficult it is to carry anything in a bucket, let alone an elusive tune that tries at every opportunitiy to escape from that bucket! (smile)

      As for the dancing, I suggest you go to a club where all the patrons have taken in a bit too much alcohol to where their dancing ability is quite impaired!  Then, when you get out on the floor, you can do anything you wish and look no worse than anyone else! LOL

      I feel truly blessed to be able to express myself thru music...I know it is a gift and I never take it lightly! (smile)  There is nothing I'd rather do than to be able to sit down on a beautiful day and play for hours...I understand where all the song birds are coming from as they chirp and sing all day long!  

      There have been numerous people in this site who are very talented in music.  Our own Lucy Diamond, a UK girl, plays keyboards in a very good band and does an awesome job!  Maybe there's a connection between our gender thing and creativity/arts???  

      Traci xoxo

    • June 6, 2017 1:46 PM BST
    • Kris...Two ways to takes this musically, at least in my brain.  One is the use of "dark" minor chords which cry out from the hurt of not being able to connect with one's love...the other is using bright, "cheerful" major chords celebrating one's love for another!  

      Any feelings on how you'd prefer to interpret it?

      Traci xoxo

    • June 6, 2017 10:32 AM BST
    • Traci, I am in awe of what you can do, I am endowed with many artistic talents, but music was left out of me by my maker! I can't live without it, but I can't carry a tune in a bucket. Even dancing... well, my knees want to dance, by my head is not following. Very frustrating.

    • June 6, 2017 4:48 AM BST
    • Traci, no rush at all on adding music to it. I'm just glad to hear you liked it. Yeah, it's funny to know exactly what I was saying with the poem, but I just wasn't crystal clear with the words lol. I guess it works out like you said. I think you described the person who's supposed to be singing it quite well, though!

       

      Crissie, It sounds like a great read!

    • June 6, 2017 12:51 AM BST
    • Crissie...I wish I could have known you when I was young and doing pretty crazy things!  Living in or around NYC as a part time Tgirl in the late 60s-early 70s in my late teens and early 20s was...ahhh...ummm....fun!  *giggles*  I know we'd have hit it off for I was pretty back then!  LOL

      xoxo

    • June 5, 2017 9:28 PM BST
    • I only posted the first part of my attempt to write a book in this forum, other parts were added to the full memers forum, I did'nt want people outside GS to have access to it.   Later it will get amusing, astounding, shocking for some, with a few wows and quite a few yuk's.

    • June 5, 2017 9:15 PM BST
    • Kris...I'm only at a point where I'm trying to juggle to words into a sort of rythmic flow bypassing your intent/theme for the moment...I definitley picked up your message of an undying love regardless of the world or circumstances around these two people.  For one, it knows no limits to what this person will do for the love.  For the other, perhaps this person feels "unworthy" of receiving love or maybe just does not understand what love means?  Maybe this person has been hurt before and rejects anyone getting close?  You haven't given much of a hint as to why "these words cut like a knife", but that allows the viewer to interject their own ideas as to why it is so, thus a mystery unsolved! Was it a former lover, something from their past?  Is it a family issue or a bad parent? Is it a physical problem or handicap that lessens the self esteem?  So much to run with...(smile)

       

      That said, there's no shortage of catchy songs that leave interpretation wide open to the listener!  In fact, people have spent decades and decades debating the meaning of the artist with no real solution ever finalized!  Perfect!!!!!

       

      Traci xoxo

    • June 5, 2017 3:43 AM BST
    • Traci, you're very welcome! That sounds very peaceful. It's been raining on and off here so I haven't been outside much, but the temperature has been pretty nice the times I did make it outside lol. I'm glad to hear you learned some Chris Cornell with my poem at least lol. It is difficult to get feelings across to others in all writing I'm finding out as I write more and more. I really want my Short Story to be emotional so I need to master this skill the best I can before publishing. I know songs can make different people feel different ways, but when writing this I was trying to get across the feeling of unconditional love even if it has to be a friendship. (Turned out to be unrequited love which is also what my Short Story is about a bit). I appreciate the work you've put into it so far so thanks again!

    • June 5, 2017 2:40 AM BST
    • Kris...thnx for your permission...

      After I posted, I spent three hours outside on our deck in a delightful breeze under the canopy of a large shade tree playing my guitar...I fumbled and stumbled and ended up learning some of the late Chris Cornell stuff with Audioslave in lieu of tackling your poem.  I get so easily distracted!  LOL

      I will get there but it has to come with some internal inspiration for me to get on a roll...(smile)  It can be difficult to juggle another's feeling with mine, but I look forward to the challenge! (smile)

       

      Traci xoxo

       

    • June 5, 2017 1:39 AM BST
    • Traci, I'm so happy to hear you loved it! I'm sure I'll be impressed with any music you could make go with it. I could never do it, personally lol. I like the idea of what you have so far and don't mind you adding/deleting words. I figure for it to be a song some of the words probably don't fit/work heh. Thanks so much for the compliment and again, I'm so glad you like it. Also, thanks for taking the time to add music to it!

    • June 4, 2017 11:51 PM BST
    • OMG!!!!!!!  I LOVE it!!!  I hope I can do this justice....(smile)  

      I think I'll use the following "verse" as the reoccuring "chorus" and if it's OK with you, add/delete words in parenthesis for rythmic liberty for myself...the chorus pieces will be inserted between verses and probably alone at the end...

      "Your night is every night.
      Hold my friendship and love tight 
      and(let you and me)  take flight.
      (For)I will always be here for you... every single night.
      Because your night Is every night.
      Because your night Is every night."

       

      Let me know what you think...I think it's beautiful!!!

       

      Traci xoxo

       

       

    • June 4, 2017 3:24 AM BST
    • That was very well written, Christine! Makes me want to get back to my Short Story... I got cold feet after I received a comment about my dad lol. "WTF kind of dad is this?!" I suspect I'll get a lot of comments like that so I might as well just get used to it. Definitely interested in more of your story!

       

      Traci, I'll post my poem as I love sharing them, but if it doesn't go with music well it's not a big deal lol. I am actually hoping that a couple of my poems I can turn publish-worthy because I've been told a lot of authors start out sending Poems and Short Stories to Magazines. *Crossing my fingers lol*

       

      Title: Your Night is Every Night

       

       

      Although it is your birthday,

       

      I've just got to say,

       

      Your night is not just tonight,

       

      It's every night.

       

      Every single day

       

      I pray.

       

      I thank God for the joy and love in my life.

       

      But saying these words to you cuts like a knife.

       

      Because you don't know.

       

      You have sorrow.

       

      Your birthday is a day everyone celebrates you being born.

       

      But I must warn,

       

      What I'm about to say may make you confused.

       

      Don't feel you have to choose.

       

      What do I have to say?

       

      Your night is every night.

       

      Your arms embraced around me tight,

       

      It feels right.

       

      Your night is celebrated and recognized by me every night.

       

       

       

       

      Now blow out the candle light,

       

      Stay in sight.

       

      Have no fright.

       

      I will always be here.

       

      I know your birthday is special.

       

      Even though at times you are skeptical.

       

      You ask yourself,

       

      What is my purpose in the world?

       

      I ask the same thing of myself.

       

      I've found one answer that's unfurled.

       

      We show the world what love is.

       

      Whether it's friendship or romance,

       

      I'll always be in this trance.

       

      I want you to take my feelings in sight

       

      With all your might.

       

      I want you to know that every night,

       

      Is your night.

       

       

       

       

      Your night is every night.

       

      Hold my friendship and love tight

       

      And take flight.

       

      I will always be here for you.

       

      Every single night.

       

      Because your night,

       

      Is every night.

    • June 4, 2017 12:41 AM BST
    • Crissie...part two please!  (smile)

      xoxo

    • June 4, 2017 12:39 AM BST
    • Kris...

      Perhaps I could take a stab at your HS poem and set it to music?  Not sure how I could get it to you when done, but if you're OK with it, I'd like to try! (smile)

      Traci xoxo

    • June 3, 2017 5:22 PM BST
    • I started to write a book about my life, the trials and tribulations of being mis-gendered

       

      Fridays child fair of face.

      Born 1120 am Friday 19 August 1983, Star sign Leo, born in the Chinese year of the Pig. The band and song in vogue that day, was the Police, with Every Breath you Take, rather apt.

      Oblivious of current trends at the time and unaware of what life had in store for me, I probably gurgled and cried my way through the next couple of years. Most of my memories of the first few years , are from photographs, I saw later in my life, not from actual memories of events. apparently my first word was dadda. On reflection I was being groomed from an early age to fulfil his hopes and dreams of glory, aspirations he was unable to attain for himself, a surrogate, improved version, of a man I would come to hate and revile. I think I was about 4 my first real memories, of being marched up and down the living room, with a toy rifle, presenting arms and saluting. when other boys were running around in their gardens with friends, shouting out bang, bang and playing at being soldiers or cowboys giggling and laughing, while I was being derided, bullied, crying for getting it wrong. also my first memories of my sister 2 years older than me, dressing me up in her clothes, both my mother and father from what I remember were more amused rather than showing any real consternation.

      It is hard to put exact time tags on events at such a young age, but I must have been about to start school, I had longish blonde hair somewhat curly, it was always too much trouble for my mother to take me to get my hair cut, because I would scream, wriggle and kick out. THAT day my father held me down by the neck with one hand and chopped and hacked at my hair with a pair of scissors with the other hand, that should have been an inkling as to what was to happen over the next few years.

      I never played with dolls, I was'nt of a feminine inclination. although always frightened of failure I enjoyed target practice, dressed in my little soldiers uniform and air rifle. being taken to the local clay pigeon shoot when I was about 7 or 8, the dressing up sessions with my sister continued, she would squeeze into my shorts and school jumper and I would dress in her pants and dresses, because of the perceived pressures of conforming to the ideology of a Rambo persona from my father, these little sessions were conducted when he was at work. they made me feel comfortable, I never had any sexual feelings, never knew what a transvestite was, Our little sessions were fun, innocent fun.


      to be continued..........................

    • June 2, 2017 8:56 PM BST
    • Hello Traci, thank you so much for your kind words. I really needed to hear them as I was recently having some doubts on writing my latest Short Story. It started out as a memoir and I'm going to be discussing things that happened in my childhood that will probably give my father a bad image... I almost don't want to write it because of this since he's gotten better over the years, but ultimately, I feel like the story just has to be told, especially if it will help even just one other individual who suffers from BDD or Gender Identity. I'm glad to hear you like my poem so thanks! I think it's awesome that you work with melodies. I wrote a poem back in High School that I wanted to make a song out of, but I just couldn't get enough interest in guitar and making music. I've always just been more into writing and story-telling, I guess lol. To be able to work with melodies I imagine you are extremely talented as well.

      Best wishes to you too! 

    • June 2, 2017 8:11 PM BST
    • I really like your poem!!! (smile)

      I am not a writer, but rather something of a musician whose "skill" resides not so much in the lyrics/singing, but rather interpreting the written words and finding the "proper" melodies for them. I read into the themes for moods, expressions, scenery, etc. and then can put together chord progressions, tempo and timing, and all to enhance that what was written. In lieu of being creative with lyrics, I kinda have a bank of my own tunes made for certain moods that I often play on my deck on a nice day when I feel like expressing myself and/or releasing energies, tension, or even pure joy.

      I believe those that can express their feelings thru the written word are truly gifted and has always been something I've admired! Keep doing what you believe in for there are no limits to how fulfilling this can be to yourself and for others to gain from reading what you write!

      Best wishes always...

      Traci xoxo

    • June 2, 2017 6:35 PM BST
    • Thanks for the compliment lol. I do a lot better online than when I'm talking with someone face to face, but I'd say I've come a long way with age. Lol, I used to stare at the ground during an entire conversation, but I can make eye contact quite a bit better now.

      That's very helpful to know! I wish I was better at sports, but really the only thing I'm good at is running. Still a sport at least lol. We used to have to run eleven miles in cross country practice. I ran fine but didn't stay in cross because of being so... Well, anti-social and I didn't like having people watch me run. I still love to do it, though. It's actually one of the ways I think of new story ideas haha. xD 

      That's a good idea for an exercise, thanks! Every little bit of writing and reading helps at this point lol. I did have to write notes and people watch for one of my college classes, but I never really wrote about the scenes. Will definitely try that idea out!

    • June 2, 2017 6:27 AM BST
    • Hola! Don't worry too much about your disorder, from what little I know of it, it seems to me that you are coping very well ;)

      As for the 5'2'' issue... you know, one of the malest men I ever known was called Fabio and was my riding instructor when I was 20. He was a former professional jokey and he was hald a head shorter than me (an achievement, for anyone not a hobbit). He was not muscular either (although he had enough sinew to equip 3 average sized males). But for all that, boy oh boy, that guy HAD IT, if you get my drift, lol. Just because you are small, it's not as if there is less of you. It just gets more concentrated ;)

      Perhaps the best exercise I can suggest if you want to work on your scenery skills is to make a habit of describing in written word places you visit. Have you ever written in cafes, malls, parks etc? Perhaps you should try. Sit writing somewhere new and make a point of observing and writing a paragraph or two about it. It's a bit like sketching from life, a very different process from drawing things from your own fantasy. Just an idea ;)

    • June 1, 2017 12:31 AM BST
    • Hello again Katia, that's actually pretty cool you have the opposite problem in my opinion haha. I do wonder/hope I can get away with minimal scenery because I do have fleshed out characters, but for the most part, that is a critique I get. "There's no setting in this story!" I've heard a few times lol. I think the reason I have trouble describing scenery is because of my Asperger's. (I hate to always blame my disorder) but I'm just always in my own world and not paying attention to the real world around me enough to be able to describe it in good detail lol. I've been told I can use this to my advantage by having my character's with Asperger's giving little description because it's credible to their character, but this only helps with those particular characters. I just finished reading a book called The Outsiders and the author brought their setting to life so well! It definitely felt like an actual place so I'm hoping a little bit of that talent rubbed off on me from reading it lol. I had to work way too hard with animating so I know what you mean lol. I mean, if I was still working on that, I probably wouldn't have a series out until I was fifty. Although writing is proving to be challenging in its own ways, I'd say it's a much better fit for me than animation although I still love animated series and feel like my Hero the Cat Cop series really would do best as such. My hope is that maybe someday an animator will be inspired by my book and make it into an animated series. (Probably just a dream, though lol). 

      I wish I passed as a male easily heh. I mean, now that I've cut my hair it's a lot better, but I am still one of those people that need to take T shots, I think to actually pass. I have a feminine voice, too, and it tends to be a bit too quiet. I feel a bit better about being 5'2" now so thanks! For me, even though I never passed as a boy, I've always felt like I've been treated like one. For example - In school, I only had male bullies and my father always treated my as one of his "guy friends" unless of course, I was in trouble. Ugh, I just shared a chapter of my latest Short Story (needs editing) where the father character says something to his daughter about women sexually. The main character is based on me and my life so it's kind of like a memoir turned into a Short Story.

      Sorry to hear that. I didn't have to deal with Catholic beliefs, but my parents and I used to attend a Baptist church. We stopped going after my parents divorced, but my parents were still pretty strict when it came to LGBT.

    • June 6, 2017 10:49 AM BST
    • Hi all! Just a quick note to introduce myself, I am a somewhat gender-challenged girl (no thoughts of transitioning, I am a bit of a mess but I am used to it), and landed on this forum while looking for input for a partly autobiographical story... It seemed rude to lurk in the shadows though, with so much personal stuff being posted, so I signed up.

      The poem below (sorry it's a bit long, it's actually several separate fragments strung together), was part of a sci/fi story, and bits and pieces of it have been published here and there, but I don't think anyone has ever read the whole of it (not sure if anyone wants to, lol), so here it goes... hope you find some lines you like. :)


      A song for Laz’law


      Deeper and darker
      Ever deeper – ever darker
      Where the night gathers and wavers
      On the edge of my trembling eyelids
      There - chasing the sweetest/smoothest
      Curve of your body
      The most sacred
      The most precious
      There - a spark a shimmer a twinkle
      Firefly - fireworks - firewall
      All the scattering light of sunrise
      Smothered
      Upon your silent shadow


      Oh darkest angel
      God of the endless hour
      What surge in your savage blood
      What shudder in your dolphin back
      What wandering song in your rootless heart
      Made the night shimmer
      Silver bright - blinding
      Among the uneven stars?


      Do you remember
      When you strode out of the murmuring shadows
      Into the sun
      Of that disbelieving morning -

      Three and three hundred angels
      From the towering gates of eternal bliss
      Kneeled
      And paid homage - to the twin curve of your haunches

      Every bent bright head
      Burning
      With merciless desire

      Every pure heart - seared
      By the scorching black fire (dragon kiss)
      Of your glaring eyes


      These searing eyes – your eyes
      Of what black black stone
      Were they wrought?
      In what panther-marked silk
      Was your dark skin cut?
      The awful grace of your haunches
      In what blast-bright forge was it twisted?
      And the rising coil of your thighs
      On what mighty wheel was it thrown
      And from what wondrous clay?


      Yours is the first winter star
      In its dark mantle
      Yours is the wind in the shadow-trees
      And the voice of the rushing grasses
      Yours is the falling dusk - and the rising moon
      And yours is the moonlight
      On the rippling sands of Arnia
      And the starry splendor of the Milky Way
      As it bends its scattered brightness
      Over the desert dunes

      Yours is the great boundless sky above
      From star to countless star - forever

      As yours is my trembling heart
      My love – my love –


      Oh darkness upon darkness upon darkness
      Son of the ineffable obscurity
      Keeper of the thundering bells of nightfall
      On the pathless dunes of your spine
      My spellbound soul is lost – astray