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    • May 22, 2017 3:22 AM BST
    • In regard to the method of writing, i.e., writing an outline first or not, too complex for a first story, etc., in Diana Gabaldon' s The Outlandish Companion, she give an interesting look at how she wrote a very complex first story without using any sort of outline and got a great publishing deal right away. Her own story sort of goes against the grain of every bit of logic the self-help writing books provide.

    • January 6, 2017 8:30 PM GMT
    • I agree with Gerri. I've had to re-write my story so many times but it's well worth it in the end. (Or at least that's what I like to believe). Starting a creative writing class in about a week or two and am pretty excited for it but I anticipate having to re-write even more as the instructor will probably have a lot of pointers/advice for me as a beginner writer. I keep being told my idea is "too complex" for a first book (just a little update) so am writing something a little more simple for the time being until I'm a better writer. This also means I have to postpone my LGBT story because I want it to be my very best work... Trying to be patient lol.

    • January 6, 2017 12:20 PM GMT
    • All i can suggest is to key pushing the story forward...possibly outline it... and then rewrite, All authors rewrite.

      Gerri Kay 

    • January 6, 2017 9:04 AM GMT
    • Hi All

      I have always thought, that irrespective of  success with transition, the 'real elephant in the room' is a convincing 'back story' (for ourselves, and not to deceive/mislead others). Obviously it would be fantasy, but I would love to 'rewrite my autobiography'.  I have such a notion based on the 'lives of others', where I am a middle aged mom with two lovely twenty something daughters, and a caring husband.  However, you soon find your'other self' has had it tough!  As Pasty Kline sings, 'it's hard to be a woman'!  It's a starting point to help understand yourself!  Anyway it's a nice place to go, be it fiction or fantasy.  Our lives are never fully lived in real time, but rather the expectation of pleasant things to come!  It's great choosing names for everybody too!

      Food for thought


    • July 31, 2016 5:52 AM BST
    • Hey guys, I added a few sentences to the blurb in hopes that it would improve it and make the book sound more interesting. Does it work? Please let me know because I'm trying to get more reads and someone told me my blurb is too short/needs more info. 

      New Blurb: Family tradition has forced nineteen year old Emerald Gem into a career she never wanted - the police force. To complicate matters, her partner isn't the nicest of sorts - a talking, sexist cat. Can this unlikely pair solve their differences and work together like real partners, or will it always end in disaster when the two are put together? What happens when they meet a mysterious boy with a stutter who owns another talking cat? Will they be able to help bring justice to someone who has suffered a great family tragedy? With teamwork, perhaps they can.

    • July 28, 2016 4:32 AM BST
    • Actually, I probably should've said this story is rather large and has about five main characters so the Beauty and the Beast part is only for two of those characters. Mainly the cat (beast) is sexist and mean to the wrong woman and she turns him into a cat. What's kind of funny is I have a character in the story named Beauty, but she isn't the female officer. I didn't realize how similar the story was to Beauty and the Beast until after I named the characters lol. I actually made the characters and stoy-line when I was fifteen (25 now) and wanted to animate it into a cartoon series, but after I took a few animation classes, I realized I just didn't have the patience to animate and preferred character creation and story-telling so I turned my career to writing. This also meant I had to get more into reading so the past few years I have been reading more instead of just watching movies. I will definitely check out the books you mentioned. I'm still trying to find my writing style, but people have told me I'm blunt and I've heard I still tell instead of show so that is one thing I still need to work on the most. You are more than welcome to look at my wattpad, but in order to comment it, I believe you have to make an account. (It is free). If you do get around to looking over it, I'd just like to be sure I'm keeping it interesting and have proper grammar. I have been told I use too many exclamtion points, but I've been more careful of that lately. My beginner mistake was basically saying "he said" or she said" after every dialougue line not knowing that it was redundant and I am trying to swtich perspectives correctly. Making a story with five main characters is going to be tough I hear as far as switching perspective goes, but I'm willing to re-write as much as I need to lol.


      I never liked making outlines at first, but ever since I made one for my recent short story (I write short stories to practice perspective) I can't stop making them and made one for this story. I do agree that filling in gaps are hard and another thing I did was work so much on the "good guys" and their character development that I fear my villains are a little bland. I'm hoping I'm wrong and/or that having good "heroic" characters will make up for this. I really love your idea on making a story about a gender neutral character and would definitely read it. I don't know if you saw my post about an offensive character (you might have commented on it) but when I am a better writer, I definitely plan on making an LGBT story as well. The offensive character is an antagonist though, which I wasn't clear on at first when I posted. I really love making characters and story-lines based off things that I've gone through and it sounds like you do as well with the gender neutral character. I am sure I'll be interested in your second story as well in September so please keep me posted. =)


      I actually have a Short Story that I shared trying to bring awareness to a couple conditions as well if you'd like to check that out. It has a character with Asperger's. It's nowhere near as planned out as Hero is, but I just had to write it anyway.  As far as my transgender perspectives and experiences, you may have seen that I come from a christian family and have come out to my mom fully, but not my dad. I've felt like a male in a female's body for almost my whole life, but I didn't really know what it was until middle school. That's when it became an issue, really. As a child, I actually would play with a doll, but I HAD to be the father doll or a male doll like ken. When the PC game The Sims became a thing, it felt like a real life saver for me because I couldn't be a "real man" but at least I could be one in a life simulation game and even have a family. Kind of rambling now lol. That's just some of what has gone on, I have questioned being bigender because there was one guy I was willing to stay a girl for, but then he came out of the closet AND told me he wouldn't date a trans, only pure men. =/ Made me hate being a girl all the more honestly because I'd see him post how gross girls are and stuff. I know everyone has their preference and that's not really what bothered me, what bothered me was that I never felt like a girl in the first place so I was pretty much angry at life/God for quite a few years. I will more than likely make my LGBT story based on that experience to be honest. Sorry, I basically wrote a book here lol.

    • July 28, 2016 2:39 AM BST
    • Ah, Beauty and the Beast, huh? I like it! That’s such a classic tale with a very clear message. I used to read classic literature regularly a few years back when I was completing my writing program. I was inspired by Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein a lot even though I didn’t care for her writing style. She focused so much on the emotional content of the doctor and the creation which was wonderful, but just a little overwhelming and repetitive. My favorite stories were Sherlock and Monte Cristo though. I could talk about why forever. The content is great. Anyway, so can I access your Wattpad content freely without any trouble? I’d love to give any helpful criticism if I can! Anything you’d like me to pay any particularly attention at would seriously help me look out for anything that could be enhanced. Plus, explaining the beginner mistakes you referred to might be helpful too, but only if you wish as they might not be relevant if they were minor enough to be fixed without a hitch. When I was studying novel writing, there were two basically important concepts to keep in mind about writing and linking chapters. The first was to keep the story moving and interesting while, secondly, continually introducing new aspects of character development to prevent from creating one-dimensional characters. Jumping around in terms of the chronology of a story can be confusing too unless it is part of your writing style or if the flashbacks are clear enough. Tarantino often developed his stories in this way, and they were usually very successful.


       I always had trouble writing a chapter plan or summary for a book because although I had a lot of ideas for story events or chapters, I couldn’t fill in certain gaps to bring one part of my story(ies) to the next. I was trying to practice this because I thought it could help me organize my thoughts. (but I had a detour and ended up in college for music; long story) I knew that I had a few good stories in my head, but I needed to develop a method for identifying the big idea chunks in a sequence so that I could break them down into smaller chunks like sentences, paragraphs, and chapters which is what I’m really good at! I excelled at taking small ideas and blowing them up into massive narratives or descriptive pieces especially if they were about things that I knew about. For example, I wanted to write a story about a character who was neutral in gender because I felt that I have lived through that (before identifying as transgender) and had so many personal experiences and references that I could use to expand upon the world in which that type of character lived, what they thought about him/herself, how he/she was treated differently by the public, and just generally how awkward of a position it is to live like that. The idea has developed into something else entirely, but because I’ve been in school, I haven’t had a chance to do anything with it yet. However, it spawned a second story concept that I am going to try to develop once I move from here in September.



      I’ve also been curious to know a little bit more about your transgender perspectives and experiences. I read a few of your posts over time and have essentially concluded that we are both in disharmony in regard to our biologies. If I am intruding upon your privacy by opening this line of conversation, I apologize and will not badger you any further. No harm done, right? So, I hope to hear from you again soon! *hugs*




    • July 27, 2016 5:08 AM BST
    • Hey Dana! Thanks much for the compliment! I am happy to hear you think my story idea is unique. I always like to describe it as a Beauty and the Beast tale with a few twists lol. Cats are definitely awesome and yours sound wonderful. I have one that currently needs to go on a diet after being so spoiled haha. As far as my story goes, this is my second attempt at writing it fully because my first try I made several beginner mistakes. I'm not sure how soon I'll be ready to publish (probably a bit far away still) but I do know I'm in desparate need of constructive criticism. My wattpad is on my profile and I'd definitely be open to helping each other out on our stories. I am very much a beginner at this, but I am enjoying it thus far. Thanks again for the offer and it's nice to meet another writer on here. =)


    • July 27, 2016 1:47 AM BST
    • Hey Kris! I liked the creativity involved your idea for a unique story with some symbolism related to your own life's experiences. I also am a cat lover too with three kiddies, one of which is relatively wild but is so sweet when I come to her. I was wondering how far you got with your story and if you had either finished it already or have gone through with getting it published. After September, I am going to begin writing a script for a novel/series and try to create a franchise. Maybe we can establish a dialouge and trade some ideas. I am a wonderful writer, editor, and proofreader having obtaining a minor degree in freelance writing. Either way, I hope all is coming along well. Dana!!

    • July 13, 2016 12:57 AM BST
    • Lovely GG Lisa - Didn't see a reply option on the photo so I'm replying here lol. Thanks much for the compliment on my photo! I'm definitely glad to hear it's an improvement compared to my last one.

    • July 12, 2016 1:51 AM BST
    • Lovely GG Lisa - Glad to hear you like the sound of the blurb as well, Lisa. =) Thanks much for wishing me luck. Will need it as it is really competitive out there lol.

    • July 11, 2016 6:12 PM BST
    • I agree with Gerri, the blurb sounds interesting...and fun! Good luck, Kris!

    • July 6, 2016 1:36 AM BST
    • Gerri Kay - That does make sense since this will just be my first book I highly doubt I could get a traditional publisher, but was thinking it was worth trying. I will definitely check out CreateSpace. Thanks so much for the recommendation. I'm sure it will be very helpful. 

    • July 6, 2016 12:56 AM BST
    • Chances of getting picked up by a traditional publisher are basically nil. Self publishing is basically how most people get started in the business. If you pursue this route when you are done with your story, try Amazon's CreateSpace. They did my last book and were by far the best company I have used. Goggle CreateSpace and you can get the info.

      Hope this is helpful.

      Gerri Kay

    • July 5, 2016 11:41 PM BST
    • Gerri Kay- I'm glad to hear you think it sounds interesting so thanks! =) That's awesome that you've published four books! I wanted to try to get professionally published, but I know that's really hard to do so if I end up self-publishing I'll definitely let you know. Only have a couple chapters done so far, but this is my second time writing it because I made some beginner mistakes on the first draft. I can definitely tell that getting published is tough so I won't be surprised if I need to self-publish.

    • July 5, 2016 1:37 PM BST
    • Story sounds interesting...go for it. I have published four books, so I can recommend self-publisher if you need it.

      Good Luck 

      Gerri Kay

    • July 5, 2016 1:42 AM BST
    • I'm currently working on my first book on wattpad and am hoping it can and will be published one day. I've mentioned on here before that I'll be writing an LGBT story, but this one isn't it. I want the LGBT story to be the best it can be so I'm not quite ready for that I'm afraid. I did want to share my first story's plot and see what people think of it. If there are any anime/manga lovers out there, this particular story is based on a few of those. (It is a novel though).

      Title: Hero the Cat Cop

      Blurb: Family tradition has forced nineteen year old Emerald Gem into a career she never wanted - the police force. To complicate matters, her partner isn't the nicest of sorts - a talking, sexist cat. Can this unlikely pair solve their differences and work together like real partners, or will it always end in disaster when the two are put together?


      I wanted to share this here also because, like the LGBT story, it hits close to home with me in a lot of ways. I've grown up with a lot of sexist/misoginistic views that I've had to overcome. I've even had some people tell me I'm a transman because I've been taught being a girl is bad... 

      Anyway, I hope you like the idea of this story. Any feedback is greatly appreciated. :)

    • April 21, 2017 3:38 AM BST
    • Hi, I would just like to offer some information about Amazon Kindle publishing where I perceive a need in the previous posts, but forgive me if it's already understood. See

      On Amazon, it isn't necessary to use your birth name as the author of a book. It is true that you must register your legal name with Amazon for legal purposes, such as getting paid and paying taxes, but Amazon allows pen names in their Kindle (KDP) page as the author of a book and it all gets linked together. Amazon also has an optional feature called Author Central where the pen name can be described, etc,; however, Author Central tends to get rather confusing, especially the first time you use it, as well as all further attempts. I have bungled my way through Amazon KDP and Author Central with two different pen names for two different genres, so it does work after a lot of hair pulling and unladylike cursing.

      The monetary income does suck. As they say, don't quit your day job unless you're retired. Maybe a massive advertising campaign would help; I don't know. In lieu of a large remuneration, writing has other benefits: (1) enjoyable; (2) cathartic; (3) the thrill of someone reading your book; (4) the bigger thrill of an unsolicited positive review. 

    • January 14, 2017 5:28 AM GMT
    • I had 4 novels for young adults published under my birth name and gender. I also did some freelance articles for a while. The pay ended up sucking for the amount of time I had to put into it.


      Thanks for the best wishes. I really appreciate it 

    • January 13, 2017 7:11 PM GMT
    • Hey Cynthia - I can relate to many of your writing thoughts - it has always been a sideline hobby of mine. Fiction when I was younger and still only dabble in it for my personal thoughts, but I have turned strongly to non-fiction and even have a few books in at Amazon ( unfortunately due to circumstances they have to 'man up' and be authored as my birth name and hence gender ). When I first went to print a hard copy of my first book, I put on my favorite outfit - I was as happy and proud as I ever could be - seretly I even have ideas for a great photo shoot for the books. Interestingly I too have found some creative juices once again in the area of fiction and have some ideas moving through my mind space along with other non-fiction ones. It is very true that it sort of comes in waves - once focused I can be at projects for quite a spell. All the best in your stories and writing - enjoy the adventure. : )

    • January 13, 2017 3:05 PM GMT
    • I used to write ficiton, more than a decade ago. I did enjoy it but got out of because I lost my creativity, or so I felt. It was more than just writer's block. I just couldn't seem to come up with fun and interesting stories any longer. Everything just seemed so bland. After a time I did start writing again, non-fiction though, on computer programming. That went well for several years but then life became too busy to keep up with it and it fell by the road side.


      I started the non-fiction again back last summer but with my wife's condition and her need constant care I had to put that on hold. One thing that my wife always wanted to see me do is get back into fiction, she really loved my work. I don't know what has caused it but my creative juices have started to work again. So, in her memory, I've started on a new novel! It is a high fantasy style novel similar to Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones, those styles of books with world in danger, epic battles, etc. It's only been a few weeks and I'm not far in but the words are actually coming out and I really like that they flow again. Right now the biggest issue I face is the internet distracts me too much. :D

    • January 16, 2017 8:56 AM GMT
    • Hello, I am Daisy Simpson, a university professor,and I like to believe that I'm a very good professional freelance writer.I dedicated my life to writing and charity.Now I work as editor at dissertation writing services.

    • July 11, 2016 10:59 PM BST
    • She rises every day to greet me.
      She shines her light upon my feet.
      She guides the path that lies beneath me.
      She starts the day with her eyes on me
      She has brightened up my world,
      I’m enlightened by this girl.

      As sure as the sun shines,
      I can’t get you out of my mind.
      Unfading love and light
      I’d be nothing without you in my life.

      Her hair it falls in golden rays
      Her stare, like fire, sets me ablaze.
      Her smile it warms me on a cloudy day.
      Girl, shine your light and won’t you shine my way.

      You have brightened up my world.
      I’m enlightened by you, girl.


      As sure as the sun shines,
      I can’t get you out of my mind.
      Unfading love and light
      I’d be nothing without you in my life.

      And at night, comes the moon,
      How it reminds me with reflections of you
      Of all the stars in my view
      The closest one I keep is you
      There in all the dark hours I sleep through
      While I dream of awaking to you.

      As sure as the sun shines,
      I can’t get you out of my mind.
      Unfading love and light
      I’d be nothing without you in my life.


    • July 10, 2016 6:05 PM BST
    • Today things are gonna change. No more drugs nightmares and being deranged.
      Ima fly this plane pass table spoons crack pipes and loose change. Ima buy a pair of nikes and rock a nice chain.
      Shooting stars spl;itting and intertwining and rainbow trains.
      my imagination is strange. I'm a dead beat but I got a good brain.
      I'm not a rapper i'm a poet, I really wanna show it. Take the cap off these lyrics and just ******* blow it.
      I'm gonna creep and crawl into your dreams, filled with broken glass fear and chlorine. Broken Mirrors Shallow hearts and steal beams, i'm a ghosto n the inside, know what I mean?
      As a child I was neglected in school and i was afflicted but music and games got me through it this is my song i'm here to spew it
      never to late to change and mend my broken relationships. please forgive me for being a paranoid schizophnirec.
      I have the will of a champion and I damned well mean it, this is a part of my life I hope you enjoyed reading it.

    • May 24, 2016 5:50 PM BST
    • You're welcome! Glad to help out when I can. I may not know what it's like to be transgender/bigender, but I've been around the block and have seen/read a lot of informative things over the years. Have a great day as well!

    • May 24, 2016 5:48 PM BST
    • You're welcome! Have a great day as well!

    • May 24, 2016 5:26 PM BST
    • Hey Lisa, thanks so much for the links! I will definitely check them out. I do suspect I'll be one of those people who doesn't figure themselves out until about 30 or so lol. There was a time I thought I had split personality before I heard of bigender and bigender would explain things, but really as far as feeling like a girl... It's only .1% of the time so it feels like it might as well not be there at all. Still, it's a scary thought transitioning then regretting it later. Thanks again for the links and I hope you are having a great day. =)

    • May 24, 2016 5:17 PM BST
    • Had to fix these links because I'm on my mobile phone, and the links added that stupid "m" at the front of the websites! Ugh!

    • May 24, 2016 5:13 PM BST
    • Only you can figure out what/who you are. Try to envision yourself in a bubble where there are no societal rules, no religion, no family pressures, and not thinking about your past, present, or future love's just you! How do you feel? Transgender? Bigender? Still confused? It's okay to not know who you are too...that takes time, and you might not truly figure it out until you're in your 30s or 40s!

      Here's some interesting things I found. It's because your situation made me think of an episode of True Life I saw a few years ago, about a MtF wanting to transition back to M because it was easier to be a gay man and have an active dating life...but mostly you reminded me of the FtM who wanted to transition back to F...I'm not sure if she felt pressure from her unaccepting father OR if she was actually bigender...I hope it was the latter, because you never want to give in to pressure.

      The MTV episode I saw a few years ago (you may be able to watch it!)

      Someone's review of the episode (they mention that her grandfather gave her great advice and said he accepted her whether she was a boy or girl! So sweet!)

      More comments about the show:

      Interesting reddit thread started by a FtMtF, she gets asked questions and answers them (maybe it will help you in your quest...)

    • May 24, 2016 2:34 PM BST
    • Thought I'd share a poem I wrote about myself and an old friend of mine. I think it shows why I wonder if I'm Transgender or Bigender. Any thoughts on it are appreciated. 


      What Am I?


      Here I am again tonight,


      Trying best with all my might,


      Just to feel like I'm alright.


      Looking in the mirror's such a chore,


      Because I'll never see who I am looking for.


      One moment, I'm a masculine, mischievous flirt.


      The next, I'm wishing I actually looked good in a skirt.


      My family just can't seem to understand,


      And now my best friend can't even give me a hand.


      It's all because of my jealousy, I know.


      Still, you'd return my feelings if I was a real bro.


      There are times I really do feel like an "it" ,


      but the way you talk about girls makes me prefer that ****.


      I sure do hope I fall asleep soon.


      As always, I'll probably sleep way passed noon.


      I wonder if we'll fight again tomorrow.


      Every fight we have causes me so much sorrow.


      Why can't you, of all people understand me?


      I can only hope one day you will see,


      That all I wanted was for us to be happy.


      Although I don't mean to sound so sappy.


      I guess it's getting a bit late.


      All that's left to do is sleep,


      and say goodnight to this body I hate.



    • May 12, 2016 2:40 AM BST
    • Yet, though a rose by any other name is still a rose,

      a poem not a haiku could be a sonnet.


      Evening breeze whips my skirt,

      Perfume the fragrance of roses,

      Outdoors again-do they know?.

    • September 3, 2015 2:49 AM BST
    • It is tempting to follow a prescribed set of rules, to force that square peg into the nearest round hole, conform to societies expections, but wouldn't it be easier as well as preferable to be happy with what you created yourself?    


      Love is like a butterfly,

      A butterfly of summer,

      It lives, a life, a day,

      So dare to fly butterfly,

      Far too short the sweet do cry,

      To live, a summer butterfly,

      So love to live each day


    • September 2, 2015 11:40 PM BST
    • Thank you for reading my miserable effort at haiku.   Many moons ago if wrote one following the prescribed formula. 
      Thank you for the compliment. I promise to work on it.

    • September 2, 2015 10:03 PM BST
    • Hi Mary Gracie,


      Well done, a slightly unconventional but still very relevant 'haiku' - sometimes express ourselves means exceeding the normal bounds of rules like literary constraints.  


      Sun days off,

      Time runs on,

      To many thought fly south,

      At night stars chase,

      All our dreams .



    • September 2, 2015 6:57 PM BST
    • Feelings
      Physical feelings, mostly pain 
      Emotional feelings hidden, mostly pain
      Physical pain healed, mostly
      Emotional pain forgotten, sometimes remembered
      Remember the joy and not the pain 
      Gracie xxooox

    • June 16, 2015 7:58 PM BST
    • My collection of music
      It runs the gamut from Bach to Beach Boys
      Tunes you can hum and toons that bring back memories,
      I haven’t added to the collection, nothing new…
      I wonder whether I’m missing something, new and exciting.
      Jazz touches me deep in my soul but leaves me empty
      Wanting more.

    • September 15, 2015 6:59 PM BST
    • let me know what i can do to help

    • September 10, 2015 10:22 PM BST
    • OK Katie - tell me what you would like me to do. And, by the way, would you like an article on Mindfrock abou guilt and shame.


      Not been on too much lately.  Tough couple of months for Catriona.


      Big hug, 


    • September 4, 2015 3:20 PM BST
    • I'm finding that running this place, FrockTV and Frock Magazine is all getting a bit too much for me (again).  I wonder if anyone might be interested in volunteering to help out a bit.  If you can give up a couple of hours a month you could be an Assistant Editor.

      That would involve helping us to find new interesting stories and / or being the dedicated editor for a specific department, where you chase up your contributor/s for their material and photo permissions, then proof read their article and submit it for publication.  We'll show you exactly what to do.  If you can write well and are interested in helping, please drop me a line at

      Thanks, Katie   :)


    • August 25, 2015 2:24 PM BST
    • I am working on a Drag Queen Mystery Book. I could use some help. If anybody would like to help me let me know. We can bounce idea's off each other.

    • August 4, 2015 10:08 PM BST
    •      When Ursula got back to her apartment, she got out of her car and carefully carrieed the injured woman to the couch in the livingroom.  After appplying some fresh antiseptic ointment, and a fresh bandage, she placed a blanket over her and went to gather some more supplies to treat her wounds.  Shortly after she left the room,something strange began to happen, the color seemed to return to her cheeks as if nothing had ever happened, stranger still the puncture wounds on her neck looked like they had already healed, or they were barelty there at all!  Who was this person and what was going on?


    • July 24, 2015 3:26 PM BST
    • im reading norah lofts the suffolk triology, final book, on kindle. i dont know Carte Blanche by Jeffrey Deaver. whats it about? the queen and i was a great book,  i wasnt to keen on the second one she wrote. 

    • May 9, 2015 7:37 AM BST
    • Very inspiring, deep and heart touching. Loved it. 

    • January 15, 2015 4:19 PM GMT
    • I wrote this poem sometime last year, thought I'd share it. It's my favouite thing I ever wrote

      I once woke up and looked out the window
      Listen to an intro, ****** on indo
      My pale skin glowed though I felt so rough
      touched by the heat I was safe once
      Spent months in shades, blazing on blunts
      Till an angel had come and it got me wondering
      What happened to fun? Lumbered with sadness
      this cynical world alone I'd crafted
      And mastered the art of a bleeding heart
      I needed a spark, a belief in life
      That I'm sorry I saw in your beautiful eyes
      This storys one so full of surprises, cuz I nearly died on that shameful island
      Truth is in the mist of that silence, for once I really struggled to lie and
      I felt so trapped in your colours... vibrant.
      It went and worsened whenever you asked why.
      You were the person I couldn't deceive, for the first time ever and I couldn't believe it
      Consumed with guilt, holding these secrets
      The walls I'd built I began to hit
      All that I hid as a kid, transparent
      The sands of my life, wasted - apparent
      I hadn't ever felt such a sick imbalance
      As tricks I'd learnt then burned away, I closed all curtains on the 13th day
      Certain that I'm worth to be deserted, but something in my world then diverted back
      To a past imperfect then suddenly 'flash!'
      So I asked myself what help is this mask?
      Then it hit me at last, I remembered fast
      Memories from school and the cul de sac
      That fact remained, no synchronicity
      The answer then danced in the lights of the city
      From the bottom of my heart and this music within me
      The Truth is I was you...


      See, it isn't so easy is it?
      Singing to yourself in such a cold blizzard
      Used to be that wizzard that believed in magic
      I read it all back, was so ******* bad it's...
      Looking to the past, denial of existance
      Instantly that flame in my heart had parted,
      that was when it all started,
      It's hard until you then, crash into stardust
      Try to rise above it but you only cried
      cuz only to lie was a way to survive
      Then a whole your later your amazed at why
      as you wave bye, to your fake defences
      Thinking of the friend you miss still sighing,
      Maybe it's a sign to rewind time
      Learn from your mind as you map the madness
      Turn the traffic like your traffic checking
      eject from the steps that you once had repped in
      then drop the weapons, maybe hope for heaven
      then speak for a second with your head in the clouds
      and be proud to say "**** it I failed"
      cuz I'm only human but Ineed more fuel than money
      or anything I'd ever consumed
      as my minds keep moving in time with music
      Danni's alive though she still ain't used to it
      Her bodys abused and these shoes don't fit
      Knew it as he fell he was soon to lose it
      Till blues hit a fuse and he blew up chewing on a pill and view 'no way to move on'
      when 'So Long Goodbye' was a soothing song
      when suicide used to carese these vibes
      he longed to die, impossible to right whats so wrong... that he can't go on with
      for once in his life he's gotta acknowledge it
      so listen to this and the promise he makes
      you can laugh and judge as the honest breaks him
      All I can say is try to stay patient
      Cuz in those years thats the way his life went...

    • December 19, 2014 6:52 PM GMT
    • Luv ya, Julie.  Stay strong, and we wish you an especially happy christmas.

    • December 19, 2014 6:49 PM GMT
    • Thanks for that Amanda! Puts what I was about to post in a very different lite! "A very different subject" But hey you know me I will be back in a bit with something I need to post too.


      A very Happy Christmas to both you and Cat .


      Julia xxx

    • December 19, 2014 6:35 PM GMT
    • “You know Sam ,” said Gabriel. I’m usually an even tempered type, but often recently, when I’ve been out and about, I’ve been, well, almost despairing.  It’s the Christmas thing –“Peace on Earth and Goodwill to all men – that sort of stuff.  You would think the Boss might have noticed, but no, same old, same old, year after year.  Trust me, I’ve been doing this a long time and to tell you the truth, at first I loved it.  They way the kids were fascinated, wide eyed at the very thought of presents.  Actually, I could swear that they really did believe in Santa and his sleigh, the reindeer, the mistletoe, the Christmas tree – the whole thing


      His friend sipped his tea and looked over.


      “I know” he said.  I’ve not been here as long as but I know what you mean.  Watch it though, walls have ears”


      “What do you mean?” said Gabriel.


      “Look, here you are trying to say that folks believing in a myth is a good thing.  Wenceslas, Christmas fuel and all that stuff.  You could be had up for that.  It just ain’t PC!”


      “Tell you what”, said Gabriel “ People have believed in queerer tales than that.  And any way, even if it was a tale, if it makes people kinder to each other for a couple of weeks – and we get a bit of overtime, what’s the harm?”


      “Dunno!” said Sam.


      “Look – last week I was down in yon place with the cows..”




      “No stupid – Milton Canes or summat.  Well, they got a big shopping place, and I was sitting in the Food Court, across the table from a young girl.  She was, oh, about 26 she was.  Quite a looker too!  Lovely UGGs – I like that word, dark leggings an’ a neat wool dress!


      “And ---- all right, spill the beans!”


      “She did that – right into my lap. She went to stand up and tipped the table – all over me.  Well, she was so upset, shakin’ and cryin’ and trying to apologize at the same time.  Well, I gave her “the look” – you know YouTube make any girl fall for you!”




      Well she dried her eyes, and looked over, mascara all smudged and slightly sniffly.


      “I’m Mary” she said.  “Don’t I know you from somewhere?”


      “Don’t fink so love, not likely really.”


      “Oh, OK.” She said.  “Just that I’ve had a hellish day. Went to the doc’s and he said I can’t start my treatment – something to do with hormonal imbalance or something”. I’ll never be a real woman – ever!


      “You’ll do for me!” said Gabriel.  “Your drop dead gorgeous – you know, that don’t you.  How about you and I slope off for a drink.?”


      And so they did.  The White Hart was busy. Crowded in fact.  They found themselves  a cosy little table, and Mary poured out her heart.  Somehow, she felt safe with this tall, slim grey eyed stranger, who had taken the time to listen to her.  She thought his eyes were those of a sailor perhaps, used to gazing at far horizons where anything could happen.


      “Look, Mary” he said, I have to go now.  Work to do!”


      “Can we meet again sometime” she said, aghast at her own forwardness.


      “We will” he said. “But I can’t be sure where or when.  I’m being posted you see”


      “Army?” she asked. “Where to”.  “Middle East”  he, said, “But I can’t say more, Mary.  Trust me though, things are going to change for you.  Take care, I’ll be thinking of you.”


      He rose, and she watched his back disappearing into the milling crowd of shoppers.


      She went home to the flat, put an old Rick Mayall album on to play, and promptly

      went to sleep, scattering her clothes all over the bedroom. A few hours later, a gray, uncertain light crept under the window blinds, and she stretched.  She felt – well, calm, relaxed and full of hope.  She sat up, feeling slightly odd, noticing the unusual pull of her breasts as she turned.  She cupped them, and burst into tears of joy.


      Far, far away on as sandy, scrubby, sunbaked outcrop of rock, Sam turned to his mate and said “You know Gabriel, for an Angel, you’ve got one awful sense of humour!


      Enjoy! Amanda

    • November 7, 2014 1:56 PM GMT
    • You were not supposed to cry Crissie! I could write pages and pages but I am not that great at getting words to rhyme, more so with such a special friend. I just wanted to say Thank You for being here .


      Sending both Cass and you all of my love , Julia xxxxx

    • November 2, 2014 10:18 AM GMT
    • If people could look far beyond a face

      They would see a very different place

      A place that I found many years ago

      Inside a woman there's a beautiful glow

      A glow that is so warm and like no other

      I wish that I could have been your Mother

      To protect my child who had done no harm

      But to be herself with such innocent charm

      A friend I found whom I can never let go

      So precious to me you will never know

      A friend so special we have shared so much

      So close to me even at distance I feel I can touch

      There are not enough words to say I Thank You

      For just being there for me and the things that you do

      You have always been there for me from the start

      Some others do not see your big Golden heart

      But what I found I will keep untill I die

      A friend that is named Cristine Jennifer Shye.

      Not very creative but very true.

      Thank you Crissie.

      All my love always , Julia xxxXxxx