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    • June 29, 2015 12:26 AM BST
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      Best advice whenstarting a new wardrobe

      I am in what some would call a unique situation. All my clothes makeup, shoes etc were all tossed out by my partner. There is a story behind it but suffice to say the reason it was thrown out was as much my fault as my partners. So onwards and upwards, Now that my partner understands the depth of my feelings she is more than happy for me to replace everything. We are not wealthy people but I do have a reasonable amount owed to me which I should be receiving in the next week or two.So I need ot replace everything. I want quality well designed clothing,things I can mix and match, good evening Dress for going out, Makeup with the correct tones, shoes and accessories that I have never been able to get

       

      Over the years I havce made many attempts to buy clothes etc and have never really been able to get anything that fit properly. The clothes are out there but my terrible terrible guilt and shame caused me to not want to shop properly but as I descibe on my blog "commando shopping"

       

      What I would like to know if you could start your entire wardrobe up again from scratch what would you do differently? What would you buy and what wouldn't you buy? What are your must haves!

       

      One of mine is to ensure I get a good pair of comfortable shoes for around home...I love heels but its a pain if your are trying to do many many things.

      This post was edited by Elizabeth Tokes at June 29, 2015 12:30 AM BST
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    • June 29, 2015 1:46 PM BST
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      I think for me it would be having a secure place to store everything. I use my work bag at the moment. Fortunately, I don't have a lot of things to store. A good portion of my clothes are really my wife's old big girl clothes. She lost almost 150 pounds so she is in petit now. Her old size 18's seem to fit. So I can hide those in plain sight. I have some caftans and corsets that she would know weren't hers so those go in the bag along with any makeup. I keep my nail polish in the foldout drawer for the keyboard in my desk since it never gets used. 
      As far as buying, I work from home so I can easily intercept packages coming in. I usually buy from Amazon so that I don't have all these catalogs coming in. My wife and I had a talk a little about my issues during a long drive this weekend. She said, once again, that she will finish reading the journals. I did tell her that I found a counselor to help me. She was happy about that. So who knows, if I take things really slow, eventually I won't have to hide things away. She tells me she loves me and wants to help. Though, she has said she was going to finish reading the journals before. I don't see that happening as she was back to playing Yahtzee on her phone or investigating all things alpaca on the laptop. I will note that I did tell her before we got married twelve years ago that I almost became a woman. She has read one of the journals, so she knows the issues.

      I would love to be able to have catalogs sent to Emma. I did get one once. I don't know how they got the address. LOL. I have that stuck in that desk drawer. It came from Jessica London. Hmm.
      As far as fit goes, just make sure that wherever you buy has a liberal return policy. As many a cis has told me, it isn't like guy clothes where you know that the same size will get the same fit wherever you buy it. Some run large, some run small. You have to buy and try.  

    • June 29, 2015 5:35 PM BST
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      Well,best experiences are trying on lots of clothes ,conclusions only buy if it fits and you feel that extra lift, be it comfort, or just a shape boost type thing.if it feels awkward ,but looks good, don't buy.its got to look stunning to be worth the discomfort.Be practical and comfortable first.The clothes should channel your flow, not be hiding something.In the past I can identify that the clothes I used to choose where wrong , in this respect
    • June 29, 2015 7:18 PM BST
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      The thing i would do is have  natrual evryday look  make over and buy the stuff they use if it was what i liked, then it would have been just a case of lightening up the foundation as i git rid of the face hair, guess i was never going to be the face of  Vogue even if i could pull it off ! oh and mineral stuff supposed to be good, which i am finally going to invest in . . .. . . Laughing

    • June 29, 2015 9:07 PM BST
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      Untitled title

      Emma Croft said:

      I think for me it would be having a secure place to store everything. I use my work bag at the moment. Fortunately, I don't have a lot of things to store. A good portion of my clothes are really my wife's old big girl clothes. She lost almost 150 pounds so she is in petit now. Her old size 18's seem to fit. So I can hide those in plain sight. I have some caftans and corsets that she would know weren't hers so those go in the bag along with any makeup. I keep my nail polish in the foldout drawer for the keyboard in my desk since it never gets used. 
      As far as buying, I work from home so I can easily intercept packages coming in. I usually buy from Amazon so that I don't have all these catalogs coming in. My wife and I had a talk a little about my issues during a long drive this weekend. She said, once again, that she will finish reading the journals. I did tell her that I found a counselor to help me. She was happy about that. So who knows, if I take things really slow, eventually I won't have to hide things away. She tells me she loves me and wants to help. Though, she has said she was going to finish reading the journals before. I don't see that happening as she was back to playing Yahtzee on her phone or investigating all things alpaca on the laptop. I will note that I did tell her before we got married twelve years ago that I almost became a woman. She has read one of the journals, so she knows the issues.

      I would love to be able to have catalogs sent to Emma. I did get one once. I don't know how they got the address. LOL. I have that stuck in that desk drawer. It came from Jessica London. Hmm.
      As far as fit goes, just make sure that wherever you buy has a liberal return policy. As many a cis has told me, it isn't like guy clothes where you know that the same size will get the same fit wherever you buy it. Some run large, some run small. You have to buy and try.  

      Hi Emma

      Thanhkyou for responding. I am lucky that my days of hiding are over and it eases my mind emensely. I understand your frustration at remaining in a limbo position where your partner knows but it really makes very little difference because she is not approving. Before really talking to my partner I made sure I understood exactly what it was I wanted to say to her, took my time and ensured she understood. I still had it wrong because I wasn't listening to her...I was hearing the words just not listening. The second time I spoke to her she told me she did not understand the depth of my7 deeling and how important it was to me.Once she underst6ood t5his her attitude changed and she has agreed to get counselling to help her though the issues this raises for her. 

       

      Living life in the closet is horrible, Living life in the closet when your significant other knows is even worse.

       

      "Too thine own self be true"

       

      SAra T

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    • June 29, 2015 9:15 PM BST
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      Untitled title

      Donna V said:
      Well,best experiences are trying on lots of clothes ,conclusions only buy if it fits and you feel that extra lift, be it comfort, or just a shape boost type thing.if it feels awkward ,but looks good, don't buy.its got to look stunning to be worth the discomfort.Be practical and comfortable first.The clothes should channel your flow, not be hiding something.In the past I can identify that the clothes I used to choose where wrong , in this respect

      Hi Donna

      I hear you apout the choice of clothes. Some of mine were...shall we say less than tasteful in the early days, Make up was more in akin to being shot in the face with the Homer Simpson Make-up gun . I like the idea of trying on lots of clothes to ger correct fit and color. I have tried with one of the smaller department store chains to get a private session witha stylist but I can't even get them to respoind. I offered a minum spend to make it worth thier while, still no response.  I think I will find a couple of stores where I like their clothes and order various sizes so that I can get the right fit and return the rest.

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    • June 29, 2015 9:18 PM BST
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      Untitled title

      Davina G said:

      The thing i would do is have  natrual evryday look  make over and buy the stuff they use if it was what i liked, then it would have been just a case of lightening up the foundation as i git rid of the face hair, guess i was never going to be the face of  Vogue even if i could pull it off ! oh and mineral stuff supposed to be good, which i am finally going to invest in . . .. . . Laughing

      I really like that idea, I have been lloking at makeupo for some time now and wondered about the mineral stuff like cover girl. I know there are TG friendly makeup stores around and a makeover would be the perfect solution to getting the right colors. I like the idea of a natural look and not somehting that takes me 2 hrs each day to put together.

       

      Cheers

       

      Sarah T

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