Hi, I am a bit of a delema. I advised my manager that i was TG to give her the respect of knowing that i was on HRT and changes are afoot, but no one really needed to know at this stage.

Now nearly every day she says i should be telling peole around me and the workforce as i am showing changes in looks and behaviour. I have asked those who know do they notice anything any they say no, but my manager keeps saying i need to come out.

I havent even come out to my real life, my family know and thats it, she doesnt understand about the timing. I advised her that i am waiting for my wife's full acceptance first as we know it takes time, i suppose one day soon it will just be there as HRT does work and visible changes can be seen.

I work in the mining industry so careful does it.

What are your thoughts should i live another life at work than at home? I do work away however there are peolpe here living in the same small town as me.

Naomi Love to you all

I would do whatever you are comfortalble with, but I would be careful who you tell at work: It may cause problems if you wish to stay there.

Thanks, Gerri Kay

If you are on HRT I cannot see how you can live a different life at home than at work. You are either out or you aren't, you can't be out 'a bit'. 

You shouldn't feel pressured to come out but be aware that both you and your close colleagues may not notice any differences, as they see you often and you see yourself everyday in the mirror. It is often someone who does not see you regularly that will notice the differences more. Your manager could be advising you because she believes others will notice and act upon it. People will notice your boobs so I would suggest that you talk to her about it and discuss a timeline that you both feel is realistic. You may also gain 'protected characteristic' as in the UK, which helps to protect you from discrimination so it is much easier to be out than not. It would be worth checking the relevant legislation for employment, equality and discrimination for your country. 

Besides, if you are transitioning, surely you want to let yourself bloom? 

You're right. I am not transitioning, so I wouldn't know. I wish you the best.

Gerri 

Hi girls, thanks for your replies, yes i cant wait to be me, however as i work in the mining industry everything need to be right before you come out. Our uniforms are not flattering at all and hide all and sundry even women here dont look like women so trying to find out what is going on. I have spoken to my friends here and they say they notice nothing. I have found out though my manager is ladder climbing and we are goning through more resturcturing and alot of retrenchments so need to be very careful. She would like to put the fact that i am Tg on her resume to say she helped my come out and supported the transition not from my view and what is better for me.

I know being on HRT i will change and loving every minute ( bloom is all i want, i am a bit of a flower :-) ) i want to be totally out which i will soon but not right now and not just for her to keep her job at my expense. I am not a person to be pushed into anythng it has to be my time.

I have discussed an actin plan for when it is time and the process i would like to take but she doesn't want to wait for that and wants me to do it now. Our next restructure and layoffs are coming in the next month so timing a bit out for her. Antidiscrimination laws are here and very good and followed but finding another reason to get rid of you can always be found, i am the last on here so could be the first off and i want that decision to be due to that and not my gender, no advantages or disadvantages just treated the same.

thanks again love t you all and happy Easter XXXXX

It's not up to her!

Just do it to your own timeframe, and ask her to be patient with you. There is a lot to deal with and you need to be ready in so many ways. 

There is no rush.

xx