For some Transgender females life may seem like a competion between genetic females but in my opinion it is not. Why would anyone want to compete with what they aspire to be?. If anyone is a transexual then your mind thinks just as any other females does. Okay we do go through a lot to become our true selves as we were in the wrong queue when body's were being handed out but our minds jumped ship at some point.

 

We live in a world now where modern medicine can correct the mistake nature made. I hear stories from other transexuals about how hard it is to just fit into society. I hear things about body frame and height causing problems and other things too. Unless you want to cut your legs off you are not going to get shorter and my guess is you want to keep your legs. As for body frame genetic females do come in all shapes and sizes too.

 

I need genetic females in my life and it is nice to know they need me to , as friends. However beautiful they may seem to me or others beleive me they do have their own problems. I talk to genetic females daily and they have a hard time too , some ask me for advice. Sometimes my female friends will call me on the phone in tears just needing to talk about a problem they have , on several occasions at stupid o'clock in the morning waking me up. They always ask did I wake you up? I reply yes if I was asleep but I really do not mind , I need my friends and it is nice to know they need me.

I would say about 50% of my female friends work in the beauty and fashion industry , ideal for me for the free samples. For them though it is a constant battle to look good as their jobs depend on it , that is wrong.

If anyone feels inadequate being Transexual then you are not alone , most genetic females feel the same. Next time you go into town/city just take a look around you , watch the females. Some just abuse their body's by stuffing themselves with unhealthy food and drink , they are not always happy. Some are extremely beautiful but have the personality of Cucumber.

 

I guess my point in this is that perfection does not exist. Never envy what or who you do not know. You are who you are so make the most of it , make friends and lead a happy life with those friends.

My friends mean everything to me as they are my family and I have chosen them or them me , what family I have do not want to know me , that was their choice. I could not get by without my new family who are genetic females.

I am inspired by other females but never envy them. I kind of like being me , life has not always been easy but you are all so so lucky there is only one me  the world is not ready for another one yet.

 

Take care xx

Thank you Crissie but for something I typed in a hurry as I needed to be somewhere Brilliant?. It was Lisa's recent problem here that made me think of it. I bet she could tell a few things that have affected her life just because she is female.

Any transgender person needs to put their lives into perspective. They need to stop and think how lucky they may be. Okay we have high suicide rates but that is mainly in the younger generation. Young lives wasted because of ignorance but we can help bring those rates down and I beleive gentic females can do the same. Genetic females are a lot more accepting and understanding than most males are , even though I do meet nice respectfull males I do not think many would go out of their way to help in understanding us.

 

I have had what I call a privilege to be given a chance to stand on stage and talk to both genders about awareness a few times , those few times add up to well over 1,000 people of both genders. After doing that males do say well done and maybe a few more words but it is the females who wish to know more. The poster I sent you which is displayed in my doctors surgery which contains an image of me can be seen by over 10,000 patients. A silly poster showing an image of me explaining in words too has even made a difference. Strangers stop me and say are you Julia? When I reply yes they say I thought it was you , I read the poster in the doctors. Only females have said that to me.

 

We can all aspire to be whom are in fact our role models "Gentic females" But we have no need to compete. We are who we are and they are who they are but we think alike.

Some times we need to just sit back and think how lucky we are. Forget the hard parts of life (I know easy to say but we can) and stop and think it is not just us , a very large percentage of genetic females have a hard life. I know from my own life experiences that genetic females can teach us a lot and we can teach them that this is not a life style choice. I know I am a bit mad but I am also very sane and no sane person would do what we do out of choice. As most of us know the only choice we made/make was/is to be honest with ourselves and others.

Some people are born with body defects. Some people are born with genes that carry early termination of life. Some people will have a serious illness and just die not even knowing they had it. The world is a mad place but we have to make the most of it.

 

Take care xx

PS: Crissie , Thank you for the inspiration over the years xx

People do think the grass is greener on the other side, and may wish for someone else's life, but be careful what you wish for, because you don't know what they may have gone through in life. That genetic female could have been raped, mentally or sexually abused during childhood, lost her baby because her boyfriend kicked her in the stomach. That transgender woman you wish you looked like could have been raped, beaten, bullied or torn apart from her children because of an angry spouse.

I was sexually assaulted twice in my life, mildly if you can say that but still disturbing--groped once at 18 in an enclosed front of a building (I was trying to enter a modeling agency and they had a locked front door and intercom) and flashed by some creepy old man in a van at 16 (walking home from school, I thought he was asking for directions) I cried and cried and never told anyone at the time, so I can fully understand why people don't tell anyone when they've been raped or molested. I felt ashamed, and wasn't even raped, I can't even imagine the shame someone feels when raped or molested. Also, my mother was mentally, emotionally, and on rare occasions physically abusive (one time very severely leaving bruises that lasted for over a month), which was the main reason I joined the US Army. We've had a tumultuous relationship and at one point I went for years without any contact, now we're finally in a good place. As you know from my last post, I was made to feel bad by certain people about me not wanting to have children. I've also gone down the rabbit hole of doing drugs but thankfully left that life before it could become an addiction.

Regarding height, if you're tall, there's really nothing you can do, except wear flats, but what's the fun in that? Regarding your face, we can only change so much through surgery (and not everyone can afford it), so work with what you've got! I always wished I was ten inches taller. I wanted to be a model when I was younger (never happened because I'm five foot tall, they will barely accept someone who's 5'9" or 5'8" I think Kate Moss is an exception like that), so LOVE the height you are. I accepted my height a long time ago, I just work at not getting wider, because then I'll look even shorter. As you can see from my latest pictures, not exactly the most girlie girl looking person. I decided to play up my androgynous features instead of hiding them, which I normally do (I always wear my hair down when I go outside, even in blazing summer heat). Over the years, I've perfected the art of make up and can make my eyes look bigger and do my hair so my face looks softer. So let your hair down and pick up your make up brushes and get going. Trust me, the longer you do it, the better you'll get. Plus there's make up experts on YouTube now, not there when I was learning!

Beautifully stated, Julia, everyone suffers things like diseases, including cancer, birth defects, the everyday troubles and unjust things that happen in life, death of a loved one...why brood about life and pine after someone else's life, and feel bad about your predicament? Yes, there will be moments when we feel bad for ourselves, ask God why me, but the point in life is to try to be strong and pick yourself up and reach out to others and get help, find yourself, become happy and get in a good place...and then start helping others who felt like you did and were where you used to be. That seems to be like a majority of the people I've encountered here, including you! Julia, you ARE a woman, you didn't choose this, and I KNOW this because you go well out of your way--above and beyond--to help people, to nurture people, in your life and on this site, which is SO 100% woman.

Question to TGs: does your face get naturally softer and more feminine with long term hormone use?

Thank you so much for your post Lisa. A few years ago I wanted to prove my point so I carried out a survey that consisted of 115 males and 445 females in my home town which has a population of about 150,000 people. The idea of it was to present it to the police because I knew I would get honest answers. It is to long and maybe to boring to post the whole thing here but here is a part of it.

 

I asked 445 females if they knew the real meaning of the word Transgender? 332 were correct.

I asked 115 males the same question and only 3 knew the real meaning.

 

I asked 445 females if they had suffered any form of abuse? A shocking 329 had or admitted it to me.

I asked the same question to 115 males and only 1 answered yes or admitted it to me.

 

Other questions were about safety in the town etc.

I said those figures for females were shocking but I did expect it to be high , that is because I have had so many conversations with other females and I knew a lot of them have had a hard life just as yours has been.

I summed the survey up with the words " I am just as safe as any other female in this town". If you are anything like myself Lisa then you have not posted what you did for sympathy as sympathy sucks in my opinion. This is about empathy. It is about relating to each other , and I mean all of us. Being female transgender and being genetic female makes us all vulnerable to abuse. Again I thank you for your post it is very much appreciated.

 

As for your question on hormones!. All genetic females Oestrogen levels drop with age and testosterone levels rise. That causes a females head hair to thin and body hair (even facial) to increase. The drugs I take do the reverse , in fact my full head of hair grows way to fast. I have no noticeable body hair and I have been on HRT  for a decade and T blockers. Previous to me taking any hormones my skin was oily but that changed.

I am told I have a good complexion but I am 58 years old but wear minimum make up. I have no facial hair to cover as I had it removed at the start of my transition. I do use Vaniqa to prevent any regrowth. All of my medication is prescribed by my doctor.

I have posted the only image I have of what I was aged 47 on here before but I am not doing it again as it caused me problems with a few members , most said it was brave of me but it was a big mistake. When I show that image to people they do not beleive it was me , I was in actual fact a sad excuse of a human being. I had a 40 inch waist which is now 28 inches.

 

Love , Julia x

Wow, a lot of us females get abused or have experienced some form of sexual assault, that's for sure. Yes it is about relating to each other, definitely not sympathy, don't feel sorry for me, I feel like I've been very fortunate in life, a lot of people's lives are a lot worse than me, I don't live in a third world country, nothing that traumatic has happened to me, I've been very lucky--knock on wood!

I forgot to mention one other struggle that I've had, and this is directly related to being a genetic female...

When I first met my husband, we would watch porn together, and all the girls have a tiny cute little inner labia that is smaller than the outer labia. I have one that sticks out a bit, not an extreme case, but enough to see I'm not like the others. I developed a complex and felt ugly down there, and even told my husband we should save money so I could get LABIAPLASTY! Yes, they trim reshape the inner labia to look porn star fresh! If you go online, some sites may say that a long labia minora is abnormal, then they mention labiaplasty...hmmm. I'd be curious to know if SRS consists of always making the labia minora smaller. If yes, I guess you could say that maybe it is abnormal. Hey, I'm abnormal too! Another site said that 35% of women have a longer labia minora. In any case, they don't show it in mainstream porn, only if you look up fetish porn, I'm sure you'll find it. I am not a fetish! Sound familiar? (transgender people are probably considered some kind of fetish) Over time, my husband noticed how bad I felt and we stopped watching porn, with each other and him alone. I know sometimes porn may pop up on his screen, he gets curious, clicks on things, looks for a bit, but he says he always saves himself for our "sexy time." Eventually, I got over my complex and feel good about my body. But boy, what a ride!

Funny article I just found that lets me know I'm not alone: http://www.thefrisky.com/2013-03-04/girl-talk-i-have-long-labia/

No oily skin, how lucky! I've had super oily skin since 12, and a slight receded hairline that doesn't seem to be moving back thank goodness. Just the result of slightly higher than average testosterone since I was a kid. No hair overgrown, thank goodness, probably because I'm half Asian.

Lisa you missed my PM about your post above. I advised you not to post it but it is courageous of you to share this anyway. If you get any ignorant comeback from your honesty you know what to do.

The whole point in this topic is that we are all unique but we are basically the same gender.

 

Take care xx

Yes, missed it, but do want to show that there's always something! There's always an issue, an insecurity, a "flaw" that we obsess about...and then there's acceptance, that this is the body we've been given, these are the cards that have been dealt, and we should love ourselves and love our bodies through every stage, no matter if we do something about it (surgically, hormonally, etc) or not. I'm just telling it from my personal experience, I know it's a hell of a lot different for the transgender person, but at the core, there are a few similarities. We want to look good, feel good, feel confident, feel like beautiful sexy women!!!

Lisa.

You are a very special woman and thank you for being here. Your understanding is very welcome. As I posted somewhere above "Perfection does not exist" We are who we are and should be gratefull for what we have and who we are.

 

Love , Julia x

Thank you, Julia, you're too kind!

And yes, like you mentioned above:

"We are who we are and they are who they are but we think alike.
Some times we need to just sit back and think how lucky we are. Forget the hard parts of life (I know easy to say but we can) and stop and think it is not just us , a very large percentage of genetic females have a hard life."

"I guess my point in this is that perfection does not exist. Never envy what or who you do not know. You are who you are so make the most of it , make friends and lead a happy life with those friends."

Bravo! You may not have a high education level, but you write so eloquently and you are so wise. Street smarts are better than book smarts anyway!

And lastly, one ironic/fun point I wanted to bring up is...if my thinking is true and SRS consists of making the inner labia smaller, or "normal" as some experts say, then many trans women of the world are more "normal looking" than MYSELF and others who have this so-called abnormality! That should put things in perspective. In no way am I insulting anyone who doesn't look "normal" anywhere on their body. My post here is in jest and mostly to point out the irony in how we all want something that we don't have, as in (this is me talking to myself):

"NO, I can't have a transgender woman's OR genetic woman's hoo ha! I have to accept what I have!"

"Plus, isn't surgery (labiaplasty, in my case) too expensive? And should I give in to what society tells me I should look like down there?" Questions you may have, or already have asked yourself.

In any case, I think everyone looks normal down there because what is normal anyway? There's no such thing as normal as everyone is totally unique.

Important: I hope no one here thinks I'm rubbing it in that I'm a GG, as someone has said to me in a nasty PM (see Hate mail in Welcome new members section). Do you think a post surgery TG is rubbing it in your face too? Please please PLEASE don't think that. Like Julia said, we all have to live in the same world, so let's see our similarities and not our differences. So, in closing let me clarify that I am not trivializing a very serious condition that can be horrible to live day after day. I know it can't be easy, and in the end, it's still easier being me in the current world, I do not take this matter lightly. Thank you.

We live in a complicated world but who makes it complicated? Humans do. Through my loss of education I have never lost my desire to learn and never will whilst I can. I will also continue to teach as long as I can and given the chance. I am lucky enough to have been given that chance to teach via My local BBC studio , college and police and paramedics , basically anyone who will listen.

 

Apart from one 6 year old member still here we are all adults . I often wonder why things have to be made complicated when the answers are in front of us. It is like there is a Government Ministry of make things complicated department.

 

Why should anyone give a sh*t about gender , looks , body size if a person is kind helpfull and has a personality? Humans just like to complicate things. After millions of years of evolution we should know everything. If someone bought a new Barbie Doll and it had a fault they would take it back for a replacement. We are not Barbie Dolls though so we just get on with it , what ever faults we just carry on.

It is what is on the inside of a person that counts. Having feelings for others , the ability to care , just having a heart and being able to give , pass on our knowledge to those in need. Fact is we are all faulty and that is called being human.

I am tired , it is 00.47 AM here in the UK and I am going to bed.

 

Take care , Julia xx

 

Cristine, Shye said:

Brilliant.

 

Above is one of my favourite words "Brilliant"

 

I was nearly asleep when I typed the words above. I will now explain even if it is off topic. I had an X Ray at the dentist and he showed me the image. He said that dark thing there should not be there , it was about the size of a pea. I told him it is my brain but he was not agreeing with me and said you need to go to hospital to get it investigated , so boring. Anyway an appointment came and I attended. I was in a room with a mad doctor and a nurse and the doctor said he was going to cut it out (the pea). The mad doctor whom I also told it was my brain was explaining how he was going to do it , he even said I would have to be put to sleep as it could not be done with me awake. I was listening but with not much interest as I was not going to let him do it , I told him it has probably been there most of my life.

 

He wanted to cut my mouth open right down to my chin. I said why can't you just make a little hole and suck it out?. No he said we have to do it the other way. I was looking at things on his desk and this long silver thing had the word brilliant on it , he continued telling me about what he thought he was going to do to me and when he finished he said does that sound okay? I replied "Brilliant" He said shocked what? I said that thing on your desk is brilliant. He said he had never noticed it but what about what we have discussed? I just said it is not going to happen the pea is staying. After all of the years that have passed since , I have had more X Rays at the dentist but no one has mentioned it , it is like it has just vanished yet the mad doctor wanted put me to sleep and to cut my mouth about.

 

Humans do complicate things in more ways than anyone can imagine xx

 

 

This post was edited by Former Member at March 26, 2016 5:08 PM GMT

This is a really interesting topic and one that always comes around as it is very relevant to us. We are so concerned with trying to mold ourselves into the perfect female that very few of us actually understand that 1. it simply isn't possible, and 2. we like our uniqueness, it's what makes us who we are. This is no different to CIS women. We aren't 'porn perfect' or 'catwalk models' and like other women, we manage to live happily day to day without measuring up to those 'standards.' Sure, there are things I would change, but I can't, it's physically impossible so I deal with it, as do other TG and CIS women. When I see 'perfect' women who have spent thousands on surgery (I read about some twins online recently) then it reaffirms that I do not want to be like that. I am living successfully despite my 'flaws' so what more can I ask for? 

 

You know the one I really hate, which you get on TG sites, including this one years ago? Some guy who "would like to date a TG but only if she is totally convincing." For date, read 'sex' and WHAT?!?!?! Who are you to say whether I am convincing or not!!! Where's your profile photo? Have you considered that you don't match MY expections in a man? These are just idiots who have been watching too much porn and want to try it for themselves. Urrggh!! 

Ok, rant over, for now at least.  

 

Nicely put Nikki and some good points , thank you. Are you talking about my old topic

"Stupid question are you convincing"?. I was going to put a link to it here but it contains posts from someone I thought was a friend , how wrong was I?.

 

I have many flaws but a couple of years ago I was asked to model some clothes on a catwalk. I asked why me? Because you are tall and slim and can walk in heels. After seeing the clothes they wanted me to wear I declined their offer but it was nice I suppose to be asked.

 

Take care , Julia x

We all have flaws Julia, it's how we carry ourselves that makes all the difference. 

Out of everything, getting older and everything it brings with it is my biggest concern!