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Genetic female v Transgender female part 2

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  • I do not think all has been said on this subject. I stated in part one it is not a competition and it is not , it is just a matter of fitting in.

    I have had a rather hectic week sorting out my business. Yesterday I sat down with a 23 year old genetic female whom I will be working close to and we just talked. Remember this is a 23 year old genetic female and she told "me" I am perfect , I had to tell her as I have said before there is no such thing as perfect. I should feel flattered I suppose but I do not , it is sad that she should feel that way.

    I was sitting next to a young and beautiful genetic female and she was telling me that I am perfect. I asked her what made her say what she had? Her response was , you are just so comfortable and confident in your own skin , you just talk to anyone like you have known them for years. Yes I will talk to anyone worth talking to but this happens fairly often , females opening up to me.

    I am open and honest about my life and I for some reason cannot and will not deny my past , it is just the way I am but it has made me a lot of friends.

     

    So why would a 23 year old genetic female think that she is a lesser human being than me?. A lot if not most transgender females think that their life is hard and I from my own experiences know why and can see why. When genetic females open up to me I get to hear how hard their lives are too so again it is not a competition as there are winners and losers in all of us.

    Last week another young genetic female asked me for advice. She has a long term boyfriend and she had also been seeing someone else without him knowing. She asked me what she should do , I asked her do you love your boyfriend? I do not know she said . I told her in my opinion if you did you would not need to see someone else behind his back. She then admitted he was boring and that is why she was seeing the other man.

    I asked her about the other man. She said he only contacts me when he wants sex. She had tears in her eyes and I told her I think you need to be honest with both of them , in other words dump them both. She is an amazing girl in many ways and she can do better than that. She has taken my advice and is now very single again "But happy".

    That is what life is about to any of us , just being happy and content. When a 23 year old genetic female thinks that I am better than her then she needs to be told I am no better than the next woman. I will make her see sense and also get some confidence into her , she deserves better than to look to me as an example.

    So next time you feel down on yourself just remember being a woman is not easy whether you were assigned one at birth or not.

     

    You all take care xx

     

    Edit: Spell error corrected.

    This post was edited by Former Member at April 4, 2016 2:55 AM BST
      April 3, 2016 9:36 PM BST
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  • Perhaps, Julie, she does not think she is a lesser person in any way, and simply wanted to compliment you.

    Being alive, whether male OR Female is not always easy, is it. We jaust have to do the best we can.  Best of luck with the business!

     

    Big hug,

     

    Amanda

      April 4, 2016 9:56 AM BST
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  • Hi Amanda.

    The conversation we had was long and kind of intense. I know she is not a lesser person than myself and I will make sure she realises that , she has A levels and O levels yet serves food and drinks in a coffee shop. As you know I am uneducated and although I am a lot older than her she actually said that I am better than her , I am not. It just seems sad to me that she should say the things she did. At her age she has everything going for her and so much on her side , it is just the times we live in. I mix a lot with the younger generation and once they have left school and college there is just not much for them to look forward to.

     

    I told her to look out of that window. I asked her have you noticed anything?  I had to point out to her so many unhappy faces.

    She will be okay I will make sure of that , she now knows she has someone to talk to and to let her know that she is special , or at least make her feel special because in my eyes she is.

     

    Thank you for the good luck wishes with my business, as long as it still keeps me alive and pays the bills then I am happy.

     

    Hugs , Julia x

      April 4, 2016 2:44 PM BST
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  • At 23, she is still a baby! At 21, I thought I knew it all. I got married to someone who was showing signs of abuse, putting me down verbally, pushing me off the bed or out of a parked car out of anger. I was in the Army and thought we would get stationed together if we got married...we were not stationed together on the same base. We never even lived together. At the same time, there was this guy I got involved with on my base, another soldier. We would have passionate sex but he was interested in being with a single mother--a civilian--who I thought was fat and plain looking, why does he want to be with her and not me who was beautiful and fit? In the end, the whole affair made me realize I was unhappy with my marriage to the first guy I ever had sex with at age 20 and a half...I did not want to be loved like that, being mistreated and abused. So at 22, after a year and a half pathetic marriage, I got a divorce. And eventually the affair with the other guy ended, as he was more interested in that woman. Yes, I had a couple more love interests in my twenties, and learned A LOT about what I DIDN'T want in a relationship, and spent my 20s mostly alone yet HAPPY. And yes, looking back, I was a baby all through my twenties, figuring out who I was and what I wanted in life.

    Julia, you ARE "perfect" with all your "imperfections," just as I am "perfect" with all of my "imperfections." That's what makes us human. Our imperfections make us...perfect! That's your philosophy lesson for today!
      April 4, 2016 5:57 PM BST
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  • Yes she is just a baby at 23 Lisa but it is easy to see why the youth in todays world feel they have little hope. With all of her qualifications she must feel under valued and others too. They are pressured into gaining pieces of paper stating how clever they are yet cannot use those skills. I just hope the future for them gets better as it is demoralising.

     

    Thank you for the philosophy lesson , I know how to spell it now lol :)

     

    I am late , take care

     

    Julia xx

      April 5, 2016 5:54 AM BST
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  • 1 146

    Thanks to Lisa and Julia for the posts,

                            It made me think just how different our early experiences  can be , but how very similar we are in the way we emerge from these experiences with a sense that we have to care for each other having gained that understanding .The people as they age and experience show more empathy, better communication.That said ,there does seem to be a very opionated portion of society that I genuinely believe is incapable of emerging from their experiences in a positive way,in fact quite the opposite.with Age less empathy , more ego,more focus on status ,power.

     I can reflect that its has taken me a long while to develop,trying to fit in. getting it wrong along the way.having the doubts others did not seem to.I have been in a long term relationship just over 25 years, and was a late starter.I now think There is nothing really wrong with this funny extreme type of arrested development I went through.Afterall I can now identify as a  transexual was born with a number of predisposing genetic factors, but back then society was struggling,my mum and dad worked and had to follow the rules and expectations and so did I.Now my Mum and Dad are in their 80s and they confide in me and agree it was a shame that as humans we seem to have to follow the norms and knowledge of the time.In this respect we are all victims of a shared humanity.Transgendered people are perhaps more victimised by this behavioural process of expectation and imposition to develop quickly and do something, to be a SOMEBODY.Somethings just take longer 

    <p>Donna_V</p>
      April 5, 2016 1:49 PM BST
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  • Yes Donna, there are some people who never learn, never grow, never look at themselves and will always put down others...and unfortunately technology makes it easier for people to feed into the Me Me Me mentality. I try to stay away from those people.

    Donna...it's never too late...you are an example of this...better late than never...

    I've gotten things wrong along the way too, they may be different things than you have experienced, but over time we learn and then try to improve and make better decisions. You have made the best decision to finally be yourself.

    There are many late bloomers like yourself...many are transgender, and some are genetic women who are late bloomers as well. There are many shy, reclusive women who don't venture out into the world until much later in life.
      April 5, 2016 4:53 PM BST
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  • Isn't "better" such a damning word? Now, Julie, I think I am better than you, at making quiche.  I might even be better than you at speaking Spanish.  But does that make me a better person?  Does it rubbish.

    I am not better at speaking out, showing what I am to my neighbours (I'm too **** scared).  Please folks, when you think better, think only "Better at what?"  And If I am not so good in that area, what can I do to improve in my own estimation.  Then, when you find out....act on it!

     

    Love to all here who really do care about their fellow travellers - at whatever end of the specreum

      April 5, 2016 5:13 PM BST
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