I lay back and let the feelings of sensuality and excitement wash over me.  Wave after wave, after wave.  I did not touch myself.  I had no need.  The precome was between my thighs, on my tummy.  Slippery.  My nipples tingled with anticipation.  They were standing so proud. Oh I wanted to feel those rough hands.  

The thoughts wandered through my mind.  I am here to service.  I am a receptacle.  I am here for pleasure, to give and receive.  My fantasies ran away and I exploded in an orgasm that took my mind to the stars.  Oh to be truly fem, I thought.  I loved the messy come all over my tunmmy.  I wanted desperately to push a finger inside me but alas!  I am still a boy!

I lay there, exhausted, winded from my psychic experiences.  My panties pushed aside, exposing me.  My bra pushed up in disarray.  Where was my top?  I have no recollection of it. My stockings were undone, falling, loose on my legs.  My hair was everywhere, even my lipstick was  smeared.  My tight skirt was wrapped around my waist.  Oh to make love to my mate.

My legs, parted in the vee of love, askew, waiting to be taken, again.

Enough.  Get on with it.  My mother called up the staircase.  What are you doing?  You are late for school again.  Hurry.  Run.  The bus is coming!

Another day, a reality I don't want.  A rawness for which I have no need.  Rough school uniforms, heavy black shoes, a shirt like sandpaper, especially on my sensitive nipples.  And the company of boys, thousands of them.

I return to the life outside of myself, in the form that I am not and never will be.  A boy!  NO!  help me.  I am a girl. Forever.