I have been full time now for almost a year. May 2004 was when I started doing so. It was almost an accident. I had been mixing male and female clothes for years by this point. When it happened I didnt really relise it till it had been like a month and even without trying I was being called miss and madam at the shops.

I loved it and just continued doing so. I was home from Europe for only one reason so I suppose it was subconcous, but it happened. I started going throught the processes which take forever to start and even longer to finish! I have been on Hormones now since september.

Living day to day as a woman no longer became a thought for me it was just something that was natural. So it hurt more when people thought of me as male as I was just not expecting it. Being unemployed made things difficult as it was easy to shut off from the world.

Now I am living life. I am back educating myself. This has been great for I have met a bunch of people who only know me form what I tell them about me and what they see me do. They all love me and I have not one of them thinking of me as anything other than a woman. Mind you they are fascinated by me as I am openly gay. They all want to know more about it and are genuinely are nice people.

This has taught me that I am female. People know me as a lesbian woman and accept me. I have actually found me being very happy with this forced dealings with the world. I have really let go of male thoughts and dont bother hiding or feeling for my typical female facial expressions and carry on's. Women express themselve like this and I have found that I no longer think they think I'm sillu when I do it, they think I'm female and that is all!

Well I just thought I'd share this with you all.

Karen,

wow i just read your reply and was really touched. Thank you.

Fiona I don't know you, I will never meet you. I have met your mind, the way you think. If it wasn't for this site I'd have never known. Your right you ARE female. For some reason you make me smile. I hope that sounds right I just think your a lovely person.
Karen XXXOOO