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So your man is a crossdresser...

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  • How do you deal with it?  What does it mean?  Here is some advice for you:

    http://www.krakowpost.com/article/2474

    Dear Dr. Ovlowska,

    Help! I just found out that my boyfriend likes to dress up like a woman when I’m out of town, and I don’t know whether to be mortified or excited. Right now I’m just confused. What do I do?

    "A live lived in fear is a life half-lived." - Native American proverb. "Inside every man is a woman who was drowned in testosterone before birth". - Wendy Jeanette Larsen "It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you're not." - Andre Gide (French writer)
      December 23, 2010 11:56 PM GMT
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  • Enjoy it my SO does, she gets to have a girlfriend to shop with and cuddle but then she gets the other side when that time is right too


     


    Smile life is hard enough


     


    Jen

      May 14, 2011 4:36 PM BST
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  • Moderator
    121

    The linky wouldn't work for me Wendy.


     


    OK, so yer man is a crossdresser..........


    This is not something to be scared of or revolted by for starters.But yes it is a shock, maybe bad maybe good.


    He is compelled to do it.


    Making him stop cos you don't approve will end up with you both being miserable (and you probably won't be able to make him stop anyway.)


    This does need to be talked about, it can't be ignored and swept under the carpet if you wish to continue the relationship.


     


    Just because he likes to dress as a woman doesn't mean he actually wants to be a woman.


    But!!!!!!! When myself and my partner first met she did identify as a crossdresser. 6 years on and after lots of soul searching and talking to eachother, she is now embarking on transitioning to female. And that is fine with me. She will finally be the woman that we both know she really is.


     


    I agree with Jen, it can be like having a new female friend. But a friend who may need help (and deffinately support) choosing clothes, make-up,jewellery and a wig that suits.


     


    Good communication is absolutely vital!!!!!!!!


     


     


    Love love from E-J  xx


     


     

    E-J XX
      May 29, 2011 5:24 PM BST
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  • E-J,


    Mandy is very lucky to have a S.O. like you. So many just don't understand.


    Best, Mellie

    <p><span style="color: #800080;">Girls will be boys and boys will be girls It's a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for Lola Lo-lo-lo-lo Lola</span> - Ray Davies, The Kinks</p> <p><span style="color: #3366ff;">(S)he's a walking contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction</span> - Kris Kristofferson</p>
      May 29, 2011 6:51 PM BST
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  • Moderator
    121

    Hi Mellie,


     


    Yes Mandy is very lucky to have an SO like me


    And that is not meant in a "YAY MEEEEEEEEEEE! Big me up!" way either


     


    Makes me sad that I am of such a rare breed  :(

    E-J XX
      May 30, 2011 6:43 PM BST
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  • Emma,

     

    I suspct that the link was dropped in the ensuing 5 months.

     

     

     

    I Googled it and got this link:

     

     

     

    http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/msg13942.html

    Not Found

    The do***ent you were looking for was not found.

    Leading to: ""

     

    So try the Google page:

    http://www.google.com/search?q=%22Dear+Dr.+Ovlowska%2C+Help!+I+just+found+out+...%22&hl=en&num=10&lr=&ft=i&cr=&safe=images&tbs=

     

    Which gave me the entire article.  Enjoy.

    "A live lived in fear is a life half-lived." - Native American proverb. "Inside every man is a woman who was drowned in testosterone before birth". - Wendy Jeanette Larsen "It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you're not." - Andre Gide (French writer)
    This post was edited by wendy larsen at May 31, 2011 10:44 AM BST
      May 31, 2011 10:40 AM BST
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  • Moderator
    121

    Thank you ever so much Wendy (long time no see!) 


     


    Sound advice from Dr. Ovlowska Laughing

    E-J XX
      May 31, 2011 6:59 PM BST
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  • So her eis my experance - when i was 22 i was in stealth completly - hay i was close protection operative , and i ran a security company. I ended up one night breaking down in tears to the Women i was livign with and loved more than life and she supported me as Danielle - in a sort of unisex mode in public and pure girl mode at home we used to shop together and in the main life was good.


     


    Then my daughter was born and then things totally changed she left me 3 weeks later telling me she needed a proper man as a dad for her child - the irony was the reason i had not taken hormones or gone further than just seeing a theropist along the GRS route was because she made me promise first we would have a child then she would support me.


     


    After she left me - i cut my wrists open and swolled a load of tablets as i didnt want to live without her - my neighbour hurd me crying and came in saw the scean and then called 999 anyway i ended up in thounton acute services under observation for 2 months and being assesed etc. 


     


    So then about 5 years later back as aguy living with my folks well aguy on the surfice - i met somone eventually i told her about me she was thats fine - we got married things were fine for 18 months but then i started encouraged by her to dress and i went full time my employer was fine i was under a doctors i was taking hormones - and then one day i started passing and people thought we were lesbions - then she wouldent walk with me - she wouldent be scean with me - her church started praying for me saying i was possed by demons etc.... and so the story goes on being with GG's for me has nearly distroyed me

      June 6, 2011 7:22 PM BST
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  • Moderator
    121

    Oh Rebecca  Cry Cry Cry thats awfull.


     


     


    You know that not all GGs are nasty,conniving(sp?) bitches.


     


    Both of those GG relationships you had were as partners?


     


    The first one had her own agenda anyway I believe?


    The second one had no clue whatsoever about Transgender issues. It was all very well for her to say "yes thats fine" without actually talking to you properly about it and doing some research herself.


     


    Its a real shame that you haven't met the right person who will support you on your journey.


    Your support network doesn't actually have to involve a GG or even a partner at the moment.  Support can come from anywhere. Your initial (very good) support network may begin here.


     


    Love loves from me


     


     

    E-J XX
      June 8, 2011 6:40 PM BST
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