Well...

Today is the day when this old member of the Finnish Sauna Society will appear there at the sauna for the first time as a woman...accompanied by my daughter. Monday is the ladies day and no swimming suits are allowed. I´m slightly nervous, but not much. After my 4 visits in the public swimming halls, I know that I pass, with or without cloths. And I have my daughter there as my support.

Laura

Tiina

Luckily gentlemen and ladies have different weekdays and if some gents would remember me, they will not be there today.
So, also the sauna lobby cafe is there only for ladies today.
On friday I bought a giant bright colourful beach towel to wrap myself in for the cafeteria. And it will be good for the Pärnu beach later on in the summer.

Laura

Sure Tiina

My favourite sauna of them all is the "Louhi", the smoke sauna with a half ton oven which they heat up half a day. A tiny drop of water gives the "breath of the deep hell". In no other sauna I feel like tiny needles on my back.
It is an exclusive society all right. You can only become a member, if you are recommended by two old members. And they take only a very limited number of members each year.
When I throw the water on the stove I think of you Tiina.

Laura

Oh it was NICE. The ladies asked us: "Hey girls, who is your hostess, cause you seem to be guests both of you?". I said that I´m a member, but have not been around since two years. The society is really small and the women know each other. Well, anyway, now they know me and Emma, too. The sauna behaviour patterns returned slowly into my mind as when you enter or leave the sauna you are supposed to ask if you should throw water on the stove. Normally they agree and thank.
Emma even had a short swim in the sea (temperature -1). I was just watching and enjoyed the warm afternoon sun on the pier.

Laura

Tiina

One club I had to leave because of my changing sex was the student corporation Vironia, where I had been a member since 1975. I sent them a letter explaining why I must leave and they answered equally politely and friendly and welcomed me back "in the case I change my mind". Hehe....

Laura

Yes, I feel I have kind of won my world back, step by step. I have again full rights on different sectors of life.
Besides, I have a brand new boyfriend, who lives close to me and accepts me completely with my past. And he is a real gentleman.

Laura

The correct body, a new boyfriend and back in the sauna - your life must be complete!
Seriously Laura, your story really is an inspiration to us all, especially me. I think I will tell my father a little about you as he has no idea how things will ever "work out" for me.
Going to the sauna may just be a little thing, but winning your world back is a big one. I do hope you will continue to share these things with us.
xx

i was lying in bed last night thinking, i shouldn't have said 'little' thing...
i meant more of an everyday thing, as opposed to say, having sexual reassignment surgery.
some things we do often and some things are life-changing, immense turning points in our lives, but they all matter, and i think laura got across very well how important it was to her to get back into the sauna, and what it signified.
i don't do saunas, but some things i know i will lose for a while during my transition, and some things i've never really had. i look forward to winning those over.
xx