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should I be flattered?

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  • Girls, I had quite an "exciting adventure" on Tuesday. I was out in my car for a relaxing drive through the Dorset (UK) countryside and ended up being chased through the narrow lanes by an amorous male for about 11 miles! before he gave up!!

    Maybe he thought I was of dubious reputation as I'd been putting on bright lipstick and titivating my hair in a car park at a local beauty spot! He was parked nearby and followed me out when I left. The "chase" was on!

    Needless to say being a "good" girl I didn't stop to find out his intentions and he couldn't overtake me on the narrow roads!

    Should I be flattered??

    At times I was really nervous and understood how a gg might feel under the circs. Luckily I had my cellphone with me, but out in the sticks they sometimes don't work.
      April 14, 2005 11:38 AM BST
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  • Jan,
    It sounds like rock climbing without a rope. Very exciting but very dangerous. Still, I think you can accept a "flattered" for getting a man's interest. You certainly got him to "pursue" you. Maybe you should add a pepper spray to your purse.
    "A live lived in fear is a life half-lived." - Native American proverb. "Inside every man is a woman who was drowned in testosterone before birth". - Wendy Jeanette Larsen "It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you're not." - Andre Gide (French writer)
      April 14, 2005 7:16 PM BST
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  • Hi Jan,

    Don't be flattered by this act of stalking. I was very dangerous and you did the right thing. It was also good that you had some way to contact help. If you absolutely had to stop your car (he had ran into the back of your car) keep the windows up, doors locked and call for help. You could use pepper spray and is good if you do not have other choices, however this would mean that you would be in direct contact with your potential attacker. Also any weapon that you have could also be used against you. I have a black belt (sense) in two forms of martial arts and train my students this same thing. The stages of martial arts are prevention, avoidance, escape these are the most important. If forced into a corner and trained then stand and fight until you can escape or take control of your attacker.

    Your feelings are exactly what any girl would have done, be afraid. Women are afraid most of the time in a male dominated world because they can be abused at any time. In reality this is not true all of the time but that does not change the reasons for felling afraid.

    Taking on the persona of female we place ourselves in exactly the same position of any woman in society.

    I hope that I have been able to help.

    Sincerely,
    Rebecca Chesnutt
    Always Protect your child within.
      April 17, 2005 12:40 AM BST
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  • Rebecca and Wendy,

    Thanks for your comments and advice - it's good to have. I will bear it mind.

    I was excited and afraid. Over here in the UK, stalking has only recently been considered a serious crime. A friend of mine who is 85 was "stalked" by her ex-husband for over 30 years! This started after she divorced him, through her second marriage and on. I was at her flat when he called a few years ago and wanted to get in. When we complained to the police they said "what harm could an old man like that do?" I was a "man" then but was quite scared - I hate any form fo physical confrontation. I try to outwit them instead or walk away!

    Just shows that being a victim is a "crime" and not to be taken seriously. There's a lot more of course. Sorry I digress but always " be careful out there"!

    Again thanks a million and always watch out, we girls can be so vulnerable.
      April 17, 2005 10:39 PM BST
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  • Jan

    That must must have been quite scarry but I suspect a little stimulating at the same time. What I have on my mind is the subject of having men fancy us while out dressed. Yesterday I went out for a walk to a local beauty spot. I walked out amongst the families and couples without being 'read' and I was feeling really good. I must admit I looked very distinctive with my long hair and dark glasses, pink top and black skirt (rock chic look). When I returned to the car park out of the corner of my eye I caught a bloke sat in his car and it was like he was transfixed by me. I felt a little scared by this man and his look but also stimulated (my heart was racing). At the time I thought he is thinking tranny but later once I started thinking about it (and perhaps I flatter myself) I started contemplating the possibility that this bloke was lusting after me. I really don't know what he was really thinking but I loved my walk.

    Hugs

    Philippa
      May 1, 2005 9:06 AM BST
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