gay males?

  • I do actually know somone, we worked alongside in Germany, She met a nice young bloke, very succesful, she was extremely pretty and totally convincing, they got together, him in the full knowledge she was going for surgery, she gave up her job, they bought a house together, She dumped us and went stealth, they got married, she had surgery, he lost interest in her regarding the sexual side of things, got caught with another pre-op, now moved in with her, divorce pending. How sad is that, seems he even tried to persuade her to forgo surgery.

    Cristine Jennifer Shye.  B/L.  B/Acc
      October 22, 2009 10:01 PM BST
  • I have heard several stories of guys desiring pre-ops and then dumping them when there was too much talk about surgery. How true those stories are, I don't know. But I would call those guys gay, probably closet gays or gays in denial. Having sex with a pre-op makes it hetero in their minds, therefore making it OK.

    I also have a "TS" friend, and I will use that label extremely loosely, but she is partners with another TS gal, both pre-op. Whenever there is the least bit of talk from anyone mentioning SRS, she goes off the wall saying how that person is just so wrong and you just don't really need that, blah blah blah. Personally I think she is actually gay.

    Actually I feel sorry for the pre-op TS gal because there is absolutely no reason she should not be able to have a loving relationship. I'm sure some do and God bless them. Then of course there are others such as myself and Nikki who remain married and committed to our wives. So I guess the burden is really more on the guy, does he want the bits or not, lol.

      October 22, 2009 8:59 PM BST
  • Oooh I like that one!

    I've actually had several guys confess that yes, a pre op is attractive to them while a post op isn't. Is it a latent gay attitude in them? Some of them have no idea actually, they just know that they find these particular girls sexually attractive. Why not? Who cares what label someone needs to stick on them because of it. It's possible that they like pre-ops simply because of the idea of a third gender is appealing, why have male or female when you can have both?

    My only concern for these guys is that you could have a nice friendly (or more) relationship with them, but then the minute you are post op they aren't interested in you. Why not? It's still the same person. That, to me, is just shallow. It also goes to show them that whatever they might think or feel, like it or not, there's a distinct attraction to the penis there, which subsides when it's gone.

    What would that make them in your book?

    Every woman is beautiful, some show it with their faces, others show it with their hearts.
      October 22, 2009 8:09 PM BST
  • Now the killer question.

    We with GID know how we feel in relationships regarding men. (not GAY) How do the admirers see themselves??????????
    especially if they indulge in sexual relationships with pre-ops? taking into account the TS/TG has a gender recognition cerificate and whos status in the eyes of the law is female.

    Or perhaps, even relationships of the same order with CD's and TV's, do they view the participant as female, and why do some of them have an obsession with giving oral sex or even require reciprocal anal intercourse?

    Crissie (being obtuse and controversial)
    Cristine Jennifer Shye.  B/L.  B/Acc
      October 22, 2009 6:59 PM BST
  • Marsha,

    Thank you for that great Bible verse that you posted as one of your signatures! It is really helpful.

      October 21, 2009 3:31 AM BST
  • Maybe it is because I have been married for 31 years and remain married to my wonderful wife that causes me to have a hard time answering questions like this one. My wife is my companion and I don't think gender even comes into play. Am I lesbian? I would have to say no and also say no to gay. In my younger life I did what society expected of me by marrying a woman and having a family. I thank God daily for the woman I married. Now that I live my life as Marsha I have become celibate. Rather than focusing on the what ifs, I focus on my relationship with my wife. I don't think life has to be sexual.

    I agree with what Cristine has said here. If you were truly born as a male with GID, then you could not be gay. A relationship with another male would have to be considered normal. Theoretically if the born male with GID liked women, that would make him/her lesbian, but I believe societal expectations have a far greater influence and in the end label this relationship normal, reinforcing their beliefs how you should behave, basically brainwashing you.

    Nobody really separated TG, TV/CD, or TS and there is a huge difference when asking questions like this. Gay drag queens are gay and transgender and I can see TV/CD's going either way. I think it comes down to how you want your partner to view you. If you want your partner to see you as a guy, feminine or macho, then a relationship with a guy would have to be labeled gay.

    Cristine also brought up how others perceive you. I have literally told hundreds of people about me and it is amazing how many believe transgender is a form of homosexuality. I have been fortunate that my customers tend to be better educated and listen to what I have to say on the subject, but it is a real problem we face.


      October 19, 2009 11:34 PM BST
  • To quote myself from a recent post in another thread:

    "I've never been the most masculine person, in fact I think most people thought I was gay. (I've never been attracted to males and certainly never had any male/male experience nor ever wanted to, not that I think there's anything wrong for those lean that way. Just not my thing.)"

    That said, I've never bothered to tell others that directly. My friends have been guys, GGs, gays, lesbians and every other "label" you can think of. I've always (since before puberty) seen myself as more female than male, but I've always found females attractive and occasionally would date them. But for the most part, I was more interested in being one of them than dating them (to paraphrase a comment from a recent post from a "New Member" Sorry, I don't remember her name.)

    I've been hit on by gay guys many, many more times than I've asked girls out. I have no idea why they were interested in me - maybe testosterone based aesthetic mental blindness. I've had roommates that included my GG fiancee, a gay and a post-op TS.

    When I'm in Melody/femme mode, I do have some fantasies about males that could only be fulfilled if I had a female body (if you get my drift.)

    My two cents worth,
    <p><span style="color: #800080;">Girls will be boys and boys will be girls It's a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for Lola Lo-lo-lo-lo Lola</span> - Ray Davies, The Kinks</p> <p><span style="color: #3366ff;">(S)he's a walking contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction</span> - Kris Kristofferson</p>
      October 19, 2009 8:30 PM BST
  • I'll have another go, lol, to further confuse things.

    Surely to my way of thinking, if one suffers gender dysphoria, thinks like a female and is convinced they are or should be female, Then GAY does not enter into the equasion, it logically would be natural to be attracted to men. Hang on, I hav'nt finished, before some of you start hanging me out to dry. Like the last time I advocated this theory.

    That does not take into account the diversity of human nature, Irregardless of what gender you see yourself as, basically if you are a genuine TG and gender dysphoric, mentally assuming the identity of a woman, if you fancy men, per se, that would seem natural, if you fancy women, that would make you a lesbian. No sin either way.

    If your just a thrill seeking knicker wearer and identify as a man and seek the company of males for sex, then in my opinion that would make you gay. This is about how you percieve labels, not wether anything is wrong or right. Back to labels, not eveyone
    agrees with labeling, but they do help identify what we are, where would we be if they did'nt label tins, tubes and packets.... eating rollmops with custard cleaning our teeth with haemeroid cream lol.

    Now we go onto the perception of the all unknowing general public, in particular the ignoramus element of society, there is less of a phobia about being gay or a lesbian than being a transgendered person usually being seen as a weirdo gay that wears dresses, this is also the general idea of how gay men see us. Coming out once to a gay guy when I was younger and he discovered I was wearing knickers, holdups and a bra under my ambiguous outer wear, said ''FFS if I wanted to shag somone in frilly knickers I would be chasing girls''

    And I note Penny's point, why do so many men lose interest when they discover a TG/TS is post op.

    What am I? happy living and loving a who rather than a what.

    Cristine Jennifer Shye.  B/L.  B/Acc
      October 19, 2009 7:07 PM BST
  • I feel similar to Nikki regarding men. I wasn't attracted to men at all for a big part of my life (although i had some sexual encounters when young). But now that I can express my femininity a lot more... my feelings have changed slightly. Having a man treat me like a lady feels good, and sexually, they can give me something I won't get from girls. But I still do not have sexual fantasies with particular actors/stars...
      October 19, 2009 6:31 PM BST
  • For a while I thought I was gay, and was quite concerned about it, but soon realized that I wasn't attracted to men. I have one very good male friend, and I hang out and do a lot of stuff with him, but I have never, ever felt anything beyond the strongest bonds of friendship for him. I also have not yet come out to him, which I should do at some point.
      October 19, 2009 2:35 PM BST
  • I think what Michelle wrote best expresses my feelings as well. I have always been attracted to women. Only once did I ever feel attracted to a man - and never acted on it. it was a brief blip on the radar for me. Whereas the female thoutghts dominate me the most, making me feel a lesbian in a man's body.
    A Smile Goes A Long Way
      March 15, 2009 9:32 PM GMT
  • Hiya,

    It was all terribly confusing for me in my younger years. Knowing my sexuality and the male body I had, I struggled because I knew the "Gay" thing wasn’t "My" thing. However, now I have finally accepted my femininity and come to terms with being a trans woman, my sexuality now makes sense. I consider myself to be a heterosexual woman in a male body.

    I find it distressing when I am approached and a typical comment "You're attractive, I would love to suck you off" is made because it makes me feel perceived as a gay man in a dress and not the woman i wish to be treated with respect as. I feel being post op would solve this for me.

    That’s my situation and I hope it added a little insight in how different people live different lives. I wish you all the best and many times of happiness in your journey of self-discovery.

    Just an ordinary girl finding her way in this strange life. - What will it take to get everyone to realise that everyone else is also a human being that deserves just as much respect? - How does someone tell their doctor they have hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia? - When I was a student I specialised in Alcopology. It always starts with Alco and always ends with pology. - Waiter! There's a hare in my rabbit pie!
      March 14, 2009 2:32 PM GMT
  • I have never considered myself as gay, from an early age, believing i was different, even before understanding the term GAY, a female with the wrong genitalia. But, have dated and slept with quite a few men, to basically convince myself I was attractive and desirable as a female and enjoyed the attention and acceptance it gave me. Odd occasion I woke up in the morning disgusted and feeling what am I doing syndrome, that usually did'nt last to long.
    Cristine Jennifer Shye.  B/L.  B/Acc
      March 14, 2009 8:41 AM GMT
  • I must admit that after coming out and being myself, there was a definate change in my attitudes towards men. Initially I was not attracted to them, but that changed and now I just accept it. If someone finds you attractive and treats you like a lady, what's not to like?

    Every woman is beautiful, some show it with their faces, others show it with their hearts.
      March 14, 2009 8:28 AM GMT
  • 96
    I`ve never thought of myself as a gay male. I`ve always considered myself as a lesbien trapped in a man`s body.I`ve never been attracted to men and never will be.
      March 10, 2009 4:38 PM GMT
  • I totally agree girl I've never been with a man but a girl can fantasize, I'm very curious to be the girl with a cute guy
    Love the feeling of letting the girl in me out
      March 10, 2009 2:35 PM GMT
  • well thank god there are women who like men on here! lol. I agree, I love the way a man treats a girl, i want to be that girl !
      March 1, 2006 4:40 PM GMT
  • There were times I questioned myself about this, and each time the answer was "No." I did not consider myself to be a gay man. All I knew was I wanted to dress, and be, like a girl and live my life accordingly. This does not mean I never considered it, nor had fantasies. I just never seriously acted on it.

    Did that make me bi-curious? Maybe, and some would argue so. All of my relationships were with women. So with my impending transitioning does that make me a lesbian?

    We've discussed this issue before. I think it is important, especially as those of us who are coming out have to answer these questions to our friends and family.

    To be honest, right now I'm not considering myself straight, gay or bi. I just want those men to stop pestering me on the train!
    You can get anything you want at Alice's restaurant.
      March 1, 2006 2:59 PM GMT
  • I never even growing up dressing thought i was gay. I am very bisexual, but it doesn't have anything to do with me being TS.. but I had never considered myself a gay male.
    Males are fun at times, but i still prefeer being with females and other TS's


      March 1, 2006 11:40 AM GMT
  • 2625
    I thought I had to be since I liked wearing girls clothes. I believed only gay guys wore dresses so adding 2+2 I must be gay. But I was & am so attracted to women & the thought of being with a man does not turn me on. I know I'm not gay just a CD, TG.
    <p>Karen Brad</p>
      March 1, 2006 10:53 AM GMT
  • I am just wondering if any girl had thought that they were gay male at one point in their life? I thought i was a homosexual male but in the past few years, I have really started to just want to be a girl. I am 22 now.

      March 1, 2006 2:36 AM GMT