gay males?

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  • Hi Cristine,

    "never understanding why some would insist they were Gender dysphoric yet always having to back this up by saying they were not gay, but straight and hetrosexual preffering natal born females. Which to me was a conflict of definition."

    I think I can address that one. I haven't come out to a lot of folks, but the first few times I told someone I was a tranny their immediate reaction invariably was, "Oh, I always thought you were gay!" After than happens to you a couple of times it becomes a kneejerk reaction to follow "I'm a transvestite" with "but I'm not gay." I certainly never gave as much thought to saying or writing it, as I have after reading this thread...

    I never said anything about natal born females. At one point many years ago I lived with a post-op transsexual. We used to argue about who got to wear the LBD.

    As to your and Cassandra's relationship, it crosses over the boundaries of so many categories, it would be silly to try and fit it in any single one. Glad you found your special person.


    ps, Penny, I didn't see your post as a digression and totally agreed with what you said.
    <p><span style="color: #800080;">Girls will be boys and boys will be girls It's a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for Lola Lo-lo-lo-lo Lola</span> - Ray Davies, The Kinks</p> <p><span style="color: #3366ff;">(S)he's a walking contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction</span> - Kris Kristofferson</p>
      November 16, 2009 4:18 PM GMT
  • This thread, the responses, the considered and honest well thought out and openess is what make Trannyweb so worthwhile.
    Perhaps some so called gender councellors should read what some of the girls have written. They would get such a genuine insight as to what wonderful people Trannies are. Might I mention it should be compulsory reading for some of the knuckle dragging, biggoted, moronic troglodytes we come accross in everyday life.

    Love you all heaps Cristine xxXxx
    Cristine Jennifer Shye.  B/L.  B/Acc
      November 22, 2009 8:59 PM GMT
  • What is a practicing homosexual? is that in line with being a learner driver? does one have to pass a test to become a none practicing homosexual? ie, achieving a rating? bit like practicing lawyers and doctors, FFS if I want a doctor or a lawyer, I want one thats acomplished, not practicing, same with some of the men I have known, in the biblical sense, most of which definately needed more practice, lol. Most men go for a pint and a curry afterwards, gays tend to have a bucks fizz and go for a mince in the park. This thread is recommended for newbies, lol

    xxX Obtuse & SarcasticXxx

    Remember the ultimate sadistic act, is when the Sadist says to the masochist ''I AM NOT GOING TO SPANK YOU''
    Cristine Jennifer Shye.  B/L.  B/Acc
      December 19, 2009 12:02 AM GMT
  • What is a practicing homosexual? is that in line with being a learner driver? does one have to pass a test to become a none practicing

    Cristine, I'm thinking they do have to pass a test. I believe after they practice enough they can then take the ORAL exam.
      December 19, 2009 1:07 AM GMT
  • Reading back, we are all agreed, we are not gay men in frocks. regardless of sexual preferences, But as long as the majority see us in that way, how come someone at the BBC was astute enough to seperate gender from sexual orientation, but only after our exclusion had been complained about. Thinking logically, from the BBC's view and Pennys post, it obvious that lots of people regard us as gay, So should'nt we have been included anyway even if other people here want to seperate gender and sexual orientation. Anyway you can still post in the BBC forum, to raise awareness of how we feel about the gay l;abel, might be the only chance you get to educate some. ''I did'nt know you were gay as well, but personally I'm not attracted to effeminate men'' Ever heard that, or as a gay once said to me. ''If I wanted to shag someone in womens underwear I would be going for RG's''


    Cristine Jennifer Shye.  B/L.  B/Acc
    This post was edited by Cristine Jennifer Shye. BL at June 11, 2016 9:04 AM BST
      February 10, 2010 3:37 PM GMT
  • Interestingly enough the people of Thailand, the SRS/GRS capital of the world, consider transsexuals as gay. That is the word straight from my Thai stepmother. Do realize they don't see gay people as being a problem.

    You can probably legitimately ask how do you define a gay or straight transsexual. I'm married and my wife is not a lesbian, so what does that make me? Likely asexual as it stands now and I would not be surprised if many TS gals ultimately become asexual. I know a family friend who is TS and considers herself asexual as well. Then look at it this way, you have all these people who seemingly believe they need to know what everyone else is doing in their bedrooms. What are they to think when you say you are asexual? But, but, but, but you have to like one or the other.

    People like it simple, black & white, yes & no, this or that, gay or straight. That was the point I was trying to make in the BBC thread. Most people don't want to know the details and therefore erroneously try to simplify everything which in most minds is gay or straight. And straight doesn't mean what someone says they are, it means are they like themselves, and if anything is different, then it is gay. The BBC Head of Diversity seemed to understand the difference and established a survey based on that understanding. Therefore it is obvious some do pay attention. The question that really needs to be asked is "How did you come to understand what you now know about transgender? Instead of it being everyone needs to learn from us the realities of being TG, maybe we need to shutup and listen to those who do understand the difference.

      February 10, 2010 7:22 PM GMT
  • Well I guess its time to put my 2 cents into this discussion then..........
    Yes I have dated a few t-girls & no it does not matter to me if they are pre-op or post-op, its not the body that you fall in love with its the complete package which includes the personality & mind too. As to what goes on in the bedroom well.....that is between the 2 people involved & so what...., if you are asked to perform certain acts it does not change you as the person you are!

    I do not consider myself to be gay at all or my partner to be gay, infact to me there will soon be recognised 3 genders & nature adapts to have people born who desire those genders. I can say that to me I feel that I was born to appreciate the female form in whichever form it is in whether gg or tg......

    Not to borrow the strength of another, nor to rely on one's own strength; to cut off past and future thoughts, and not to live within the everyday mind... then the Great Way is right before your eyes. - Yamamoto Tsunetomo
      February 10, 2010 7:33 PM GMT
  • Good points everyone. Heres my opinion…

    I wish to discuss some points Marsha raised regarding "people like it simple" and that may be the case but people dont always get what they want and the big LBG and T thing is not simple at all. That is why it is the BBCs responsibility to bring this education to peoples telly programming and the only way they can do that is to include the big and whole picture.

    I think Thailand’s perception that transsexuals are gay is in error, for example, take a trans woman who has undergone srs and living with a man. When discussing sexual intimacies with friends, if she were to say she was gay it would be very confusing and probably cause more difficulties for her friends. They would probably be thinking, if she is gay then why is she with a man? I don’t think many TS go round with an advertising sign above their head saying they are TS.

    Its not about having a stigma towards being gay, as I understand some might think we see ourselves as women because we cant accept that we are gay. On the contrary, I would be happy to be called gay if it accurately describes my sexuality from the point of view that I am a woman. To stop you from wondering lol, I consider myself bisexual as I plan to enjoy both male and females, after SRS of course.

    Last comment of thought. It seems to me that this debate on whether T should be included in LGB or not is fairly mute when it comes to the bigger picture. The message going out to people should be to respect each other and their liberty and freedom regardless of their skin colour, sexuality, gender, religion and so on. For me, that’s the whole picture and if everyone could respect everyone then that would end these difficulties. It also strikes me, that it tends to be young adults, who have committed the hate crimes against me. I would say education in schools needs to do a better job. I recall my mum saying she wanted me to be innocent for as long as she could, thanks a bunch, you kept me naive and stupid longer than I should have been.

    Ok, that’s my ramble lol, hope it wasn’t too tasking.

    Just an ordinary girl finding her way in this strange life. - What will it take to get everyone to realise that everyone else is also a human being that deserves just as much respect? - How does someone tell their doctor they have hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia? - When I was a student I specialised in Alcopology. It always starts with Alco and always ends with pology. - Waiter! There's a hare in my rabbit pie!
      February 10, 2010 9:22 PM GMT
  • I've never had any sexual inclination towards other men.
    I just prefer dressing as and looking as feminine as I possibly can.
    This was a bit of a problem when I was growing up especially with
    my father as Scotland was (and still is) a very macho dominated
    country and any boy who wore dresses and skirts was immediately
    labelled "a poof".
      February 10, 2010 11:10 PM GMT
  • Penny you can argue all you want about my comment on people want it simple. You say people don't always get what they want. You are really missing the point then because the people you are trying to get to are not going to sit there and listen word for word what is being said about sexuality on a show like that. They will either change the channel or turn the thing off. You cannot force them to hear what they don't want to hear. All a show like that does is preach to the choir. You bet they can put the T back in and you can feel good about yourself. I'm glad somebody does, just too bad it doesn't make a hill of beans difference.
      February 10, 2010 11:36 PM GMT
  • How frustrating! I'm not sure whats more frustrating! The fact that what you've said is right or the fact that you are right! LOL!
    Lots of Love
    Just an ordinary girl finding her way in this strange life. - What will it take to get everyone to realise that everyone else is also a human being that deserves just as much respect? - How does someone tell their doctor they have hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia? - When I was a student I specialised in Alcopology. It always starts with Alco and always ends with pology. - Waiter! There's a hare in my rabbit pie!
      February 11, 2010 5:46 PM GMT
  • Penny I truly wish I wasn't. You present a wonderful concept that hopefully someday in our lives will come to be. I don't like being negative on stuff like this. And I worry it makes me look bad to gays and lesbians which in reality makeup the bulk of my friends. My belief is we have to start where we are now and work forwards. I feel what happens on issues like this is we often think in terms of the goals we have and honestly like so many other things now in our societies, we want instant gratification.

    I think everyone agrees it comes down to educating society. The stumbling block is how to best do it. My way is by setting a good example. It is definitely a slow way, but I believe it is the way society learns when they don't want to hear about it. My success coming out to my customers was because I did it in person, one on one. I don't believe if I mailed a flier to them or even called them on the phone, it would have worked out so well.


      February 11, 2010 8:01 PM GMT
  • When I was a child, I was confused with differences in terms like sissy (which I secretly identified with) and queer. I thought they had the same meaning. Even though I had many male friends, I wasn’t attracted to any of them physically. I always had a feminine look and although I was good in sports, the ‘greaser’ type guys always told me I had the Kooties and wanted to fight me all the time. I didn't know where I fit into the equation, but knew I was different.

    Also, many men of my father’s age assumed I was a queer and my own dad would even give me a hard time - even though I learned to act convincingly male. Interestingly, if there is such a thing as ‘gaydar’, I’ve never been ‘hit on’ by gay men while in male attire – so I assume they either sense I’m straight, or perhaps my male appearance is too feminine for their taste and they sense I’m TG. I suppose their lack of interest verifies I'm not gay

    On the other hand, attending TG friendly venues, I’ve been pursued by Trannie Chasers many times. Unfortunately, their approaches have been too rude to consider, otherwise, I believe I’d enjoy being wined and dined and spun around on a dance floor by a gentleman - perhaps even being held and sharing a kiss. However, I probably wouldn't consider a physical relationship because I love the sensuality of being with women. Also, I don't particularily enjoy the smell of men.

      February 12, 2010 9:35 AM GMT
  • I'm very similar to you, Jamie. Yes, I've thought i was a gay male, i still do i suppose although it's got a little complicated lately. I've always been attracted to men, but it's only in the last 3 years that i started dressing. I went though a stage where i was just a gay guy with a nylon fetish, i honestly never thought of wearing the nylon myself. As stupid as that may sound. It wasn't until a guy i started seeing asked me to dress for him that i became hooked.

    I do still go out as a gay male every now and then. But only as a social thing as the gay guys i socialise with think dressing is weird.
      August 16, 2010 5:09 PM BST
  • Nice to see this thread still going, some very astute and honest postings. I still maintain the BBC should have incorporated the views of the TS community, as sexual orientation either way is relevant, my explanation, of perceived gay or straight and its connotations and misconceptions.
    Cristine Jennifer Shye.  B/L.  B/Acc
      August 16, 2010 7:35 PM BST
  • Ive been cross dressing since I was 9. Never attracted to men,always women. My cross dressing blossomed as I grew up,when I moved out of the house and got my own apt at 18, I x dressed daily. Love everything en femme For me at first it was mommies nylons. I would try a pair on on the bathroom and rub my legs together until I got so excited that I would cum. It was such a wonderful feeling so i would do it again and again. Eventually progressed to wearing slips, girdles,bras and dresses.
    what is the best way to prevent runs in my nylons
    2: dont wear really sheer pantyhose 10 denier
      August 16, 2010 10:37 PM BST
  • I know I'm just starting posts around here, but couldn't really pass up an opportune moment for some philosophy.

    Everyone loves the little boxes that they can fit people into (gay, straight, bi) or if they're actually trying to be a little more open, that sliding scale from gay to straight where everyone can fit on a notch.
    Probably how in the same way they've got those little boxes to put people's gender in too.

    One of my first relationships was with an FTM, where does that fall in the little boxes? I've found that more and more its not important what's between their legs unless that's all they define themselves as (in which case, probably not interested), and its not even so important what clothes they wear. I'm attracted to people. Some people anyways, not all people, because at the end of the day, isn't that what's important?
      August 21, 2010 10:44 AM BST
  • This post really reminds me of myself because I was always attracted to girls throughout my life (middle school and on) but I dated guys that I felt close to because I felt like I "had to" since it was the "right thing" as a christian. I was from a christian family. The one guy I ended up ever having real feelings and an actual attraction for actually turned out to be a homosexual man. I am a transgender (ftm) but haven't gotten any surgery as of yet. The one guy I liked said he wouldn't date a transman though.. Still, that was the only case I could ever see myself with a guy happily. I like to consider myself a 99% straight male because of him lol.

    This post was edited by Kris McKinley at June 9, 2016 6:36 PM BST
      May 21, 2016 8:58 AM BST
  • I came here because I wanted to read the latest post (Kris, thanks) and I got sucked into the whole entire thread. I'm definitely in Cristine's camp. Labels suck, but they are there so that we can explain things easier at the drop of a dime. If being transgender starts in the mind, if you feel like a woman and are attracted to men, you are straight, and if you feel like a man and are attracted to women, you are straight. Hence, if you feel like a woman and are attracted to women, you're a lesbian, and if you feel like a man and are attracted to men, you are gay. It's the biology and looking at it and working with it that might get one feeling confused, and then throw society's norms in the mix, a dash of religion, and people get even more messed up, feeling confused and guilty! But remember, it all starts in the mind...and there's nothing wrong with being gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, etc! It's natural, normal, and human.

    I'm a mostly straight cisgender woman. I have an ongoing joke that I am 20% lesbian because I love looking at beautiful women's bodies and would much rather pick up a Playboy or Penthouse magazine than a Playgirl--ew, gross! Even when I was an adolescent girl I would look at those magazines and...well...this is embarrassing...but I would you things with myself. I wouldn't be fantasizing about being WITH them...I was fantasizing about BEING them! Strange, I know.

    As far as dating a trans person, male or female, if I weren't married, I would totally be open to dating either sex. I've seen some very good looking trans men, so I'd be in a straight relationship...and perhaps I could explore my lesbian side with a drop dead gorgeous trans woman! (Although honestly, we'd probably end up being friends and not lovers. If only I were 50% lesbian...haha!) The biology--what's pre op or post op wouldn't matter...where there's a will there's a way! And what's wrong with just touching and cuddling? It's all about human contact and connection, anyway, right?

    If my husband were to tell me he's transgender tomorrow, and he wanted to stay with me, I wouldn't hesitate to stay. I'm sure that I would mourn his loss, mourn our sex life, but there's more to life than sex. As a cis woman, I feel that I don't need it, I've gone many year's stretch (at different times) being celibate...and I'm happy having sex with just me myself and I! (Okay now I'm blushing!)

    2 Interesting articles written by trans women,

    The Five Most Common Types of Transsexual Admirers:

    (Edit: the link doesn't show up properly, so do the following) Go to, click on Meeting and Loving a Transgender Woman, then click on The People Attracted to Transsexuals, then click on Transsexual Dating!

    How Society Shames Men Who Date Trans Women & How it Affects Our Lives (VERY INSPIRATIONAL AND A MUST-READ FOR ALL): This post was edited by Former Member at June 10, 2016 12:03 AM BST
      June 9, 2016 7:29 PM BST
  • This is the good part of having new members here, that spend the time to read through the forum threads & then find a new perspective offering a different insight to the topic. It can then revive the thread getting other members to re-read & update a previous post.


    My feelings about myself have not changed since joining here, talking to people in the chatrooms (yes that used to be a thing) and forging friendships with people I have been fortunate to meet & they have enriched both of us in the process.  I still know that it is a combination of looks, personality that attract me & it still does not matter if you are pre or post op, female or male. At the end of our lives we all grow old, looks fade but the bond you create through personality, discussions and you cannot help who you end up falling in love with

    Not to borrow the strength of another, nor to rely on one's own strength; to cut off past and future thoughts, and not to live within the everyday mind... then the Great Way is right before your eyes. - Yamamoto Tsunetomo
      June 10, 2016 12:29 AM BST
  • Lovely GG Lisa - So glad to hear you are enjoying all the posts and so am I lol. :) As far as your interests go, I've heard that's actually pretty normal to fantasize. In fact, my mom would always try to get me to believe that's why I looked at porn. I just wanted to be the girls in the porn, but of course that was not really the case at all. I'm also glad to hear if you were single, you believe you'd be willing to date trans because as I've said in the past, I've wished for more pansexuals in the world since losing the guy previously mentioned. 

      June 11, 2016 2:57 AM BST