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Why do we do what we do?

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  • Why do we do what we do?
    what drives us to become such an opposite? why do we go out dressed only at night, urged on by such a powerful force? why we are so socially unacceptable? is it our upbringing? chemical imbalances in the old grey matter? or, just the want to feel complete?
    my theory is at a young age the child finds an image to live to, identity is important! instead of a typically male identity ie father, uncle, the child seeks a female role model, someone who, in some way, helps us identify with the world and how people are viewed in it.
    i mean my earliest female role model was a first year teacher in middle school. i loved the way she looked, walked and spoke. weird ha. it started a journey that really has shaped me into, i feel, a better person.
    thats it , if you have a view please reply.
    if not just read and think?
    Why do I do what i do?



    Faye x
      October 13, 2006 9:14 PM BST
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  • A good question Faye. I can only speak for myself. I love the feel of women's clothes, I love being dressed as a woman. I identify with a concept called "woman-ness" or femininity despite being reasonably successful as a male. I can't say where it comes from.
      October 13, 2006 11:52 PM BST
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  • 2 2627
    Why do I do what I do? I don't realy know.
    The first thing I ever put on was a skirt I found in my sisters room. Evan though I had put it on over my pants I couldn't stop thinking about it. The next time I had a chance I dressed like I was a girl & right than I realy wished I was.
    It felt realy great to be wearing those clothes. It was the funnest thing I could do. That feeling never went away.
    <p>Karen Brad</p>
      October 14, 2006 2:11 PM BST
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  • I do it because from my earliest memories, about 4 or 5, a little girl guided me to it. I realized the little girl was me. It's ALWAYS been inside of me, always needed to be the one on the outside but couldn't. Her friend was Annette Funicello. A mousketeer. She tried to emulate her, do everything she did ,and look like her.
    That little girl grew up into a teenager and never seemed to grow past 17. She's easily friendly and just as easily hurt . But only but those she cares for. Why be this way? Haven't got a clue, it's just
    me....... oh well, do with what you got I guess........ jackie....
    remember to tell the special people in your life, just how much you care....
      October 14, 2006 6:18 PM BST
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  • thanks for replying girl. i hoped it would make someone think.
    my earliest encounter was aged seven. my class did the school nativity play. i was one of the 3 wise man but this play was way ahead of its time. Now, the wise men (according to my school!) wore coloured jersey dresses, apparently, when jesus was born, not the long robes from the bible!!!!! the type of school dress i wished i could wear every day.
    Yes i wore a blue jersey dress with navy blue tights and plimpsoles. (my god! Navy blue!)
    now this was my first time granted but i felt great. All the other boys fidgeted around and complained. me? i was admiring how i looked. i looked like a girl! i remember sitting on a chair, with my legs crossed like my teacher, when not on stage and grinned from ear to ear.
    I love wearing female clothes. i did then, do now.
    Keep asking?
    Faye x
    Faye x
      October 14, 2006 8:50 PM BST
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  • How unique I too was a wiseman as a child in a play a long long time ago. It was the greatest thing in the world at the time for me. Funny how we have achieved goddess status Prissy.
    Even the importunate ghosts of the dead were more alive in his imagination as they came flocking grayly in upon him, unaccountable, as the waves on the distant winter sea.
      October 15, 2006 5:57 AM BST
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  • I can't honestly say what it is with me, it's definately not because it's a complete opposite of my male side though, since I would do all the same things as Nikki as I do now. I just love being female, I love the clothes and I like the way it makes me feel about myself. I would much rather put a skirt on than a pair of jeans any day. I don't dislike my male self entirely, but I would much rather be female. I can't explain why.
    Every woman is beautiful, some show it with their faces, others show it with their hearts.
      October 15, 2006 9:22 PM BST
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  • Faye, dear--

    If I had and answer for that question, I could write a book.

    **grins**

    Actually, I have. Several, with a new one due out soon.

    **More seriously, now**

    For me, it's not a want. It's a need. It's past the "feels good" stage, or the sneaking out at night thing. I live as a woman most of my time, and that means down to the clothes. (I'm dressed right now, including bra and panties, and have make-up on. This is a normal part of my day.)

    Being Minako completes me--I have often said that I'm not a woman trapped in a man's body; instead, I'm a woman with spare parts.

    Here's a few articles I've written over the years on this line of thinking: http://www.sakuramina.com/id77.htm, http://www.sakuramina.com/id149.htm, http://www.sakuramina.com/id229.htm, and http://www.sakuramina.com/id271.htm. (There's tons more in the diaries, but these specifically deal with journey toward becoming a woman.)

    Luv 'n hugs,

    Mina Sakura

    Living as the woman I am!
      October 19, 2006 12:10 AM BST
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  • WOW! Minako, id love to write a book. i started to but i suppose it became too self analytical and made me realise that it was like a diary! so no awards for me.
    it comes and goes with me, sometimes it feels like a massive craving coming over me. i dress for maybe a week solid and then i stop. the cravings no longer appear. my hormones feel all over the place and i take huge risks, at work, home, everywhere! A huge part of me wants to look like a woman full time in that week or so and i just go with whatever mood i'm in.
    strange?
    or maybe others feel the same?
    will check out the links.
    Take care.
    Faye x
    Faye x
      October 21, 2006 5:45 PM BST
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  • Hi Faye,I guess I share most of those experiences related by the girls. Much like you I do remember being fixated with my latin teacher and how she used to dress, didn't help much with my latin though I do still remember nil desperandum with good reason. I remember as a child aged about 13 sneaking out of the house in the early hours of the morning so I could walk the streets in high heels and a skirt. I have never thought it was odd though, only different. I just don't understand why all men don't want to do it. Or perhaps I do. It is society with its mores, its strictures and diktats imposing conformity on people which in turn causes resentment, frustration, bitterness anger and hatred that is then enacted upon those of us who subvert the abominable absurdity of conformity simply by being true to ourselves and living more fulfilled and complete lives. It is society that differentiates and in a perverse way I'm glad it does for it brings us closer together. I have always thought myself lucky to be the way I am and that's with all the pain included, we are unique and as such we are blessed. Take care. Love xxx
    Porscha
      October 23, 2006 6:04 PM BST
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  • Why Do I do What I do? Is a good question. For me it the feeling I get when I get all dressed up and see how good I look as a female (girl, woman) I can Identify with my femenin self more that I can my normal self. Pluss there is such a strong pulll that I can't help but to dress like a girl. To quote a country music song " I like it , I love, and I want some more of it." Some of us just can't help our selves but become who we truly feel like we are.
      October 24, 2006 10:25 PM BST
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  • Dear God Girl You of all people know why we so called whats there names Do what we do DID WE or DID we NOT spend a whole DAY discussing Just what WE ARE..... Faye when I gave you my friendship I honestly thought that you were a kindered spirit... DONT YOU DARE WELTTCH ON ME listen YOU.. this is no time to be all ( OH I shouldent do this crap ) hey Hun YOU ARE WHOM YOU ARE I love and respect you as a Friend no matter What ...Susie Gray xxx
    Landings are harder in Heels..lol
      October 22, 2007 12:35 AM BST
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  • Hi Faye,

    For me its just about being myself the clothes dont matter to me very much, i have always wanted to be truly female and from a very early age hated the body i had, the main reason that i did nothing about it was pressure from my 2 older brothers who did their best to kick it out of me and make me a man and so i retreated into the psuedo male world i have been hiding in for so long. Now thankfully thing are much better but not good so i am trying my best to put everything right bit by bit.
    so to really answer your question why do i wear womens clothes then it has to do with trying to fit in and be accepted for who i am though i know it will take alot more than just clothes to do that.

    Sammi x
      October 27, 2007 9:08 PM BST
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  • hi all
    for me i just like the feel of womens clothes, and wish i could wear them all day, all week, it gives me a feeling like no other to put on my glad rags and feel the feminne side of me taking over, im happy with my male side and dont wish to change that.
    i just wish it was possible to be dressed fem all the time
    lol andi
      October 28, 2007 1:57 PM GMT
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  • I spent years analyzing the crap out of all this. It doesn't make it any easier or any different. Just surrender and be.
      October 28, 2007 3:24 PM GMT
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  • I think Robyn is quite right that anylizing this will drive you crazy so you're better off surrendering and accept who you are. There are those who don't like us who believe it is a choice, a bad choice, if they only new the hell we go through in our lives. As for need or want, wants are luxuries that you can live without, I don't think any of the gals who have made it this far are trying to fullfill wants. For various reasons we need this.
      October 28, 2007 5:34 PM GMT
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  • Because I'm happier this way.
    "A live lived in fear is a life half-lived." - Native American proverb. "Inside every man is a woman who was drowned in testosterone before birth". - Wendy Jeanette Larsen "It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you're not." - Andre Gide (French writer)
      October 29, 2007 1:43 AM GMT
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  • Hello Faye, I dress because it makes me feel a complete person
    interesting comment from Jackie about Annette Funicello, a local radio talk back show recently asked listeners who was their most influential star when they were growing up & Annette rated around half the male respondents, I wonder how many like Jacke & me were more in love with her as an ideal rather than just a very pretty girl
    love
    Terri
    Terri Ryan
      October 29, 2007 10:02 AM GMT
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  • 96
    I do it because it completes me as a person.I`ve felt female all my life and would wear female clothes 24/7 if it was`nt for the narrow minded society we life in.
      October 29, 2007 2:01 PM GMT
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  • Why do I do what I do?

    As Faye says, teachers are influential. At age 13 I dreamt of Miss Lovett (Technical Drawing), but not as the other boys dreamt, I didn't want to get inside her knickers, I wanted to borrow them (and her skirts, tops, shoes etc).

    As Catherine says, the feel of the clothes, the feeling of 'woman-ness'.

    As Karen says, the first time wearing female clothes. Not being able to stop thinking about it. It was wrong - but it felt so goood.

    As Nikki says, the way it makes me feel about myself. I take off the boring, bland, uncomfortable nasty things that I am forced to wear most of the time and put something nice on...it makes me feel better straight away.

    As Samantha H says, It helps me to indentify with my feminine 'self', although I'd struggle to tell you who my 'normal' self was.

    As Samantha S says, realising from an early age, the desire/need to be female. Almost unstoppable.

    As Andi says, it's a feeling like no other. Getting a standing ovation from a couple of hundred poeple in an audience for a good performance gives you a rush ( I know). I imagine drug taking gives you a rush ( I don't know). I can't imagine anything better than dressing...and the feeling I'd get if I could go 24/7?

    As Terri says, it's about completeness. I only feel the real me, I only feel even partly whole when I'm dressed.

    As Michelle says, it's about feeling obliged to fit in. To (for me) conform against my will. It's about wishing that society was more accepting of those that don't follow the norm. It's about wishing that what I do was accepted.

    As Kristin says, it's about how I feel, not so much how I dress. It really isn't what we wear that should make us feel good, it's about whether what we're wearing matches how we're feeling.

    Why do I do what I do?


    I don't know.
      March 4, 2008 11:37 AM GMT
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  • Because it's who I am.

    Nikki
    Every woman is beautiful, some show it with their faces, others show it with their hearts.
      March 4, 2008 1:07 PM GMT
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  • Why do I do what I do? Because this is how I am. Whether it was hereditary/genetic, or environment, or both, I have no idea. I just know I am Meredith.
    You can get anything you want at Alice's restaurant.
      March 4, 2008 1:27 PM GMT
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  • Faye,

    What Robyn said,
    "I spent years analyzing the crap out of all this. It doesn't make it any easier or any different. Just surrender and be."

    That pretty much nails it.

    Nicole
    Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night. -- Edgar Allan Poe
      March 10, 2008 5:09 AM GMT
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