It's an interesting thought Am I a fake? A girl masquerading as a boy, or a boy masquerading as a girl. I was born into a masculine household with four older brothers and yes, two younger sisters who I was supposed to protect, and would, with my life if necessary. So I was raised as a boy. Femininity wasn't prominent in my household, I was expected to be a man, and my strange ways have only ever been considered to be eccentricity on my part. So who am I fooling here? I know the answer to this question. I know who I am. But just how many I wonder have married and had children etc before they fully realised who they were? And does that make you a fake of one sort or another. Please tell me, I should be a man, I have no excuses and wouldn't dream of offering any.

It is very common for trans people to dive headfirst into masculine pursuit to sort of compensate socially. To try to "fit in." In the final analysis, though, what we're about isn't, in my view, nearly so much about gender as it is about identity. That this identity happens to be associated with one gender or another is secondary. You, like all of us, Porscha, are who you are, and whoever or whatever that is is very real.

While I agree with Barbara that we are entitled to our identity expression, it should be noted that in the larger social context, we do need to remain flexible, and be prepared to make compromises in the expression of identity, whatever form it takes.

Just as we ask that society be tolerant of us, we must also be sensitive to the fact that who we are as transgender people challenges the social "norm," and as such, we are not in a position to demand tolerance. To do so would be unfair. I don't think that we can make such a demand on "ordinary" people if we are not prepared to recognize that our expression occurs within an established social framework, not in a vacuum.

We'll get there eventually, but not necessarily on our own terms.

My 25 cents worth ('cause you can't get anything decent for 2 cents anymore):

Karen and Robyn are quite correct. We are all learning to be that which we desire to be--being yourself is doubly hard when you live as we do.

But the benefits, it seems to me, outweigh the problems that come up. Live your life as you see fit, dear. If you are true to yourself, you cannot be fake at all.

Luv 'n hugs,

Dr. Mina Sakura

Porscha,

To coin a phrase that came up in the dare i say it somking area out side the hotel in Atlanta this year at SCC.

You are what you are...
If you could stop thinking and worring about who and what you are; who would you be.

Just close your eyes and imagin yourself in the middle of a nice medow relaxing and happy..... for that is who you are.

Who you see yourself as is the important thing, so just try to be true to your self .......

I know this sounds a bit zen .....but try it any how i was suprised my self when the image kept repeating now it is my happy thought.

Love
Sara

Well Sara, you are not the only one to be found in the smoking area. Smoking being the barometer of my self-worth, my emotional crutch, a lonely girls only true friend. Still beautiful imaginings are a rule unto themselves. They drive us forward and compel us to pursue dreams that simply disappear into the ether. " The young have aspirations that never come to pass, the old have reminiscences of what never happened." I think a meadow is out of the question though being a hay-fever sufferer. I have my ways. Sometimes I'm happy, other times I am overwhelmed by dark thoughts. So which is the real me? I'm not a fake though. A fake is something that pertains to be what is isn't, and I have never done that. Never mind, blessed as I am , an incoherent thought, an ill-judged comment, an accident waiting to happen. Lots of interesting comments from everyone. All very positive, thankyou, thankyou,thankyou . . .

The smking area is possibly the best part of SCC. Whatever will we do next year when we have all quit smoking?

Robyn
Good question?????

I agree with Robyn. Your identity matters most.

That said, I often wonder whether I am a fake. I like to dress up in women's clothes from time to time. In secret. Does that make me a tranny? Does that make me a "girl" for the purposes of this site? What is feminine identity anyway?

I wish I knew why I wanted to dress up. Is it just an erotic sensation? Or a very deep desire to be like someone of the opposite sex? Earlier tonight I watched "The Thomas Crown Affair" and all my thoughts were for Faye Dunwaye: such long, slim legs, such a woman. So often I see women dressed as women and my desire is to be dressed the same way.

Your not faking, your learning. The hardest part of being yourself is knowing who you are. In our case thats made more difficult bt sharing both male & female traits.
Just follow your heart & be the person you feel yourself to be.
Theres nothing fake about that.

Interesting......I always feel I'm faking it by being my normal drab self since that isn't who I am. And yes, I am one of those people who married and had children before I was able to come to terms with who I was. Still married and very happy but I often wonder how it might have been had I resolved this earlier. As it stands now, I wouldn't have surgery because of my wife and children, although she knows that that is what I would have done had the opporunity presented itself.

Life is a compromise at times and I'm happy with the way my has turned out.

I always used to feel like a fake, and as such had little self-worth.
But I'm alright now, going full-time was a good move.
xx

“Whatever will we do next year when we have all quit smoking?”
Go fly with the pigs?

xx