dressed as the real you in public. I don't mean the first time you stood in front of the mirror, posed for a photo or sat on your porch. But the first time you went out for an extended period of time and exposed yourself to the public gaze. It is after all, a seminal moment in all our lives and one we are unlikely to forget. I will tell you about mine, though strictly speaking it wasn't the first time. When I was 14/15 I used to hide away clothes and shoes etc during the day and then in the early hours of the morning I used to get up, get dressed, sneak out the back door and walk around the block a few times when everyone else was still asleep. That was great fun if a little dangerous in hindsight.

My first time was an act of pure adrenaline. I just decided during the week that I was going out on saturday as Kimberley, which is my birth name anyway so that didn't take much imagination. I bought a copy of Time Out found what I thought was an appropriate venue, bought, stole and borrowed clothes and makeup from my sisters and girlfriends. I am very lucky in being slim, I weighed only 9st then, almost 10 now sadly, 5'6, with very small hands and feet. So finding things to fit me has never been a problem. It came to Saturday night, I had stashed everything into a sports bag, and simply picked it up said bye without telling anyone where I was going and caught the train into town. I remember I actually got changed in a toilet cubicle of a pub, which was bizaare because I could have got changed in the much safer environs of the club itself. But I wasn't thinking by then I was too excited. I didn't have a clue what I was doing and must have looked an absolute mess. Anyway I had a great night and everyone was very kind to me, perhaps out of sympathy. There was a downside however, I didn't leave the club until it closed which was 2 or 3 in the morning and I couldn't get home. There was a night bus but the bus driver drove straight past me ushering me to go round the corner. I had to take my shoes off because I couldn't run in heels, still can't, but by the time I got there he'd gone. So I had to spend the night huddled up against the entrance to New Bond Street Station which at least provided a little warmth. Being a Sunday the first tube train wasn't until 9am so it was a long night. But I didn't care really. I caught the train back dressed but got changed in a local park before I went home. Nobody asked me where I'd been. It was as if nothing had happened. I hope the style of writing here reflects the occassion. Because it did all literally pass in a flash. It is l believe the bravest thing I have ever done. And I almost certainly wouldn't do it now. But then youth knows no fear. I was 18 and probably looked no older than 15, as a boy anyway. Did I pass, I doubt it very much. But then I was young, had the innocence of an angel, and was as cute as a button - so maybe I did. It made me feel as if I had touched Heaven and even now I'm shaken by the thrill of it all. Now tell me about your first time, did you pass, how did you feel, what does it mean to you now?

The first time I went out to actually meet people dressed was January 2006. My bird at the time encouraged me because she found it really sexy, and of course my own secret desires pushed me. I did myself up and my icon pic is the result. Went to the local biker pub, yep we were bikers and that was our local haunt. Had a fab time, everyone said it suited me and I looked quite natural. I didnt have the courage to reply that it felt really natural and comforatble lol.

The landlady said I could use the ladies which I was quite relieved about lol. 2 lesbian girls were chatting with me on and off all night. These 2 showed quite an interest in me while my bird showed an interest in them lol. Anyway, I went to the ladies and on washing my hands the 2 lesbians entered and barackaded us in. We had long convos primarily on the subject on my knickers and them wanting to get them off!!! LOL My bird wasnt too far away so I had to be content with being a bit of a tease. Finally, my bird did come to my resuce. I am sure if she hadnt I would have only escaped by sacrificing my knickers as a distraction LOL.

My first time out dressed (in my previous life) was in 1998 at a venue called Les Femmes at Club XS in Sheffield (the club is still going, not sure about the event). I'd been egged-on by a bunch of online friends from a trannie chatroom, and in the end, I decided that it was a case of now-or-never... so off I toddled.

Of course in the days leading up to the event, I realised I didn't have much in the way of clothes, so went mad on a shopping spree at my local shopping arcade. I found no embarrassment in spending a fortune on Number 7 at Boots (yeah, I know) as well as buying a wig (although I bought something very inappropriate, a blonde bob wig)... and at the time, I was living with a girl who liked lycra - so that had the skirt sorted.

The hours leading up to the big night were nerve wracking even though I was going to be meeting people I knew (online). I de-camped in a tranny friendly hotel, got changed, stepped out... and never looked back.

Once I'd made that first step out, and realised the world didn't stop, it suddenly got a whole lot easier. It did, however, open the floodgates - and I suddenly found myself dressing nearly all the time (socially) and concentrating too much on that, and not the other things in life. But it was a great rush, and it'll be interesting if and when I do it again, how it compares.

I suspect the rush will always be there.

Oh and as for that blonde bobbed wig - I burned the thing the day after my debut!

K

You have a wonderfully understanding brother, Danique. That's a nice way to do it. It's so good to be with people you can trust. That reaction you got from people is fairly typical. We don't just test ourselves when we go out we also test other people. They find out a lot about themselves to. And you're right about the nerves. I don't think you ever forget the first time nerves. I remember feeling so sick on the train but then the excitement of it all just took over. But then I am someone who gets nervous just going to the shops, I'm in a state of absolute panic if I am having a night out. Great isn't it!

I wish I'd seen that M/a, not that I'm someone who laughs at another's misfortune, just yours, luv. But I don't think your telling us the whole truth here - just what were you on - thousands of deer! It's positively bizaare. Why am I not surprised lol

I'm sort of disappointed no one tried to pull my knickers off, maybe they did but I was too naive to realise ( still am ). But then you would never see me in a bikers pub!!!

As has been stated once that girl is released she cannot again be caged. Every day lived without her is one to be mourned and can only lead to frustration, despair and the most crushing disappointment.

My first time out in a PUBLIC place was a weekend in Manchester village with Vicky Bear and Debbie Campbell, thanx girls. I'd been walking in public before but only in very secluded place where there is very little chance of seeing anyone. I was far too excited to be nervous about venturering out. Vicky and I arrived quite late on the friday nite and after checking in the the hotel, having tea there was little time for anything else. Saturday morning we went over to the transformation shop so Vicky could catch up with the friends she'd made in the shop, i went in male mode, not knowing what to expect and felt right out of place. We came back to the hotel to chill a little before returning later as Vicky wanted her hair straightened, this time i made no mistake and got all dressed up. This felt much more ME (normal). The girl working there offered to also straighten my hair, i'd never had that done before and the difference was amazing that alone gave me SOO much confidence, which i didn't and still haven't got. she also just added a few touchs to my make up, bit of eyeliner and some more blusher as i recall but commented that it was a good job which really surprised me as i'd only really worn make up twice before that. Maybe they just say that to all the girls that come through. Anyway off out we went and the time just passed so quickly, got chatted up by an admirer, which made my chaporones laugh as i didn't know, thought he was just a friendly bloke. sadly before to long it was time to go back to the hotel but i didn't want it to end. Took loads of photos and texted my best friend to tell her all about the adventure and their starts another chapter as she mistakenly outted me.

Sorry to go on so long but i wanted to give a little feel for it to all the girls about to take that step, it is fantastic and i only wish i could do it every weekend. Who am i kidding???? EVERY DAY

Gab -xx-

Well Porscha
My first time going at as my true self occurred when I was 20.way back in1981.I woke up one day and just had what can only be described as a compulsion a compunction to go out enfemme .So by 9:30Am I had dressed in a smart casual way and was satisfied that I looked passable. I left the house and walked the 1/2 mile to East Croydon train station brought a train ticket to London Victoria.I had no idea where I was going or what I was going to do. But I felt great I felt slightly nervous but very calm inside.I was not read by hardly anyone and had a ride into london whilst in my head I was trying to work out why was I doing this,this is crazy but boy did I feel so good.
I hopped on a tube and headed to bayswater. I wandered around there for a bit window shopping,stopping for a coffee watching the world go by. I then moved into the oxford street area.I had made one mistake and a good lesson it was too. My little pixe ankle boots was just a wee bit to small and my feet was crying out in pain after a few hours . But I continued to hobble about window shopping. I finally made my way home at about 4:30 PM.
I never had any hassel, incidents or issues from anyone the only people to suss me out was young kids.
So Far I have yet to meet anyone else who did their first going out dressed in such a public or prolonged way and in full daylight too.
Looking back now I know and understand why.
I felt great, I loved being like that in public as that was how I wanted to be seen and percieved by everyone. it was the first time I had come to feeling normal up to that point.
I regret not learning from that there and then and not taking the steps it has taken so late in life to do what I should have.

Hi All,
My 1st time was to the post office and no one noticed (this is a good thing). My second time out (the next day) was a shopping trip - Wig shop, chocolate store (for some gifts) and department store for dresses, tops, girl jeans & shoes. I had very positive experiences at all the stores I visited.

Two years later, before I go out, I check to see if I am gender appropriate. e.g. if in girl mode, no guy stuff, etc.
Although I have walked into the wrong restroom at a bar, as I forgot how I was dressed.

Hugz,
Michelle Lynn

Wow, it was 1994, here in the land that time forgot, Richmond Virginia. I was still deriving a wrecker truck then . I had a friend , well a co-worker that knew all about " Ellen " . She was a part time butitian and she wanted me to DO ThIS in "HER WORDS" to explain, I need ed to take the leap and go out even though it was to a Lesbian club. She spent what was to be hours on my hair, I had past the shoulder hair then , so there was plenty to work with according to her. Meanwhile , I was scared to death! I ha dfor years practiced with make up and sitting and walking around the neighborhood at three in the morning. I knew in my own heart I had to do this. Listen Gals, I had sat on the poarch of my house watching the traffic pass by on interstate 95, sitting there enjoying the coolbreezes smoking a cigarette. I would dream of one day , finially making the leap! Well, it was a saturday night and even the Lesbians commented on how well I had done and how my appearence was well chosen . I think I wore a knee lenth skirt mid heels and a simple top. I remember wearing that and a jacket to my first ever group meeting the MAJIC group in Northern Virginia. I cant thank all those people there enough for the lovely comments they made when they discovered that I had been out only once before too! I wanted to cry because for me , I ha dfinially overcome my addiction to alcohol and drugs and I had found a welcomeing therapist who wanted to really helpand I had found out that YES , YOU CAN!Ellen Shaver

My first time out was a very long time ago, but still fresh in my mind.I was about 14-15, and had been dressing for a while, and the urge to get outside was pretty strong. I had fairly long hair then,[early '70s], put on my best outfit, actually one of mom's tops, that fit me like a mini dress!I managed to walk down the block and buy a newspaper from the vend box.Unbelievable rush!!After that, I was out on a regular basis, easier each time.I guess you can add a second "first" a couple of years ago, as I started dressing again, after a long hiatus. My first time out in almost 30 years! A little different this time, but just as exciting.Started with short walks, and now, I feel comfortable anywhere, going shopping, and enjoying myself on a whole new level!!
vikki

My first time out? I remember it like it was yesterday, but thats cos it was only 3 months ago lol.

Im 48 and very new to the Tg world, its been an absolute revelation to me, I dont know why I didnt discover it sooner.

I dont seem to have any confidence problems in fact Im more confident en femme than i am in drab.

Within a couple of weeks of my discovery I attended Sparkle the annual transgender celebration in Manchesters gay village, Canal St.
This absolutely surreal and euphoric experience was my first time out in public.

I stayed in a big posh hotel with a magnificent fairytale staircase and a giant chandelier, when I walked in through the doorway dressed in drab and i saw it for the first time I was ecstatic at the sight of it, I just could not wait to descend it dressed as a girl, it was a complete fairytale.

I rushed headlong from my room after hurriedly getting changed, I was wearing a cheap purple summer dress with pink shoes, bag and accessories.
So immature I know but I still love that outfit.

Only once I was halfway down the stairs did I get an inkling of self consciousness but I irritatedly brushed it aside and immediately headed for the foyer and the main entrance doorway.
Outside was the real world and like a diver running along the springboard i couldnt wait to dive headlong into the outside world.

Through the glass I caught sight of taxis passing by and people on the pavement and the adrenaline rushed through my body, I opened the doors and stepped outside and down the stone steps to the pavement, it was like diving into a swimming pool.

I felt the cool air on my legs up my dress and heard the clip clippy sound of my heels on the steps, I loved every single thing about it.
There was a party of GGs sitting on the steps commencing their hen party and they all wolf whistled at me, I played right back at them flashing my thighs and flirting with them, no nervousness, no lack of confidence, I didnt even think about it I just did it, in fact I revelled in it.
I had discovered a whole new person that had been living inside me unknown for 48 years.
The girls loved the entertainment and tried to persuade me to come around town with them but I wanted to go to Sparkle.

I walked down the pavement towards the Canal St area and pedestrians stared at me but I was invincible, I felt ten feet tall. Two guys (standing smoking outside the bar room door) looked at me and in my euphoric state I winked at them and waggled my ass as i walked by.
Fortunately I noticed how that seemed to put them in their place and that was the beginning of my understanding of how to handle the public at large. Confidence and more confidence.
If you spot the one mouthy guy in the group thats going to say something detrimental to you, meet him head on before he has chance.

I went on that afternoon, evening and then weekend to have a fantastic time meeting great people and I havent had one single regret ever since (other than wasting 48 years).

As a guy I would have cringed if my gf wanted to drag me onto the dance floor.
As Layla, you have to drag me off it lol.

Ive learnt so much about myself and evolved such a lot in such a short space of time.

As I walked down the sidewalk from my car to the steps of the Capital building I remember feeling my nyloned legs rubbing together at the thigh and making that lovely noise they do. I was only twenty one years old then. It had taken a long time to get up the courage and plan out where I could walk downtown without being too noticeable.

For months I had been dressing when I got home from work. I was fortunate that my wife at the time worked several hours later than I did, because I started earlier. It gave me the opportunity to be dressed for two to three hours almost every weekday. On this particular day it was very cold and near snowing. I figured this would be a great time to get out and actually walk outside in public without being noticed.

Shaving hadn't been a problem since my SO and I had played dress-up together in private a few times and she knew that I enjoyed staying clean and smooth shaved. But she had no idea of my desire to get outside, not to go full public per say, just the thrill of the getting out and the whole illusion thing. It was very exciting just to think about getting out and now was my first chance to do it.

I spent an hour or so getting ready. My hair was long then and I was thin with a very nice figure. I wore tan nylons (pantyhose) and a smart looking skirt just above the knees with a matching jacket and blouse (it was my wife's outfit - fit pretty well). The shoes I had purchased myself and were very sexy strappy heels, about five inch stilettos. I knew the heels were a bit high but walking in them was no problem. I had years of practice and looked great strutting them. I was so excited putting my nails on and touching up the last bit of makeup. I had planned my route days in advance and knew where I would park and walk around the Capital building an then back to the car. So as I finished getting ready all these things were going through my head. Leaving the house wasn't very bad because I parked the car right near the back door and we had no close neighbors. I was shaking and so nervous but how glorious is was to feel the pedals of the car with my high heels. I sat in the driveway for a while and lit a cigarette and then pulled away.

Driving down the road I never thought what would happen if I see someone I know. But I was so turned on just being outside and dressed up it didn't matter. I got to the parking lot where I was going to walk and remember getting out and there were a couple guys checking me out. You could tell the heels caught their eye immediately. They had no clue I was a man. I felt like a bird on its first flight. My heart was pumping as I walked along. It was so much fun. When I got back to the house I took pictures of myself and since have gotten rid of them. I should have saved them some way, in a safe deposite box or something.

I'll never forget that time. There were a few more times out dressed up when I was younger. Once I went out dressed a little too sexy with a garter belt and stockings under a fluffy loose dress and the wind was blowing a bit more than I knew. But then that's another story.

Ginger

Porcha,
I am new to this web site and have been dressing since I was about 8yo however the need to dress and venture out has become overwhelming. So just recently I have take a few car rides for increasingly longer distances. Which is very exciting especially when I am stopped at a light and I can see the people in the car next to look over look away as if they just saw another person driving a car. I feel very comfortable doing this however I have never stopped and gotten out of the car and gone into a store. I am 5'10" tall and in my 5 inch heels I would be quite noticeable whether I liked it or not. I know I could wear smaller heels but I like wearing 4-5 inch heels and my legs look that much better in high heels. Can you offer me any encouragement or ideas in order to get past this last hurdle in realizing who I am.
Sindy

Hello, I'm back and I apologise for being away for so long. In reply to Sindi, I cannot give you any advice that will change your life, and there is, after all, no reason why you should listen to me. If you have great legs Sindi, then wear 6inch heels Make the most of what you have. Fear of what other people think undermines us more than anything else, but really why should we care. Does it matter if a stranger calls us faggot, queer, pervert. The simple fact is if you have great legs, a to-die-for body, or a beautiful face then that is what you have, regardless of gender. They know that, that is what gets their attention, they are lying to themselves not to us. I don't know peoples' personal circumstances, I only know mine. I know for many who are married and have children for example, things can be complicated. I cannot necesarilly relate to that situation but I am always happy to chat with girls who want someone to talk to.

Beside using my sisters clothing when I was young, I really started to be Natalie at the age of 18 and it just happen that I went out, bought some nice clothes, shoes and other things for then to go home get dressed and whent out. This was on a weekend and Monday morning I went to work as Natalie but the fact is though that I always felt and acted as a girl.

At my work, people just thought it was interesting and they did not mind at all so I totally agree with what Porscha said that “Fear of what other people think undermines us more than anything else, but really why should we care.” So true so true… My sister is so, so with me being Natalie but my two older brothers does not say much so I don’t really know. My mum is OK with it but my dad is… well I don’t know where to put him.

I believe that what ever the reason is, dressing as female is good no matter if you are part time dresser or fulltime like myself.

xxx Natalie

Three days after my 16 birthday, Prefering to brave the trek on my own. White pedal pusher jeans, A pink crop top and trainers, with my hair in a pony tail. A walk through the Rookery, Down the footpath across Streatham common onto the high rd and into Sainsburys. Any one that looked at me, looking back at them and giving them a smile. Nothing exotic or outrageous, just a girl popping out to shop.


Never looked back since


xxX Cristine Xxx