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Just a funny story

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  • The Little Green Snake

    A couple in Sweetwater Texas, had a lot of potted plants, and during a cold spell the wife brought some indoors to protect them.

    A little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and slithered out. The wife saw it go under the sofa and let out a very loud screem. The Husband ran out of the shower naked to see why. She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it.

    About that time the family dog came by and from behind, cold nosed him (you fill this in). He thought the snake bit him, and fainted.

    His wife thought he'd had a heart attack, so she called an ambulance. The attendants rushed in, loaded him on the stretcher and started carring him out -just as the snake emerged from under the sofa. The Emergency Medicial Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and was taken to the hospitial.

    The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called in a neighbor. The man armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper, poked under the couch and soon decided it was gone. The woman sat down on the sofa in relief.

    Relaxing, she let her hand dangle between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor man, seeing her there passed out, tried using CPR.

    The neighbor's wife, just back from grocery shopping, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed him in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp. An ambulance was again called and it was determined he required hospitialization.

    The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed he'd been bitten by the snake. She got a small bottle of whiskey and began pouring it down the man's throat. By now the police had arrrived. They saw the unconscioius man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, but the woman explained. An ambulance was called and took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

    Just then the little snake crawled out from under the sofa. A policeman drew his gun and fired at it. He missed, and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, and a lamp on it shattered and set the drapes on fire. The other policeman tried to beat out the flames and fell out the window into the yard, on top of the startled family dog, who raced into the street where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car, setting it on fire.

    Meanwhile, the burning drapes had spread to the walls and the entire house was ablaze. A responding fire truck started raising its ladder halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out overhead wires, which shut off electricity in a 10 square-block area.

    Time passed. Both men recovered, the house was rebuilt, the police got a new car, all was well -until a year later, when the TV weatherman announced a cold snap. The husband asked his wife if they should bring in their plants for the night.

    She shot him.



      February 17, 2008 1:19 AM GMT
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  • lol Great story I loved the flow on effect, As a fireman myself I've had to get snakes out of houses before I could see how this could happen
      February 17, 2008 2:31 AM GMT
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  • Sundance, my SO, used to keep a couple dozen snakes in her living room. They never bothered her but she said she could NOT keep an AVON representative.
    "A live lived in fear is a life half-lived." - Native American proverb. "Inside every man is a woman who was drowned in testosterone before birth". - Wendy Jeanette Larsen "It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you're not." - Andre Gide (French writer)
      February 17, 2008 4:40 AM GMT
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  • Funny story Bridgette, I could see that happening. I have a story that touched me when I read it, it's not really a joke so I would like to post it in this thread. Love, Marsha

    Giving When it Counts...

    Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a
    hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who
    was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only
    chance of recovery appeared to be a blood
    transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had
    miraculously survived the same disease and had
    developed the antibodies needed to combat the
    illness. The doctor explained the situation to her
    little brother, and asked the little boy if he would
    be willing to give his blood to his sister.

    I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a
    deep breath and saying, 'Yes I'll do it if it will save
    her.' As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed
    next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing
    the color returning to her cheek. Then his face
    grew pale and his smile faded.

    He looked up at the doctor and asked with a
    trembling voice, 'Will I start to die right away'.

    Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the
    doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his
    sister all of his blood in order to save her.
      February 17, 2008 11:03 AM GMT
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  • 2 2627
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Dear Mom & Dad,
    Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and are worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.

    Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning.

    Scoutmaster Keith got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas would blow up?

    The wet wood didn't burn, but one of the tents did and al s o some of our clothes. Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.

    We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Keith gets the bus fixed. It wasn't his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked okay when we left. Scoutmaster Keith said that with a bus that old you have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance.

    We think it's a neat bus. He doesn't care if we get it dirty and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the fenders. It gets pretty hot with 45 people in a bus made for 24. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the highway patrol man stopped and talked to us.

    Scoutmaster Keith is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Jessie how to drive on the mountain roads where there aren’t any cops. All we ever see up there are logging trucks.

    This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out to the rapids. Scoutmaster Keith wouldn't let me because I can't swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast, it's concrete because we didn't have any plaster, so he let us take the canoe out. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood.

    Scoutmaster Keith isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't even get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on the bus so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.

    Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Andrew dived into the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works.

    Steven and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Keith said it probably was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken. He said they got sick that way with food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time. By the way, what is a pedal-file?

    I have to go now. We are going to town to mail our letters & buy some more beer and ammo. Don't worry about anything. We are fine and tonight it's my turn to sleep in the Scoutmaster's tent.

    Love, Jimmie
    <p>Karen Brad</p>
      February 17, 2008 1:29 PM GMT
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