well here we go in here as well just one last try . then Mancs for Sparlke then that it as far as i am concerend

Sometimes that person pops up when we least expect it and are not even looking. It could happen tomorrow. Jusy hang in there.

well mabe Robyn , am biging to thinlk is it worth keeping going anymore

thanks sue ypou just made upmy mind for me ? i will not be back inhere again xxxxxx

I'm afraid that the suggestion that to be honest, open, or to just be yourself is bad advice. It's nice and it is something you would expect a friend to say, and usually comes from those who are already in a happy and stable relationship. But someone has to take the lead. Predatory is a harsh word but not too far from the truth. Sure someone may turn up, it is just as likely, indeed more likely, that they won't. I would suggest that you remain proactive and keep trying. The older you get the harder it gets. It would be very easy for me to be more positive and give you that on-line hug. But you don't want a hug you want a lover.

Lynn, I believe most of us understand the loneliness you are going through all too well. Those who have known me from when I first arrived at TW know what an emotional mess I was because I had no friends nor was I out to my family. The friendships I have developed here have carried me through to a time now that I have an accepting wife, local friends, and a tremendous number of online friendships. Basically what I'm saying is don't ever give up. Just don't ever give up.
Love,
Marsha

It's always worth it Lynn, you never know what is in store in the future. Being alone can be so awful at times I know, but try not to let it get you down.

I hope someone answers your call.

Hugs,

Nikki

Lynn....it's ALWAYS worth it to keep going cos you never know what might happen. I never thought i'd fin someone but i DID!!. now if it can work for me, it'll work for you hon.....you just gotta have faith in yourself.


Lol xxxxxxxxxx
Anna-Marie

Lynn.

Have you considered many people may find the desperation implied in the title of the thread off-putting? If I was looking, it would certainly not attract me.
Maybe you just need to back off a bit, make friends and let things go at their own pace.

I have had many long periods of being alone, and even longer being single, but eventually someone for me came along. And it came about through a friend who knew both of us and made the introductions.
There is a lot in favour of this form of matchmaking, as a mutual friend will know both of you well, and know if there is a chance...

Sue. XX

Why?

Hey!

Just wanted to add my thoughts - then I got to the end of the thread and got really confused! Ok, I probably only know a fraction of the story but can't see how Sue's comment made Lyn's mind up to disappear from the wonderful world of Trannyweb. [Hope you did'nt mean it, Lyn].

And just in case you do come back...

I truly believe that the best way to find a partner is to stop looking. Every significant relationship I've had has been with people who found me and then found me to be a person they wanted to share their life with, for whatever reason.

I've been single now for a long time, maybe 7 years or so, I'm not counting. But neither do I want a relationship. If it happens, ce la vie.

That does'nt mean I'm a strong minded determindly independent person. Far from it. I cannot stand being lonely, I hate being alone - not to be confused with having time to yourself.

But those problems sorted themselves out. A good friend of mine needed accomodation, I had a spare room and so suddenly had a lodger. It works, theres someone about the place and fills that void. Occasionally we rub each other up the wrong way but thats a small price to pay for our respective needs being answered. His for accomodation, peace and quiet, mine for company and knowing my home is'nt an empty shell occupied by me.

Through my work I met a delightful girl who, in a very short space of time, became my sister. We bonded and are very very close emotionally. I see her almost every day and those days we can't see each other then we're on the phone for an hour or so.

I guess you could say that, without realising it, I broke down the component parts of a relationship and found them in seperate ways. I have my sister who answers my emotional need to care for and about someone and my lodger to answer the need for companionship.

As for the yucky stuff, there's always a one night stand. But, to be honest, thats way way low down on the priority list. Sometimes a nice cup of tea really is better...

I just feel the right people will gravitate towards you if you're warm, honest and open up a little. Life can take its own surprising lead if you want it to.

So much love

Rae xx

There's a lot of truth in what you say here Rae, I think it's usually because we stop 'trying too hard' to find someone which can come across as a little predatory. Once you just be yourself instead it makes you much more approachable, at least that works for me.

Nikki

I admit to taking Lynn's title at face value. to just desire a lover to me means simply looking for sex, which is not the same as looking for a relationship.

Rae, you put it far more eloquently than I did, but I think you were say ing much the same thing.

Porscha, you are right in that you do need to do more than sit at home and hope a knight in shining amour comes in the door. However, being predatory can have it's drawbacks as well.

If all someone wants is a lover, all they have to do is go to the nearest pub or club and announce they want a lover. There is garuanteed to be at least one person there who will take them up on it.

If someone wants a relationship, that is totally different. It can start with friendship, through friends or completely by accident. And it takes time to build that into something meaningful. You have to be patient, by far the hardest part, and it can take a long time if it is to last.

For instant satisfaction try one of the two links below within TW, or there are plenty of other sites offering the same.
Sex is not TW's main purpose, so does not generally attract the type of person Lynn appears to be looking for. There have been many friendships built here, but proper long -term relationships have been few and far between.

Sue. XX

http://gendersociety.com/perl/community/class9990053717993.cgi

http://www.trannymates.com/