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Questions for men...

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  • It just hit me that what both Keith and Catherine said is what it is all about. What are you in it for? I use to give TA's the third degree when they entered the chatroom because I figured all they were after was sex talk. But after getting to know Keith and some other TA's I learned that was not always the case.

    So if other gals and I can wonder what is in it for a TA, who's to say a TA can't ask the very same question about us. I am always curious what makes people tic, I'm sure others are no different and maybe just as intrigued about us.

    Marsha


      March 23, 2008 5:12 PM GMT
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  • Hiya Nikki,

    Another question - I know you don't like the label 'TA' so how does it make you feel to be grouped in with them as a whole, particularly since many girls here will assume you are just after sex?


    Going off the experiences and opinions of TAs held by the ladies of this forum, I'd say that I hate being associated with them, and would do anything I could to distance myself... Hence, I'm not going to allow myself to be called a 'TA'; you can call me a guy

    K
      March 23, 2008 5:45 PM GMT
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  • Oooh good answer, and you seem to be making quite an impression here and showing us that not all T/A 's are the same. Of course they aren't, and neither are the girls. Good job Keef, I hope we can keep this thread going as I'm sure that there are a lot of questions out there.

    Nikki
    Every woman is beautiful, some show it with their faces, others show it with their hearts.
      March 23, 2008 9:21 PM GMT
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  • Hooray!

    Another guy on board to answer the questions.

    I was beginning to become concern that this was turning into an 'Ask Keith' thread, and that's a million miles away from what I wanted it to be.

    And you're absolutely right, Matt. There are far too many people who look at the label before the contents and make up their minds from that. We're all guilty of that to some degree - male, female and those who straddle the spectrum - but human nature being what it is, we all like to have aspects of life filed for easy reference.

    But I like think that this thread has gone someway to shedding light on what makes us all tick.

    Anyway, over to you, Matt.

    This should be interesting

    K
      March 24, 2008 11:25 AM GMT
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  • Nicole,

    I missed this one:

    "I recently had a few dates with a nice guy, but I broke it off before things got very far. We got along well, we had many things in common, and I believe we may have possibly had a future together. I ended it because I wasn't really ready for a relationship just yet. Plus we had a difference of opinion on SRS; I want to have it, yet he seemed to prefer that I not. What was that about?"

    A good question and I think we both know the answer to that one. From my experience when it comes to, erm, relationships, there are guys that want their partner to remain male in that area.

    Call it validated homo- or bisexuality.

    It's not for me to say in your case, but it certainly would appear that way.

    And if that's the case, then it's a terrible disservice to you, because he would have been asking you to deny your own true self. Bloody men!

    Hugs,
    Keith
    x
      March 24, 2008 12:36 PM GMT
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  • That reminds me of a guy who came into the chatroom about a week ago, saw that we were just chatting about normal everyday things and had given him the 'wrong' answers to his sexually charged questions, so he abruptly left. Shame, lol.

    Nikki
    Every woman is beautiful, some show it with their faces, others show it with their hearts.
      March 24, 2008 1:23 PM GMT
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  • Joelle,

    "For once I disagree with Keith. I think that whether a TG women is pre- or post-op it doesn't validate their 'womanhood'. A woman's a woman and if she has a partner, I think they can involve in some things to express it in a physical way.

    "And if there is a guy who wants a pre-op TG, I wouldn't call him gay or bi, I think once again... labels! A women and a man are traditionally a 'straight' couple no matter where they have come from in life"


    Mein lieblingfraulein, you missed my point... I was stating from the guy's point of view, not the TGirl's - because as I said before, gender and sex are not necessarily related. In this instance, where Nicole wants SRS and her former partner didn't, the chances are that this was because said guy wanted male genitalia attached to Nicole. Nothing more, nothing less.

    It's about his preferences. Perhaps I was being simplistic, but that was so I could avoid going into quite so much detail...

    K
      March 24, 2008 11:56 PM GMT
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  • Hi Keef
    we have never conversed in chat or messaged etc but from what I can tell from what I have seen of your replys in forums on many subjects in my eyes makes you a decent HUMAN BEING.

    I know the thred has deviated from your original objective.

    I personally dislike the term Trannie Admirer or TG Admirer etc.......... I admire great works of Art, Great human endeavours, great acts by great people so in my world the term is a real misnomer.
    I have more than 10 years of experience of meeting guys,chatting with ,mailing etc for many Guys their motives were mostly sexual. But I have also had some lovely times being taken out for meals at reastaurants, Pubs etc in Daylight and at night. Every time I was treated as a Lady by real gents we enjoyed great conversation ,laughs and nothing sexual was expected from me by them.

    My view is a people based one. There are lovely people, Mixed up people,confused people,courious people,one tracked mind people.Nasty people so I dont class a guy who shows interest in getting to know me as an "Admirer" I see him as some one who wishes to get to know me better another person another human being.

    If you are net savy that is been around for a while online chatted to many people male female Tg or whatever Label you need to use.....you develop a nose for the type of person who is at the other end of the superhighway.I can usually tell within a few minutes or a few seperate chats what is driving the person at the other end of that chat window their motive for chatting with me.

    I have had many no Shows and the answer for their no shows is usually the fantasy is easier to deal with than going through with the act (whether just a social meet or something more is expected).

    Guys Like Keef are a very rare thing. So you girls should fully appreciate an open honest guy when you come across one. Judgeing one guy by your experiences of another is like someone judgeing me as a TS from a previous experience of another TS who is probably as different from me as cheese is to chalk.

    I have a good male friend who is married articulate and intelligent who likes to meet with me from time to time purely because he finds my company and conversation stimulating as I find him interllectually stimulating and emotionally mature no sex nothing physical just two freinds showing love and respect to one another with no judgements made.

    So for my 2 pence worth my experince tells me that 95 % of guys who are under the label of TA are usually after sex in one form or another and may be either a HPW or TV seeking a way to allow themselves to dress. The other 4% are usually diamonds and you know how a girl loves Diamonds...he he
    and that missing 1% probably the sort of guys everyone no matter what their gender or sexual status would most definatly avoid at all costs ( please dont ask me how you can tell this sort) if we knew how to spot such types everyone would be a lot safer.

    ** these are veiws expressed from personal experience and no data has been collected analysed or collated to prove or disprove these numbers in any scientific manor.

    So Keef thanks for a good posting.

    Sarah
    flowering into the woman I always was.
      March 24, 2008 11:58 PM GMT
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  • Sarah, that was so well said. Yes, Keith is a diamond. Most my experiences with TA's has been online and I would definitely go along with the percentages you listed.

    Ok Keith, here is another question. I think you would have to agree with what Sarah has said that an overwelming majority of "TA's" are after sex, fantasy or not. Do you see the samething Sarah describes and does it change your opinion at all about how some of the gals agressively attack TA's?

    I like labels but many don't so let's just say an unknown male enters TW chat. Do you have any thoughts on how we should approach them? For example, give them the benefit of the doubt they are a "diamond", or based on experience that maybe as many as 95% are looking for sex, should we maybe agressively obtain the true intentions of his visit?

    Marsha

      March 25, 2008 12:28 PM GMT
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  • “…should we maybe aggressively obtain the true intentions of his visit?”
    I know you asked Keith (or any men, surely?) but isn’t it better to approach them politely and courteously if you expect the same from them. Intentions soon become clear, there is no need for the third degree.
    Innocent until proven guilty. Let’s stop being prejudiced against men, regardless of TA or any other label.
    A man who isn’t a tranny admirer or gay, is a “woman admirer”; at the end of the day they are all men.
    xx
      March 25, 2008 12:56 PM GMT
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  • Lucy Lucy Lucy, lol. My question was an open question and I did not intend it to endorse one or the other, I used extremes in both directions. I would think treat as a "diamond" would mean polite and courteous.

    I don't think I any longer follow either extreme. When I first came to TW I was naive and treated everyone as a diamond. After getting pounced on day after day I eventually went the other direction and gave TA's the third degree. When I began to see some diamonds like Keith I moved more to the middle which I call the cautious position.

    With that said, I believe TW is a social and support site for TG's. And when a new gal comes to TW needing our support, she does not need to be hassled by the bad TA's. Allowing bad TA's to stay one second longer than necessary can effect whether or not a new gal see's TW as just another one of those perverted tranny sites or not.

    Maybe a better way to phrase the question for Keith would be to ask if he understands why many of us take the positions we have?

    Marsha
      March 25, 2008 2:12 PM GMT
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  • The answer is very simple, men who join this site who are neither ts or tv are here because they find us physically attractive. It is something Keef himself alludes to himself, and there is nothing wrong with that. There are girls here I find attractive. It is how they behave that is the point. Do they aggressively pursue their desires or are simply happy to be around and make friends with people they find attractive. To believe they are here because we make for especially stimulating conversation, are particularly insightful, or offer visions of a brave new world, is so much eyewash. Just go into trannychat to find very ordinary people talking about very ordinary things. Also, I don't like labelling. I have had to live with it all my life - queer, tranny, nancy boy, whatever. However, we live in a world that labels everything. It has to have something by which to judge its own often perverse standards of normality. I'm afraid in the eyes of society you will always be a transsexual first and a woman second, a gay man, a lesbian etc etc. People are indeed people, but what a quaint idea. Just a final thought, I always expect to be treated with courtesy and respect and am surprised and hurt when I'm not. To expect anything less is a sad lowering of standards.
    Porscha
      March 25, 2008 4:13 PM GMT
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  • Porscha

    "Just a final thought, I always expect to be treated with courtesy and respect and am surprised and hurt when I'm not. To expect anything less is a sad lowering of standards."


    As do I - and it's exactly the same with me...

    And it's a great mantra to live by. Just as I like to treat others how I'd like to be treated by them...

    K
      March 25, 2008 6:45 PM GMT
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  • I have to say that when I am in chat I will always approach a guy in the same way I would anyone else in there, that is with courtesy, and I expect the same in return. It only takes a few minutes of chat to find out what they are they for but I give them the benefit of the doubt first.

    Even if I have to warn them off I can do it 'nicely', and to be honest, most leave without any problems because we aren't the sort of site they are looking for.

    Nikki
    Every woman is beautiful, some show it with their faces, others show it with their hearts.
      March 25, 2008 8:05 PM GMT
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  • I'm certainly not prejudiced towards men though I admit to being uncomfortable with, and wary of, masculinity. I treat everyone as an individual but I have had bad experiences with tranny admirers ( for use of a better term ). That obviously colours my perspective but I have already admitted to that. However, this is as a group. I have received many complimentary remarks from t/a's and they have been much appreciated. Both yourself and Keef are welcome here as far as I'm concerned. You don't have to justify your presence. But I do think a little more honesty and a little less flim-flam would be welcome. As for treating others how I would wish to treated myself? I would be interested to know who here believes that I haven't treated them with the greatest respect, regardless of whether I like them or not.
    Porscha
      March 25, 2008 8:20 PM GMT
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  • Okay my question is, 'how does it make a nice normal guy feel when he comes into our world and is blanked or jumped upon by us assuming he is here for sex?'

    Nikki
    Every woman is beautiful, some show it with their faces, others show it with their hearts.
      March 25, 2008 8:39 PM GMT
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  • I think I'll let Matt field that one

    K
      March 25, 2008 9:26 PM GMT
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  • That's a really good question, Joelle. I know it's not really directed at me, so I will keep my response short. Anyway, I've probably already outstayed my welcome on this thread. However, your question can be extended. Why, for example, do I find particular women on this site attractive? Why am I intrigued by them when I have only had minimal, if any, contact, and know hardly know anything about them. It's not just based on looks.Some are attractive others less so. It is because in my mind they have become the woman I imagine them to be and not the person they necessarily are. That's my fantasy, they are my dream woman. You should have elaborated upon this a little and posted it as a separate thread. I think you would have got some really interesting replies.
    Porscha
      March 26, 2008 9:02 AM GMT
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  • Joelle,

    inappropriate response but .. thank you?


    I'm really sorry.

    I can only speak for me in response to your original point, but I do tend to put people I find attractive (physically or personally) on a pedestal, and then do my hardest to make sure they stay on there. It's probably not the best recipe for lasting happiness - but it's how I am.

    I suspect from your original question that you're asking people for their ideas on this - whether the reality lives up to the fantasy (online or not), and in my case, it always has. But I have to work at it. The problem is though, I do always pick the wrong ones...

    K
      March 26, 2008 11:08 AM GMT
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  • Ah okay gotcha...

    The TG thing is obviously my initial attraction, but the one I would fall for (or have fallen for?) is all about her personality - and that's where fantasy does hit reality square on.

    So for me - initially it's TG, but to last, it's what's upstairs... and that means the woman, not the trait...

    Does that make sense?

    K
      March 26, 2008 11:23 AM GMT
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  • i'm going to chirp in lol - i totally understand the point joelle is making. without causing controversy i would like to state that my experience it seems that alot of TAs are only interested in whats in the knickers and not whats in the mind. when ever i get hit on one of the first things i make clear is that i will be post-op at some point and this seems to kill the interest.

    i think keith is on the right track for a successful relationship with longevity. as we all know, bodies grow old and wither but its the matching of minds which bring fruitful relationships.

    I dint mean to spout a load of old rhetoric, but ya know what I mean. keith, i hope you find and get the angel your deserve.

    Just an ordinary girl finding her way in this strange life. - What will it take to get everyone to realise that everyone else is also a human being that deserves just as much respect? - How does someone tell their doctor they have hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia? - When I was a student I specialised in Alcopology. It always starts with Alco and always ends with pology. - Waiter! There's a hare in my rabbit pie!
      March 26, 2008 7:50 PM GMT
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  • Matt - thankyou for that, I can imagine it could be a little unwelcoming at times. It shouldn't be and everyone who uses the room should try and prevent that.

    Keith - Oh dear..........................'she's got have something upstrairs'...........'I always pick the wrong ones'

    That's me scuppered then!


    Next question, moving on from Anifers...............

    If you fall for a pre-op TS and they then decide they are having SRS, does that change the way you feel about them or the way you view them? Would you prefer them to remain pre-op? Is that the attraction? (Initially at least).

    Nikki
    Every woman is beautiful, some show it with their faces, others show it with their hearts.
      March 29, 2008 3:26 PM GMT
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  • Nikki,

    "If you fall for a pre-op TS and they then decide they are having SRS, does that change the way you feel about them or the way you view them? Would you prefer them to remain pre-op? Is that the attraction? (Initially at least)."


    Easy peasy, that one...

    I would do everything I could to help said person achieve what they want in life - be that SRS or whatever... So, say I met Miss Right (unlikely I know), and she wants to go all the way... yes I would be more than happy for them to go post-op.

    K
      March 30, 2008 10:47 AM BST
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  • Penny,

    "I totally understand the point Joelle is making. without causing controversy i would like to state that my experience it seems that a lot of TAs are only interested in whats in the knickers and not whats in the mind. when ever i get hit on one of the first things i make clear is that i will be post-op at some point and this seems to kill the interest."


    Arrgh, I replied to this, but it never appeared, so I'll try again!

    Anyway, my original message said that I've been in and out of the scene on both sides of the fence for far longer than I care to admit, and I'll pull no punches by saying that the number of successful long term relationships between guys and TGirls is very small indeed.

    And of those, most seem to be with pre- or post-op full time TSs. I guess the reason for that is their lives are (relatively) settled, and they've reached that place of stability in life that we're all ultimately looking for. Generally the relationship's transcended initial reasons for attraction, and moved to the next level.

    TVs, on the other hand, seem to rarely fall into lasting relationships with guys - and contributing factors (from my experience) would be split 50/50 between both partners.

    So - being TS will ultimately scare off the Horny Net Geeks (HNGs) looking for c**k, but perversely, it increases your chances of finding something more meaningful.

    Hang in there, Penny - you're a lovely lady and you'll find the right one

    Keith
    x
      March 30, 2008 12:54 PM BST
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  • Thankyou guys.

    So, the next thing is.............................do you have any preference for GG's over TG's? Given the opportunity, which would you prefer to have as a partner? Please elaborate your answer.

    Nikki
    Every woman is beautiful, some show it with their faces, others show it with their hearts.
      March 30, 2008 9:04 PM BST
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