Greetings everyone!

Ok... I've been going through the whole forums, and only more questions popped into my brain. And I'm already looking foward for your answers!
First of all, I was wondering, if by starting hormones at my age (twenty years old) I had more chances of having better effects?
Actually... First things first... I'm not sure if I -do- want to start hormones... I've been adept at cross-dressing since I was 14 years old or so now, I still do enjoy it, but not as much as I used to... I dont feel feminine, nor do I feel pretty enough. One of my biggest scare is going on hormones and having a bad developpement physically, ending up not looking that great. (but then I guess I could do with some surgeries...). I have a fascination with women, I want to look like a gorgeous young lady so badly... but I dont truly feel like a woman inside, while at the same time, I'm much more of a feminine guy than masculine (I've been raised by my mother, my sister and my grand-mother...)

So taking in consideration I did wanted to go on hormone treatment, I would of course, first seek medical attention to go through, but here are some of the questions popping in my mind...

Would it really make me look feminine? (see profile for picture to judge?)

What kind of body modification generally happens (but I guess that is a very case-by-case thing?)

I'm kind of hairy, is that bad?

The thought of kidney stones (is that how you call them in english? ) scares me a LOT... is it really frequent?

Do breasts generally look better after taking hormones and then having a breast implant instead of going straight for the implant? (I tried to sneakily ask my uncle, whose a plastic surgeon specialized in implants... but he never did surgery on transexuals, as they mostly go to the united states for them, so he stated)

I know of the erectile dysfunctions, but how is the sexual apetite affected?

Taking I'm much of a bisexual, I was wondering if it treatment could change my mind to be less of a female lover? (Note that im a huge pervert as my ''starting'' minding)


I'd really appreciate some talk , advice and such...
Also after reading the other reply from a thread I made in the Coming out section, I'd like to point the fact that I did not always feel the need to become a woman, But I've always had inside of me, a part that felt more feminine and desired to attain feminity.
I'm truly sure that I love to feel as womanly as possible, and cross-dressing doesnt please me enough anymore.
While what I do not know, is if I should consider hormones to reach that other step, or not.

Perhaps, but just to clarify what I meant when I said those two lines:
I didnt want to become a woman very seriously until I was around 16, while I started cross-dressing before that without that feeling as if I needed to be a woman that I have now.
And also, I'm saying cross-dressing does not plead me anymore , because when I look at myself in the mirror, I see a man whose trying to put on a female mask on. I see a man with make up who doesnt look quite as feminine as he would like... thats how I should have put it... (it sounded obvious when I spoke to myself in my head in french while translating all this, I swear )

According to a few people I have talked to though, the younger you take hormones, the better the result can end up to be (especially because of what ever is that hormone you still produce in large quantitiy until 25ish that has to do with skin elasticness)

I've been reading more and more on the forums, and what I think I am finding out is that the more time goes, the more I closer I want to be to a woman, but I cannot decide on my own if hormones are what I truly need, even if its what would make my desire come true...

I can understand its a huge decision to take... But yes, im thinking about seeking counseling about all this.

At any rate, I could consider taking hormones as some kind of extreme body modification, but that wouldnt truly be it as it doesnt only change how you look , but also how you act and who you are...

I'm hoping to hear a few stories, and perhaps, someone who decided to go for the hormones that was in a similar position as me...

Hello Martin,
Im afraid I cant offer any help on the hormones, as I find it all a bit confusing, so I will leave that to the experts.

What I have noticed though is your comment about not feeling feminine or pretty enough. I think I know what you mean there. A few years ago I spent a lot of money on a full makeover at a local place, and I wasnt entirely happy with the end result. Thats mainly because like you, I was hoping to see a female looking back in the reflection, and instead all I saw was the same old male face I had always seen, only this time it had a bit of slap on it. It was a huge disappointment, but Ive been looking at it for over 40 years now, so its a very famillier sight. A little bit of makeup wasnt going to change it enough to register as something different to me. It was and is, enough to register as something different to others though. They did see a woman looking back.

You have been looking at you face for nearly 20 years now, so you will also see past the makeup and recognise the man underneath. The others wont see past it though, they will see your "gorgeous young lady" instead.

Just because your not the typical testosterone fuelled Alpha male, who is always competing with everyone, and cannot bear to loose, it doesnt make you TG. Its quite possible to be a sensitive, caring, and compassionate male, who just happens to be a little more in touch with his feminine side than most. To not truly feel like a woman inside, speaks volumes Martin.

Martin:

I am going to offer you a gift. Please accept it as such.

You are too young, based on what I have read so far, to be contemplating hormones. I understand that 20 is almost adulthood, but other items in your initial post give me pause.

Hormones will affect your sexual appetite. They will not change your body hair, except to soften it somewhat. You will get something that resemble breasts, but unless you have a natural predilection for them (as I discovered I did when I started), you may not get much past a B cup. If you decide to go that route, implants may be the way to go. Since I grew to nearly a C cup, I find inserts in my bra work better. In fact, if you just want to look like a woman, there are easier, less expensive, and less permanent ways to do so.

At least one of our past TW members started hormones and then wished they hadn't. Once you have grown boobs, they won't shrink...just sag a bit. And once you start on hormones, you may need to continue them for the rest of your life. Think about that, as you are going through your life.

Now, for those of us who ARE transsexual, they are a lifesaver. I cannot imagine being who I am today without them. They have modified a bit more than my chest; they have altered my thought processes. I'm not a MtF TS on hormones anymore; I'm a woman who takes them to be the woman she is.

Which, on the one hand, allows me to discuss the topic of hormones with others who have questions, but also puts me in the camp of, "Well, you took the plunge." I did--but had good cause and reason to. I am not sure I "get that" from your posts.

I want you to read three articles and a section of diary from my website, Sakuramina.com: On Starting Hormones, On The Question of Life, Transsexualism, and Everything, On My Journey Toward Womanhood, and The Hormone Diaries. I am asking you to read these, because you may find some of the answers you are seeking there. (You may not, but I'd rather have you reading them there than eating up TWeb's bandwidth by posting them here.)

If you do not feel the need to become a woman, then please...stay away from hormones.

Because, my dear, they are forever. Period.

If you want to talk more in private, please e-mail me. I have a T-Web address, as well as an e-mail address on my website.

Luv 'n hugs,

Dr. Minako Sakura

whe i was 5 i wore my first dress. i knew then i wanted to be a girl. i didn't have any second thought's. when i was twelve and heard about "the operation" i knew i had to have it. these arn't the normal thoughts of a 12 year old. i feel to this day i'm a good candidate for grs. goes to show how widely we all differ in our condition. i'm looking for permanent changes for myself. i hope you find the answers you're looking for. good luck,
sheila

If you don't 'truly feel like a woman inside' then you really don't want to have anything to do with hormones because once you start down that road you can never go back.

It sounds to me like you have some form of transgenderism but maybe you haven't quite figured out what it is yet and so are still 'experimenting' with it. you need to be very sure of what you want before you take any action.

My advice? Wait a couple of years and see how you feel then. Maybe seek the services of a consellor if you need to.

Nikki

MARTIN...

the chief of one country's transgender service says that of all the people who turn up at his clinic:
33% accept they are homosexual not T
33% accept they are CD/TV
33% are diagnosed with GD

He doesn't go on to say how many of each group go on to transition and SRS but only those GD who succeed in going down the whole pathway get the SRS they want.

So yes, you might be GD but so far we're thinking you are CD/TV still in post-puberty thrill mode.

So now you really do need to get to a psycho who knows about GD

MARTIN...

the chief of one country's transgender service says that of all the people who turn up at his clinic:
33% accept they are homosexual not T
33% accept they are CD/TV
33% are diagnosed with GD

He doesn't go on to say how many of each group go on to transition and SRS but only those GD who succeed in going down the whole pathway get the SRS they want.

So yes, you might be GD but so far we're thinking you are CD/TV still in post-puberty thrill mode.

So now you really do need to get to a psycho who knows about GD

Unless or until you can honestly say you are 100% certain and 100% committed to a permanent change in your whole life, DON'T!

Hormones will soften your features to a certain extent, but you may not be able to see this yourself, only others will.
There will be tendency to re-distribute body fat towards your chest and hips, which as you pointed out will vary with each person.
Body and facial hair can be dealt with, the more you have the longer the treatment will take, whichever method you choose.
There can be an increased risk of high blood pressure. It can affect your liver function. I don't know if stones are a side effect, I had them in my gall bladdder.
Any reputable Dr will tell you not to get implants until you have been on hormones for about three years minimum, after which time you will know how much breast tissue you are going to get from the hormones alone.
Erectile function can be maintained using low regulated doses, but the overall effects will also be diminished, and take longer. Why would you want it anyway?
I personally found little change in an already low libido, others have said they noticed a slight drop in a high libido. Bear in mind women have different appetites generally.
All the above will certainly be re-iterated by any competent gender specialist.
See one, they will often help you decide where you stand, and they diagnose with reasonable accuracy. Take any meds under supervision, with regular tests.

If you simply want to look good, there are many options, hair removal, prosthetics and classes in deportment, speech and all the other little things that go towards femininity. Get help in that direction, try out living as female for a weekend or a week, see how you feel then.

Don't, I repeat, don't, even consider it unless you really really want to, and mean it. If you have the slightest doubt about transitioning, and living the rest of your life as a woman...