Forum » Gender Society Public Forums » Transgender Youth (18 -25s) » Hi, im new, and have a question

Hi, im new, and have a question

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  • Hi everyone, ive just joined here. Im a 19 year old crossdresser. I was just wondering how we crossdressers who are straight (or lesbian, depending on how you put it) go about finding girls who like us. I mean, it seems to be a massive turn off to most girls. Has anyone had any success in this before?

    xxx
      June 18, 2008 2:06 AM BST
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  • Well I haven't had to deal with that situation, myself. I was with my current girlfriend when I came out and so I've never had to go about finding girls that were attracted (or willing to be attracted) to CD/TS.

    Anyone who is particularly attracted to CD/TS are most often creepy and fetish-y. The ones you're looking for (to put it bluntly) are people that aren't prejudiced and are open to liking people for who they are. It just varies person to person. You can't realy categorize them based on anything.

    Sorry I don't have any advice for actual questing, but I'm sure you'll figure it out. :-)

    <3 Angelyn
    "The way your heart sounds makes all the difference It's what decides if you'll endure the pain that we all feel The way your heart beats makes all the difference In learning to live Here before me is my soul I'm learning to live I won't give up Till I've no more to give" -"Learning to Live" by Dream Theater
      June 18, 2008 5:05 AM BST
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  • I can't say how you go about attracting girls since I am married and very out, but I have found women in general to be very supportive of Tgirls, often because we understand them better. That's only my experience of course.

    Nikki
    Every woman is beautiful, some show it with their faces, others show it with their hearts.
      June 18, 2008 3:02 PM BST
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  • I have to agree completely with what Angelyn said. People are going to like or dislike you based on your personality and knowledge.

    Like the tranny admirers that visit TW, there are a wide range of reasons they might like meeting TGs. Your best opportunities would be at local clubs or meeting places other TG's in your community might gather. I won't say meeting someone online is out of the question, but you just don't always know who is at the keyboard sending the messages. It is amazing how many want to see your webcam, but their's doesn't seem to be working for some odd reason.

    I happen to be a TS basically living androgynous right now. I find women talk to me more than ever now and the ones that I eventually tell I'm TS have been great about it. I believe it is because they interpret it as I don't pose a threat to them.

    Another thing is don't get carried away believing GLBT means gays, lesbians, bi and transgendered all get along. Gays tend to like guys, lesbians like girls, bi....hmm not sure about them, and we are us. GLBT will likely not judge you for what you do, but they will like or dislike you for who you are. Chances are you already new that but were hoping for the magic spot to meetup with welcoming girls. I honestly don't think that place exists.

    Best Wishes,
    Marsha
      June 18, 2008 5:54 PM BST
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  • thanks girls. Yeah, I know it's all subjective and stuff. I don't think it's necessarily fair to call people who are specifically attracted to transgendered people creepy - it's just an unusual kink they have, a bit like us enjoying dressing up in girls clothes is unusual but not creepy.

    When I'm dressed as a girl sometimes I think I'd like to be with a guy just so that I'd be even more girly, but never because I'm actually attracted to them. I don't think that's a good enough reason to go looking for guys, hence my interest in girls who like trannys.
      July 6, 2008 11:28 PM BST
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  • Victoria, you just need to get out there and circulate, that's the only way for people (GG's or otherwise) to get to know you. Just be yourself.

    Nikki
    Every woman is beautiful, some show it with their faces, others show it with their hearts.
      July 7, 2008 2:12 PM BST
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  • Hi Victoria, I have a suggestion. Try going to some tranny nite clubs. You're from Oxford, UK so are not so far away from Pink Punters near Milton Keynes and The mummy of them all, The Wayout Club in London.

    If you look around the room, you will usually see quite a few RG's (or GG's) and they will often be the only ones who are wearing trousers.

    And if they have bothered to pay the entrance fee to get into a club like that, you can bet it's not a mistake - they are there to pick up a t-girl.

    If you start a relationship with someone you've met in a tranny club, then you will never have to face the agony of coming out, years down the line, as many do.

    Go for it!

    Hugs,

    Katie x
    PS That's a tip from my forthcoming book - available soon!
    Success is the ability to go from one failure to the next without any loss of enthusiasm!
      July 7, 2008 9:34 PM BST
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  • lol Katie - shameless plug !
      July 8, 2008 1:24 AM BST
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  • thanks! One more question: what's an RG and a GG? I'm assuming one's male and one's female admirers? But what does it stand for?
      July 13, 2008 7:22 PM BST
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  • Victoria,

    Like everyone else, we tend to use "shorthand" for phrases that we use regularly, so it's totally understandable, as a fairly new sister, that you're not "up to speed" with our abreviations.

    So, RG & GG, actually are the same (just different people use different "shorthand")

    GG ........................ Genetic Girl
    RG ........................ "Real" Girl.

    In other words, people who were born genetically female.

    Hope this explains any confusion you may have had.

    Hugs,
    Angela. xx.
    What matter if I stand alone? I wait with joy the coming years; My heart shall reap where it has sown, And garner up it's fruit of tears.
      July 13, 2008 7:37 PM BST
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  • Hi Victoria,

    It might be worthwhile checking the 'trannychat abbreviations' to help bring you up to speed with some of our language here. You can find them using the pink drop down menus, go to Trannychat then select the abbreviations. They aren't all in regular use but you may find them useful.

    Nikki
    Every woman is beautiful, some show it with their faces, others show it with their hearts.
      July 13, 2008 8:37 PM BST
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  • Hey! I have had the same crisis as you are facing, as I want to come out but I also want women to be attracted to me. I understand why women would be turned off to me dressed up, as I am typically turned off to women who are dressed in pants, etc. However, openness is critical in a healthy relationship, and if a woman is not willing to accept the way you are, then she is not worth being with. I have never come out openly, but have always told my girlfriends after a few months of dating. Both of them took it well, and were extremely helpful. I am now safely with my girlfriend to where I am considering going public, safe in the knowledge that I no longer have to attract women, but I don't expect to dress up every day, just as I don't expect her to dress up every day. Basically, if you really want women to come after you, it seems like you need to suck it up and wear the pants, but you definitely cannot hide it in a relationship for long. If she is not comfortable with you as you are, maybe you should reconsider the relationship. This should be a minor thing, just like politics, and if it becomes divisive than it wasn't meant to happen.

    On a side note, don't go out and get a girlfriend just because you want the safety to dress up. That's a very bad idea.

    Stan
      October 21, 2009 3:51 AM BST
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