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Am I reading too much into this?

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  • Sometimes it takes a person to be outside of a situation to see events plainly. There is a woman, a very attractive woman, but as far as I am aware a married woman, who is very friendly towards me. At least that's how I see it. Another friend of mine has suggested there is more to it than that. I know she likes to touch me. More specifically she likes to rub me. She rubs my arm, my chest, my legs. And likes to hug me when she is cold. Earlier this week she insisted on giving me a lift home even though I was only a few hundred yards from my flat. When I got into the car she played an Andy Williams track. I don't remember the title but it is the one that starts - you're just too good to be true. Anyway, earlier today I met her at the gym and she presented me with a gift. It was a copy of the cd that had been playing in the car. She said it was so I would think of her when I played it. So the question really is - is she just being friendly? Or am I being naive and now have a dilemma? How would you view it?
    Porscha
      August 3, 2008 1:24 AM BST
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  • Uhmmm, I vote for naive and now have a dilemma. But then again I honestly believe someone could make a blatant pass at me and I would miss it, lol.
    Hugs,
    Marsha
      August 3, 2008 1:35 AM BST
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  • porscha,

    In my humble opinion :

    Isn't she being a little too friendly?
    more i think about it the answer is yes..... i have some really close friends who are female - and they don't behave like that . that is i think the behaviour you describe goes beyond platonic friendship

    hope that helps
    vikki xx



      August 3, 2008 8:54 AM BST
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  • That is a pretty tough one Porscha, she could just be very friendly, inspite of the often cynical world we live in some people are still very genuine and people often believe there must be another motive.

    I think the important thing here is that you aren't giving her any reason to believe that there is something more between you both. (Unless that's what you want).

    Nikki

    Every woman is beautiful, some show it with their faces, others show it with their hearts.
      August 3, 2008 12:21 PM BST
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  • Andy Williams! Quick, put all that exercise in the gym to good use! Run, run, run...

    More seriously; I'm a subtle as a brick in these sort of circumstances - once I get beyond the nervous anxiety stage. So just gently ask her what your heart tells you to ask.
    Rachel
    a girl at heart and a proper person too
      August 3, 2008 4:45 PM BST
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  • Porscha--

    There is a difference between being friendly and being an outright flirt. From your post this person sounds like she's got the warm fuzzies for you.

    Is there a dilemma? Do you like this person? In your opinion has it gotten too far out of hand, or is it too far too fast? So she's married...does that matter? Should that matter? Is she attracted to you as a man or as Porscha?

    Perhaps you represent a challenge to her...?

    Finally--if you're not sure...I'd put the skids on this in a big hurry. Be gentle--but be firm. If this is not what you want, beat feet.

    Luv 'n hugs,

    Mina Sakura
    Living as the woman I am!
      August 4, 2008 3:50 PM BST
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  • Hiya porscha,
    Lots of opinions for you to consider. I would like you to consider one more.

    I think she has got a crush on you. We all remember what its like to have a crush on someone, how many of us have had the pleasure of realising someone has a crush on us.

    Sometimes these fascinations go as quickly as they came. Sometimes these fascinations end in tears and heartbreak. Sometime the result in love. Its how life is.

    What do you want?
    Just an ordinary girl finding her way in this strange life. - What will it take to get everyone to realise that everyone else is also a human being that deserves just as much respect? - How does someone tell their doctor they have hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia? - When I was a student I specialised in Alcopology. It always starts with Alco and always ends with pology. - Waiter! There's a hare in my rabbit pie!
      August 4, 2008 5:48 PM BST
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  • 1195
    Porscha - I agree with Penny - this woman may have a crush on you. You say she rubs you a lot - perhaps she is just able to this with you and not with her spouse. Some men can be cold clams.
    If you're able to hold a conversation -I'd ask her what she expects from you, in this friendship.
    Could be she's shopping for a new partner.
    Check out the husband - make sure he isn't a policeman, soldier, sumo-wrestler, prize fighter or insanely jealous of anyone who is friendly with his wife.
    <p>If it isn't fun - don't do it.</p>
      August 5, 2008 3:08 PM BST
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  • Thanks for all your comments and advice. They pretty much confirm what I thought and feared. The dilemma in this is that a relationship is out of the question. Not because she is married. I've had affairs before so I'm not going to pretend to be a paragon of virtue here.; and the psychopaths tend to be the ones I date. Rather an affair would indicate sex and I cannot contemplate having a sexual relationship with her. When she touches me I go a little cold and have to be conscious not to pull away. I know how much that sort of reaction can hurt. But I can't deny I enjoy the attention. So at what point do I tell her to stop and cease being so ridiculous. But then have I just misread the entire situation and will simply end up making myself look a fool. Is this just girly flirtation? Is this her way of trying to understand me? Or is she just patronising me? Because she is aware of who and what I am. Though she knows me as a man from the gym - believe me after 2 or 3 hours down the gym I look like a man. Maybe not a very attractive or masculine one, but a man all the same. However, she has seen Porscha at a party and knows the androgynous way I dress normally. Actually, this throws up a couple of interesting sub-texts. Why hasn't she mentioned this fact. Thinking about it now that seems really peculiar. Also, she is not the only woman showing me undue attention at the moment. There is a bit of jealous rivalry there which is a bit embarrassing for me. But it leads on to an interesting question which is probably best dealt with in another thread. Why would a heterosexual woman be interested at all, not in me specifically, but someone like me? That's a topic worth musing upon.
    As to the question - what do I want? The answer is simple: a beautiful, bright, spirited tgirl with a good heart to share my life and my bed with. But I gave up on that a long time ago.
    Porscha
      August 7, 2008 4:45 PM BST
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  • Porscha--

    **grins**

    Sounds like you have another interesting topic--GG rivalry with us TG/TS girls. Might be worth expanding and posting on elsewhere--

    As for what's happening...you're pretty insightful; you know deep inside your heart what you need to do.

    Luv 'n hugs,

    Mina
    Living as the woman I am!
      August 7, 2008 5:36 PM BST
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