My Georgia Neighbors

    • 1912 posts
    November 11, 2008 6:20 PM GMT
    Just ask for the ' GEORGIA CUT'

    Brand new edition of...
    'You know you're a redneck when......


    1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

    2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

    3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

    4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

    5. You think 'The Nutcracker' is a vice on the work bench.

    6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

    7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

    8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

    9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

    10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

    11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

    12. Your grandmother has 'ammo' on her Christmas list.

    13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

    14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

    15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

    16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

    17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

    18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

    19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

    20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

    21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

    22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

    23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say 'Cool Whip' on the side.

    24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

    25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

    26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

    27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

    28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

    29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

    30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
    • 404 posts
    November 11, 2008 8:56 PM GMT
    Marsha- is this based on personal experience.................??????

    lol

    Lynn H.
    • 1912 posts
    November 11, 2008 9:09 PM GMT
    No Lynn, I'm a southern belle, not a redneck, lol.
    • 1195 posts
    November 12, 2008 7:08 PM GMT
    Fantastic - I'm sending it to all my relatives - Georgia doesn't have a monopoly on rednecks you know?
    hugs
    Gracie
    • 2017 posts
    November 11, 2008 7:44 PM GMT
    I was eating when I read that and nearly choked!! Very good Marsha.

    Nikki
    • 2127 posts
    November 11, 2008 9:44 PM GMT
    Very funny Marsha. I was on the floor!

    By the way, I love your new profile photo! You've come a long way.

    Hugs,

    Katie x
    • Moderator
    • 2627 posts
    November 12, 2008 1:02 AM GMT
    Marsha
    Loved the jokes.
    Southern Bell
    I've allways wanted to wear one of those dresses with the big flowing skirt & all the ruffels.
    Like in gone with the wind. But the corsettes they had to wear than were killers.