A Mercedes driver was waiting for the stop light to change, when a VW Beetle pulled up next to him. The driver of the Beetle yelled over "Hey - you got a phone in there?" The Mercedes driver answered "Yes, natrally." The Beetle driver said "Me too." The Beetle driver then yelled "You got a TV in there?" The Mercedes driver responded "Yes; it's the latest plasma screen HDTV." The Beetle driver said "Me too." Then the Beetle driver yelled "You got a double bed in there?" The Mercedes driver answered "No." The Beetle driver said "Well, I do."
The light changed to green and the Beetle took off. The Mercedes driver felt hurt, not having a double bed in his automobile so, he went to the dealer and had a double bed installed in his Mercedes.
The Mercedes driver decided he must tell the Beetle driver that his Mercedes was as good as, if not better than, the Beetle. He searched all over town for about three weeks. Finally, he spotted the Beetle in a parking lot and drove next to it. The windows of the Beetle were all steamed over but the Mercedes driver knocked anyway. After rapping on the window a second time, the window was rolled down a few inches. The Beetle driver yelled out the window "Yeah, what do you want?" The Mercedes driver said "I wanted to tell you I've had a double bed installed in my Mercedes."
The Beetle driver responded .......

(wait for it)





"You called me out of the shower to tell me that?"

hugs
Gracie

Superman and Wonderwoman have a baby...they dont know whether its a boy or a girl, they can't catch it....

Sandra x

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.

He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him .........................


A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis!!!


Nikki

There's always the one about the dyslexic drunk who walked into a bra.

Hugs...Joni Marie

Who said Germans do not have a sense of humour, this was a joke told to me by Dieter a dear freind who lived in the same apartment block as us in Altona in Hamburg.

Stefan a Russian soldier, in training, was a danger to himself and to his fellow soldiers in arms. during shooting practice one day his aim was so diverse that his officer decided to confiscate his rifle and substitue it for a lump of wood. When Stefan got upset his officer told him to shout bang, bang, everytime he pointed at a German soldier. Stefan being a tad slow at understanding logic and common sense, wa satisfied.

Some months later he was in action on the russian front, Everytime he pointed his lump of wood and shouted bang, bang by coincidence anothers bullet killed his intended target, elated Stefan grew braver with every bang. The officer ordered his men to fix baypnets and prepare to charge the enemy, for Stefan this was a set back, obviously having no bayonet, quizzing his officer, the officer replied, every time you make a thrust with your lump of wood shout stab, stab. Stefan smiled, he had a lot of success with the bang bang, why should the stab stab, be any different.

Bullets werre flying all around when the order was given to charge, Stefan was up the front, bang banging away, stab stab, enemy soldiers falling all around him tripping in the mud or being hit by stray bullets. Suddendly Stefan saw a collosus of a German soldier, momentarily Stefan was flumoxed, then ran headlong for the German shouting bang, bang, bang, stab stab stab
the German jugernaut came on regardless not even faltering in his tracks, Stab stab went Stefan again, Suddenly poor Stefan was crushed to the ground and squished to death, As the German steamed through the Russian lines he was heard saying
boom boom panzer.

Nikki we had his great grandson working in the cloakroom of the club I used to work in called Mahatma coat.

LMAO Chrissie!!

Nikki

Why don't cannibals like to eat clowns? They taste funny.

Hugs...Joni Marie