April 2, 2009 8:51 PM BST
A young woman, who happens to be blond, goes to the beauty parlor for a hair cut.
When the beautician is ready to start he asks the young woman to remove her head phones.
She replies "I can't. Can you just work around them?"
The hair dresser complies but runs into difficulty and again says "The ear phones are in the way. Can they be removed now?" She says "No. It's a matter of life and death, that I wear them."
He says ok and finally finishes the hair cut.
He asks if he might listen to whatever she's been listening to.
She agrees.
(answer below)
"Breath in, breath out."
hug
Gracie
April 28, 2009 7:28 PM BST
How do you know a blonde is using a computer?
'White out' on the screen.
(Ok, I know it's lame, but it's the only blonde joke I can ever remember!)
April 28, 2009 8:43 PM BST
I am rather intrigued by blonde jokes..perhaps for an obvious reason. Yours especially caught my attention. Now where did I leave those head phones?? Enjoy your day...blondes and others!!
roni
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
hugs
Gracie
April 3, 2009 2:49 AM BST
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who attempted to drive to EuroDisney?
A: She saw a sign saying: "EuroDisney Left" so she went home.
Did you hear about the blonde who put under Education on her job application, 'Hooked On Phonics'...
Q: What did the blonde girl name her pet Zebra?
A: Spot.
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the pedestrian sign said "DON'T WALK".
Q: What does a blonde Owl say?
A: What, what?
Q: What do you see when you look directly into a blonde's eyes?
A: The back of her head.
Q: What did the Dumb Blonde do when she went to a film that had an NC-17 (no under 17's) rating? A: Went home and got 16 friends.
Q: What do you call a blond behind a steering wheel?
A: An air bag.
Q: How do you tell if a blonde writes Mysteries?
A: She's got a checkbook.
Q: How can you tell a FAX has been sent from a blonde?
A: There's a stamp on it.
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: Threw it off a cliff.
Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: Keep breakin em' with hammers.
Q: What's the difference between blondes and McDonald's?
A: A blonde serves more people in a night.
Q: What happens when a blonde developes Alzheimers?
A: Her IQ goes up.
Q: Why are there no dumb brunettes?
A: Peroxide.
Q: What's the guaranteed method to totally confuse a Blonde Man?
A: Ask him to alphabetise a King-size bag of M&Ms.
Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.
Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it.
Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blondes head?
A: A Space Invader.
Q: What's the difference between a dumb blonde and a supermarket trolley?
A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: Manages to get the Pop Tarts out the toaster in one piece.
Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.
April 3, 2009 12:50 PM BST
This reminds me of my blond friend who phoned me to help her with a jigsaw puzzle.
"It has a picture of a tiger on the box but all the pieces look the same!" she said.
I took a deep breath, and told her to put all the cornflakes back in the box and I would be right over.
Nikki
April 28, 2009 8:50 PM BST
Speaking of puzzles, did you hear about the blonde who was so proud of herself because she completed a puzzle in only six months, especially because the puzzle said 5-7 years on the box.
Did you hear about the blonde terrorist who was sent out to blow up a bus and burned her lips on the tailpipe?
Hi Roni-
I have heard of jokes like this being called "zipper jokes" because you can "zip" in any group you want as the butt of the joke. Blondes, polacks, your office manager; your blonde, polack, office manager, whoever.
Hugs...Joni Marie
Mary Grace-
ROTFL!
Hugs...Joni Marie
The blonde that thought 5 pieces of fruit a day consisted of:-
Apple pie.
Lemon cheesecake
Cherry Danish
Bannofee pie
and a Terrys chocolate orange
Why do knickers have a rose bud or bow on the front?
So blondes getting dressed in dark alleys don't put their thongs on backwards
August 5, 2009 5:20 PM BST
Mary Grace,
I liked that one!
Didn't see the punchline coming at all.....
Best,
Melody
