Just to update a bit, it is now almost two months from the start and I have stayed tea-total for almost one month. We had a major crisis about a week ago which, I am happy to say, was sorted out through lengthy Skype video calls during the weekend. It had nothing to do with any TG issues, those are not a problem at all.

The video calls are just about a daily routin and I, for one, feel miserable if we miss a single day. We sometimes talk intensively but on occasions each of us does whatever needs to be done with the computer and the conversation is more or less casual, really like we were sitting in the same room each occupied with one's own computer. I appear as my girly self in the webcam which illustrates more than well that there is no problem in that department. Also, she does not have a problem that I do not remove the polish from my toenails or change into male underwear when we meet IRL.

Both of us are more than happy with the physical part. To spell it out as it is, it is the best experience I ever remember having. It must be because of the high level of emotions involved.

I obviously do not know where all of this is going. I guess the best thing is not to have many thoughts about what is going to happen. Enjoying the present is the best thing to do, concidering the sky is clear and blue at this moment.

I am lucky to recently have met a wonderful lady, whose mind, character, humour and opinions match to mine almost up to 100 %. She knows that I am a "special lady" and she does not mind. In fact she is very supportive and there is a reasonable chance that something extraordinary is going to develop of this all.

I have read a lot of encouraging accounts of relationships where the TG part has entered when the relationship has been going on for some time, shorter or longer. I would appreciate any first (or second for that matter) hand experience about how to build up a fresh relationship where the cards are on the table from the beginning. Any special considerations I should be aware of?

We have spent hours talking not only about TG (which does not seem to be a problem) but issues that are or may become problems for us. Both of us want us to success but there are hurdles that I need to overcome, not her. I am talking about my hitherto excessive drinking. I need to quit most of my drinking if not all of it. Eventually I'll also need to give up smoking because my true love has a severe asthma. This is also for my own good, of course, and I really want to make an effort to make both of us happy. I know it is a hell of a job but a girl has to do what a girl has to do.

All my previous relationships (and there are quite a few of them) have ended in a disaster. None of the other parties have known about my CD. That may be a part of the reason why I never succeeded but definitely not all of it. This time I did not want to take any chances so I came out right away. Looks like I made the right choice but how to continue from here?

I am very grateful for any advise you can offer.

Tiina,

That sounds like a great start to the relationship.

Keeping the communication open and being able to share such an important part of your life is fantastic.

Wish you all the best!

Talia.

Thanks Talia!

I have no intention to tell a lie or keep anything from my love. We have spent hours to talk about anything and everything regarding ourselves and each other. I dare say that after a month she knows me better than anybody who has known me for decades, including my sisters in flesh and blood.

Tiina
Speaking from experience, you are on the right track, keep communications open. Become a good listener.
Smoking is a tough habit to break but don't give up, you can do it.
I had to quit when I realized it was causing me more health problems than I had realized.
Drinking should be easier than smoking.
Analyse all the feelings and motions you go through to reach the point you need a drink(or smoke).
Habits are hard to break but if you can replace a piece of the ritual with some action which is not destructive, the habit will slowly break down.
I did quite a bit of graduate work in Behavior Modification - not brain washing - habit and behavior changes. The process is slow but if you stick with it, the desires to smoke or drink to excess will disappear.
Good luck
hugs
Gracie

Thanks, Mary Grace! Your advice seems to make all the sense int the World.

Staying sober and thus being able to contribute to our relationship is number one priority at the moment. Thats is why I am focusing at the booze. Breaking two dependences at the same time might be too much. We have also discussed these priorities. It is always possible to arrange smoking in a way that does not hurt her (as in going out for a fag and not keeping my clothes in smokey interriors) but I can possibly not drink and stay sober at the same time.

Karen, she is clean and so will I. It is all or nothing, I am afraid.

I have noticed Glo on line in Skype several times but for obvious reasons not been able to have a talk with her. :-) Please say hello to her if you get the chance before I do.

Good for you hun. Drinking is VERY hard on a relationship.
A little social drinking is OK but only when your out with her.
That helps to keep you from drinking more than is good for you.

No need to be afraid. clean living itself won't kill you.
I was alcohol free for almost 10yrs. I lived through it.

I was on the phone with Glo yesterday & like me she is very happy for you.
Like you said, don't worry to much about tomorrow or you won't be able to injoy today.