What kind of life, do we see for ourselves in our golden years..... grow old gracefully? With an aging body, and more medical problems facing us. Gosh, with all the cosmetic surgery, and hair removal I have had, I was not ready for all these extra problems.
Do we want to be alone, or be with a S.O.( if this is possible)?
Three years ago when I hit 60, I had a major turning point in my life, I had to make a decision on the direction I was headed, what did I want in the last part of my life.......another identity crises? No, just reality. These issues can be as profound, as others we have faced in our lives, as I found out.
I was going to post some of this in the depression and suicide post, but it belonged here, I read most of that post, What I did not see was, when I was at that point, there was a sense of peace, tranquility, a way out that was so comforting. I did pull myself back for a second, and looked at my revolver (cried) put one shell in, spun the chamber and thought, if it is my time to go then so it shall be, and pulled the trigger. I then put myself into therapy, but it still sits very comfortably in my mind, or should I say, haunt? This cross we carry, does not get easier as we get older, it gets compounded. I actually thought things were easier when I was younger...... the direction clear? Are we ever, really clear about this point?
Something to ponder......Huggs ...Tammy

Well Tammy, I'm only 55 years young (at least for a couple more months!). I did very recently post in the suicide forum. The one thing that I expect in my transition is peace of mind, finally being myself. I'd at least like to truly enjoy even a small part of my life being me, and not forcing myself to be what I am not. I have a s.o., but I won't when I transition, that was made clear about eleven years ago.
Transitioning while one is young is much easier in the long run. The younger one is, the easier it will be to work out employment, financial, and familial issues as one progresses. From what I've read on several boards in various TG sites, quite of few young people in their teens and 20's don't quite see it that way. I understand their frustrations, but I guess when you reach our age, hindsight approaches 20/20.
I expect that as I age I will deal with declining health, though I've been blessed so far as I very rarely get ill. I will have to deal with employment issues, which are already more difficult due to my age. That in turn will effect my financial outlook. My impending divorce when I begin HRT will directly impact on where I'll be living and those associated costs. Of course, there's the prospect that at my age I may not look as feminine as I'd like, though genetics will have a lot to do with that.
In the end, however, I will be me. I find a great deal of comfort in that. I will be a couple years older by the time I undergo GRS, and I may well be one ugly woman, but at least I'll be me. I know there are women here older than myself that are surely happy with their lives and the choice they've made. Hugs.

I'm 50 going on 29. No seriously the golden years are eventually going to be here for me as well. I believe we need to look long term with what we want out of our lives. Although I believe transition goes on the rest of your life, having comfort in being yourself really plays an insignificant part for the long term. I know for those early in or about to transition, the thought of finally living as yourself is full of excitement. It should be and I hope it goes well for everyone. But life goes on, bills need to be paid and the garbage needs taken out. The newness of it all eventually wears off and reality settles in. I think we all find ourselves in routines of our making so you can be as busy as you want or as bored as you want. I believe life is about having friendships and certainly during transition a circle of friends is critical. So along with my family, I hope to have a circle of friends to reminisce with. A great way to find friends is to participate in community activities or to volunteer throughout your community. I attend a church that has accepted me with open arms. Beyond friends I cannot think of much else I want out of my senior trans years.

Hugs,
Marsha

Sad and powerful stuff, Tammy Brianne...the gun part really struck me, but really didn't shock me...
Even the "is this possible?" to live with an SO is no shocker...Still these are very real issues and very important ones too! Thx for sharing!!!

I often wonder where I will be mentally if I grow elderly, I'm already close to senior now....funny, today I unexpectedly visited an old burial ground (1600s) and I thought of my own mortality...it just made me want to enjoy life even more and smile while I still can... Life is a limited offer...

Losing your looks happens to everyone, whether you are Trans or not. Losing your sex appeal happens to everyone. It's just part of the deal.

Right now I just want to wake up in the morning and taste my breakfast, feel my warm shower look at the weather and dress accordingly, do my mundanes like shop and talk to the shop employees, clean my little pigpen, write anything, play my guitar, sing, dance (?), enjoy decaf with friends, see and smell the flowers, look up at the sky, smile, laugh and maybe even love. That's what I want out of my senior life.

Thanks for the input everyone,
I do believe that in today's society, options are greater, with the opportunity to come out (much more acceptance, and medical technology)
How much of the male macho persona, gets ingrained in our personality, only to resurface later in life? One has to think about this from the eye;s of an 18 year old during those times.
I graduated in 1964, when any mention of this type of life, well you know the out come. Many of us we camouflaged our true being, with substance abuse, being a tough guy, played hockey, portraying a person that no one would ever expect as being trans.( What was that in 1964)
At 18, we got drafted into the military, fell for the John Wayne effect and believed in the domino theory about Southeast Asia. These are the things that just do not go away when you start to come out at a later stage in life. Is there a solution?????
When I was taking my physical at Fort Wayne( no longer an induction center) two Sargents said " anyone checking the last box on the last page, we will have you prove it in the back room" we all wondered, well it was are you homosexual, there was very little mention at that time about Trans. I don't have to say which box got checked. These are the stereo types that we grew up with. Get a good job, get married have kids, and...... everything will be fine? You know the rest.
Now for the lighter side of aging, I was 5'10", 197lbs......when I started to come out, my weight went to 145 lbs, lost muscle mass, and shrunk to 5'7", and my Testosterone dropped to a below average level., all this happened in my 50's .......so in this area I was blessed, the doctors never could give me a good explanation for the height loss at that age,
Just a few more of the ramblings going on ........Huggs...Tammy

Hi Tammy

Now that the young girls have had their say I will give my opinion. I am 75 years old and keep reasonably fit helped by being active. I work for charity and walk 8 kms three or four times weekly. Stopped smoking 35 years ago and drink a half glass of red wine nightly except for an Irish whiskey sometimws.. I am about to go on an overseas holiday for 4 weeks with plenty of walking. I started transitioning about 3 years ago. It gets lonely living alone but I am happy. My advice is do not stay at home waiting to die. Get out and meet and mix with other people and be active. I have a body of a teenager apart from the boobs which decreased in size as a result of switching medication.

Tammy (and all others)

Great thread, luv!

**sighs**

I'll admit to being 45 this year, but have given great thought to what my life will be like 10, 15, 20 years and more down the pike. I'm both new and old to living en femme; in one sense I was growing up "girl" before I knew I had gender issues but have really only come to grips with this since roughly 1994-1995 or so. (Hey--that means I'm still a teenaged girl! )

I intend to age gracefully. I know I'll be on hormones probably until I die. I intend to live my life--either with the SO or alone--as the woman I've become, to the fullest. (I really want to surprise the docs at my autopsy.) I'll probably have a wig with some silver in it by the time I'm 55 or so, and a fully silver wig by age 65. I'm not afraid to look my age; as a lifelong epileptic I'm going to be glad to simply be alive at that point.

You shouldn't be afraid to look your age either. Nothing is sadder to me than someone my age trying to pass for a 22 year old hottie. Clothes like that were built for that size and age group for a reason. Go to the pool and look at some of these guys, middle age, spare tire, balding, in a speedo a size too small. (You'll get what I'm saying really quick...along with a case of the screaming giggles.)

But, this is something we all need to consider. None of us are getting younger, and old age ain't for sissies. (Sissies in more ways than one, I might add.)

You youngsters out there, the 18-30 crowd, you've got to think about what your life holds. Start living like a woman now, get used to it. Leave no trace of your manhood, and embrace your new life as a woman.

30-50? Enjoy what you can, when you can. At this point, better start thinking about what you might be leaving behind if you go full time. I have, and I am prepared for the consequences, including loss of income, loss of spouse, and family rejection.

50-75? Get moving. Enjoy your womanhood--you've earned it.

Everyone--please don't spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been. I'm glad I started down the road I have...I wish I could have started sooner. I wish I had known more about this sooner, to start. But, I'll take being the woman I've become/I'm becoming any day over being the man I was.

And I'm looking forward to cuuuuute young men calling me "Ma'am" in my 70's and 80's. By then, I'll have earned that right.

Luv 'n hugs,

Mina

Thanks everyone for some inspiring insights. Sorry for not getting back to this post, just some on going medical issues....Ah yes ..."getting older is not for sissies" ......you have to have a sense of humor for sure. Hopefully all this will be over by the end of the year, or shortly after.
The very point of this post, was to get a point of view from ladies in various stages of life. Hopefully, our younger sisters will look forward, and learn from those that have gone before them. My story is not so different, it just parallels the paths of so many others.
Minako, you really hit the right note .........Quote..."You youngsters out there, the 18-30 crowd, you've got to think about what your life holds. Start living like a woman now, get used to it. Leave no trace of your manhood, and embrace your new life as a woman."
This really says it all for the future of our younger sisters.
These forums enable us to pass on our trials and tribulations, and lets us realize how close nit of a community we have. Our future is really in our hands, as we so wish it to be.
Thanks everyone, your thoughts have really helped me for sure. For this, I am so grateful.

Huggs....Tammy

Hi Tammy,
the compulsory military stints had ened by the time I was a teenager so I missed the real John Wayne stuff but did all the other stuff and from late teen to late fifties presented myself as a skinheaded scruffy guy wearing shoes, jeans, sweaters that were a disgrace but most of the time it disguised the femaleness but every so ofetn someone would spot soemthing female and then the usual crap started...and I moved jobs, houses etc...I could have been one of the earliest sex changes actaully as in 1961 at 14 I did try to get the family doctor interested in my case but he ran out of house rather than talk to me or get any help - that was probably a good thing as the cure for TS then was loony bin, testo shots, electroconvulsive therapy etc..

now I've a nice new apartment, no real money worries, health is OK and I come from a line of people who all got into their eigthies so I might have a lot of good years ahead...l have lots of plans for the next couple of years and right now I' just typing out a proposal for a medcial device that maybe some medcial diagnostics sompany will pick up on so who knws...I'm not turning into a vegetable like s many 'normal' peole are...

regarding the shrinkage of our bodies its due to the fact that as the estrogen lessens the muscle it also lessens the pads of cartilage etc so the entire skeleton shrinks in...one transitioner called Bernadette over here was surprised to find the she could no longer span as many organ keys...have a look at http://www.pfc.org.uk/node/968

this estrogen effect in MtFs is the opposite of what happens with FtMs and also lesbians show a similar effect due to a trick of hormones affecting them. I'm trying to figure out if there is a corresponding effect in homosexuals but haven't found any research to back me up yet..

Interestingly I now find that my days aren't long enough...

Rose