Hi Mike/Stephanie,

I liked your story. I think maybe I understand your TW icon a little better now.
I'm curious what the assignment was in the creative writing class that you were taking?
I'm also a science fiction fan and back in high school I wrote a short story about a human on Mars who was carrying a military message across the red sands in the midst of a Earth vs. Martians battle. The assignment was to write a story about the postman delivering a letter....

Best,
Melody

Hi M/S,

Ha! What can I say? A thoroughly enjoyable read. The title is intriguing enough to captivate attention that's for sure. I liked the style, I enjoyed the wit - gentle, prodding, exploring.

Did it pass the ultimate test? Yes it did. It made me want to read more, learn more. There was certainly an empathy for your characters.

Down side? Well, not sure about the age of your protagonist. A little old maybe? Or maybe I am!

As you know this is a new forum. Part of its role, I hope, will be as a place to critique work for those who would like it. At the moment I've not quite figured out how to do that without spoiling the reading for those who just want to read other peoples work. Also I want to introduce a few rules as to how people critique so we all get the best out of it.

For those reasons I've kept my comments vague - but the positive feeling about it is correct - you might want to re-read it though and correct a couple of the little places where you've missed out a word. The usual computer stuff!

Anyway, I hope you have more where that came from...

Rae x

Hi Jellene,

Don't worry, no post or thread in the CW forum will ever be too old to be added to!

Feel free to post and ask questions...

Rae x