Forum » Gender Society Public Forums » General Forum » Having thoughts of suicide?

Having thoughts of suicide?

Tags : None
  • In light of recent and macabre news I feel I need to say a few words. I have chosen to start a new thread as I didn’t want to change the nature of the thread where the news is released to allow people to express their thoughts without diluting the nature of the thread.

    The reason for this thread is to give a little knowledge to people who have thoughts of suicide or for people who knows someone going through difficulties and the knowledge here could be a helpful suggestion.

    We as transgendered people face more difficulties than our fair share and some of us are pushed to our limits in trying to find answers to our questions and solutions to our problems as well as some coping with self hate and loathing of being born the way we are.

    The stress and strain of this can lead to overbearing feelings and after a while the thought of suicide can become more and more a viable option to end the pain.

    Another difficulty that compounds the overbearing feelings is that talking about suicide is a taboo subject. Whenever it is mentioned people jump to their side, try to analyse why they feel the way they do and come up with endless solutions in trying to change the way they feel, which in turn makes it all worse, especially when its said "pull your self together, you'll get over it." These people, friends, who are only trying to help tend to forget, or don’t know, that having thoughts of suicide is a perfectly normal human reaction to not being able to cope with overbearing feelings. There’s nothing wrong with having thoughts of suicide. We live in a free society and our greatest liberty is the freedom to commit suicide and anyone who says contrary to this unfortunately is not giving anyone their freedom or liberty.

    The good news, which is especially important, is that there are ways to help anyone cope with overbearing feelings and thoughts of suicide.

    Its a proven statistic that talking about suicide does not make people commit suicide. In fact talking about suicide has the opposite affect. It’s the people who keep it bottle up inside and who don’t talk about it who tend to end their life. Talking helps alleviate the feelings and often life can continue a little bit more bearable. They just need to find someone who wont jump in with all the answers.

    In the UK there is a charity called the Samaritans. They have trained listeners who will help anyone cope with their overbearing feelings. It is completely confidential and they don’t judge or make assumptions. They will accept and listen to anyone, whoever and however they are. They will help anyone talk about their feelings and explore what is causing them and allow them to explore their options. They provide an open platform and the freedom to explore feelings without interference.

    The Samaritans aren’t there to literally save lives. The Samaritans are there to talk about feelings that in turn help reduce suicides.

    In the US I believe a similar organisation is called the TrevorProject.

    I hope this might help someone.
    Love
    Penny
    This is personal information and in no way affiliated with any organisation.

    Maybe anyone could post other organisations and charities, maybe from other countries too, that help this way could be of benifit to someone.

    Just an ordinary girl finding her way in this strange life. - What will it take to get everyone to realise that everyone else is also a human being that deserves just as much respect? - How does someone tell their doctor they have hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia? - When I was a student I specialised in Alcopology. It always starts with Alco and always ends with pology. - Waiter! There's a hare in my rabbit pie!
      April 5, 2010 4:10 PM BST
    0
  • It is always disheartening to hear about anyone taking their own life, and even more sad when it happens to be someone in your community. You have made some excellent points Penny. To help prevent suicide requires someone to talk, and another person to listen. Most of us are not trained in what to look or listen for and it is not always obvious someone is in trouble. Therefore we should not blame ourselves for actions taken by others. But like Penny said, we need to know how to talk about it and not allow it to be a taboo subject. The biggest support we can give here is encouragement. Encourage those who appear to need help to seek help and not fear it. And above all, take some time to listen. Most of us probably think we have our own problems so who wants to hear anyone else's, but often times our problems are nothing compared to others.

    I've been on the edge. I found someone to listen. It works.

    Hugs,
    Marsha

    United States only
    The Trevor Project http://www.thetrevorproje[...]e2.aspx
    Helpline:

    UK
    Samaritans http://www.samaritans.org/
      April 5, 2010 8:18 PM BST
    0
  • 1195
    Good post Penny and excellent info
    I was lucky - I found a good listener when I needed to get my life moving again. I'll always be thankful.
    Marsha - thanks

    hugs
    Gracie
    <p>If it isn't fun - don't do it.</p>
      April 5, 2010 9:18 PM BST
    0
  • Depression, which so often leads to suicide, is impossible to explain to someone who hasn't endured it. I go to bed every night with no desire to wake up in the morning. That is the best way I can explain it. Being able to talk to someone is one thing, being able to talk to someone who understands is another. Trust is everything.
    Porscha
      April 5, 2010 10:31 PM BST
    0
  • Very good information, and links everyone.
    As good as the internet is for information, and discovery about our identity. I think this also can be a hindrance to ones suicidal thoughts that go beyond thoughts.

    I hope this helps someone.
    Porscha, I do so relate. How am I going to get through this life, with my sanity intact, a constant struggle. Alcohol failed. People just seem to be so busy to talk one on one any more. This is where I think the negative side of the internet comes in.

    Out ward appearance can be faked so easily. I have made three attempts, the last one one came close. Talking is a problem, when one needs to talk, people are to busy, or they don't recognize your in trouble. Then I get quite, go through the motions. I know my routine, then I am in trouble and won't talk. I know where I am headed, but don't care, that feeling of euphoria that it can be over, is so overwhelming!!!!
    Your right Porscha, nobody knows, until they have been there.

    Tammy........ on her serious side of life.
    <p>A life without purpose, is a life without reason!</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;myspace.com/tammybrianne</p>
      April 6, 2010 5:40 AM BST
    0
  • Hugs Tammy.

    I was trying to find the link to the previous debate on suicide. contained a lot of references to sin and how so not right it is, how much it hurts those left behind and how selfish it is, but unless a person has been there, They realy have no idea. The I'm happy mob making inane coments and giving advice. People getting that low, desperate, the feeling of being abandoned rejected, not exactly in the frame of mind to think how those left behind are gonna feel. probably more inclined to think ''everyone will be better off without me''

    Cristine
    Cristine Jennifer Shye.  B/L.  B/Acc
      April 6, 2010 11:06 AM BST
    0
  • 2 2627
    Tammy we live farely close to each other. Anytime you might want to meet for coffee & a talk just email me.
    Having gone through depression alone for so long I know.
    <p>Karen Brad</p>
      April 6, 2010 11:30 AM BST
    0
  • Thanks Cristine,
    I have always valued your thoughts and advice. Your advice hits home, but then there are times, everything just does not matter.

    And thanks Karen, I will keep your offer in mind. Right now I am on the right track, but .....god do I know how fast things decline.

    Hugs to everyone....Tammy
    <p>A life without purpose, is a life without reason!</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;myspace.com/tammybrianne</p>
      April 6, 2010 4:05 PM BST
    0
  • 2 2627
    Tammy I might ask you for a talk at sometime.
    <p>Karen Brad</p>
      April 6, 2010 4:22 PM BST
    0
  • Any time Karen, you have my hotmail address. I can send my phone number through that.


    Huggs to everyone on this subject......Tammy
    <p>A life without purpose, is a life without reason!</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;myspace.com/tammybrianne</p>
      April 7, 2010 7:22 PM BST
    0
  • I've been away for a week or so, working on music projects and I was saddened to hear of yet another life lost in this way. I'm not sure we ever chatted, but my heart goes out to her family and friends, as I contemplate how close I came to that fate, and how fortunate I've been on my haphazard journey through life. surely the goddess protected this fool.
    it all makes me think back on events in my life as I have explored them with the most loving therapist I was bledded to meet by chance.
    when I was quite young, I was an introverted, bookish outcast, partly by choice, as I found myself repelled by the social status quo of rural nebraska. long story short, a confused and depressed child tried to hang himself. saved by own ineptness, my improvised tree branch gallows snapped, and I fell. far enough to knock the wind out of me and leave a substantial knot on my head. maybe the concussion knocked some sense into me, maybe I was just defeated. I explained away the injury easily enough, and never shared the truth with anyone for decades. it was a primitive time in many ways, maybe more primative because of the rural mindset. words and concepts like transgender, and transition were unknown, at least to me, in any real sense. certainly there was no gendersociety.com, there wouldn't even be an internet for years.
    and years went by. the world evolved. part of me evolved, and part of me was seemingly forever stuck in that backwards time. I still walked the same deer trails along the rivers and creeks, enjoying the solitude, though now my thoughts wandered through the dynamics of gender indentity and sexuality in ways I could never have conceived in my youth.
    and I found myself getting depressed a lot. even to the point where playing music didn't cheer me up. I had been through the full gamut of drug addictions, and somehow weaned myself from their insidious grasp, and remembered full well the depression of withdrawal, but this was different. it scared me. badly enough that I called a local suicide hotline, and was lucky enough to meet the most wonderful hard luck case taking therapist anyone could ask for. a successful psychologist who walked away from a lucrative career to help her community.
    and it seems we learn from each other. gender dysphoria was not something she had occasion to address in her practice, though as it came out in my sessions, she has taken it upon herself to acquire knowledge and resources that have been invaluable to me on my journey. when I decided to try to self medicate, she recommended a doctor to monitor my health, going so far as to set up a dual consultation ( and lecture) as well as telling me about some of the gender clinics within reasonable distance, though my situation would have to change fairly drastically for me to take advantage of them.
    at any rate, I have been very lucky in my life, as a wise person once said, "there but for the grace of god, go i"
    much love, toni
    toni
      April 12, 2010 3:21 AM BST
    0
  • Toni,
    Thanks to the goddess you found your vision through this maze that we all wander. Life paths so different but so much the same, distance so far but all so close. I find my life so disillusioned, then see it so clearly, through the stories of my sisters of common ground.
    Thanks for sharing your story, it's comforting to know how others thread their way through to their gender identity. All the trials and tribulations that follow such parallel journey's. We are one, but so many.
    Huggs...Tammy
    <p>A life without purpose, is a life without reason!</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;myspace.com/tammybrianne</p>
      April 12, 2010 5:27 AM BST
    0
  • After reading the SUICIDE of Algernon when I was 19, I doubt I'd ever do suicide.

    http://www.galactic-server.com/rampa/rambeliv.html

    Although, since my estrogen level has gone up I've had a few very unfamiliar moments.

    Saw a very enriching DVD called Tibetan Book of the Dead (2003),...got it from netflix,...I'd ybet ou'd like it Penny.

    Janelle

    There is no Present in Time...Janelle
      April 15, 2010 4:17 AM BST
    0
  • http://gendersociety.com/[...]366057&

    This is the link from the previous debate

    Cristine
    Cristine Jennifer Shye.  B/L.  B/Acc
      April 15, 2010 11:55 AM BST
    0
  • Thanks Cristine,
    Tammy
    <p>A life without purpose, is a life without reason!</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;myspace.com/tammybrianne</p>
      April 19, 2010 6:08 AM BST
    0
  • This is one of the most poignant and significant threads, I think I have read,

     

    Whilst seeming depressing, peoples honesty and feelings are quite uplifting, one I think is important enough to list as one of the best for revival. and its relevant links.  Cry

     

    Penny Zenny said:
    In light of recent and macabre news I feel I need to say a few words. I have chosen to start a new thread as I didn’t want to change the nature of the thread where the news is released to allow people to express their thoughts without diluting the nature of the thread.

    The reason for this thread is to give a little knowledge to people who have thoughts of suicide or for people who knows someone going through difficulties and the knowledge here could be a helpful suggestion.

    Cristine Jennifer Shye.  B/L.  B/Acc
    This post was edited by Cristine Jennifer Shye. BL at July 19, 2011 11:49 AM BST
      July 19, 2011 11:43 AM BST
    0
  • Living with depression is a fact of life for me (and millions of others). I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder some time ago. When it gets really bad I do have suicidal thoughts - but I don't yet have suicidal intentions.


     


    I sought medical help some years back. I'm on medication, which helps to an extent. But what I find most helpful is simply finding someone to talk to, who will listen with sympathy and love. I'm very lucky to have someone like that at the moment. On the other hand, I'm very aware that people like me need endless, massive support, and it doesn't seem fair to overburden the people who care the most.


     


    I've seen a doctor and a psychiatrist about my condition. I've told them about my thoughts of suicide. They take it very seriously. I've been given a crisis phone number that operates 24/7 and they suggest I use it if ever things get too much. It's operated by trained NHS staff. (It's not The Samaritans, but I'm glad they're around as well). So I guess that's another safety net.


     


    Lastly, there's an online resource where people can post if they're depressed and need help. It's an online community that's moderated by trained medical staff. Sometimes when the emotional pain becomes too much to bear, it can help to scream in writing and see sympathetic responses to your post appear reasonably quickly. This is the Big White Wall and it's online at http://www.bigwhitewall.com.


     


    Hope that helps.

      July 31, 2011 10:36 PM BST
    0