Penny,
I speak with a little knowledge here.
I finished a college course on Fri 11th June and I'm going to be claiming Jobseekers allowance this coming Monday which means I can claim housing benefit for my local council flat whilst I'm looking for work.
I'm Scottish and I'm assuming you live in England and that the unemployment benefit rules are the same for all.
I'm sorry to hear things aren't going so well for you just now, I hope they get better soon.
Alcohol is a very good, but very temporary way of blocking out problems.
I speak with a large amount of knowledge on that subject!

Hiya! x

I have recently become aware of the number of people who ask me if I am pre op or post op. My initial reaction is, its none of your business, however, in trying to hold on to any remaining dignity I have left after receiving such an enquiry, it is my personality to answer the question to avoid any further difficulties.

I have recently explained to someone that asking if I have had the op is quite an intrusive question concerning my private anatomy. I would compare the question to "Have you had a virgina tightening op?" or "Have you had a penis extending op?" and are those questions they would ask anyone else?

I hope I have explained the scenario sufficiently and I would like to know your thoughts as I plan to start telling people to mind their own business, or, am I just too sensitive?

Love
Penny
x

I don't think you're being too sensitive.
I think it all depends on the individuals willingness to answer personal questions about herself.
You're perfectly entitled to tell someone to eff-off if you think their enquires about you are too intrusive.

Hi Penny.
Its not just you i get the same , the way i look at it is who is asking and why? if its a total stranger i will come out with something like , were you born a pratt or did you learn to be one? or how often do you have sex if you have it at all? .If it is someone i have known for a while and trust that person i look upon it as "this person is interested" which i don,t mind telling if it is genuine , saying that though my local newspaper the Diss express done a special feature on me last year so a lot of people around here know anyway .I suppose like i said its comes down to who and why they want to know.
Hugs and another hug Julia xxxx

I've been asked that in one form or another numerous times since going fulltime. I guess I have to say I'm like Lucy, I have no problem answering it. Telling people I am scheduled to have surgery in December gets the most responses. I have had lesbians ask if I plan on being lesbian, I just say I'm married and leave it at that. I think most people are curious and are not trying to pry, they would be ok whether you answered it or not.
Hugs,
Marsha

I think like with many things you are the only one that can ultimately answer that. Personally, I feel that it would be rude to ask anyone anything about their genitalia, along with several other questions people ask of each other. Perhaps it's because those types of issues I try to keep private. If you feel that people are intruding upon your personal space, you have every reason to tell them to back off and the should be able to respect your wishes.
Being a curious person myself, I understand the desire to learn and question almost everything. However the problem that I have noticed with our society as a whole is that people seem to assume that just because they have a question, they are entitled to an answer, even if they are not.
I say that if you feel uncomfortable, then you should tell them and make them get to know you. If they don't want to take the time to learn who you are as a person, then you don't need to take the time to answer them.

hiya, i understand that those who have had or expecting the op feel much more liberated to answer the question. however, the next time everyone here talks to a female, please consider her private anatomy and ask her if she has had or considering a virginal tightening operation. try to understand the datum point as i can imagine post ops jumping around flashing off their coont saying look at this how fantastic is that!

i do joke and i am sorry but i really do feel that whether someone is pre or post op has no influence on the individual so it shouldnt even be a topic of discussion.
much love
penny
x

help i need help
im trying my best
im only an ordinary human being
but i am at me end
im drunk again so im sorry if i make a fool of myself, i dont care anymore
i received a court sumons for non payment of council tax
and an eviction order for none payment of rent
i been trying to get benifits since february
i havent received any money since february other than a little from my daughters mum and a few crisis loans from the government.
i have had a lot of harassent from my neighbour down stairs which has involved a lot of police and victim support and the council abate team in sorting it out
but to be honest, im really fed up
i cant be bothered anymore
im really sorry

Penny

Have you approached any charity organizations? I am involved in one and we meet people with similar or worse problems. Don't say you are too proud. How can you afford to drink with little or no income

Hugs

Penny,
I speak with a little knowledge here.
I finished a college course on Fri 11th June and I'm going to be claiming Jobseekers allowance this coming Monday which means I can claim housing benefit for my local council flat whilst I'm looking for work.
I'm Scottish and I'm assuming you live in England and that the unemployment benefit rules are the same for all.
I'm sorry to hear things aren't going so well for you just now, I hope they get better soon.
Alcohol is a very good, but very temporary way of blocking out problems.
I speak with a large amount of knowledge on that subject!

Penny,
I speak with a little knowledge here.
I finished a college course on Fri 11th June and I'm going to be claiming Jobseekers allowance this coming Monday which means I can claim housing benefit for my local council flat whilst I'm looking for work.
I'm Scottish and I'm assuming you live in England and that the unemployment benefit rules are the same for all.
I'm sorry to hear things aren't going so well for you just now, I hope they get better soon.
Alcohol is a very good, but very temporary way of blocking out problems.
I speak with a large amount of knowledge on that subject!

Sorry about the repetitions of my previous post.
I've no idea what happened.

hi, im back - sorry for getting totally drunk and venting but it helps.

I am just experiencing really difficult times at the moment. i keep applying for jobs. im sure it will all work out in the end. in the mean time you just have to put up with me feeling sorry for myself lol

much love
penny
x

Hi Penny.
On the topic you started with i can totaly see what you mean "you are a woman full stop" there should be no need to have to put up with idiots asking whats between your legs! but thats just what most of them are "idiots" but there are a few people around who genuinely are interested , it maybe they are trans but dare not admit it , all you need to remember is you are you and you don,t have to answer to anyone .
On your second subject if you need to chat PM me .
Hugs Julia xxxx

Geez, give me a break. You gals sound like you think they all want to know what is between your legs for kinky reasons. The vast majority of people don't know anyone who is transgender and that in itself sparks a lot of curiosity that is not meant to be rude. I would much rather answer someone asking with interest whether I had surgery or not versus some TG asking me what color my panties are.
Hugs,
Marsha

OMG, here come the laws again, didn't I just address that in another thread, lol. They are asking a transgender woman not a genetic woman and my interpretation of the original post was that in some manner the person asking has been made aware you are TS. Yes I see a difference. You cannot take transgender out of the equation with or without surgery in my opinion. I know there are many who would like to believe so and that is their right. I don't think they would be asking a 100% passable TS that they don't know anyways and It is not like they are asking to see whats in your pants. I don't believe you need to respond to everyone and don't think this is an all or nothing question. I know for me there are many I feel I would be quite comfortable discussing the issue of pre or post op with. If it was just an idiot from out of the blue, I would not give them the time of day. I think this is another one of those cultural things.
Hugs,
Marsha

Penny,
I think it depends on "who" the person is...and for what reason they are asking. Sometimes, just asking them "why they want to know?" ... does the trick.
As well, when we are having a rough time in life ... we tend to be overly defensive.

------------------------------------------------------

"and my needs entwined like ribbons of light...and I came through the doorway...some where... in the night"

I think the oddest thing I read in this thread was somebody's lesbian friends asking if one "planned to become a lesbian".

That would be me that made that comment Toni and I'm not sure what is so odd about it. I was introduced to a lesbian couple at a party by the host who identified me as a preop TS who would be having surgery in December. One of the gals simply asked if I planned on being lesbian. She just didn't ask if I would be hetero, which would have been a legitimate question also. Maybe they liked me. Actually I ended up going out for a drink with them prior to a film festival event at a later date. I happen to still be married and am devoted to my wife. If I was on my own I would likely explore my options, but right now the simple answer is I am married.

Before I ever started attending LGBT functions I had heard gays and lesbians tended to dislike TGs. I'm sure there are some like that but I have found the gays and lesbians have accepted me with open arms and I am very appreciative and thankful to have their friendship.

Just as I am often blunt with my opinions here, I do enjoy having conversations with others and if they happen to inquire about my circumstances, I am happy to talk about it. I don't question everyone's ulterior motives like it sounds like many here do. I think there is obviously a lot of paranoia in the TG world. I am open to creating new friendships, not running everyone off.

Hugs,
Marsha

what I found odd, even disturbing, or perhaps offensive, is somebody (especially for example, someone who is "glbt") asking if one was "planning" to have a certain sexual orientation. doesn't that cut right to the heart of the majority of gender/sexual identity issues?
I certainly didn't "plan" to be toni.
I find it far easier to listen to blissfully ignorant homophobe's thoughtless jabs than people who should know better than to think sexuality or gender identity is a matter of "planning"

I'm with you Toni - people should mind their own frigin business. I may get strange looks but whenever I'm asked a question which I think is inappropriate I usually (with a smile) ask if they are writing a book or taking a survey - in other words - go annoy someone else.
hugs
Gracie

Geez what prudes here. No wonder so many people are depressed. Everyone is paranoid that someone wants to know something personal about them for God only knows some evil reason. I am glad I am me, I have more actual real world friends than I ever have had in my life and that I feel comfortable talking about anything with. Does anyone here ever come out of the closet? And to think being asked if I planned on living a lesbian lifestyle at an LGBT event is just over the top. LOL.
Hugs,
Marsha

actually, what you posted was " I have had lesbians ask if I plan on being lesbian". I don't think it's a matter of semantics to distinguish between "plan on being lesbian" and "living a lesbian lifestyle" I'm far from being any kind of prude, and I don't mind telling people I know just about anything they care to know about me.
I think it was fairly obvious that the point I was making concerned the notion that you can "plan" your sexuality. that is a notion straight from the homosexual deprogramming mindset.
and as a bisexual human, I really have no idea what a lesbian lifestyle is. are there special foods? a lot of rules?
I'm sorry, I've had a rough week, done venting.

The problem is some of you take things so darn literally that you miss any logical meaning. I did not need an interpreter to know they were asking if I considered myself a lesbian. You hear gals here left and right espousing that they are or will be lesbian after transition, so what is the big deal. And Karen, why don't you look at it from the other angle and see what a hypocrite you are saying that nonsense. Since I don't have the same opinion as you that makes me wrong. Yeah right, if that is the case, I like being wrong.
Hugs,
Marsha

Karen, I do understand that and maybe could have worded it somewhat different, however I do see many of the responses as exhibiting prudish behavior. The definition of prude is "One who is excessively concerned with being or appearing to be proper, modest, or righteous." Maybe I can even be called a prude at times with the righteous part. But to me, I see it as going to the extreme when someone thinks personal questions cannot be asked when you are at a function for a community that includes you and the question has something to do with the community. Does that mean every question that is asked should be answered? Of course not, and I respect anyone who does not answer a question because it makes them uncomfortable. But there is a big but, that doesn't mean because it makes them uncomfortable that no one else should be able to answer the question, or for that matter, ask the question.

Maybe I am wrong but what I often see exhibited in responses here is a "one size fits all answer." That would appear to make life really easy. I believe every question along with every answer needs to be put in context as to what, where, why, and when was it asked. If you look at it that way, then I think you will see how there can be multiple answers or non answers.

Last but not least, has anyone heard the phrase "The only stupid question is the question that is not asked."

Hugs,
Marsha

Hugs Karen. I admit that I am not the best at always choosing my words, and often that is why I try to clarify things along the way. I do find it upsetting when someone jumps all over what I have said without seeking clarification. Yes, I do often express a differing opinion, but it is never my intention to stop others from expressing their views.
Best wishes,
Marsha

Hi all .
I think every possible question and answer has been answered here and the main thing this shows is we all think and behave differently , a lot of good and bad points have been raised but the main fact is we are who we are . In my former life as the old git i was a sad excuse for a human being , not in a bad way as i have always thought the same ,and i still never look down on others and always give like i gave as before "but" like Marsha i have gained more friends in being completly open about myself being transexual than i have ever had in my whole life .
I am so happy just being me i think it gives out positive signals to others rather than negative ones , i have complete strangers telling me they admire my courage in doing what i am , i always have to correct them about the courage bit as for me it did not take courage and why should it? ok it was a big step but it had to be done , being myself is not couragous it just comes natural.

Going back to the original post is it right to ask? in some cases "no" if an idiot says "have you had it chopped off yet? "thats a no but if we do not talk about it and "EVERYONE" kept it all secret then how the hell can we expect people to even try to understand us? myself i have no problems with people asking me questions about me , if it helps others understand then surely that has to be a good thing . We realy do have a lot of crap to go through in our lives but by answering questions to others who genuinly are interested is teaching! teaching people that we are good people who just want to be who we were meant to be .
Hugs to all Julia xxxx

Here's my two cents worth...being late to party in coming out and feeling strongly that it our responsibility to educate others whenever appropriate to our "crazy" world, I try to extend more patience to those that are ignorant but harmless in their mode of questioning or conversation. If I can make others comfortable when meeting, seeing, or conversing with transgendered people, then I think eventually the barriers that other girls will face down the line will not be as big as they currently are, or, used to be. I sense a gradual "acceptance" or at least recognition of our plight, especially in the last 5-10 years, and I am meeting others who appear to at least accept the fact that I am not some whacked out sicko preying on their children or sneaking around villages in the shadows of the night. I am the same person on the inside that I have always been as nothing has changed there and people find that they can converse, share laughs, and generally talk to me (and any other Tgirl) like a human! LOL

So Penny, I willingly accept the dumb questions with the good ones and do my best to make the path smoother for myself and others. If it means getting asked if I have a "weeny" or if I have been "snipped", I just smile and tell them the truth. In the long term, it will break barriers....I can get short with those that are only trying to belittle me or the rest of our community, but have even backed off confrontation where the old male ego used to come into play...gawd, I LOVE the new "calmness" and sense of being!!!! But if we all do our part and demonstrate that we are just people like anyone else, people with feelings, emotions, thoughts, etc. and live our lives as productive citizens of this planet, our day will come when it will not be an issue. I hope I am alive for that day, but I at least take comfort in knowing I can do my part.

Oh, and it is usually alcohol that brings out the worst in others and I try to avoid any situation that may place me in harms way...that said, I do go out to clubs and bars as I play music in many of them, but I do not look to mingle with the loud crowd...happily, most of the time, nobody even notices me or looks at me oddly anymore! (smile) I am just another tall, lean, athletic looking girl to them now!!! Yeahhhhhhh!!!!!!
So come on girls, do not get all riled up over this...do your part, chip in with patient, thoughtful responses, and always, ALWAYS be on your best behavior. Nothing sets back our sisterhood more than to have a bunch of loud, drunken "girls" causing scenes or igniting trouble...we all get lumped into the same category as a result and it just reinforces the image that others had of us all along!

Love ya all!!!

Traci xxxx

as I read this thread from the beginning again two things occur to me.
well, maybe three.
the third is something I learned the hard way. simply this, in a purely text format with people you have never met,
there are no vocal inflections, facial expressions, body language, or any of the components of real interpersonal communication. that leaves only literal interpretation, which can impede real communication. the single advantage, however, is you can review your words before you post them, and consider their implications from other points of view, as opposed to a face to face encounter, where words uttered can't be taken back in any real sense.
as a side note to that, I would add that, in my experience, the longer you communicate in a text format with the same people, you can get a sense of their intended meanings in certain circumstances, for example, "joe" tends to be sarcastic, or "ant" is always kidding, but in an open format, like a forum, or a chatroom, the newcomers won't have this insight at first. and it can be further complicated by cultural differences, ie, usa vs uk use of the english language.
anyway. back to the two things. perhaps more different circumstances for me than for many of you, as I don't see a big chance of anyone from the gender society crossing my path in real life, not that there aren't people here I know I would enjoy meeting, simply that my life path revolves around my music, and I live in the middle of farm country, when I'm not on the road playing, I come back here where I know the land and the water and feel close to the earth.
so.
thing one. in the chatroom, or in the forums, I would answer any question. (well, you won't get my address or social security number) but I see no potential harm to myself in answering the questions of the curious. I mean, if they were extremely rude or harrassing about it, I might ignore and report them, other that, I'm an open book.
thing two. in real life, face to face. every circumstance is different. if I'm considering any kind of intimate relationship, of course I want to be completely open and honest. if I'm thinking this person is a total creep, they might not even get my name. between those two extremes there is a spectrum of possibilities.

ok, four things. one also has to consider the idiomatic use of language, that is, the colloquial, or "popular" use of many words. a word like prude, for example has dictionary and colloquial use, and like many words in the english language, the colloquial meaning is often more the accepted meaning than the dictionary definition. in the case of "prude" it is generally used as a slur, albeit a mild one, but in essence, and I mean no disrespect to anyone, the dynamic is similar to calling a gay man a faggot and then posting the dictionary definition( a bundle of sticks intended for use as kindling for a fire)
please don't think I'm trying to put anyone down, I am merely giving my thoughts on the nature of online chat and forums, and how easily one can be misinterpreted.
I have never felt offended here by anyone, what would be the point? nobody here has ever met me, sticks and stones and all that.
any time I post on a forum, I ask an honest question, or answer one honestly, and I try to be as clear as I can, not that I'm some super smart person, I graduated high school by the skin of my teeth, and became a vagabond musician.

Toni, you are right about pretty much all you brought up, however there are a couple things I would like to point out. You mentioned that text can be reread before posting so as to look at the implications from different points of view. To a great extent I have to disagree with that because it tends to be natural to view things from your point of view and that is why you said what you said in the first place. It is common to even completely use the wrong word you typed by accident and read right through it and not see the mistake. That is why books go through editors before being published.

Next is when someone compares text in a forum thread to chat or face to face conversations. A big mistake is to consider a forum thread a conversation in the first place. A conversation requires someone making a statement and someone replying ......AND ....if there are any misunderstandings, they are clarified immediately. If something is misunderstood in the first sentence of a forum thread, it taints how the rest of the post is interpreted. That is why you will see far more "arguments" in forum threads than you would in the chat room or in person.

Hugs, love you all,
Marsha

I would consider this thread a conversation, and a pretty good one at that. thoughts and opinions were exchanged and the topic evolved in interesting ways, much like it might over drinks at a club, or in some coffee shop after. just another reason why this is such a good site
smiles, toni

I absolutely loved what Cristine posted about a "second hand vagina."
Can you imagine some "B-Movie" about a TG being dragged around the county side by her "transplanted vagina" while it searches for it's first true love in the donors life.
Better yet...the movie could star Clint Eastwood and they could call the movie "Play Musty for me"
eewwww!! LOL LOL LOL

------------------------------------------

"and my needs entwined like ribbons of light...and I came through the doorway...some where... in the night"

Hiya,
I have enjoyed reading this thread. Lots of excellent contributions. Reading this thread reminds me that we are all from different backgrounds, cultures and circumstances. Forums like this arent about right or wrong opinions, its about how people address similar topics in different ways to suit their different circumstances and we have the ability to appreciate those differences. Isnt it great to comprehend that different people have the freedom to live in completely different ways to how we might understand or accept.
I see this forum as a portal to allow me to have a better understanding of transgendered people living in different ways to me.
Lots of love
Penny
x

I heard an interesting interview yesterday. The person interviewed was part of a protest against how some of the G8 G20 Countries were against GLB people. This person stated she excluded Transsexuals because they are a gender.
It was nice to hear that we are being recognized as a Gender now ... and not a "persuasion"

-------------------------------------------------

"and my needs entwined like ribbons of light...and I came through the doorway...some where... in the night"

Wendy, I think you have made some really good points. On quite a number of occasions I have let people exhaust their arguments because I realised it was more important to let them do so! lol. Anyhow, if name calling doesnt work, a good poke in the eye tends to do the trick!
Love
Penny
x

Why should anyone ask you that question? That is what you need to think about, the question in itself is irrelevant. For they ask you not out of curiosity but because they wish to know how they are expected to treat you. Someone may think you are attractive, adorable, may feel the stirrings of passion, even love, for you. If that person is a man and you are pre-op those feelings make him gay. You are who you are, and that is all that counts. Questions like that are stupid and not worthy of an answer. Unless, of course, you want to play second fiddle to someone elses tune. Like most things in life it is not complicated. Every question has an agenda.

Wendy, It has always been my understanding and I think most have heard it time and time again that women tend to be far more emotional than men. So please expand on your statement above where you said

"I presume that I am losing the argument or, at least, I am using my emotions rather than my brain. (It's OK, but it's more part of our male heritage than who we want to be.)"

Hugs,
Marsha

Thank you Wendy, that makes much more sense. Reading your response to Porscha brings up a thought. Where maybe does the idea of third gender actually fit in. I am one who believes we are a third gender and having characteristics of both genders is easy to understand, especially when someone like myself lived 50 years in the other gender. Distinguishing traditional male and female characteristics without discussing the environment one was raised in dilutes the accuracy of laboratory observations.

We have discussed similar things in other threads where some people maybe obsess with getting the details of the other gender down, even to a point that the obsession causes them to standout. I firmly believe we are individuals and just need to be ourselves. Not try to be what others think we need to be. I think as much as we accuse society of seeing us as different, we also look for differences among ourselves. It is just human nature.

Hugs,
Marsha

Hi Penny,

I was once asked the "are you or aren't you post-op?" question many years ago. I was with my TS (post-op) girlfriend and both of us were pretty open about our relationship and personal statuses in the venue where I was asked. I answered honestly that I wasn't sure if I was pre-op or non-op. It was asked in a way I didn't find aggressive or judgmental or inappropriate for the situation.

But I can imagine, under other circumstances, that the question could be very offensive. Context is everything...

Best,
Melody

I think the answer, as has been mooted, depends on who's asking. In one aspect it's actually indicative of a much more widespread understanding, appreciation and curiosity of transexuals. On that level I don't find the question offensive and would answer fully. That said, I've never been asked by a total stranger and would find that circumstance intrusive. At the moment it tends to come from interested family and friends...
Best wishes
Rae

My real friends know.

And it's none of anyone else's damn business, unless I have released some part of such information to the public at large.

Would the person asking go up to any stranger and start asking such personal questions? I think not, unless they prefer drinking through a straw!

This would be a good time to, once again, to give a plug to Calpernia Addams' classic video "Bad Questions to Ask a Transsexual," which can be viewed on You Tube.

If someone asked me I would just answer the question. Other people's curiosity is not offensive to me.
xx

Penny, we're all allowed to vent at some point & this is a good place to do it.
As for this thread. When is it ever OK to ask such a personal question?

I think it's appalling that someone thinks it okay to ask such a personal question. I would definately be telling them to mind their own business. The exception to that would be if it was someone who was interested in a relationship, as I believe that they have a right to know, and it's usually a good idea to tell them BEFORE you get naked!!

As for venting Penny, we all need to do it sometimes, getting everything off of our chests more often than not makes us feel better emotionally, and besides................it's cheaper here than paying for a therapist!

Nikki

Actually Marsha, my reason had nothing to do with sex or kinkiness, just good manners. It's about the 'who' and 'why' they feel they can ask. It shouldn't be relevant. If you're living as a woman, then you're living as a woman, it doesn't matter if you are pre or post op (that's true legally too, at least in much of Europe). Someone I know asking me out of curiosity is one thing, someone I don't really know, well, it's none of their business.

I certainly wouldn't go up to a man I hardly know and ask if he is circumcised or not, or ask a woman whether she has a Brazian or a Hollywood just because I'm curious!!

Nikki

Penny,

I'm not going to tell you everything will be all right. I was injured over 15 yrs ago and haven't worked full-time since. I have not worked at all for three years. I live on food stamps and about $3 a month income. I've lost most of my valued belongings. I hang by a thread to lose the rest in any disaster. I can not tell you things will get better. They often do not.

What I did learn was that most of the things I considered important were not as important as I thought. I miss them but I have my "self" and that matters far more. My friends are often amazed at how calm I am during new disasters of biblical proportions. I just tell them that if things own you, you are better off without them. I had heard this but I had to experience it to understand. Most of my pressure was from false beliefs that I could not survive being without certain things, people, conditions. I was wrong. I have been homeless for brief periods. I live one move away from under a bridge. The difference is I now plan that bridge-housing move in detail before it happens. What do I take if I have to live out of a backpack? It always includes the basics I will need to come out the other end and get back on my feet.

This week, after 15 years of disasters and living without the resources to get back on my feet, I finally got the one break that should allow me to return to work, full-time if I choose, move into my own place and live a very comfortable life in the near future. That will include being able to move on to explore new frontiers for Wendy. I also have a wonderful TS sister who is there to give me a hand if I need it to prime the pump.

My point is that all any of us can do is give up or keep fighting. Do not give up, Sister. You can persevere. You have already survived more than most people ever will. Life is what happens to us while we wait for what we want to happen....to happen. Carpe Diem is not just a phrase, it is a lifestyle. Live in the present and make the most of it.

I highly recommend Alcoholics Anonymous. I have been to meetings and all I can say is "What a family!"

If you need me, to talk, you know where I am. Drop me a PM. Your Sisters are here for you. <hugs>

****************
As far as, "Is it right to ask?"---
Unless the event is such that it is appropriate....a friend can ask, a stranger should not. It is rude. Here at TW, such a question is far more acceptable, as it would be more so if you were speaking about being TS/TG at an event. In a bar, it is not. I think I would respond to such a question with "What makes you ask?"

I found out today that in the British military to ask such a personal question could see the person hauled up before his commanding officer as it would be in breach of the MOD's laws against harassment.

Nikki

Nikki. That also applies throughout all forms of government - national and local, in schools and colleges and in theory in any place of work in the UK.