August 4, 2010 12:06 PM BST
Hiya, I can’t talk to you about your feelings because only you experience them so only you can choose how to live your life. What I can say, is that you live in a society where you have the freedom to be who you are. I would try not to right off your parents so quickly as people are a lot more tolerant towards different people these days. Whoever coined the phrase "freedom of speech" is an idiot because we live in a society that enjoys freedom from fear and oppression, which negates freedom of speech, and a lot more people understand that and respect others for who they are. Your parents can offer advice and help guide you to make good choices in life but they can’t turn you into the person they want you to be. Your parents don’t need to understand who you are; they just need to accept you as their child and as a human being. If your parents are intolerant then at some stage in your life you will realise that you don’t need people who don’t respect you as a human being.
Once you stop trying to pigeonhole yourself and stop living up to other peoples expectations or seek their acceptance then you will find you are living very happy and content with just being yourself and you will find the people around you are the quality people you enjoy having around
Have you thought about seeing a psychiatrist who has experience in gender issues? The psychiatrist will not determine who you are as no one can do that but yourself. What they will do is help you explore your feelings and help you decide what they mean to you so you have a better understanding on how to proceed in living a happy life.
Hugs
Penny
x
August 4, 2010 1:17 PM BST
Wilhelm,
First off, welcome to GS. Although each of us is an individual, the feelings you have expressed sound similar to many others. I think as we grow up we start putting the puzzle pieces together to better understand our feelings and what if anything they mean for our future. Like Penny mentioned, it doesn't hurt to see a therapist who can help you make sense of what you are feeling. As for your parents, many of us have experienced the fear of rejection and sometimes it is real, but often it is a false fear we burden ourselves with. I don't know how your relationship is now with your parents, but try developing one where you can talk about what is really going on in your life. Penny mentioned that your parents just might accept this, you won't ever know if you don't work towards telling them.
I also see according to your profile you are from Savannah, GA like myself. Although we are in the Bible Belt, I have found the vast majority of people here to be accepting or at least tolerant of my circumstances. We do have the fundamentalists here who believe everyone other themselves are evil, but they are few and far between.
Best wishes,
Marsha