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Out yet not, wife/y, fam&fr/no?

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  • So bleh,

    Wife yes, we are totally comfortable. I'm biTV, and she is so great about it. She is in many ways the same thing/opposite side, but she is not into it, as far as I can tell. I am VERY into this part of my life, and exploring more every day! There are a couple days a week that I do not get into it, but that is the exception, and on those days I do not seem to like anything much. That is probably depression from something else.

    Family, partially. My oldest sister is probably cool, and has no prob. She is getting on in life, and has a more Spiritual view. My younger sis is kinda mainstream America, and I just recently told her. She laughs and seems sweet about things, but I think she is uncomfortable and does not want to get into it. So, denial. My mother and step-fa, well, forget about it. They are both 82-84, and while it would probably be interesting to them, I do not think they would handle it well. Not "heart attack"awful, but a pretty big hassle, I am guessing. Hell, who knows, maybe they would love it. But I have not rolled the dice on that one. Any other family, forget it.

    Friends, very few! This surprises me. So much so that I actually deleted quite a few friends on Facebook recently, just to get in to mood of seeing how it will all play out. I know it is judgmental to dump all the folks who look like they are gonna judge me, and totally bas-ackwards, but too bad. Maybe later. For now, I am stepping lightly into the world, and we shall see what we shall see.

    Hugs,
    Kelli
      September 13, 2010 1:00 PM BST
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  • So nice when the S/O is into our "other side". I have been with my /SO about 10 years now and she knew from the begining how I would like to dress up sometimes. Being a make up artist, she has helprd me put on make up and coordinate clothes. Now I am pretty much full time and have no problem passing in public after she has made me up.

    Since I am exploring my bi side she even lets me go on dates and has played 'wing girl" on several occations as long as I promise not to get too invovled with bf.

    Stay strong in what you want.

    Hugs

    Jen
      November 7, 2010 2:22 PM GMT
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  • I've always been open to my family. My Mum and my sisters were (and are) supportive. Unfortunately not my Dad. Probably an old familiar story to most girls here.
      November 7, 2010 3:45 PM GMT
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  • I've only come out to my wife and she has been very supportive. But then she knew I loved to wear panties before we got married. Now she helps me buy clothes and makeup and we have fun with it. I'm pretty much a female until I leave the house and then it's as a guy. I don't have any plans to come out to anybody other than anonymously in a forum or Facebook as my Lavander persona.

    I wish you the best of luck, at best it's a scary thing to do.
    Kisses, Lavander
      November 7, 2010 7:57 PM GMT
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  • 1195
    Lavender
    I'm the helpful sort or I try to be.
    Go to www.tri-ess.org On the pull down menu they list groups in your area. (even Orange County).
    They're a good support group and you get a chance to venture out dressed femme.
    Hugs
    Gracie

    ps Took me a while to get in contact with my group-it helps and my wife comes with me.
    <p>If it isn't fun - don't do it.</p>
      November 7, 2010 10:20 PM GMT
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  • 252
    Hiya Kelli,

    There is a great tendency to write off everyone that knew the old you when you start out. But what I learned is that you have to givve people a chance. Let me tell you about my friend Barry (not his real name.) Barry has been my friend for about fifteen years. He also has mild cerebral palsey. It affects his motor skills somewhat, and he walks with a pronounced gait. His mind is sharper than most people's, but he is also a bit phobic and rafrely leaves the house.

    Anyway, when I first came out, I was sure he wouldn't understand and had written him off in my mind. The truth of the matter was as different as it could have been. As of this writing, Barry has NEVER gotten a pronoun wrong or treated me with anything other than respect and friendship. While other friends who I considered my "real" friends were leaving skid marks they were running away from me so fast, he was there. He remains my oldest, best friend.

    Give your friends a chance before you move on without them. You might find that they really just want to be your friend.
    I am the itch, after it was scratched.
      November 8, 2010 11:14 AM GMT
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  • Hi Kelli,

    When I first came out to my family, friends and neighbors, I expected to get ostracized. Especially from my best friend and his wife, who are fundamental christians. Girl, was I surprised at their reaction. They said they loved "ME" regardless of whether I'm Michael or Michelle and that they support me. In fact, my daughter and my best friend helped me with discussions with my wife who at first blush had many problems with the concept of Michelle. Although my wife is not very supportive at present, she did say she wants Michelle to be happy and is working though the issues it presents for her. (Most spouses end up having to face issues of loss + working through what gender issues mean for them).

    We have been seeing therapists and actively working through the issues that my GID bring to light , both for myself and for her.
    Things are looking up and I hope that someday I can live full time as Michelle.

    Good luck on all your relationships!

    Hugz,

    MichelleLynn

      November 9, 2010 12:15 AM GMT
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  • Thank you Mary Grace.
    Kisses, Lavander
      November 11, 2010 6:14 PM GMT
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