I am a transsexual woman, so the other day, I was taken with a leash and introduced to the lesbians. They petted me, mostly absent-mindedly and told me I was a good girl and a pretty girl and how nice my manners were. I sat up and spoke and was petted again and told I was a smart girl too. I kept waiting for one of them to take me home and tell me I was a good girl. Alone, like I was her trans girl. All my shots are current. My coat is shiny and my nails are clipped and I’m housebroken.

I’ve spent enough time with other trans girls, barking at each other. I like spending time with other trans girls. We sniff each other’s butts and clean each other and when there are loud noises, we hide under the bed together. But I had always longed to be a lesbian’s pet trans girl. It was whispered among us that sometimes an amazing lesbian actually takes us home and loves us. I don’t know if that’s true. We have trouble seeing in two dimensions because we are used to seeing through hundreds of dimensions through thousands of painted on eyes. So, although we find it hard to believe that something this good could happen to us, we all believe the story.

I’ve seen it, kind of. But always in long shots, or pictures so crowded with subjects that nothing can be seen. Grainy and out of focus, like Bigfoot photos. We see them and say “Is that?...Is that?...Is that a lesbian with a tgirl? Well, I’ll be damned.” Then, of course, the moment is broken with “No, that’s not a trans girl, that’s my golden retriever. But she’s a good girl.” Crestfallen, retreating within myself, trying to recover my wit from the floor and my voice from the back of my throat I wait until I am on the street with the other bitches and then I bark. A plaintiff bark. If you listen closely it almost sounds like crying. It almost sound like a woman crying. It almost sounds like I’m just a person in pain.

I go back under the bridge and look for a place to lay down. I am hurt and sad and I don’t know how I can be a better trans girl. I don’t know what I can do. What official papers I don’t have, I don’t know about what they mean when they laugh and they put that kennel around their own mind to make sure I don’t make trans mess for them to clean up.

I want a lesbian to love me. To stroke my ears and tell me that she is my home. To tell me that I am not her pet, but her partner. To take the leash off of my neck and tell me that she trusts me in her life and in her living room. To hold me when I’m scared or confused. To tell me not that I am a good girl or a pretty girl, but a worthwhile girl. A beautiful girl. To tell me how special and wonderful I am and how she’s so glad that I’m in her life. To be a person. To be an equal and not a dog, even such a pretty dog. Even such a good dog.

My name is Zoey. And I’m a good girl.

Ermmm........Ah ......Well....Ah
No actually!

So you didn't like it then.

I would probably give you a great big hug!

That is you right now isn't it Zoey? That is what has you hurting so bad. I wish I had answers for you. I am a strong believer in relationships just happen with time. I hope you soon find what you are looking for. Lots of hugs.
Love,
Marsha

I am well aware that this is the creative writing forum Melody. I think if you put what Zoey has been talking about here at GS and what she has posted at the other site, you can see that this story is about struggles she is currently facing which have her so depressed. That is how I see it. Zoey and I may have our conflicts, but I still care about her well being and want to see her do well. And that goes for whether this story is about the problems she is currently facing or not.
Hugs,
Marsha

Please please please don't fight. Look, I just can't talk about this right now. It's too close.

Z

I really liked it, as Rae said could be extended and further disguised. A really honest piece and well constructed. Hope it works out Zoe

Hugs

Tara

Hi Zoey, thanks for posting that piece - I enjoyed reading it, I think I understood the sentiment, and appreciate that it was brave of you to post it. Irrespective of the forum upon which it was posted, it was well written. I'd happily be caressed by a Lesbian lover who appreciated me both as a person and as a woman. Good lick with your pursuit of the fictional reality. Rachel x

Well I thought it was very sweet Zoey. Next time you feel creative like this, please send me something for Frock Magazine.

Hugs, Katie x