Kind of funny since I used Stephanie as my user name. Anyway, let's go down this windy trail as quickly as possible.
I've been crossdressing in some sort since probably 8/9 years old. Three older sisters made is quite easy, to say the least. Got caught a couple times but managed to lie my way around it (thinking about this as a halloween costume, etc.) Being brought up with three girls probably gave me a lot of the womens intuition I posses also.
My first connection with my SO was when married at 19 years old. Casual fun, sex play, brought it up to her and she had no problem with it. Actually bought me a few things and we had our fun times. I think that I got way too into it for her. We ended up divorced a short time after.
Second time was with a girlfriend at about 23 years old and she too was supportive. I am very slender and quite the hottie all dressed up. Make-up and my already long hair with spiked heels, she and I had fun I never knew possible. Never went out though.
Again I slipped away from her and for ten years was "Married With Children" in the closet totally. A bunch of close calls and years of hiding and sneaking around. My SO at the time found my hide-out and could not handle the discovery. Honesty at that time was only an admission of quilt in her eyes that I was a FREAK. We divorced soon after.
I met a wonderful woman and approached her with (not the blatent "I'm a tranvestite") just having fun. She was receptive and again I found someone to play with. We actually even went out for rides in the car and it was the most exciting thing I had ever done. Since I'm tall and really only wish to dress knock-out gorgeous, it would be next to impossible to hit the public scene. I remember once we had to stop and get gas and the guy at the pump next to us spotted me in the car and as I glanced over you could tell he had no clue I was a man. He was checking me out big-time and my girl was dolled up too. He probably thought we were headed out to a club or something. So I guess you could say that's like passing in public. I was having so much fun. We only played a few times a year, when it was convienient for me to shave all over, usually winter. I lost her. I think she had fun, but my true feel is that she was jealous of Ginger and felt like it was a competition. I'm telling you. I'm no flabby drag-queen when I put it on -IT'S HOT.
So now (45)I'm with a gorgeous magnificent lady, my new best friend. She's got kids, I've got kids. We have a great normal life (just what is normal?) and I haven't dressed for quite some time, but every once in a while I'll get the chance to have some time alone. I'm okay with not having that connection with her, but am starting to contemplate the possibilties.
What do I do? My track record is not good and we have kids all over the house from 10 to 15 yrs right now.
Any suggestions?

I don't deny my transvestism at all and I realize it's something that is with me for life. I love being and thinking feminine. It gives us all a very keen advantage over all the testosterone dripping, macho pigs out there that will never understand how to be a true human-being.
The video/movie is a great idea. It would have to be a good one though, not something where the guy still looked like a guy per say. When I go for it, like I talked about earlier, it's intense. Very hot and very very sexy. If you're gonna do it, do it right.
It's really nice to be able to talk about things and I appreciate any comments.

It's been almost two years now since I have done the full monty. It is truly exciting to remember back, but in reality how can something like that become a lifestyle for someone. I couldn't go to work with shaped eyebrows and no hair on my arms without someone noticing and then the kids would notice. They actually did ask questions some years back even when they were younger about why my arms didn't have hair.
I came upon this site just days ago and have really enjoyed the reading. I know there are so many different levels out there. I am thankful that I have someone to talk with about this. At least chating about different things and maybe some of my techniques and experiances could be fun.

LOVE YOU ALL

Hi Stephanie,

I think that you will find that there are many members like you on this site. Sharing our TG side with others is invariably difficult, especially if there are kids involved. I sometimes think that if it weren't for these restrictions, the world would be a very different place, with trannies out enjoying themselves everywhere.

As for telling your partner, only you can have any idea how she may take the news. In moral terms, it's best not to have secrets in a relationship, but if you think that telling her may ruin your partnership, then it may be best to keep quiet.

Have you ever thought of watching a video with a TV theme and trying to gauge her reaction to men dressing up. You could always say something like 'I wonder what sort of woman I would make?'- and watch her reaction!

Hope everything works out well for you anyway.

Hugs

Lisa

I suppose I'm not really the best person to give advice having 'come out' to my wife about seven years ago - I too thought that it would be all over but then found what a truely wonderful person I married. Looking back I suppose if she had not found out and I had come out then I too would be still hiding in the closet. I would like to think that chatting to others in a similar situation would have made me open up to my wife if I had not already done so. As to the kids - not too sure still.

All I can suggest is that you know your own situation the best - if the feelings are true - as in my case then hopefully the relationship can prosper. Unfortunately only you can know that.

Good luck in whatever you choose - as it will be the right choice for your situation at the time and can change in the future.