This is for all the mature TS - those above say 30.
If we take the age of legal responsibility/maturity at say 18 can you imagine turning your personal clock back to your eighteenth birthday and knowing that by age 30 you would be well transitioned or living a TS life would you have been able to start doing just that - or would your family/ social circles/financial state/work/locality/lack of info/ have all conspired to make you say 'No I'll never be able to start transitioning' or knowing what you know now would you take a deep breath and take the plunge and start transitioning regardless of what others thought?

Personally, I just couldn't imagine being able to live a TS life when I was 18. I was working for very low wage in traditional male job, I didn't even know words like transvestite/transsexual, I looked very male, and I was very reclusive and solitary because I felt so weird/queer/freaky. But mainly because I had tried to get my GP interested in my case when I was 14 and he'd run out of our house rather than speak to me so I was really convinced I was an incurable case.

By 20 I was living in a little bedsit but still unable to do more than be femme behind closed doors.
Getting out and about was years away even though workmates used to look at me and say 'you are just like a girl' but they would never elaborate and of course I didn't pursue the matter for fear of ridicule...I now wonder what would have happened if I had confessed to one of the guys?
Gays and lesbians were tolerated but TS? I just can't believe that!

Hi Rose-

I'm not TS, but I can relate to what you're saying at least on a couple of levels. First of all, let me say that I am of a certain stage of "maturity", I'm over thirty anyway...a little. Oh alright! I'm twice that old, there, I said it!<lol> And you are so right, unless we have been particularly fortunate in our lives it usually isn't until our careers have progressed past a certain point that we have the resources and wherewithal to pursue transitioning, if that is our chosen path. And it also takes a certain level of maturity to decide to simply ignore the dictates of society and do what we wish to do rather than what others think we should.

When I was growing up, there was no internet or any way to reach out to others who shared my feelings. In fact I can clearly remember the first time I saw a television. (Yes, we had phones without a crank! Knock it off, Wendy!) Now with the web it's so much easier to find help and support and resources, especially with sites like TW available for us. Thank the Goddess.

As far as my own journey, I hope to be 24/7 eventually, the sooner the better and am moving toward that goal. Like so many others, I have made choices and commitments in my life that now make it somewhat more difficult. If I had known in my 20's that I was not some solitary freak I would have perhaps made other choices, not that I regret my spouse and family, far from it. But do I regret the years I spent in the closet? Yes. But as you have pointed out, even back in the day it was easier to come out as gay or lesbian than to be TG. And it still is.

Hugs...Joni Marie

Could I have transitioned when I was 18? Oh, absolutely! I wasn't living at home and wouldn't have cared less if I was anyway, plus having just left school, it was the perfect opportunity to start fresh in work where noone knows me, and I could be full time from day one.

The only downside would be the attitude of my GP, since my experience with them regarding this issue later in life was one of a complete lack of understanding and support, not even a referal. Useless.

So in all honesty, I doubt it would have happened, I'm a product of my time. Today things are much more in the open and we have access to information which would help us to transition.

Now, since I'm in a relationship with someone who doesn't want me to go full time, I can live with that, it's disappointing of course but there are more than just my feelings to consider here. After all, she never asked for any of this. I'm happy living 50/50.

Nikki

Geez Rose, with the type of questions you have been bringing up I am starting to think you are either a psychologist or a student writing a thesis. Somewhere I have heard these before and they are easier asked than answered.

Ok, to start with I qualify, don't tell anyone though, I'm 49. I remember 18 quite well, I was just out of high school and already confused as to what I wanted to do with my life. Still never had had a girlfriend.

In your long list of possible elements that we could face, I would say the lack of info would be the number one thing that would have held me back. Looking back I think my family would have accepted it, unlikely their first choice for my future but nevertheless accepting. Social circle wise, what is that, lol. I knew people, but I would not call them friends. You gave a 12yr timeframe for transition so I don't think money would be an issue either.

So to answer your question would I have taken the plunge. If I had had the info so I would know my options back then, the answer would be an easy yes. But in 1976 nobody was going to make you aware of those options and the little info you heard on the subject was always cast in a negative way. I never thought of myself as a bad person, so why would anyone expect me to want to be one of those terrible people described as transsexuals?

Marsha

If I hadn't been so mixed up and shy when I was younger I might have been a psychologist...but actually there is such a lack of info about the total transsexual thing that the more personal experiences we hear the better...if only to counteract all the negative crap in the media.

And I am working on an info pack for human resources/training managers/customer relations and similar people to use to learn how to treat any TG staff they may have and how the staff must treat TG customers.

So I do value your opinions and experiences...

Hi Rose quick answers to your latest questions.

Like everyone else I knew nothing about Transpeople way back when I was 18. My famuly would probably have accepted me if I changed then butproberly would not have been able to understand,the knowledge in medical circles was limited back then so Yes I would much have prefered to live as a girl/ woman earlier than later but am reaping the benifits of those early Trans pioneers so think that I am getting better treatment than was avaliable back then.
if your compiling an information pack then check this out

http://www.gendertrust.or[...]ex1.htm

I have lots more links to many specialist sites both medical,research and general as well as personal experiences of other Trans girls so mail me if you would like them all.

Sarah.

Well, it's hard to imagine my high school experience could have been any worse than it was if i HAD realized and come out back then. I suspect I would have been treated by my parents and professionals as a delusional patient. I think my brothers would have accepted me, despite being a bit uncomfortable. Mom would have been confused but still loving, but possibly not supportive. Neighbors would have refused to let their children associate with me. Physical abuse by peers would have been more severe and frequent, but the psychological pressures would not have been. It may surprise some of you to hear that I am uncertain if my asshole father would have been (more) oppressive or supportive. He had a freaky habit of being fantastic when things were REALLY bad and important. But at 18 i would have barely been able to support myself but did so anyway at 22 with some college behind me. I moved alone cross country, got an apartment and went to work for $2/hr. I could have gone to nursing school 5 yrs earlier and graduated by 21 and been able to afford transition. (it tripled my gross income in three years) Acceptance, back then, however would have been unlikely, though I would have been far more passable in body type. I know one thing. I could not live my life AGAIN trying to be a male icon. Not after the last few years. I probably would have moved to some GLBT ghetto and lived openly TG. I can't say past then, I'm still finding out about where I'm headed.

The differences that are important are knowledge and acceptance by others. Knowing you are not "sick" or "perverted" or alone are major motivators to live your life as you want to. Once you know you would give up EVERYBODY in your life, if you HAD to, to be you, the rest is easy.

Hi All,
When I was 18, I knew something was different about me, but didn't know it was even possible to become who I really was inside (Michelle). I had moved away from home and was going to college (paying my own way), so the expense of transitioning (if I knew it was possible) would have been prohibitive. I'm virtually certain that my Mom & Dad would not have understood and probably would have pressured me to get help from a doctor. Additionally, the prevailing views doctors had toward TS's at that time would have been more of a delusional diagnosis, instead of recognizing the true condition of gender dysphoria.

To answer the question posed in this thread - Yes, I would have made a transition back then, even with all the things stacked against me. For one, the male hormones would not have had time to ravage me as much, making transitioning that much harder. I would not have had to lie to myself about what was going on inside me and I could have had a much more enjoyable (and freer) life. Although very successful in my career, I have constantly felt disconnected and had to live a secret life that I couldn't tell anyone about. My chosen profession has many successful females in it, so building a career as Michelle would not have been that much of a stretch for me (except for glass ceiling). My friends and co-workers usually seek out my advise on personal and business issues, especially when they are in a tough situation. I attribute that to being able to see multiple sides to an issue and empathy for each side. That trait came directly from me being TS.

It does beg the question - What do you think your life would be like now if you had transitioned back when you were 18.

Hugz from a daydreaming sister,
MichelleLynn

Rose:

When I was 18, and had been dressing in secret for at least six years, I thought I was an utter freak and one of a kind. I knew about gays, and even knew a few despite by very Catholic and very suburban upbringing, but trans--no, I could not imagine others existed who wished so hard that they were not the gender they were born with.
I still remember the first encounter with a trans person. It was very brief. It happened to be a Halloween night--in those days, about the only time people could go out. I had studied late and was rushing for a train, when I saw what at first appeared to be an attractive woman coming towards me. It didn't take me long to read that it was a man, although quite attractive and not at all provocative. A modest woman's outfit, as I remember. I was struck dumb. Was that possible?
Were I 18 again, would I transition? It's hard to say. Like you, I was frequently told by a variety of people in a variety of circumstances that I should have been a girl or woman. And not in critical way--it was often an honest reaction to some unconscious behavior of mine. If the information available today were available then, maybe. But we also know that the path even today is difficult to say the least.
Were going back possible, I'd go back 18 years and nine months earlier than that and urge that little X chromosome sperm to hurry her little butt to the egg before Y got there.

Abigail

Guess I'll team up with the crowd.
Yes I would have come out in public....transition.....maybe. That's hard to say, so much water under the bridge since then. It would have saved me from making many mistakes. Unfortunately, I'm talking about 1950 - not a good time for trannies. The military draft was still on - for males only....if I'd claimed transgender I would have been classified as a kook and sent to the nearest asylum. NYC was not friendly to the gay community either.....nor was my father.
So to answer your question the answer is yes but that's making the decision now. Can't really say what I would have done then.
hugs
Gracie

Hi Michelle...you begged ..
I really don't know what my life would have been like if I had transitioned at 18. It is possible that many in my circle would have said 'Ok you are that way anyway' but I just don't know. And I cannot really think of a time during the intervening years when transitioning would have been possible..The final catalyst was one day rushing to the post box in semi female mode and not getting any hassles...as I got back home I told myself 'I can do it' and next day I went to the doctors and asked about help.

Hey Rose!

I think I'll definately go with the crowd here. Yes it would have been great, no it would'nt have been possible due to a lack of understanding and awareness way back when I was 18. However, I readily celebrate and feel good for all those who are 18 to 21 today and transitioning. Whilst it is still not without its problems, there is far more help and support now then ever before. I feel joy in my heart for the NEXT generation of 18 to 21 year olds - surely paradise will truly be theirs!

On a personal note, on Easter Sunday I celebrated my 46th birthday. It occurred to me that I'm only 4 years off 50. And I think 'wow!' I can't wait. I think being 50 is such a wonderfull and cool age to be - only jealous that Marsha'll get there in just a year, lucky gal!

Oh, I will object to your opening statement, hun. 'Mature'? lol, not me!

Much love

Rae xx