There has been a lot of talk recently about passing and/or being accepted. While it is nice to pass, many of us may not, without a several thousand dollars worth of FFS. We can, however, easily be accepted.

I believe that the one of the problems are that the girls themselves expect to be too perfect in every aspect. Now there's nothing wrong in wanting to be as good as you can be (I know I'm guitly of that) but you can take it too far as well.

Gaining acceptance as being female isn't about surgery or hormones, (although of course I would love to have both!), it's about adopting the patterns of behaviour associated with being female, the way you walk, talk, hold your hands, cross you legs and so on, the way you project yourself and therefore how the pubic percieve you is all important..

Of course, surgery and hormones helps you physically and emotionally, but you can have both and still come across as a 'guy in a dress'. On the other hand, you can be part time and gain full acceptance.

I am not on hormones, neither have I had surgery (yet) and I don't do 'the scene' at all and yet have never had any problem in being accepted anywhere I have been and I know plenty of the other girls here have had the same experiences.

You might find that you don't have the same opportunities for transitioning as someone else does, but that doesn't mean you can't still be just as womanly.

Nikki

Niki
You've made a fine statement. I think that in trying to pass we (at times) have an ideal in our minds. We do our best to transfer the ideal to ourselves - though stuff. Our best bet is to work with what we were born with. My wife has a saying "Being smart counts - pretty we can work on."
When we're out shopping I can't resist commenting on the appearance of some GGs. Back when I was a youth it was called "being hit with an ugly stick." My wife tells me to "be nice" and "don't talk so loud - some of those GGs look tough enough to hurt you."
hugs
Gracie

An actress I always admired was Margery Main. She's dead now. She was originally a stage actor and moved to the movies. She had a gravely voice and a face that resembled an unmade bed - but was centainly a GG. So - it's how you present yourself- not only to yourself but to others.
I still like the old black and white movies.
hugs
Gracie

Hi Nikki
I agree wholehartedly with what you and carren have both said.
Too many girls become fixated on the apperance issue preventing them from being sucessful in their transition ie never being happy or satisfied and therfore missing out on being a happy contented person living as themselves. this is not soley a TS issue this affects many others in society.Accepting and leraning to love ourselves for who and what we are is the main path to living a happy life who ever you are Male Female TS, TV and inbetween.

I think acceptance kind of varies a lot and that the answer may be different to how well you are accepted depending on the situation.

I always try to figure out acceptance WHEN, acceptance BY WHO and acceptance in WHAT SITUATION people talk about when mentioning being accepted.
A transvestite might be accepted coming to a company party wearing womens clothing... That would mean he is accepted as a transvestite, people accept he is a TV, which is cool.
A mtf transsexual who gets read can get acceptance for being born that way, meaning the TS gets accepted as a transsexual. Which I guess is kind of cool too but also kind of silly, it's like accepting people with Down's Syndrome. Why wouldn't you? It's not like you can do anything about it anyway...

I remember being in that situation when people "accepted me as being TS" during transition and it sucked big time. Like when someone said "you are just as much woman to me as any other woman". Sorry, but just by saying that, you don't fully accept me as a woman... since you wouldn't likely say it to anyone else but me.

I wanted to be accepted as a woman in any situation I could possibly think of (that was achievable) such as in a changing room at the gym, at the beach, by guys I dated (you know, the sex thing), and so on...

I did *not* want to be accepted as a transsexual, that was just not good enough. Getting accepted as a woman in next to all situations mean passing is the key. If acceptance means acceptance as a woman then passing and acceptance is the same thing to me.

Hi Koala.
Yes not being taken as anything other than as a woman is for girls like us our Ideal.
Can we expect that when starting to transition ? we cant do that locked away in some room till the swan / Butterfly emerges. Unless we are very wealthy. For those of us having to work and do the day to day chores shopping etc we are changing slowly in front of those people we meet..Acceptance happens for me by being inviyed by women into their social circle and having everyday conversations and doing shopping ,going out for a girls night/ day. Shows acceptance in my book. No one has said the I accept you as a woman speech.But we know and they know that physically we was not born with the bodily attributes of a female.
The real teast I think is a few years down the road of transitioning when you meet new people male and female and how they react and treat you initially. We cant remove the knowledge that those who know us in the early months of transitioning actually know that we are doing so.
As long as women welcome me / you as one of their gender in how and what we chat discuss and do then I / you are accepted.

Hi Sarah,

You are right and maybe I should have written it... The kind of acceptance as a woman I talk about can only happen with people who didn't know you from before transition.
But to each their own, I think... which was what I really meant to say.... that the kind of acceptance that is acceptable to the acceptee (haha) varies a lot from person to person and situation to situation.

I think there is a lot of truth in that and it does depend on a person's situation. I guess ultimately for me it would be someone who didn't know me before to accept me as a woman. That isn't going to happen I don't think since I can't go down the hormones and surgery route so I am happy to be accepted as a transexual, at least for now, but for me personally, this is an ongoing process and I keep moving the bar higher so who knows, maybe I'll get there one day.

Nikki