It's true. I have had a lot of problems with mistaken gender identity this year and it seems to be getting worse.

Which is great!

Since the problems I am having are when I am supposed to be in male mode, (i.e. work or with the children). I put the early mistakes down to a fluke but it happens daily now and very frequently. I even got redirected to the ladies loos twice this week!

Okay, I have my own hair which is long and my ears are pierced and I wear women's jeans etc so at best I look androgenous but the odds of being called 'madam' etc has gone from 50/50 to being mistaken(?), no, accepted as a woman much more often. I get very odd looks if I use the gents.....

All of this is good of course but it does leave me with a dilema. Since I am not supposed to be full time, it's very hard to pass myself off as a man anymore, at the very least I am probably seen as gay/effeminate. It's much simpler (and nicer) to just be myself and people assume I am female. anyway

I only note this not as some sort of self congratulatory slap on the back, but more because this is not an issue I ever even considered before and I wonder how many of us (non full timers) it affects.

Nikki

Nikki We should all be so lucky.
Some time back I was in a dance club and the GGs used the "Mens" because they didn't like waiting in line - at least that's what I was told.
hugs
Gracie

what a dliemma( GOOD ONE) you got there nikki.


Lol xxxxxx
Anna-Marie

Yes that is a lot to put up with when not trying to pass.
And getting worse you say.
My friend you must be living right.

HI Nikki,
Congrats!!! Many of us strive to get to where you are today.
Hugz,
MichelleLynn

Lucky you..........or should I say, well done!
You've achieved goal, and I'm not talking sport.
If they can't tell ......it's their problem, not your's.

I should be so lucky......! Seriously though.......unless you're heavily into embroidered,sequined,flower-patterns or half-mast jeans nobody will notice whether your jeans are 'M' or 'F',believe me. I suspect that what you've managed to do is to subtly change your body language. In another thread somewhere you've inferred that your wife is your harshest critic.........it would seem that she's a very effective teacher and that you're a pupil who's eager to learn! Just don't ask me how you're going to sort this one out!;)

Right on!!

Ciao,
Lynn H.

I think the only viable solution is to use those ones that are appropriate to my gender, since that what people expect of me anyway.

It's a nice problem to have though.

Nikki

Nikki...the real you is showing... its just the same as all the years I was deep in the closet and trying to present a rough skinheaded, scruffily male clothed persona to the world only to have the world tell me all too often 'you are just like a girl' or call me variations of my former male name.

The annoying thing is that now I'm fulltime some people only focus on the bits of malefaceness that need expensive cosmetic/plastic surgery to fix.

Unfortunately Rose, for most of us full FFS just isn't an option. Such a pity. I know I would love to have the full works but it isn't going to happen, instead I try to focus on the things I can change.

The biggie now for me is the voice, it's ok but far from perfect.

Nikki

Nikki
If you are passing when presenting as a guy then any feminisation you have made is obviously working. I'm happy when I get told that I'm in my mid 40s not my real 58. As you say lots of us can't/don't want FFS so we try to make other changes.
Best wishes for the future
Alina xx

Every so often, my wife and I will be out and about and we will get addressed as "Ladies" and I will occasionally get addressed as "Mam". All this time I will be in male mode and dress.
I remember once I, my wife, and sister were driving up to the casinos across the border into OK for the day. We stopped for breakfast and the wateriest addressed us by saying, "Welcome to IHOP Ladies". She continued to address us as "Ladies" the whole time we were there. Even my sister, who does not know about my fem side, looked at me weird". LOL Then we decided to have lunch at the casino and again as we walked in, we were addressed as "Ladies". My wife leaned over to me and whispered, "Guess your a lady today". We both giggled.
I really think that some people pickup on the subtle things we do subconsciously and address us as what they perceive our gender. I have seen some very masculine women who would be very upset if they were addressed as a male. LOL

I believe a lot of it is to do with the subtle differences, which if you are doing things right, you probably have no idea you are doing them!!

Nikki

I find if I spend a long time as me like 2 or 3 days then I tend to walk and move more femin even in male mode even though i didn't mean to. I just do it but due to having short hair people just see me as a gay guy which is very annoying as i have enough trolls to tell to take a long walk off short pier without having gay men as well.

I think it comes down to the difference between being female and being feminine. A LOT of GG women are not feminine and get called sir.

For myself I want to one day have all the parts to be female, but in the mean time I am practicing to be feminine

Stephenie