I have a real problem with compulsive shopping. I love buying new clothes & just spending money.
The trouble is I spend more than I can afford. But it seems like I'm allways looking for something new.
This is for real. I'm getting in way over my head. I have to force myself not to buy something allmost everyday.
I should have no problem with paying my bills, but I'm barly getting by. I'm starting to get a bit scared as I don't seem to be able to stop.
Any help you girls might be able to pass on would be great!!!

Karen, I love to shop myself. I could make a living of it, lol. But seriously you are quite right that it can get out of control. So for you and everyone else with money issues, here are some tips.

At the beginning of every month, write out a budget that covers every last dollar, pound, whatever, that you expect to bring in for that month.

Food, housing, utilities and transportation come first. Now take the remainder and determine liveable amounts for things like clothing, maintenance, etc. and I hope you try to save some as will.

To stay within that budget, use the envelope system. if you budget $100 per month for clothes, place the $100 CASH in an envelope. When you decide to go clothing shopping, only take that envelope. when the money is gone, it is gone. If any is left, it can be carried to the next month or used elsewhere.

I hope this helps, best wishes.

Hugs,
Marsha

I could suggest massive daily doses of testosterone, but that might end up with you owning a large pile of footballs, cricket bats or neon, beer signs so I have to go with Marsha's approach. Wendy never gets to go shopping with all my cash....its a recipe for disaster and poverty. I only carry as much cash as I can afford to have spent on clothing or jewelry or shoes, etc.

Karen - been there, done that Compulsive shopping is what most retailers hope for. The stores set up their merchandise to trap you. Go "cold turkey" -stay out of stores, shops, botiques, etc.
Marsha Ann's suggestion has merit if you use cash only. What about credit cards? - "the devil's tool." Leave them at home or destroy them.
Like any other compulsion, it take conscious effort to break a habit.
Start with "baby steps" - tell yourself "I don't need that right now" or "Let me think about that some more" or better yet "I already have that at home."
I keep my hands in my jacket pockets - I'm tactile. So if I don't tough I won't be tempted.
Do what ever psych game you can think of to break the CSS = compulsive shopping syndrome.
hugs
Gracie

Mary, statistics show that people on the average spend 18% more when they use plastic instead of cash. Notice I said plastic which includes both debit and credit cards. That is why when you go into just about any store nowadays they have their own credit cards. It doesn't get any better going out for lunch. McDonalds and the other fast food restaurants realized by accepting credit cards average orders jumped from the $3 range into the $5 range.
Bon Appetit,
Marsha

It's quite good here because Germany isn't plastic dependant just yet so many places will not take credit cards anyhow. That means you have to use cash so it is far easier to budget I believe. It certainly changed my habits as I had moved away from carrying hardly any cash at all. Now I carry a certain amount and it lasts much longer. I resist making trips to the cashpoint and therefore when I do treat myself, it feels better since I know I haven't overdone it this month!

I always seem to be shopping but actually it's well under budget and never ever on plastic.

Nikki

It's online shopping & plastic thats getting me into trouble.

May I then suggest your next online purchase be for a pair of scissors so you can cut up that piece of plastic.
Hugs,
Marsha

and yes I am serious

Marsha - I made an outstanding purchase last year, I bought a shredder. It loves to eat plastic. Naturally, the banks keep approving me for more credit cards, so I laugh with a vengence as I shred their letters.
Ha! That will show them.
hugs
Gracie

Cutting up the card might be the best plan Karen, if you haven't got it to use, you won't be tempted.

Nikki

chop up the plastic i know to my cost its just too easy to spend esp on line i've just v painfully paid mine off - i don't intend a repeat performance



i take nikkis point when i was in germany recently having to part with actual cash rather than pay on cards in resturants etc

was a bit of a shock to the system but you do appreciate more what you spend and what you have

If there weren't so many different styles of clothes. Some of the tunics I see are just so awsome.
But realy how many does a person need?
My new kick is shoes. But there not cheep. I've bought 3 pair & just keep looking.
I have been reading what you girls have posted & sent 4 credit cards to thier deaths.
I'm keeping my debit card & my last cc which I don't owe an yet. It has a low limit & charges 2.9%
I've cancelled email alerts from my favorit shopping sites.
Beyond that I just have to learn to say no.

Hugs and best wishes Karen.
Love,
Marsha

Uh, send me the credit cards, I use them to spread Plastic Body filler on the doll houses I make ! Ellen S.

Hi everyone, I just came across this thread and felt to share my situation with CSS...(maybe the docs can med me up for it....hmm, yea, that's the solution...) Anyway, I've had years of compulsiveness with my money and "gotta buy it' ness. I'm just going to lay out my thoughts right now, not sure how it is going to come out.

Well, first off, at this moment I'm not finding myself "needing" to shop and spend.......and that is only because I have fallen in such a hole that I am finally realizing that it is absolutely ridiculous how I have been spending...oh, and several of my cards are maxed. One of the problems contributing to these shopping surges have been times of purging and than turning back. I believe that maybe this is something we have all faced and have in common...I can't assume everyone has though.

I can say that in my heart right know I have commited to never purging again and if the desires arise to throw it all away I will store everything until the swell revolves. I'm sure we could write a thick book as to how this happens, maybe discuss the whys, what all the feelings are that are involved and on and on, but I don't want to waist too much time. The key for me is to stop the rollercoaster effect and truely come to terms with my transgenderism. One way of coming to terms with it is to not be obsessive about dressing or "needing" to. Cloths are not the meaning of life and I do have to worry about my survival and there are others good things in this life to turn my attention to for fun and peace and whatever is good. I've recently been blessed with friends that support and accept me which has giving me tons of room to relax and express myself the way I feel. I'm not so caged anymore and things are a little more fun. AND I have taken the further steps ( which HAVE been scary) to NOT be affraid anymore of who I am and what others might think. I've come out more fully, even in Grand Forks ND, and have found many of my fears of others to be false... no real substance to it. (im getting a little rambly here but just let me flow I guess) Instead of just going to bars that I might think would except "someone like me" I have just decided to live normally and go to lunch occasionally or go see a movie, normal life not just "trans friendly" places, that just too boring to me. Sure, CAUTION IS advised and wisdom should be at the fore front of what we do...there are people who will hate you just for being you everywhere, that's just the way it is for any minority, I guess.

I think I am running off the point to the thread...compulsive spending. OK, re-focus...

I think one feeling I have is that there is a void I'm trying to fill and buying stuff is just one form or way of filling it. I think that void consist mostly of loneliness. I guess I will simplify this a bit for the sake of my time. I've found friends that accept me, ive gotten out of the house to find other forms of entertainment and got a part time job (on top of my full time job) to fill more time, and as a result my compulsion to go and buy and shop for hours has decreased dramatically. Sure, when I go to target I will lose track of what I went to go shop for (and I have made a point of knowing what I NEED to go to the store for) and find myself strolling through the cloths racks thinking how cute this or that would look and how much I want that new fuzzy pink robe and on and on until I shake it off and decided to get on with what I went to buy. It's all been a process this past year, I still at times just cant turn away from buying those awesome furry socks that would be ohh so warm in -40 below.......My friends have had to deal a few times with me going to the store to buy them something to help with dinner in an hour and I end up coming back with them wondering were the h&(( I went and why it took me soooo long to just pick up some tomatoes. I love my friends and it's been a bit of a wake up call.

Well, if I had a week I would try to organize my thoughts better. But I just hope to shed some light, even the least bit, on this issue. If nothing, I hope to just be a voice of understanding and hope you see your not alone, theres others here dealing and livin life the same as you. Today was a good day for me, I'm dealing right know with my smoking habit and trying to go till 10 pm without a cig. I'm just waiting around for that 10 to hit so I can hit that cig....ugggg. 9:36pm right know........hurry....up...da......mn..............clockkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahemmm....compose myself now....

Luvs all around,

Erica

Hey, I finally took that step to try to get involved.....yea me.......also, i'm always open to constuctive criticism and for others to help me with any writing flaws. ok, thats it....bye bye