I'm trying to promote this thread, for attention and keep it to the front, not for any egotistical reasons, but its very important. Having had a chat to someone in the chat room, whilst supporting their partner, the partner is being bombastic and using emotional blackmail, there seems to be no give and take in the relationship. It seems to be all giving on the part of the SO and all take on the husbands part. Unfortunately very often the TS's desires are paramount to them, they adopt a very selfish attitude, This from my point of view I can understand to a certain extent. Luckily I was too young and not in a relationship when I started transitioning. I do wonder though, If I had been older and married would I have followed my desires and instinct regardless. Probably. Hoping my partner would have stood by me, but would never have resorted to emotional blackmail, That is a recipe for disaster, eventually resulting in resentment from the SO and if the TS felt they could not transition then resentment from their side. Honesty and pre-determined boundaries must be set and adhered to, for the relationship to continue. As far as acceptance goes, I spose things are getting easier. But there will always be the moronic bigots out there, with their self induced blindness, Intent on castigating people and maligning what they don't understand. I think people like you Nikki, giving up the ultimate desire to fully transition, to keep your promises,
honour commitments made, are admirable, unselfish and does you credit. Sometimes compromise does lead to lasting happiness for both parties and all concerned.

xxX Cristine Xxx

A willy does not make the man, that#s just an associated label for the generally accepted classification of the norm.



This post was edited by Cristine Jennifer Shye. BL at June 9, 2020 9:32 AM BST

Cristine - sorry, I've been out of town or I would have added my tuppence earlier.
You are so right - I can't thank my wife enough for accepting me for who I am. She is most supportive in so many ways. One time we were out , I felt that she became my protector - odd. She critiques my makeup, my choice of clothing. She buys me hose and clothies. She compliments me when I make a sensible purchase. We also share jewelry. Wow! Can't say enough about her.
I wish all here would have such a partner.
hugs and kisses
Gracie

From posts in the significant others forum, Sometimes we forget to acknowledge the support and dedication we get from these people, I don't mean to say we as TV's TS's are a me me altoghether group, but do we sometimes neglect to pay tribute
to these wives GF family etc, who very often by association are snubbed and subject to ridicule for being supportive.

I would ask everyone who has a supportive significant other in their lives, Just place a small tribute to them in here.




xxX Cristine Xxx


Heartfelt thanks, Julie my special Mamma, Uncle H and cousin Martin. and Cass for always being there for me.

Appears no one realy cares on this one, probably to busy fighting over what is femininity than take two minutes to acknowledge and recognise the prediciment of the supporting significant others,

Hi Cristine,
I very much care, and I agree with you, we all should make sure that everyone that supports us is aware of how much their support, and acceptance means to us. I think we both know what femininity is Cristine, so why waste time fighting over it, seems to me there are far more important issues to deal with, but that's just my thinking- - - your as well?

OK, enough of that,- my heartfelt thanks and love goes out to all those that are accepting and supportive of me through this journey,,, my Mother, my EX, my brother and his wife, my Uncle and his SO,actually all my family, and those few that have stayed with me, and to all that I have come to know now, their love and friendship means more than mere words can say, but is held in my heart with love and thanks to all. It really does make a difference in my life.



OK, what say the rest out there??? Give credit and thanks to those we love and care about, and love and care for us as well.

Bridgette

I'm sorry Cristine, I hadn't noticed this thread and it actually has tremendous meaning to me. My wife means everything in the world to me and it is because of her courage and support I am now fulltime. Many know me from when I first came to TW and how I was an emotional wreck. That was shortly before I cameout to my wife. My biggest worry was losing her when she found out what was going on. Many here at TW encouraged me to be selfish and just do what was right for me, as if they knew what was right for me. Sadly it is unfortunate that few marriages remain together when this is thrust upon a wife. I held fast and never stopped trying to keep things together because I love her so dearly. I can't thank my wife enough for hanging in there and taking the time to understand what being TS was all about. As she understood more, she became my biggest self-confidence booster and because of that 2008 was an incredible year in my life. I am so fortunate to have her as my wife.

Thanks for posting the thread,
Hugs,
Marsha

I have to say a huge 'thankyou' to my wife who has stayed with me throughout everything. She has had to wrestle with all kinds of issues that she never expected to be married to a transgendered person and through it all she has been absolutely fantastic. Ultimately, she is the reason why I am not pursuing SRS but if you knew her like I do, you would understand why I don't want to live without her. She is my rock, and I have needed her so much over the past few years, I think I would have gone insane without her.

As an example, just yesterday she booked us a girly holiday in the Canary Islands together, how great is that! We're both dusting off our bikini's and looking forward to a sun soaked holiday with just the two of us. She's truly wonderful.

Nikki

Nice to see a few have responded in a positive way, showing appreciation for what must be extremely difficult for the SO to come to terms with. But loving the who, not the what prevails. We hear so much about seperation and breakups, nice to see a few examples of success and understanding. Takes a special person to take on board the initial shock and uncertanties of the TS world.

xxX Cristine Xxx

We have had such a long time to come to terms with ourselves and it can be so hard for a partner to accept everything and come to terms with it on a much shorter timescale. You hit the nail on the head though, it's the 'who' and not 'what' their partner is that makes them so special.

I should also mention my children as well, the elder ones at least, since they too have had to come to terms with me and did so without even batting an eyelid. Sign of the times perhaps? Hopefully their generation will be far more accepting than those that have come before.

Nikki

My special and very heartfelt thanks to my wife, Denise. Who, if she could, would probably slip an anti-TG pill into my coffee. But being the practical and very, very wonderful and intelligent person that she is, has chosen to accept me for who I am and to be supportive and kind and loving and understanding. I am blessed. Thank you, my darling. I love you so much.

Hugs...Joni Marie

This topic demands some serious contemplation before posting.

Joni, Dee is a wonderful lady and I look forward to meeting her.

My Sundance has not only been totally accepting and supportive, but she has done so without giving up her "self" and her needs, which makes her acceptance more meaningful and valued. I know her issues and can help her as well as dealing with those issues from my end. I don't have to guess. This honesty is invaluable to me because it removes any doubts I have about her and keeps communication open between us. It's not always easy or fun to hear what she says, but it is far better than "hidden agendas" and I am grateful to her for her honesty and strength and trust. She has been a good friend AND girlfriend to her friend and girlfriend. She has been my extra strength as well as promoting my self-acceptance. To all the SO's out there, non-judgmental acceptance and personal honesty can open the path to a couple helping each other cope with the "Transgendered Elephant" in the living room.

Well!!! usually I am underwhelmed by responses to my threads, this one has had such positive feedback, I'm overjoyed. Although only a few have responded, It has been worthwhile, Some very lucky girls. May your happiness last forever.


xxX Cristine Xxx

In fairness to a low number of respondants to this thread, I think it's true to say that a large number of TG people either don't have that special person in their lives, or their other half isn't aware of their feminine side and so they can't be supportive (or not!). For those of us who do have someone there for us, I think it's so important to show them just what they mean to us, after all, they too have made sacrifices to give us this life we so desire.

Nikki

I agree with quite a few comments here. Some girls don't have a special person in their lives, and some have partners who are totally unaware of their feminine side, but by and large, a lot have partners who are not at all supportive, and some even are completely intolerant.

I am one of the lucky ones, but I don’t ignore the fact. I’m very lucky to have E-J and she is very supportive indeed, so to add my tribute.........

E-J, you mean the world to me. You are the most wonderful, caring, and compassionate person in my life, and every day I think of you with love and fondness.

Anymore happy stories, Something to rise above so much doom and gloom of late....


xxXCristineXxx
This post was edited by Cristine Jennifer Shye. BL at June 14, 2020 8:22 AM BST

For those here that don't already know, my father is also TS and has chose to live a dual life. My mother new about my dad from day one, so this tribute goes out to my mother for being a devoted wife to my father for 51 years. In my dad's early days it wasn't realistic to let anyone know what was going on with you so obviously they had a special relationship which continued until her passing just over two years ago. After telling my dad about me being TS, he said that he believed my mother knew. A special woman indeed.

In two weeks I will be headed to Las Vegas where my father has found a new special woman to marry. She happens to be Thai and fully accepts my father and me for that matter. Since telling my father about me a little over a year ago, our relationship has truly grown. Once again I am so fortunate and thankful for the people in my life.

Hugs,
Marsha

Can I ask Marsha, how you see and refer to your Dad now? Is she still your Dad or do you see her slightly differently? Perhaps your answer to this might give some of precious insight into what it means to our families. For my part my cousin is also TS and I see her as Jenny, however we were not very close so it is not hard to accept. That said I found myself wincing at first every time I refered to her by her old name.

Ali, I have a simple view on that. My dad will always be my dad just as I will always be my kids dad. Around others I will call him as he/she presents. So as a general rule, I just call my dad, dad. I am not really too hung up on what I am called, of course my preference is with the correct gender, but I am a good person and proud of who I am so therefore I have nothing to hide. I don't know exactly how to describe this feeling, basically I am at peace with who I am now.
Hugs,
Marsha

This is a good thread. sorry that I just got to it.
For the last 14 years, I have been with the same women. Yes, we had our high and low points. Supported me right through all the changes, until she thought that she had to let me go to become the person that I needed to be. We went our separate ways for some time, this truly broke my heart, she was not only my lover but my best friend, that enjoyed the same passions of life. Someone that knew my deepest thoughts, and I could confide in. During that time, was when I had a serious discussion with me, myself and I. (Bad combination) What was I going to do with what was left of my life.(The rest of that story is in the senior trans life post) But fate has it's ways, we got back together and got married two years ago. She respects my position but I also respect hers, and her wishes. So we worked out a compromise, that is acceptable for both of us. She knows that my female part makes me into the person that I am, and fell in love with.
Yes, we shop together, critique each others style and makeup, all a plus.
But I feel blessed to have a beautiful women that is younger than I, and she really could have chosen a different path in life, but wanted to walk her path next to mine. Something that I learned in AA, was ...that we have to look inside and make changes, so when the right person comes by they will recognize us.

Jusr re-reading some of my threads and posts, perhaps resurect this one, to show new members that there is a life and support after tranyism. make sure you appreciate the support if you have it, and never forget there is give and take in everything.
The main thing helping the SO to understand, not shoving it in their faces as an ultimatum.

Cristine.

Thank you again Cris for resurrecting this thread. This is my 4th post in this thread. I went back and reread what I had already posted here and it nearly brought me to tears. This is an excellent reminder that the people in your life supporting you need to be thanked constantly. You can't take anything for granted in life. It needs to be said verbally, it needs to be written, it needs to be shown with the emotion it deserves. I thank God daily for the people in my life. I am truly blessed to have my wife and family.
Hugs,
Marsha

Hi Cristine,

While there is no one currently, there have been loving and supportive folks throughout my TG life.

So thanks to Susan, Cyndi, Sue and Suzie. And I shouldn't leave out Michael, Marsha, Susan and Geoff.

I love them all for their friendship, acceptance and for putting up with me.

Best,
Melody

I would reiterate what I have said already in this thread, nothing has changed, my wife is still there for me, pity she has no intention living with a woman but I accept that and I would rather stay as I am and remain with her and my children, (the little ones, as the older ones are all elsewhere now), than have SRS and lose her. She means everything to me and besides, we made a commitment to each other.

I've said it before, she's my rock, and I would be floundering without her.

Nikki

I've got four older sisters (very handy if you happen to be a CDr). They've always known I preferred being a girl and have always been supportive to their "wee sister" as was my lovely Mum. So I'd like to thank my big sisters Hannah, Shelia, Babs, and June.

Of course I want to thank Josie. But, in all fairness, she knew about me from day one. Still, it is nice to have someone who accepts and supports me.

My family and coworkers have also been supportive.

Thanks!

Hi, Cristine!
You and alot of other girls have given me support on this site, and I thank you from the bottom
of my heart for that. Also, my wife has always supported me in all things, and does still put
up with my crossdressing, even though she doesn't like it. I kinda think we're still in the
beginning stages of dealing with this, as I have only been dressing 1 year so far. Thx for
starting this link!
Kisses,
Jenny

Mandy Watts said:

I agree with quite a few comments here. Some girls don't have a special person in their lives, and some have partners who are totally unaware of their feminine side, but by and large, a lot have partners who are not at all supportive, and some even are completely intolerant.

I am one of the lucky ones, but I don’t ignore the fact. I’m very lucky to have E-J and she is very supportive indeed, so to add my tribute.........

E-J, you mean the world to me. You are the most wonderful, caring, and compassionate person in my life, and every day I think of you with love and fondness.

About time this was recycled

Good thread to read. thanks for bumping it up again!

I will always remember that its not just the trans person that gets grief, a neighbour once told my aunt I needed seeing to, it was disgusting. my aunt replied ''Just think our house is the most valuable property along this road, because we don't have any weird trannies living next door to us, dragging down property prices''

Cristine, Shye (GS Admin) said:
Anymore happy stories, Somthing tor ise above so much doom and gloom of late....


xxXCristineXxx

 

Crissie .

 

You never fail to amaze me .

 

Heres a happy story "You" For all that you have been through in your life you have come through it all like the brightest star in the sky.

 

Julia xxxx

 

This post was edited by Former Member at January 29, 2013 11:09 PM GMT