Hi Girls, well I’m not sure how to start or how to explain my conduct but all I can do is to tell the truth for once and hope one day you can all forgive me and accept that I am a fool.
Well here goes, Firstly I’m not full time never have been probably will never be and I have been lying about my situation for nearly 18 months.
I am just a fake with too many issues to deal with that somehow I can’t just be myself and be honest about myself even in trannyweb.
I have met quite a few girls from here and have been constantly lying about myself to them and the rest of the TW community; I don’t know why I have to lie to try and be part of the group but I guess it’s just a part of me that I can’t control.
I hope the good friends I have made here can one day forgive me for all the lies and accept that I was just trying to fit in and that I’m really sorry for being a liar but I cant take them back or live with the realisation that my friends are begging to realise I’m a fake.
So to finish all I can say is I’m very sorry for all the lies and I hope one day you will forgive me.
I will take my leave of you all now girls I am cancelling my membership and leaving TW for good I hope very much you all get whatever you are seeking and that you all have very happy lives.
Lots of love always
Sammi (the fake) Smith
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Bye Bye Girls sweet dreams tc xxxxxx

Hiya Sammi,

I hope you get to read this huni.

I've known you since I joined TW and you are the first member I met in real life on 25 Aug 07, my first time out in public. I have always regarded you as my best friend and I love you to pieces. You are the nicest, most caring and sensitive individual and I really respect and care for you ever so much. you are not a faker and any lies you might think you have told are insignificant you are still you and i love you for who you are!

It doesnt matter what you say about yourself, its what others say about you that counts!

Thing is, whoever the individual you are, want to be, allow yourself to be, you will always be my best friend and I will always be your best friend through whatever you go through or wherever you want to go in life. I will always be there for you huni.

love you so much!
penny
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Sammi.
Please don't leave. Most of us neither care if you are full-time or not. Most if they are honest would admit they have exaggerated online at least once. I personally was essentially dual role in 2004 and 2005 but mostly male but people assumed I was full-time and I did nothing to correct this. Someone I was close to who you were in a relationship can back this up. This evening everyone in the room was saddened by your leaving saying we feel you are a lovely caring soul, and that its really no big deal to them at all.
With love and highest regards Alison x x x

Sammi, I sure hope you will reconsider. You are a real person, a fulltime wonderful person. I'm sure it does hurt you to admit to this, but the bottomline is it doesn't take away that you are a special gal to have around here and obviously as others have mentioned, in person also. No matter what you choose to do I will always wish you the very best in life.
Hugs,
Marsha

dear sammi

i no its not easy been a girl in the real world i have been full time over 5 years , I have had lots of ups and downs and times i have felt all i wanted to do is give up , Stay with it and just understand that at times not going to easy ! i think you new this anyways , just be truefull to your true self !


Gemma xxx

I hope you won't go Sammi, you're one of the first people I remember meeting in here. It's already been said and very true - sometimes it's not easy to be as open as we'd like in all kinds of areas of our lives, please try not to be so hard on yourself

Sandra x

Sammi

Please do not leave.

Your Sammi to us in here it does not matter if you are full time or not.

Trinny

Thank you Girls for your kind comments, but at the end of the day i have spent the last 18 months lying to everyone here about my situation and feel very ashamed of myself right now. I will leave my membership intact for now and see how i feel in a few days or weeks, Then i will decide if i will be coming back or not.

So since ive lied so much i think its time i came clean and told you all just where and what i am. Firstly i'm not full time and never have been, i dress part time at home and apart from weekends away i have very rarely dressed anywhere else, i truly wish i had the confidence and drive to go full time and transition but i havent got that, i am far to sensative for my own good and will probably never be able to face up to the world.
I am out to my family and the 2 none TG friends i have but thats all and it will be staying like that coz there is no way i could ever come out at work they would crusify me in an instant.
I have met quite a few girls from here and have made some really good friends who i have lied to for far to long and hope they will forgive me for that and maybe one day i can get my act together and just be myself.
I really do wish i could transition or even better have been a RG right from the start, but i havent got the courage to do that and i am struggling living with it from day to day like most TG peeps, so i guess you could say i'm a tranny who wishes she had the courage to be a t-girl.

Hugs Sammi xxx

opps

My God Sammi, stop the nonsense. You are right where each and everyone of us fulltime gals were at some point in our lives. You belong here, not for us, but for yourself. Quit beating up on yourself. You are loved here.
Love,
Marsha

Sammi.....fake is something you most definetly are NOT!!!. Ok, so you've told a few porkies but haven't we all done that at some time in our lives?. Please don't quit on us hon, peeps sure would miss you!



LOL xxxxxxxxx
Anna-Marie

Sammi, love, you're my friend, nothing else matters! Love you loads xxxx Penny

Hi Sammi

Dont worry about it, who cares anyway, one day this planet will collide with the sun, will it really matter if your taxes are up to date?

Lifes too short for all this and theres no such thing as reality anway, I'm a gnu!

I left you a voicemail, please call me back and hurry up back here we all love you.

Love

Layla

Sammi. Sensitivity has never been a crime, and courageous acts are not defined by scale but by significance. It took far more courage to explain your situation than to maintain an illusion. Big weight removed I guess..
Those here who know you well will continue with the more emotive 'don't go's'. Can I just suggest that you're being a silly moo?
Rachel

Sammi, sorry I have only just seen this to respond to but stop worrying about things and forget it. I have met you and you are who you are, and I have no problem with who you are. So you want to be more than you are, you aren't alone there and you know it. Your friends, and that includes me, don't care if you are a p/t tranny who only dresses at home or if you are a post op girl, it YOU we are friends with, regardless.

You have my email if you want to get in touch and talk about it. I'll support you in any way I can.

Now just be yourself, we won't think any less of you.

Nikki x

Dear Sammi-

Even though I don't know you very well at all, I hope you won't mind my chiming in. Hon, there are far worse sins committed every day than a little bit of exaggeration about ourselves. Voluntarily coming clean shows what sort of person you are and what sort of character you have. To me it shows honesty, caring, and sensitivity to the feelings of others, how could you be a more fulltime woman than that? How you dress and how often is only facade, what counts is if you are a girl inside. Where it matters. We all make mistakes and sometimes choose and even persist in behavior that is not good for us, the ability to change and make amends is what counts.

Please don't leave, Sammi. TW needs people like you. This is all a journey of self discovery and finding the right path, to me it sounds like you are on it. I so hope you will stay and continue to be a part of the community.

Hugs...Joni Marie

Sammi,

I've lied to others, and myself, about what I am all my life until 5 years ago. WILL ANYONE IN THE TG FAMILY WHO HAS NEVER LIED, ACTIVELY OR PASSIVELY ABOUT BEING TG, PLEASE STAND UP. YAH, THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT. Sammi, it looks like you have plenty of company. Forgive yourself., it's the one thing we can ALL understand.

Joni stands up.

I have to agree that most of us have claimed to be more or less than we realy are to others.
But do we do the same to ourselfs.
How many TS's have familys or friends & so lie to themselfs that they are only CD's when in thier harts they realy want or need more.

Sammi were you lying to us or were you voicing what you realy want?

Sammi.

You are one of the nicest people I have met.

So, you may have bent the truth a little bit. You're not the first, and I doubt you'll be the last.

Get your ass back here at once!

Sue. XXX