Hi Katie,

As you know Katie i came here just over 2 years ago in a complete mess ready to die and only to glad to keep trying to make that happen. After a few weeks in TW i realised that i was not alone and i made lots of friends here and tried to explain in the interview i gave just what TW had done for me.
As i have already explained in a previous post most of my life for the last few years has been a lie, mostly to try and fit in and be (for the first time in my life) excepted for who i am.
I have complained about TW chat to you before and even volunteered as a hostess for chat to try and improve things and make TW as good as it was when i first came here, But unfortunately my efforts have been in vain and the chat room is still like a ghost town most of the time.
I put the blame for that squarely on Lilienne's shoulders and the fact that some of the nicest people i have had the priveledge to know have left TW because of your administration. I will name just a few to make my point, Sarah Conner, Rebecca Dove, Glo,and many more including M/A who resingned from head chat mod because of the Admin problems.
Katie hon this is not meant as a personal attack and in many ways your site has saved me from oblivion and given me the strength to carry on, but when you place your trust in people who only go into chat to talk about them selves and sod everyone else, then i can no longer be a part of this community.
I let my payments subside nd bacame a none paying member for the last 3 months to see how things worked out but unfortunately it has not in any way.
So i regret very much that i have to take my leave and ask you to remove my mod status and login from this site for good.
I would like to say Thank You Very Much to All the Girls here who have helped me and been god friends along the way even though i lied to them most of the time.

Bye Bye night night sweet dreams girls xxxxxxxx
See you in another life i hope
bye Sammi xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Sammi

Sorry you have decided to leave us.

Until 3 years ago I was a regular on 'Chat', but had similar problems. However, there are other things to do and take part in here. What about the Forums and Blog for instance ? Remember only a small percentage of members use 'Chat" Please reconsider your decision
as we need you.

Hugs
Joanne

I think we need to look at how important the chat room is in bringing members to the site to use the other features, not how much use it gets per se. I am here at TW for almost 5 years and it was the chat room that brought me here and made me want to stay. Who knows where I would have ended up otherwise, if anywhere. There is a reason Walmart has greeters at the front doors. I consider the Chat Room one of TW's most important assets.

I hear a lot of complaints about people in the chat room, but everyone has an Ignore option for any person in the chatroom. If someone bothers you by their chat.....click it. Take some personal responsibility.

Sammi,
You were talking about this last night in detail. One of the reasons I stay is because i can count on the people here. Do I ever just talk about myself? Of course! And when I do so the people here listen and help me out. Right now my main concerns are for my kid, who is dealing with the knowledge of how I am, and Josie, who is burying her mom today.

We all have so much more work to do. We have a great means for which to do so. We're just getting started. We can use all the help there is.

Mere

Mmm…..
Where would I be without Tranny_web and its wonderful chat room?

On some 3rd rate site where people only meet to type with one hand whilst fondling themselves? Maybe.

Like many of you girls, I have seen good and great people come and go. I am still here because I have never gotten involved in TW politics.

For the 6 years that I have been a member here, only 2 of them were Full membership. I never fully utilised the Full membership benefits but was proud to belong to something that I believed in. I have been loyal to this site and this site only. It’s the only social network website that I use. There are in fact 2 reasons that I have not retaken my Full membership status.

1- My lifetime half price deal was not honoured
2- As more and more of my friends leave, Full membership has less value to me.

In truth everyone remembers the good old days better than today. That is true of any situation. The past is gone! We need to look to the future. Analyse what we all want from a chat room as a community and give the people what they want! (Not just one persons idea of perfection.)

Katie I urge you to look closely at how the chat room should be best run to serve our community and restore its value x

Best of luck

ACE x

Sorry to hear you're leavin us sammi, but i can kind of understand why you have taken that choice hon. It is a DAMN shame that some of the peeps i regard as friends have decided to leave because of the way certain things are done.

Even i've noticed that things dont seem the same in chat now & to be honest it doesnt help matters when our head chat mod Lillienne is rarely ever here. We really should have chosen a girl who''s regularly there ALL the time & not some of the time. As for getting rid of chat, i think that would be the BIGGEST mistake ever.....mainly because it was chat that brought me to TW over six years ago now. One Good thing might be to just have a new head chat mod, and do away with all the other mods because i think its that which is the problem.


Lol xxxxxxxxx
Anna-Marie

As a mod, I get into chat as often as I can. I work three jobs, with more to come, and I really want the chatroom to be as great as ever.

I also want to profile as many of you as I can in the Tribune.

We need to pull together right now. Let's remember why we are here.

Mere

I'm sure my input as a newbie will have a lot of pull in here...(g) Seriously, if you drop chat, it will keep the shy, timid, from maybe ever stepping out. Oh, did I mention that resembles me? PLEASE keep chat!
Traci

Anna if you get rid of all the mods just who is going to monitor the room.
Maybe your right we need a hostess that sits home allday doing nothing but talking in the chat room.
But than she wouldn't have anything worth talking about would she.

Anna-Marie,

I have to disagree with you on getting rid of Chat Hostesses. In fact, they were originally implemented because of some very serious problems, with some individuals who came to TW, and were to make the chatroom safe and usable again. Some of us were even getting hate mail. Let's not go back to those times. Despite our problems, our chatrooms are relatively safe from this now and without the overbearing, almost frighteningly so, supervision I have experienced at some sites.

....and what Traci said.

You got a point there karen, i have to admit because from time to time we do get some ODD peeps in chat As for the hostess bit, i wasnt saying that we should have someone sitting in chat 24/7 because that'd soon bore them to tears. I was merely suggesting that we have a hostess be it Lillienne or anyone else, someone whos regularly here & who the girls respect.

And if there was EVER a better reason for keeping chat, then just look at Traci-Lee o'Gara's post because i think that says it all!


Lol xxxxxxxxx
Anna-Marie

Nice to know that it's all my fault

In fact most, if not all the names listed left because of a certain member, whose memory I won't resurrect here

That said, I have been a little neglectful of the chatroom of late, as I have unbelieveably busy lately outside of TW. That all changes as of next week, and I will be putting my efforts back into getting the room buzzing again.

There is supposed to be a team of mods to assist in the task, so even if I'm not there, there should be someone around to make users feel welcome and to keep the chat going - clearly this is not happening, so maybe it is time to shake things up a little, and re-examine who should be a mod.

I would be totally against the idea of loosing chat, I'm a very interactive kind of person, and like the immediacy of the chatroom, I don't believe I would come to TW at all if there were no chatroom, and before you all cheer - I'm not the only one who feels that way !

Sammi, I'm real sorry you feel this way, I would hate to loose you as a chatter and a mod - I think you are one of the best, but the solution I think is not to run away from the problem, but rather, face it and improve on it - You have a valid complaint, let's see if I can address it !

Dear Sarah-

Please let Sammi know we are here for. She is always welcome. My best to her and to you as well.

Hugs...Joni Marie

Sarah,

You are one of the dearest friends a person could ask for and Sammi is lucky to have you in her life.
It is totally understandable that Sammi is going through a tough time. I for one would love to give her as much support as possible. Can do that when she comes back.
She is always welcome. if you could tell her that we understand what she is going through and when she comes back she will be greeted with open arms.


Ace x

Without knowing what is honestly going on with Sammi it is wrong to even attempt to assign blame to anyone at TW. I'm not sure what some people think Chat Mods can really accomplish because we are not miracle workers. Blaming Lilienne is ridiculous. Anyone who has been at TW long enough has seen the chat room participation go in cycles. TW Chat is the best social non sex TG chat on the internet, people come and go, personalities come and go. As for chat mods, we try to keep some kind of conversation going and make new members feel welcome. On rare occasions we stop arguments.

People are often like sheep, If one goes over the edge, the rest follow. That is human nature, people drive in packs, they jump on the band wagon without knowing what they are talking about, they will change their vote because they want to pick the winner, simply put people like to follow someone else. So if that leader leaves, the sheep follow, such is life. Sometimes it is a good thing and sometimes it is not. As for Sammi, I will always wish her well.

Hugs,
Marsha

M/A if you want to go back farther you can add a lot more names to the list of people that don't come here anymore.
You can also list many different reasons. People will allways come & go. Some we'll miss some we won't.

Earlier todayI was starting to roll up my sleeves. Lilienne had me stop.

Girls, we have the greatest place on the planet. Don't lose it. We can make this the best.

There is no reason to be angry.

Mere

Having come into this thread quite late, first, Sammi, do what ever you need to do to sort yourself out hon, and if that means taking a break from us, then so be it. Your friends will try and keep in touch via email or phone regardless and you should never feel afraid to pick up the phone and ask for some help and support either. Whatever you choose, please take care. xxx

Secondly, why has this thread just become a finger pointing session to see who's head should roll? That's very unfair to those who give up free time to try and keep this a welcoming place. Some of us have jobs and families to care for and can't spend hour after hour on TW, though we do make sure we drop in and out regularly. Things may be different in chat but that's life, people come and go, and hostess's can only do so much. Don't foget also though that as a result of using chat for a long while you will change yourself, so maybe it isn't Chat that has changed but is you instead? I know I go in there for far different reasons now than I did three years ago.

The chatroom should stay, I found it invaluable when I joined, it's still fun and like anything, it's what you make of it. For some, it is their only chance to get 'out' and talk to others in the same situation, surely a healthy thing.

Nikki

hiya,

firstly, to Sammi, you are loved dearly by many people huni. Whatever you chose to do, you will always have friends here. being trans is a struggle and whatever difficulties you face, we are with you and you have our support. i accept you for just being you, you're a lovely person and that is more important than anything else, just be my friend xxx.

to everyone...

regarding chat, TW chat is the best I found. i am a member on quite a few chat rooms but i always come back to TW. its the only one where i have made friends, got to know people and had a jolly good laugh. people come and go, it doesnt happen any less on other chat rooms so why should TW be any different? its how things are. if someone leaves then its because they made the choice to leave regardless of any reason.

regarding the mass exodos a while back, was caused by particular problems but i would now say those problems have faded away, however, all the people who have left havnt come back, i can only conclude that they needed a reason to leave, or they would be back by now. i find it strange that people seem to make such permanent decisions over such temporary issues. nothing that the ignore button wouldnt resolve.

regarding moderators or hostesses, what is a hostess? just an ordinary member with extra responsibilities and im sure every member selected with these extra responsibilities gives their best. the chat room atmosphere is created by the members who participate, so am i to gather that any complaints about the chat room are directed towards ordinary members? no hostess is going to be a mirical worker, they are just there to provide a sense of security to new members, and nothing more than a normal member can provide, like a "hiya" and a "welcome to TW". there are people i miss who no longer come here but they chose to leave and what can i do about it? im always making new friends and some of them might decide to move on, it is a "trans" comunity after all. it is what it is unfortunately.

ok, thats my contribution! lol,i'll try not to leave vomit in the chat room again!

Heavens!
It must be the change of seasons - global warming - too many hormones - mid-life crisis.
Thank the goddess, the new moon is over.
Now can we get back to being "just girls"?
I love you all but I'm getting too old for these crisis(is there a plural?).

hugs
Gracie

<delete> Nothing harmful. Just a silly remark I wish to withdraw. Nothing to do with those who have contributed to this thread and to whom this is quite serious. People come and go, and losing friends is always a significant thing. To those who have left, for whatever reason, there may be other places on the web and, of course, other places in "reality, whatever that means, in this day and age. All I can say, speaking for myself, everyone is welcome here. Please reconsider and come on back, the door is always open.

Honestly, from what I have seen about the fights we have gotten into, most of them seem to be about personalities rather than real substance, like most barfights do. Yes, I have been in some. Feelings get hurt and for some, that's it, it's all over. "I'm never coming in this place again! You're all a bunch of effin b*tches!" But the place stays open, the lights are always on, and there's a fresh glass of whatever you care for waiting for you.

I hope I haven't been too crude or too uncaring about the genuinness of people's feelings over the issue involved. For heaven's sake, let's all just try to get along and cut each other some slack.

Hugs...Joni Marie

This may be a stupid question but have all those people listed in this thread actually left TW? Or can it be that they're just keeping their heads down,for one reason or another? I say this because a couple of days ago I happened to notice that someone, who about 6 months ago in quite a huff announced her departure from TW in no uncertain terms,had very recently looked at my profile.(about a week before I noticed that she'd had a look).I can't say that I've noticed any postings from her since her 'departure' last year. OK,Katie's probably the only one who knows the details but I do wonder just how many departures are threatened but don't actually take place.

cheers

Lynn H.

I have said it before and I'll repeat myself. SOME of us, due to a lifetime of rejection for being who we are, are overly sensitive to criticism. I am among those. Our reaction to situations can result in anger and decisions that are not the best for us long-term and are often rough on those around us. Leaving TW can be one of those responses. We have seen, in the past, that it can be permanent or temporary. Sometimes it is provoked by a misunderstanding. Some of my best friends on TW are a result of my hanging in and trying to talk it out with the person. In fact, that is true in my life. One of my longest friends is someone with who I shared a mutual aversion but within a year we tolerated each other and a year later we were lifetime friends. My point is, important decisions should be made over time, not in anger or fear. May I suggest that, the next time someone upsets you, you try to talk and understand why they are behaving that way. We have a lot of buttons to be pushed. Let us try to not go off every time someone pushes one, deliberately or inadvertently.

What Wendy said. Personally speaking my nickname should be "Buttons", I am extremely sensitive to criticism and can even perceive slights and aspersions that aren't there at all, that's how good I am at it.. I have come so close to leaving TW so many times I have run out of fingers and toes to count them on and may have to start using someone else's. Hey Wendy, get over here.

Mostly I mask my insecurities with flip remarks and juvenile humor but I have learned, in the school of hardknocks, not to act out due to hurt feelings, but to wait a bit...and then act the fool.<sigh> Nonetheless, as Wendy said and as I mentioned, most of the catfights I have seen here on TW are the result of personal clashes rather than anything that is fundamentally wrong with the site itself. And as Lilienne said, if you feel something needs fixing, then fix it or bring it to the attention of someone who can fix it. Maybe you'll be told you're full of it and nothing will be changed but at least you tried, right?

Hugs...Joni Marie

Those of us who are hypersensitive to criticism etc have got problems.Sometimes however, valid,justified criticism is unavoidable and indeed necessary and so we should perhaps learn how to accept and deal with it constructively ,rather than running away or pulling the blanket over our heads. If someone posts a comment or criticism which is not directed at a specific person and yet we feel the need to take it personally then I think the correct procedure is to stop and ask ourselves why we feel that way about it.Why,for example,if someone points out an open door do some of us prefer to take offence and continue banging our heads on the wall........right next to the open door?Going off in high dudgeon or getting worked up over a non-existant personal attack is not the answer.What's the old saying,"If you can't stand the heat stay out of the kitchen"?

Or do we all think TW ought to be nothing more than a branch of Cloud-Cuckoo-Land,dispensing only rosy pictures of tranny life and blocking out reality completely?I know which option I prefer.:


Have it your own way..........

Lynn H.

Lynn-

Was that directed at me?<lol>

Hugs...Joni Marie

No!!!!!! Actually I was just trying to make a general point resulting from observations made not just on TW but also in the big, wide,non-tranny world outside...........thanks for taking the bait,Joni

For anyone else who feels they're personally 'got at' in my posting-You're wrong................But if the cap fits........................

ciao

Lynn H.

Hiya lol
I would just like to end this thread with i'm bonkers and just ignore me lol
Plus i would like to add the original outburst was not really aimed at anyone it was just me ranting and raving as usual lol.
Ok i'm bonkers and having troubles dealing with being me but that does not excuse me having a go at anyone else, so i would like very much to say i'm extremely sorry Katie and Lilienne for pointing fingers when the only finger that nedded pointing was at me and the place i had returned to yet again.
Katie as for geting rid of chat and concentrating on forums !!!!!!!! mmmm dont you dare girl i will bite ya hard if ya do lol, Ok i'm not exactly sane but i hope i do make a difference for some peeps in chat and i love it to bits forvever coz as you know and have seen with my original interview when i came here this place saved my life and it has since on lots of times. I have made some really great freinds here who accept me for the bonkers bitch i can be and the nice person i hope i am most of the time.
I would like to say thank you very much to Sarah who has helped me a great deal in the last few weeks, with holding my hand when i nedded it the most and kicking me up the bum too lol. So girls i am sorry to report I'm back kicking and fighting for my future and trying to fulfill my roll as a chat mod as best as i can.
I hope you are stuck with me for many yars to come lol, and dont you all say OMG at once lol
Hugs girls and thanks for geing there for me and accepting me for the Plonker i can be.
Lots of love and Hugs Sammi xxxx
Sarah Sweetthing Lova babes always no matter what happens XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sammi, I hope we are stuck with you for many years too. Girl, I've been there. Sometimes we all get off the wall for a bit. It's human and not a crime. I hope you find the same peace here at TW that I have.

Welcome back, Sammi.

Hugs...Joni Marie

Oh, I think I've nipped into the thread before it's sent to it's cyber grave!

I've read this thread a few times but not commented. Mainly because I don't use 'chat' and don't know - but sympathise with - Sammi.

The points I want to make are firstly, keep chat. It seems to be useful to those who indulge in such a hedonistic delight, lol.

Secondly, WB Sammi, it was so good to read your latest post. You are an absolute credit to yourself. It takes a lot of courage to bounce back in the way you have. So very much love to you. And clearly you have at least one good friend. [Incidently, thats just about the optimum number of good friends we need].

Thirdly, Katie, I appreciate and understand what you're saying. But, whilst it may look 'bad' to those newbies who just skip through a thread, I do feel it actually does the converse. It shines out like a beacon. It is telling a story of trouble, of problems or identity issues. But like all truly great tales of human nature, does'nt it just come good at the end?

This thread, for me, epitomises the trials and tribulations of being TS.

I'm happy for it to stay and reflect accurately on the lives of many of us - but fully understand if you see a need to pull the plug. [Just don't claim 88p on expenses, ok?]

Much love to you all.

Rae x

Hi Katie-

I have to say I agree with Rae in regards to this post. In all honesty I think that when all is said and done it reflects well on TW as a whole. The issue was discussed and resolved in an adult manner and ended on an amicable note. And, Sammi, as Rae said, it takes courage to stand up and admit that we have made a mistake no matter how justified we may have felt at the time. It's good to have you back.

Hugs...Joni Marie

I'm with Rae and Joni. To me, this thread reflects what is best in TW. Understanding and support in the face of a Sister in trouble. Where else could you get such caring, even from some who may never have met you? Even I got upset and "left" for two days way back when....but I could not stay away for long.

For what it’s worth I’d also prefer the thread to be removed. It was a personal issue, hopefully now resolved.
I think though that this is between Katie and Sammi, and “support” of this thread for whatever reason seems irrelevant.
The finger pointing and naming names of people who left for reasons implied but not necessarily true were unnecessary, and enough for a new visitor to turn on their heels and head straight out the door.
xx

People come and go from chat and from the site for a variety of reasons. More often than not, it's because the demands of our lives outside the virtual realm do not allow the same kind of time we had to participate on whatever level we once did.

There are other factors as well. In fact, I just had a long phone conversation with M/A, as I do pretty much every Sunday, and this is a good example of a phenomenon that she and I discuss frequently.

During one of our many conversations concerning TW topics, I characterized the site as a sort of "tranny university." M/A and I met here in 2004, when we both first became members. We were sort of poking around, seeing what the community had to offer us in this new internet age. What we found was a place where we could develop relationships with others like ourselves.

Having done so, we sort of "graduated," taking these relationships to the next level, into "real life." M/A and I often observe that our lives today bear little resemblance to what they were five years ago. We have been able to fully realize our gender expression, thanks to the experiences we have shared, the resources we discovered and the identities we accepted, due largely to our participation here.

Some members here will never take their expression to the next level. Some will continue to hide behind the identities they have created here in the virtual realm. Some will be "career students," never venturing beyond these hallowed halls to discover the wonders that await them in the outside world. And that's all OK. TW continues to play an important role in their lives.

But for some of us alumni who have matriculated, myself included, the occasional visit to the old alma mater, when time permits is most enjoyable, and the chatroom is an important element of this for me. The hostesses, whoever they are, or whoever they pretend to be, are an essential part of the chatroom experience, maintaining the global reputation TW has always had as the friendliest and safest transgender chatroom on the web.

Interesting analogy Robyn...I like the "Tranny University" part... thnx for your input and especially as an "older" veteran of TW coming back in to help out and support us "frosh". (s)

Traci

Once you get over the hazing and the occasional butt paddling, it's really OK here. Now, run to the keg and get me a beer, frosh.

Oh, and the panty raids are great fun!

By the way, Traci, when are you coming over to dinner with Anna and me, seein' as how you're right here in Richmond.

MMMM. Katie hunni,

You know - as may others here - I hold you in high regard. If you really do decide to cut this thread then fine, it's no never mind. Your judgement holds.

But I do think you might be at the helm of giving new members the rough ride around. Do you really think new members can't be bothered to read a thread? Or, perhaps, are unable to? Give them a little credit. The chances are - like me and many others - they're keen, they're desperate, they read the whole thread.

I do not believe I am in the least bit unique. But I still read a thread all the way through before commenting. How else can I make - ok, many will argue! - a sensible post? And if I don't read a thread all the way through, I'll admit it before I post - just to keep things in context.

Don't dumb down the threads because you think those using them are dumbed down enough not to read them!

You may, like Lucy, feel this thread is too personal to remain - a good point to give it euthanasia. But you may also see it as a fantastic thread that highlights the issues that so - unfortunately - go hand in hand with TW issues.

It's a very tough call.

But whatever you decide, hunni, those of us who truly love and understand TW are right there behind you. Regardless.

[Puts dagger in collection bin. humph].

:)

Much love and may TW go from strength to strength.

Rae xxx