Hi Cristine,

No, I can't say I've been happy about being TG. Too much shame, rejection, self pitying, and loneliness (especially in the pre-Internet days of near total isolation.) But it's been my life and had good times, too.

Best,
Melody

Crissie...

No one in their right minds would choose this lifestyle for many reasons stated in yours and Melody's posts. Carrying around this "burden" of guilt, shame, and all, plus the lies and sneakiness doesn't wear well on one's soul. I made myself happy as a male in that I always view a glass as half full and try to spread love and laughter to those I meet. But I was dying on the inside, a slow, anguished process that offered little relief or hope. That said, am I happy to be "this way"? Yes, I am finally at peace with myself and can see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.

Traci xxx

First of all, I would never describe being transgender (or transsexual) as a "lifestyle" because it sounds frivolous, it implies that choice was involved. Now as to being glad, I have run the gamut of feeling about this since my first transition in 1985. Back then (and more than once since then) I would have described this life condition as a curse from God. I used to have long conversations with God that involved a lot of tears, the "F" word and such.

But eventually I was able to find it a blessing. There's far more I can say on this topic than I have time to write now, but I will just say that being a transsexual woman has forced me to learn patience, strength, courage, endurance, compassion (for self and others) and even faith far beyond what I would have had to, were I to be like the vast majority of people born with XY chromosomes: boring — no, just kidding! After you've survived, surmounted and succeeded in a trans life, there isn't too much you won't be able to handle.

Does that make sense?


"Off with their transphobic heads!"

Makes lots of sense, and I am NOT making light of it either....most girls in here are not transitioning, hence the use of the word "lifestyle" for lack of better terms. If you can provide a more suitable word to describe it, please do so. There are many that DO look at it like a "lifestyle" so your guidance would be appreciated.

Music career over? Looking for a singer...thnx in advance...

Traci

Glad i was born this way ? OF COURSE NOT !!!

Why, because we are different, we stand out from the crowd.
When you are growing up, thats the last thing you want.
I come from a large family, it was hard knowing that i was different from all my brothrers and sisters.
Fighting this feeling through a marraige, where i was told i was sick and perverted.
So Cristine, yes it was a stupid question !!!

Having said all that, i'm at peace with myself now, and accepted who i'm and proud of it !!!

Paula

I guess the number of correct answers to the question are as numerous as the transgendered people on the planet. No two outlooks will be exactly the same!
For me, it has - at times - been a hard and confusing journey. But to get to where I am today it has been infinately worthwhile. Whilst there are many things in the past I wish I could have changed, the present I wouldn't swap for the world. Never having been 100% male I have no way of saying if I would have preferred to be born that way. The same goes for female. But I have empathy with both. If I were to be completely honest I would have to say, yes, I am glad I was born transgendered. I would have preferred the understanding of how I handle things a lot earlier but cannot criticise the times I was born into.
I have started down the road of transitioning. But I don't feel a need to pass 100%. I am simply looking to be me. Accepted as me. And that also includes thanking that bundle of mixed up skin and bones that - against considerable odds - came squawking and wailing into the world some forty seven years ago. I really don't believe that, without the past I had, my future would be so good. I don't think I would be the writer I am or the artist I am. I don't think I would have gained the amazing friends I have - who are now closer to me than family.
My one main regret is a regret I hold through pure selfishness. I often think that, had I had a better understanding of myself and who I was, then perhaps the one true boyfriend I've ever had would still be alive today and still be by my side.
I'm sure I haven't answered your post very well, Cristine. But it was a heck of a post... :/

I'm with you Cris. My profile has always said "I hate being TS." Does that mean I am unhappy being TS, of course not. I have learned to make the most of my situation and now can say I am happy but there were plenty of times throughout my life I wish I was dead. I am very fortunate for the people in my life and that in essence has given me a new life.

I don't know what it would have been like to be a normal boy or girl growing up other than what I have seen others including my kids go through. That definitely wasn't how my early life was. Typically when I get depressed it is because of thinking about how I never had the opportunity to be that little girl growing up. For that matter I wasn't that little boy either, instead I was that outcast kid, knowing I was different, just not knowing what it was.

So I guess that is the answer to your question. No, I am not glad I was born TS. Because of it I never had a real childhood.

Hugs,
Marsha

You are right on target as usual Christine . Why would anyone choose something so controversial. It's a heavy cross to carry, but somehow we acquire fortitude. Although, there is a bright side of carrying this cross, I am just glad it did not come along with a crown of thorns......Huggs Tammy

Cristine

This post arrived like an express train, churned up the static air, forced many to step back abruptly and may now have already passed through. So this additional comment feels a bit like a pirouetting autumnal leaf stirred up by the draught...

No, of course I'd rather not be TG, because whilst your parents might f**k you up, Gender Dysphoria pulls you out of a comfortable place and forces you to question your very being. It's an out-of-body-in-a-body experience. That said, I can appreciate why the question was raised initially, because once you appreciate that it's unavoidable - that it's you, then you begin to appreciate that it may be an odd sort of blessing. May be..

Personally, I just wish that the intensity of my own Gender Dysphoria was greater (How do you turn it up to 11?) so that I was entirely unable to control or suppress, but that's perhaps off topic. But a more significant concern to me now, is why I commenced with a railway analogy and a Philip Larkin reference? I've come over all Betjeman and middle England. What's that called?

Rachel

Wow!

Am I glad that I was born a tranny?

No simple answer here. Yes and No.

I would rather have been born a gg. I would rather be transgendered than male. I have always had a bit of distaste about how most men I knew thought and felt. That gap has grown over the years. They serve a useful function in that they give the species a wonderfully effective way of creating genetic diversity. The additional benefits are that they can do this in a very, mutually-pleasurable way, if they are not being self-centered during the process. (This caveat holds true for women as well.) Another is that they can provide food and protection, which is an additional benefit to the species. And, yes, there are some activities that I enjoy, that are preferred mostly by men. However, the idea of repeating my life journey as a male, even not transgendered, fills me with distaste.

I am a better person now that I have realized/accepted my transgendered nature. I like who I am much better as Me than as Him. I like my ability to understand and empathize in a way neither gender can quite match. I like that I can think "outside the box" and that I am more open to changing how I see/feel things. How can one give up the gift of a mind that sees the world in a special way? I love that I can enjoy things, now, without guilt.

I wish I could extinguish all the illogical shame that was conditioned into me. It strikes out like a snake when I do not expect it. I wish I did not have to live with any fear of being attacked verbally/emotionally for what I am. Physical threat is no change for me, since I fear that no more now than I did/do for most of my life. I am merely better prepared to deal with it. I lived with it as a male and I know females have their own, justifiable fears of it. It is, however, the emotional attacks I fear most...and that because I still carry that long-conditioned shame that is hard to shake off completely.

I find myself unable to shake off the certainty that I would be killing my Self by becoming cis-gendered; even retaining the same memories, I would change. Yes, I would gain in some areas, but I would not be Me. I think I have grown to like myself too much, over the last 6 years, to be willing to do this. This makes it hard to say that I wish I had not been born transgendered. It seems preferable to having been born male. It might....might I emphasize....be a fair trade off for being a cis-gendered female. Having not lived my life as one, however, how can I be sure. I am willing to try it and report back, lol.

Final analysis. I would rather try to make being trans the best I can than to risk having to relive my life as a cis-gendered male. So, Christine, I have to reject the binary-choice option of your questioner's "glad" - "not glad". I am also never going to try brussel sprouts again. Bleh! Perhaps, the best response is that I would rather be bald than die of cancer.

I wish I hadn't been, life would have been so much simpler. I wouldn't care whether that left me female or male but being in between is just purgatory. Like others, I make the best of the situation. It does have some positive sides, for instance, being able to see something of life from both perspectives.

The bottom line for me is that there is nothing easy or simple about this way of life, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Nikki

Dear Cristine,
I'm sorry you were asked such a "confusing" question. True it is a stupid question; it makes me open feeling that have been stored (hidden) in corners of my mind. Feelings I don't like - confusing feelings.
There's an old saying "You play the cards you were dealt." That's so simplistic it is stupid.
I didn't like being the kid who was different - didn't fit in - was accused of being weird, strange or whatever insult was in fad at the time.
I remember asking a doctor why I was different - duh - never got an answer.
I guess I never really figured out what "happiness" is all about. Life goes on and I make the best of it. Does wearing a dress, sexy undies and heels make me happy? Honestly, no - but it's nice- it makes be feel better.

Are you sure I can't adopt you?
hugs and kisses
Auntie Gracie

No Cristine and yes lol.
No I was very ashamed and hid all my life in the closet, thinking I was bonkers lol. Was not until the internet that, realised I was not on my own lol.

Yes that if I had not been a tranny would never have met you, so really its just sorta fate. Met some wonderfull peeps you know who you are. xxxxx. Do I get a kick outa being a tranny, no but it makes me feel dam good lol. Cass said your one in a million well shes right. loves always. Jane. little miss innocent so I am .

Hiya Gang!

Lots of interesting and thoughtful posts here.

It has been my experience that theres an awful amount of pain and suffering and I would go as far to say I wouldnt wish Gender Dsyphoria on my worst enemies. Anyone suggesting that this is a lifestyle choice obviously has little or no understanding of the condition.

That said, since I have accepted my own gender dsyphoria and altered my life to suit I have never been so content and happy despite the difficulties along the way. Its the best "choice" I ever made, not to be transgendered, but to live my life in freedom, as every human has the right to do.

One term of emotional blackmail my familiars often coin to me is, how can I be so selfish considering my daughter and all. My response to that is, how can I teach my daughter self respect and freedom if I am unable to give myself that. I'm not a hypocrit.

Take care everyone xxx
Love
Penny

I’ve struggled to find the right combination of words to rely to this – so far no dice. But, fortunately several other’s have found the words and I agree with them.
- I am not ‘glad’ I am tranny – but I am glad I have come to accept myself and through that, I find I am also more accepting of others
- The pain of not fitting in, the paranoia of what would happen if people found out, and constant conflict of the duality have been hard to endure, but I like to think I’m better for it

I guess like in so many things in this world there are pluses and minuses to every situation, at this point in my life I think being at tranny falls to the plus side. But, I certainly wouldn't have 'chosen' this path.

Jeri